


Human

by WritingIsMyAddiction



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-13 17:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 106,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3390797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingIsMyAddiction/pseuds/WritingIsMyAddiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is too late to warn Lexa and the other Commanders about the missile. This is the aftermath of 2x12</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Human

Rating: R

Pairing: Clarke Griffin/Lexa

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of this fandom. I'm just borrowing them. The 100 belongs to the CW and whomever has creative rights to it.

Note: This story diverges from canon towards the end of 2x12 but I've tried to keep it as close as possible to the nature of the characters.

Summary: Clarke is too late to warn Lexa and the other Commanders about the missile. This is the aftermath of 2x12.

**See A/N at the end of the chapter.**

Chapter One –

Clarke urged her horse faster as it weaved through the forest, digging her heals into the sides of the beast and feeling it surge forward. She had to get to Tondc and warn them before the missile launched. She could see the scouts in the distance, the border patrol having caught sight of her racing towards them. One of them raised his spear thinking that she was a threat to them. Without thinking of what she was saying Clarke began to yell at them, her sentences made little sense of she needed them to sound an alarm so that people would know.

"There's a missile. Mount Weather is launching a missile. You have to warn them!" Clarke screamed. The sound of the first warning horn had just sounded when the explosion happened. A blinding light in the darkened evening, and then the concussive force of the blast sent Clarke off her horse. She was numb to the pain of her fall as she scrambled to stand, she had to get to Lexa. But the sight before her eyes was utter devastation, the flames reached the top of the trees, there was no sign of the village at all.

Still, Clarke ran towards Tondc, blind hope and desperation that people had survived driving her. The Grounder scouts stood looking at their home, they had been far enough away from the blast to have only suffered what Clarke had. For a few moments after the explosion the world seemed to hold its breath, there was no sound except for the fire and the sound of the trees as they groaned. And then, there was the sound of someone screaming. Normally it was not a sound that would bring Clarke any comfort. But it meant that someone had survived.

"Go to Camp Jaha. Bring everyone you can to come help look for survivors." Clark ordered one of the scouts. Pushing him in the opposite direction of Tondc the man sprinted.

"Clarke!" Hearing her name called by a familiar voice Clarke looked around. In the darkness of the forest it was hard to see where the voice was coming from until she felt two strong arms being thrown around her neck. Octavia had been on a perimeter walk when the explosion happened.

"Thank God." Clarke whispered hugging the brunette to her.

"What happened?"

"Mount Weather launched a missile. They know that the other commanders are here and so they wanted to take us all out at once." Clarke explained. The flames were beginning to die down slightly and she could see for the first time the extent of the damage. Miraculously some of the buildings were still standing, a lot of them in fact. Walking into the border of the village Clarke was surprised at how much of the village survived such a large explosion.

"I have to go look for Indra and the Commander." Octavia said her conflicting nature coming forth. Her responsibility to Indra as her second and her loyalty to her own people.

"I think the missile missed the village." Clarke said looking at the surrounding trees. There was still damage, and a lot of it but they weren't standing in a crater like she feared they might be. Already, those who were able had begun to come out of their homes, banged up and bruised but otherwise alive. The night was then filled with another sound, the sound of people in pain and suffering. "We have to find Lexa."

More and more people emerged from the village, some gathering in the streets to try and figure out what had happened.

Clarke barked orders like she never had before, commanding Grounders and Sky People alike. She spoke with such authority that the Grounder's listened and did as she said. There needed to be organized searches for people, and everyone needed to know where to take the wounded. And she needed to find Lexa. She feared the Commander dead, having seen what was left of the Commanders hut.

The missile had missed the village, landing mercifully many dozen miles away. Though the blast did a fair amount of damage. There was little left of Lexa's hut and she had not been found within it. It was promising considering no one was found in to. Clarke hoped that meant that Lexa and the other Commander's had gotten away in time.

"LEXA!" Clarke shouted for the brunette not thinking of the etiquette of calling the Commander by her name. She didn't care about protocol she needed to know that Lexa was alive.

There was a lot of unreconciled things she still needed to figure out as far as the Commander was concerned. Lexa was frustrating, stubborn, and dangerous but she was also someone who had managed to get under Clarke's skin and make her car. Clarke was even starting to consider Lexa a friend.

"Clarke!" Octavia's voice calling to her prompted Clarke to break out in a sprint. When she found the younger girl she found Octavia kneeling next to Lexa. The Commander was laying on her back, barely conscious.

"Lexa." Clarke knelt down looking of Lexa's body to assess her for injuries. It was hard to tell because it was so dark out but Clarke could see a lot of blood. And it was hard to tell where it was coming from.

"Clarke of the Sky People." Lexa whispered, her voice hoarse and quiet.

"Shh, you need to save your strength. You're going to be fine." Clarke promised feeling Lexa's blood coat her hands as she pressed against one of the larger wounds. Lexa didn't even flinch.

"Your eyes speak the truth your words do not. My Spirit is about to move on." Lexa forced her eyes to focus on Clarke though it was becoming difficult.

"No."

"Maybe…maybe my Spirit will find you. And you can lead both our people." Lexa spoke as if the idea was appealing to her.

"Remember what I told you that day in the gorilla cage? Your Spirit is staying right where it is." Clarke spoke with determination. Lexa was going to live because Clarke needed her to live. She'd already lost too many people that she cared about and she wasn't going to lose Lexa to. Lexa looked up at Clarke, she wanted to argue but she could see that there wasn't any point Clarke was too stubborn.

Lexa felt them lifting her, but she wasn't focusing on them. She wasn't even focused on the pain anymore. Truth be told she didn't even feel it. She kept her focus on Clarke, the Sky Princess kept her eye locked on Lexa's silently commanding Lexa to not give up. Clarke's words echoed in her mind, she wasn't even sure if she was imagining Clarke's repeated mantra " _You're going to be okay."_

Lexa's surgery was a bloody mess, Clarke watched her mom try everything she could to stop the bleeding but it just kept coming. Lexa's body had taken such a beating from the explosion it was a miracle that she was still alive.

"Clarke I need your hands!" Abby called looking up at her daughter, she could see the horror on the younger girls face. Clarke was a skilled healer, but she felt paralyzed, unable to move. Abby's sharp words seemed to snap Clarke out of it. Spurring her into action. Abby told Clarke exactly where she needed her and what to do. But Clarke had been trained since she was a little girl, Abby had seen to that when Clarke was on the Ark.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She has severe internal bleeding Clarke." That was as much as Abby would say, she made no promises but she would be damned if she let the Commander of the Grounder's die on her operating table.

* * *

Everyone gathered in the courtyard outside of the medical bay, Grounders waiting anxiously for word on their Commander. Those who had been injured had been treated and then joined the growing number of Grounder's praying to their Gods for the health of their Leader. Indra stood impassively, like a statue facing the medical bay doors waiting for it to open and for there to be word. This was all new to them. Before the Sky people fell from space, if a Commander was injured they did what they could but more often than not they would die quickly and a new Commander was chosen.

When the bay doors opened Indra walked to Abby, her look spoke the words she hadn't. Abby knew that Indra felt like she had failed her Commander, and that Indra felt every bit responsible for not getting Lexa out.

"She's going to be okay. She had some internal injuries but we stabilized them. I'm worried about the laceration along her abdomen, but we stitched it up the best we could." Abby said quietly.

"Laceration?" Indra had not heard the word before but it did not sound good.

"A cut. A deep cut from when she landed."

"But she will heal?"

"That's not all I'm worried about. We had to sedate her for the surgery. But she came out of the anesthetic. She is refusing any further pain medication." Abby had never seen someone fight so hard when it came to accepting something that would make it better.

"The Commander cannot be seen as weak. Pain is a part of life. She will endure it." Indra said.

"She could have a heart attack. She is in a lot of pain. You need to convince her that it is not weakness. At least for tonight."

"I will not."

"Then she could still die." Abby insisted, surprised at the willingness they had to let Lexa suffer.

"Make no mistake, the Commander means more to me than you can know. But she would not want to go against the traditions of our people."

"There has to be some remedy that your healers have that could cause her some relief."

"I will speak to our healer."

"Thank you." Indra nodded and went to talk to their healers.

* * *

Lexa lay on the medical bed, eyes looking unfocused at the ceiling as her breath came shallow and quickly. She'd been awake for a few minutes and already wished that she had been allowed to die. Clarke sat beside Lexa, her hand clutching Lexa's hand feeling the Commander gripping tightly to her hand.

"Lexa, please let me get you something for the pain." Clarke begged.

"No." Lexa whispered.

"You don't need to suffer like this. It'll just take the edge off." Lexa turned her head, her green eyes boring into Clarke. Her skin was covered in sweat and her entire body trembled, Clarke felt so helpless.

"I can't. It is not our way." Lexa answered. She wished she could sleep away the pain, pass out until she could manage it better. But her body rebelled against that idea, keeping her awake to feel every bit of pain.

"You're so stubborn."

"I've been told." Lexa said the ghost of a smirk on her face before it was replaced by a grimace. The door opened to the med bay and Nyko walked in holding a cup in his hand and followed by Indra and Abby. He moved beside Lexa and bowed his head.

"Heda, drink this. It will help." He said holding out the cup. Clarke looked down at the cup and smelled what was inside. It smelled strongly of herbs but she was suspicious. The last time she had trusted the Grounder's to heal someone they had tried to poison Lincoln. Clarke couldn't trust them with Lexa like that, even if they thought what they were doing was a mercy.

"Is it poison?" Clarke asked, as soon as the words were would of her mouth she knew that she had offended the Grounder.

"How dare you!"

"You tried to kill Lincoln because it was a mercy. I know that you have different ways than we do. But she just needs something for the pain. She'll be fine otherwise." Clarke reasoned.

"Clarke, it's ok. It's a mixture of Violet and Nightshade. I've had it before." Lexa recognized the smell. It was a common remedy for injured warriors. She looked forwards to its effects.

"Are you sure?" Clarke asked.

"You wanted to alleviate my pain. This is the way." Lexa said grabbing the cup from Clarke and pouring some of the liquid in her mouth. The heat of the water burned but Lexa didn't care. She drank greedily before feeling the drowsiness of the medicine take effect. Her vision blurred and she looked at Clarke, seeing her features losing focus before falling asleep.

Clarke watched Lexa sleep for several minutes, glad that the brunette was able to find some relief from the pain that she must have been in.

She couldn't bring herself to leave Lexa that night, watching as the Commander's chest rose and fell with each deep breath that she took. It was comforting. She had spent so long watching Lexa sleep that when the door opened Clarke jumped. Octavia lingered by the door, looking in at the Commander whom she had sworn loyalty to by being Indra's second, and her friend.

"How is she?" Octavia asked.

"She'll be okay. She was lucky. We all were." Clarke said with a forced smile. She wished could be more reassuring but she was feeling the exhaustion.

"Those who weren't injured have started to rebuild Tondc. They want it ready when the Commander wakes up." Octavia had never seen this side of the Grounders before. She had seen them as they prepared for battle. She had seen them while they went about their everyday life. But the way that they recovered from such a crippling blow.

"We'll give them whatever aid we can." Clarke said.

"Yeah, your mom has seen to that."

The two women stood silently beside Lexa, Clarke had resumed her vigil but Octavia was watching the blonde. Seeing the way that Clarke stared, the concern that hadn't left her face yet. Octavia wondered if Clarke knew about her feelings for the Commander. The way that Clarke looked at Lexa was so much more than a friendly glance here and there, each look was filled with a genuine longing. Lexa filled a need that Clarke didn't even know that she was feeling.

"She's going to be okay." Octavia said putting her hand on Clarke's shoulder. The blonde looked up at her and nodded, she knew that was true because of what her mother had said. So long as there weren't any complications Lexa was supposed to make a full recovery. But that still didn't mean she wasn't worried.

"I can't do this without her."

"You and the Commander are pretty close huh?" The brunette asked. Clarke shot Octavia a look that would have silenced anyone else. But Clarke wasn't ready to deal with how she felt about Lexa. Lexa made Clarke feel things she hadn't felt since Finn, and even with Finn it hadn't been like this.

"What are you getting at?" Clarke asked defensively.

"Nothing. Just making an observation." Octavia knew when not to push. Finn's death was still so fresh in Clarke's mind.

"I should hate her. For what she made me do to Finn." Clarke whispered.

"You did what you had to do. You saved him the pain of eighteen deaths. And you showed the Grounders that you were willing to do what needed to be done for peace. It's because of that we have this truce with the Grounders."

"Thanks Octavia."

* * *

Lexa woke slowly, her body aching and each breath felt like she was inhaling fire. The bed beneath her felt foreign, there were no furs over her, no smell of flames or incense. She was not among her people. It took her a moment to remember where she was and what had happened. She was at the Sky People camp. As she shifted, taking stock of her injuries Lexa found that she couldn't move her right hand. The initial alarm that she might have permanent damage to her appendage Lexa looked down to see what had happened to it. And that's when she saw the reason she couldn't move her hand was because Clarke was still holding on to it. Their fingers were interlocked and Clarke's grip was firm, like she was afraid if she let go then Lexa would die.

The blonde Commander was sleeping with her head resting on the side of the bed, Lexa couldn't see Clarke's face hidden behind the blonde hair that covered her. Lexa didn't understand why Clarke was next to her, that was not the way of her people. When the Commander was injured she was usually left to heal on her own and only tended to when she needed something. Her shifting must have woken Clarke, the blonde lifting her head and looking at her with sleep filled eyes.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Clarke asked her voice thick with sleep.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Lexa countered.

"Yeah, I had to make sure nothing happened to you." Clarke said blushing a deep red.

"My guards would have protected me." Lexa said.

"I know. But they wouldn't have known what to do if something went wrong. I didn't want you to wake up alone." Clarke answered.

"Your customs are very confusing." Lexa said sitting up slightly feeling the pull on her stitches and the stinging of her injuries.

"You shouldn't sit up."

"Clarke, I'm not weak."

"I know you aren't. But you have a bruised spleen, a six inch laceration along your torso, and a broken rib." Clarke emphasized. Lexa stared up at Clarke defiantly. "So stop being stubborn. It's okay that you're in pain."

"I need to see to my people. I need to know what happened." Lexa argued.

"The Mountain Men launched a missile at the camp because they found out that you were hosting a meeting with the other Commanders. But their missile missed. Most of Tondc is still standing but your people are starting to rebuild it." Clarke gave Lexa the cliff notes version knowing that if she didn't Lexa would get up and risk aggravating her wounds more.

"How many dead?"

"Twenty seven." Clarke watched the pain cross over Lexa's face before she could stop it but then the pain was masked by the same impassiveness Clarke had seen on Lexa's face many times. It always amazed Clarke how Lexa could do that, take something that hurt her so deeply, and she had no doubt that Lexa felt every death as if it were her own. And she could push it deep within her so that no one would know that felt the pain.

"I have to tend to my people." Lexa said trying to sit up again.

"You need to focus on getting better. You are no good to them like this." Clarke insisted holding Lexa down by her shoulders.

"Do not touch me." Lexa hissed. Clarke knew what Lexa was doing, she was lashing out because she was angry and she was hurt. Clarke wasn't supposed to see the Commander suffering this way. Maybe it was because of the combination of physical pain and emotional pain that made it harder for Lexa to hide it.

"Lexa, it's just me. I'm not going to think any less of you for being human." Clarke promised. In fact she might actually respect Lexa more for showing that she still felt something. She'd thought that Lexa was so strong before, being able to hide her emotions almost convincing Clarke that she didn't have feelings at all. But the more time she spent with Lexa, the more Clarke realized that Lexa felt every loss, every decision she made. But she wasn't allowed to be weak. And it made Clarke determined to be the one that Lexa could confide in.

"A Commander cannot be human."

"Yes you can. There is no one around to see. Get angry, be sad, feel pain. There is no weakness in that." Clarke insisted getting up from her chair sending the seat back flying.

"That is the difference between our people Clarke. You have time to show weakness and not worry about your Generals slaughtering you in your sleep. I show weakness and I show my people I am not worthy to be their leader." Clarke remembered what Lincoln had told her about Grounder culture. Even if Lexa wanted to be merciful she couldn't be. Her people wouldn't follow a leader they thought to be weak.

"Fine. But you're staying here until I say otherwise. I can't have you making your injuries any worse."

"We have to plan. Their attack changes things."

"In the morning."

"Clarke-"

"IN THE MORNING!" Clarke shouted. Her voice echoing in the medical bay. Lexa looked up at Clarke, eyes widened in alarm at the sudden outburst. Clarke realized in that moment that she had revealed too much. "You are too important for you to let your stubbornness risk making your injuries worse. You will stay in this bed until morning when I'll check your injuries to make sure that you can get up without doing more damage. This isn't a negotiation." Clarke finished before storming out of the medical bay leaving Lexa to watch her missing the smirk that pulled at Lexa's lips.


	2. Chapter Two

**AN: Flashbacks are in italics.**

Chapter Two

Lexa watched Clarke look over her wound, the wound was angry red from her rib cage down to her hip bone and held together by thick black stitches. Clarke hadn't offered her any greeting when she had come into the medical bay, she had silently walked in with her shoulders squared like she was prepared for a fight and she had told Lexa that she was going to look over Lexa's injuries before allowing the Commander to get up. Several of the bruises were much darker now and Clarke made sure to be gentle with those areas, her finger tips barely touching Lexa's soft skin. She couldn't help but notice the way that Lexa's muscle's tensed under her touch.

"Are you going to refuse to speak to me?" Lexa asked ducking her head to try and catch Clarke's eyes. Clarke's eyes darted u to meet Lexa's and then went back to what she was doing.

"Depends. Are you going to say anything that isn't going to piss me off?" Clarke asked. Lexa knew she was being petulant. Clarke was just trying to help her. But she didn't know how to make Clarke understand that accepting help was rare in her culture.

"I'm sorry." Lexa said. Clarke dropped her hands away from Lexa, her eyes finding Lexa's. She had ever known Lexa to apologize for anything. And from the way the words sounded strangled and odd Lexa probably didn't say it often.

"Was that as hard to say as it looked?" Clarke teased.

"I don't make a habit of saying it." Lexa reminded, though it didn't need to be said. Clarke doubted that Lexa apologized to anyone.

"I noticed." Clarke began bandaging Lexa's wound in clean gauze when her hand skimmed over Lexa's rib. The Commander hissed sharply, grabbing Clarke's wrist and jerking it away.

"Ow." Lexa growled shooting Clarke a less than lethal glare. Clarke was about to apologize when she realized that Lexa was still holding onto her wrist. The Commander's grip was strong, practiced in holding swords and weapons, yet she was holding onto Clarke's hand so gently.

"Sorry." Clarke said finally.

"Forgive my childishness."

"Yes, I forgive you. Your stubbornness can be endearing sometimes." Clarke offered as Lexa stood, at first she stood uneasily but then she gained her solid footing.

"I will remember you said that." Lexa's eyes sparkled with mischief and Clarke was sure her heart skipped a beat. It seemed that Lexa was flirting with her though Clarke couldn't tell if that was wishful thinking or not.

"You're healing well. I'd prefer it if you didn't get up and walk around but I doubt I could stop you. So just, try not to do anything to strenuous. And com get me if your stitches come out."

"My people need to see their Commander Clarke. I know that you think that is foolish. But it will bring them strength and a sense of motivation." Lexa said by way of explaining why she was so determined to get up.

"They also need for her not to die because of her own stupidity." Clarke grumbled. Clarke mentally kicked herself, she was taking a big risk insulting Lexa so openly. Lexa was silent for several long moments and Clarke was beginning to worry until Lexa smirked.

Clarke finished tending Lexa's wounds but couldn't help but let her eyes linger on scars that marred her sun kissed skin. There were dozens of scars ranging in size and depth. It was a sign of a life lived on the battlefield. Clarke found herself wanting to know the story behind every one of them. Especially the row of equally spaced scars that looked like they had been put there intentionally.

"What are these?" Clarke asked running her fingertips along one of the more recent ones. Lexa looked down at where Clarke's fingers were knowing what she was referring to.

"Blood must have blood Clarke." And Clarke understood what that meant. They were markers o signify kills Lexa had made.

Lexa watched Clarke closely, trying to gauge the blonde's reaction. Sky people had a different view on killing than the Grounders. Clarke thought about what that must have done to Lexa. Lexa pushed Clarke's hand way and grabbed the shirt that Indra had brought her. When she left the med bay, she had to be in her Commander's attire. Clarke watched intently, trying to wrap her mind around what Lexa had just told her.

"Do you think me a savage?" Lexa asked curiously. Remembering when Clarke ad accused her of such when she was pleading for Finn's life.

"No." Clarke answered quickly.

"You've bled for the life that you took too." Lexa reminded looking at the spot Clarke had bled when she pressed against Indra's spear that very same night.

"It just makes me sad."

"Sad? The people who I have killed were treats to my people."

"Sad for you."

"Explain."

"I killed Finn. And that pain won't ever leave me. But you've done it so many times. How do you deal with it?"

"That is your mistake Clarke. You think of it as lives taken. I think of it as lives saved. Each one of the people I have killed means one of my warriors gets to go home to their family. Their children. I have killed for my people, so that they can live." Lexa explained as softly as she could. Clarke wasn't like her though, she didn't live a life bred for battle.

"I never thought of it that way."

"Maybe you should start." Lexa offered. She looked almost back to how Clarke was used to seeing her. Dressed as the Commander should be. The only thing different was her hair. It wasn't braided or pulled back and it hung around her face making her look young. Brushing hair out of Lexa's face Clarke saw Lexa flinch, and it wasn't due to pain but the expectation of attack. Lexa's eyes were wide, and unsure.

"You can barely lift your arms, let me help you." Clarke was pretty sure she could recreate Lexa's braids perfectly. Lexa hesitated, to have someone else braid her hair was an intimate act it was something that usually only an intimate would be allowed to do. Costia used to enjoy doing it.

"I cannot let you do that." Lexa said softly. Though she thought that perhaps she might enjoy Clarke braiding her hair.

"Why not?"

"It is a privilege that implies more than what I think you will be comfortable with." Lexa cautioned.

"Oh."

"Thank you."

Lexa braided her hair quickly, under Clarke's watchful eye. Each braid was perfect, and Lexa moved with the grace of someone who had done this many times. Clarke was awed by the simplicity of it, how Lexa was able to do it without a mirror. The two leaders didn't speak again for several long minutes, Clarke watching as Lexa went from being a girl to being a Commander.

* * *

The cheers and the chanting drew Abby's attention from the wounded Grounder she was tending to, straightening up she saw the young Commander walking into the courtyard. Lexa walked with head held high and proud despite her injury. Abby didn't understand how the Grounders could put their faith in a child even if Lexa had proven herself capable to lead. Even if Abby had forced Clarke into the very situation when she had sent Clarke down in the drop ship, Maybe it was because Abby didn't want to see Clarke become cold like Lexa, brutal and savage. Maybe it was because Aby could already see her daughter becoming harder.

"They treat her like a God." Abby said as Marcus came up beside her. The Grounder that she had been tending to was now walking towards Lexa joining the chanting.

"She's a visionary Abby. And we're alive because of her." Marcus respected Lexa because he had seen her defying what most of her kind would do in order to achieve peace.

"So you're under her spell too?" Abby questioned with an exasperated eye roll.

"I learned a lot when I was at the Grounder camp. The faith that they put in her is not misplaced. She is a Legend among her people." Marcus had heard the stories, listened to the way that they spoke of Lexa. Even the elders. What she had done for her people no other Commander had done before, uniting the clans had been unheard of before Lexa had made it happen.

"Is that supposed to make me worship the ground she walks on?"

"You don't have to like her. But at the very least you can respect her."

Lexa spent the day with her Generals, first looking around the damage in Tondc. Lexa wanted to be seen, she wanted them to be reassured of her strength. Many of them chanted her name when they saw her, some fell to their knees before her. And then she gathered them to talk about how they effected their plan of attack. The other Commanders had all returned to their own lands to gather more warriors and more weapons. Lexa was very aware that the damage from the missile had destroyed some of their weapons. The attack had been the incentive they needed to pledge their resources under Lexa they salvage what they could from Tondc but were moving their settlement. Trigedakru had begun as nomads, picking up and moving their settlements was easy for them. They would go into the trees where they could conceal themselves. They salvaged what they could from Tondc and the Grounders were making quick work of it. Clarke had been surprised to see that much of what they were building was in the trees.

"Tree people." Clarke said as if the thought hadn't occurred to her until just then. The meaning behind what Lexa's clan was called, Octavia looked over at her friend, she'd been watching to. The Grounders seemed at home in the Trees, moving as if there was no danger of falling.

"In the time before, it was too dangerous to be on the ground. The animals were too many and too big. My people took to the trees." Lexa explained coming to stand next to them.

"It's amazing." Octavia said excitedly, she couldn't wait to be up in the trees and see the world that way.

"It really is." Clarke agreed. Lexa didn't let her pride show on her face but Clarke could tell that it was there.

"We appreciate your people's hospitality. But it is no longer needed." Lexa said. The tree huts weren't large. But they didn't need to be, and Lexa looked forward to the solitude. Clarke looked at the only way up into the trees, the ladder that Lexa would be expected to climb and her eyes went to Lexa's side.

"Are you sure that's wise? You're still injured." Lexa glared at Clarke for challenging her. In private Lexa could tolerate it. But not in front of others. No one had heard, Clarke had at least been quiet with her caution.

"Careful. Question me again and I will be forced to prove to you how able I am." The menace in Lexa's voice and the coldness in her eyes made Clarke take a cautious step backwards. Satisfied that her message had been received Lexa turned and walked away.

"That was dumb." Octavia said once they were done.

"What?"

"Challenging her like that. I don't know what your relationship is like inside the tent but out here you can't say shit like that to her or she'll have to prove how lethal she is." Octavia explained. Clarke watched Lexa stalk past her warriors, clear that she was not in the mood to be trifled with.

"I didn't mean to challenge her, I'm just worried." Clarke said sheepishly.

"So be worried. Just don't act worried. Worry to the Grounders means that you don't have confidence in her. It's an insult." Octavia found the practice to be strange too. But it was expected for Grounder families to hide how worried they may be for their warrior. Expecting them to return no matter how bad the odds.

"Shit. I should go apologize."

"No. that's an even worse idea. Let her decompress a little. Talk to her later." Clarke wanted to go to Lexa anyway mostly because she didn't want whatever bonding they had experienced before to be damaged because she'd been stupid.

* * *

"How much longer will you let the blonde girl insult you?" Lexa looked up from her maps, across the table at Indra who paced like a caged animal. Lexa knew that Indra didn't like Clarke, or the Sky People at all, she merely tolerated them. But Lexa knew that Indra would never betray her and would do whatever it was she asked.

"She is the Leader of the Sky People." Lexa answered returning her attention to the maps.

"She disrespects you, questions you. You should not let this stand."

"Their ways are different than ours. They are not accustomed to being submissive."

"If this had been any other tribe you would have taught them that trait."

"Is it how she treats me that bothers you Indra, or the fact that I listen to her?" Lexa asked looking up and pinning Indra with a pointed stare. The older woman shifted under the gaze.

"I do not trust them."

"I do. I trust Clarke because she saved my life when she did not have to. She could have left me to die and she chose to risk her own life to save my own." What happened that day in the forest hadn't been spoke of again between Clarke and Lexa. Clarke had never asked Lexa of anything which would have been her right.

"I did not know."

"Is that all you came here for Indra? To question my judgment?" Lexa asked. Indra shook her head, she had nothing else to say about Clarke. If Lexa said that she trusted Clarke then there would be nothing that she could do.

"Forgive me Heda."

"Forgiven. But mind your place, she will be an ally until our alliance is no longer needed and our people are free of the mountain."

"And then we will break with our alliance."

"So long as it is in our favor the alliance will continue." Lexa had thought about too much, to the point of exhausting her mind on the subject. But she always reminded herself that she had to focus on the battle that lay before them. The Mountain Men have shown how desperate they were to take out the leaders, but no one knew if they had another missile or not. Their attack would need to be swift. Lexa couldn't focus on anything other than that and yet Clarke was on her mind almost constantly.

"Do you favor her?" Indra asked venturing into the hut, her voice quiet so not to be heard by anyone passing by. Indra knew that Lexa had not so much as looked at another since Costia's death. There had been a few that Lexa had taken to her bed to quell the loneliness.

"No." Lexa lied. And it was a convincing lie, and if Indra had not known Lexa better she might have believed it. Her relationship with her General was complicated, there were few in the world she trusted more but she was wary. If she so wished it Indra could be her greatest competition for leadership of the tribe. She was fortunate that the General was content leading her warriors not the whole tribe.

"I'll leave you to rest."

Once she was alone Lexa tried to focus on the maps in front of her but they weren't showing her anything that she hadn't already seen. She knew the mountain, she knew the forest. But she couldn't think of anything else to do. Before any of her other battles she would be training, she would be fighting and honing her skills as well as those of her warriors. But she could barely lift her sword now with her side aching the way that it was. She needed to heal and she needed to heal quickly if she was going to lead her warriors. The medicine she had been given was helping her heal quicker than the herbs Nyko would have offered her.

Outside her window Lexa could see the silhouette of the mountain, it loomed over them it seemed. A constant threat that seemed all the more menacing now.

" _You worry too much." Lexa smiled feeling warm hands slide over her shoulder to circle her neck and then a soft body press against her back. Costia's lips brushing the nape of Lexa's neck. It was early in the morning, the sun barely coming over the horizon, and Lexa should still sleeping but sleep evaded her._

" _The Mountain Men will not stay there forever." Lexa said staring at the mountain in question. It looked so innocent now. It was hard to believe that such horrors could come from the Mountain._

" _But they are there now. So why worry?"_

" _To prepare." Lexa answered. Costia looked at her lover thinking that Lexa sounded more like Anya than the woman that she loved. Leaving more insistent kisses along Lexa's shoulder Costia felt the warrior's body shudder. Lexa turned her head and caught Costia's lips in a deep kiss._

" _Prepare, prepare that is all you do." Costia sighed._

" _I must." Lexa said the weight of her responsibility still settling in on her shoulder._

" _Let me distract you from your burdens Heda." Costia whispered hotly against Lexa's ear. Lexa let herself be pulled back onto the bed and allowed her lover to do just that._

Lexa woke up with a start, she had fallen asleep at her table her head resting on her arm. Her side ached from the awkward position that she had fallen asleep in, but in all honest she had barely registered the pain. Her racing heart rate was more distracting. It had been a long time since she had seen Costia's face in her dreams. Standing up she stretched carefully to straighten her back and then walked the length of the room. It was late. She couldn't tell if it was still night or if it had transferred into morning.

From an opposite window Lexa could see Camp Jaha, the lights of the camp were dim most of its occupants had one to sleep at such a late hour but the perimeter lights were still lit and she could still see the guards. Most of her people had moved into the tree camp but she could see Tondc from her hut as well. It was why she chose this spot, her ability to see everything. Knowing that she wasn't going to get any more sleep Lexa left her camp, she was never much of an idle person, always on the move. She had been that way even as a little girl.

Her feet carried her to camp Jaha, why she wasn't entirely sure. She met to opposition when she moved to enter the camp, the guards opening the gate for her. As she had suspected she found that much of the camp was asleep and everything was abandoned. She knew were Clarke's dwellings were, as soon as camp Jaha was erected she was told were everything of note was in case it came to battle. Again she met no resistance, a thought that irked her given how many lessons she had given Clarke on the necessity of getting herself a proper guard. In her own camp it didn't matter who was coming to see her they would be stopped.

Clarke was sleeping soundly when walked into the Sky leader's room. It was a lot smaller than Lexa had thought it would be. Grounder camps always gave their leaders much more space, Clarke's bed was in the far corner of the room with the blonde girl curled under the blankets. Next to the bed was a desk, rather a small table that had books and knick knacks cluttering the space Lexa wondered how Clarke ever found anything.

It was the feeling of being watched that woke Clarke from her otherwise deep sleep, it was something that nagged at the edges of her consciousness until her eyes were open and she saw the shadow of a Grounder in her room. Faster than she'd thought possible she was awake and sitting up.

"If I wanted to harm you there is little you could do about that now Clarke." Lexa said leaning against the door that she had closed.

"Sorry for thinking I'd be safe in my own camp." Clarke grumbled rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she started to get out of bed. She slept in a pair of comfortable sweat pants that were so well loved they had a few holes in them, thankfully none were in embarrassing places.

"What are you doing?" Lexa asked as Clarke started to get dressed.

"Aren't you here to collect me for a meeting or something?" Clarke asked pausing.

"No."

"Oh, then why are you creeping inside my room?" Clarke asked sitting back down and barely stifling a yawn.

"I don't creep." Lexa insisted. Clarke rolled her eyes and silently waited for the real reason Lexa was there. Lexa didn't play coy, she didn't hide what she was thinking.

"Okay, then what are you doing here?"

"My mind is uneasy tonight." Lexa confessed. She was dressed in her warrior clothes, frankly because leaving her dwellings without it was out of the question. But now it was stifling, she felt like she may be suffocating.

"What's bothering you?" Clarke asked.

"I'm distracted." Lexa said looking at Clarke blaming her as if it was Clarke's fault. "There are plans to go over, there are things to do and I can't stop thinking about…" Lexa almost choked on the word. Making herself stop.

"About what?"

"Feelings are weakness Clarke."

"You're going to have to tell me who told you that. It's not true Lexa. Feelings can give you focus, they can give you strength when you don't think you have any left. I know that you are convinced that they are, but I think that you're just afraid. You're haunted by Costia, but you feel every death of every person under your command. And I think it scares you because you don't know what to do with the pain." Clarke pressed, attributing her sleep deprivation for her boldness.

"I am not afraid." Lexa wished that her voice had more conviction to it.

"No? Then finish your sentence. What can't you stop thinking about?" Clarke asked inching towards Lexa until they were almost touching.

"You." Lexa said her teeth clenching. Clarke took in a deep breath at the confession, her heart fluttering in her chest as she thought about it. Lexa might have been feeling the same thing that Clarke had been feeling.

"Me?"

"You challenge me, you make me question things about myself that I have never once questioned. I don't know how to feel, I've spent so long trying to forget I was even able to. But you changed that. And I don't know whether to thank you for it or hate you for it." Lexa finished daring to look up at Clarke and realize that the blonde wasn't looking at her with anything but openness, and even the slightest bit of a smile on her lips.

"I hope you don't hate me for it." Clarke whispered her hand coming up to the side of Lexa's face. The warmth of the hand sent a tremor down Lexa's spine and made her lean into it, adding pressure Clarke made Lexa turn to her. When her eyes met Lexa's green eyes she saw nothing but openness. Lexa was trying to let Clarke in, and knowing that Clarke couldn't help but press her lips against Lexa's.

It took a moment for the surprise to wear off and Clarke felt Lexa slowly start kissing her back. The faint pressure of the Commanders soft lips against her own. She'd expected that Lexa's lips might be hard, but they were soft and welcoming. Their kiss only lasted a few minutes, too short a time for either of them but the weight of what they had just done was more than just a kiss between two young women. They were leaders too. Their decisions had an effect on their people and both of them carried the weight of that responsibility.

Lexa watched Clarke bite her lower lip she wanted to kiss Clarke again. But when she leaned forward to do so Clarke stopped her.

"Wait, we need to talk about this." Clarke said.

"We can talk tomorrow." Lexa said with a grin as she went in for another kiss. Clarke pushed Lexa away again playfully.

"Then goodnight Commander." Lexa stood, smile still wide on her face and walked towards Clarke's door.

"Goodnight Clarke of the Sky People."

**So...thoughts?**

**AN: Originally I was going to draw out the will they/won't they for a little longer. But this was where the story took me as I wrote it. But don't be fooled, it won't be all smooth sailing for these two.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

“You’re up early.” Clarke turned from her view on the all to see Octavia coming up beside her. The young woman once an Arc’er and now fast becoming a Grounder knew Clarke well enough to know that something was bothering the blonde girl they had all unofficially elected to be their leader.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Clarke answered. She had kissed Lexa and Lexa had let her. Thinking about that only send Clarke’s mind spiraling further into confusion. She hadn’t thought about what it would mean to kiss Lexa, she had let her heart control her actions instead of her mind. And now she was left with the consequences with it.

“What’s on your mind?” Octavia asked. She had been worried about Bellamy pretty much none stop since he went into the Mountain and she bet that Clarke was worried about him too.

“It’s not important. How’s training?” Clarke asked noticing that Octavia had several more bruises since the last time she had seen the brunette.

“Indra likes to remind me of how little I know at every occasion. You can talk to me Clarke. Octavia pressed. She owed a lot to Clarke. When she had made her intentions clear that she wanted to go to the Grounder camp and learn from their ways, a lot of the people from the Ark had told her that she was a traitor. Some of them even treated her the same way that the Grounders treated Lincoln. But Clarke had stood up for her, supported her decision at every turn.

“I kissed Lexa.” Clarke confessed. Octavia’s eyes went wide as she processed what Clarke had just said to her.

“You kissed the Commander?” Octavia almost choked on her surprise and laughter as she tried to picture how that interaction must have gone.

“It sort of just happened.” Clarke said.

“What? You were talking and suddenly you fell and your lips landed on hers? Kisses don’t accidentally happen.” Octavia asked incredulously. She knew that there was a tension between Clarke and Lexa, she just didn’t think that either of them had the guts to act upon it.

“We were talking. And I don’t know, it just happened.”

“And then what?”

“I stopped it. And I told her that we would talk about it later. When I could figure out what it was that this all meant.” Clarke had no idea what Lexa thought about what had happened. The smile on Lexa’s face when she was leaving was promising that maybe she felt the same.

“But you didn’t want to stop it did you?” Octavia asked with a slight wiggle of her eyebrow. Clarke felt her face blush at Octavia’s implication. It was true. She hadn’t want to stop. But she had because her mind was too stubborn to shut up and listen to her heart.

“But I had to. We’re about to go to war, we have to focus on that more than anything right now. It shouldn’t have happened.” Clarke didn’t think Octavia would understand, Hell Clarke barely understood it. The part of her that was still an 18 year old girl wanted to say screw the rules and go and kiss Lexa senseless. But she wasn’t like Octavia and Lincoln, who somehow made their pairing work because they weren’t the leaders of their people. No one was looking at the two of them and expecting them to put aside their own personal wishes and desires for the betterment of their people.

“What do you wanna do?” Octavia asked seriously. She could tell how much this was weighing on Clarke. She had seen Clarke conflicted before but usually it was confliction over what she was going to do as far as battle or survival. This was a whole different kind of conflict that was completely foreign to Clarke.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. You like her. I think you should go for it. You deserve to be happy Clarke.”

“That doesn’t mean that we can just do whatever we want.”

“Maybe it’s what our people need. A proper union between Sky People and Grounder.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It was just a kiss.”

Clarke knew the words she spoke were false but thankfully Octavia didn’t push it. Instead she left the blonde to her thoughts and continued with her patrol. It wasn’t just a kiss, and calling it that was doing it a disservice. The kiss was Lexa’s way of allowing Clarke to see inside the wall she erected around herself. The kiss had been brief, disappointingly so. But it had spoken volumes. Clarke looked back at the Grounder Camp she would be stupid to think that there wasn’t something between her and Lexa, and now that thy had shared a kiss Clarke didn’t think it was possible for her to ever forget it. But their alliance was still unsteady and just waiting for something to shatter it. Clarke didn’t want this to be the reason for that. She couldn’t let this be the reason the alliance was in jeopardy. And neither she, nor Lexa could afford to be distracted.

< >

Lexa watched Clarke throughout the meeting, these meetings were growing more and more tedious. The product of having too much time to overthink strategy. They had a solid plan and now they only needed to stick to it. Once Bellamy disabled the acid fog they would attack.

“I want every warrior ready to attack at any moment, train them hard but rest them well.” Lexa said dismissing her generals. As she expected Clarke lingered behind, they were going to have their conversation. Lexa never understood Clarke’s affinity for talk, she wanted to talk about everything. She wanted to discuss things until they were picked apart and every detail was known.

The kiss hadn’t been a surprise to Lexa. She had been fighting what she felt for Clarke since the moment the met. She hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that she had feelings for the blonde Sky Commander. She didn’t want to open herself up to that hurt again, not when they were on the brink of war. But Clarke was unlike anyone that Lexa had ever known, with any of her own people if Lexa refused to talk about her feelings that would be the end of that discussion and she would not be pressed again. But with Clarke, Clarke pushed, she challenged Lexa and she made Lexa confront things about herself that she didn’t want to confront.

“I’m sorry about last night.” Clarke said after several minutes of suffocating silence. Lexa kept her face stoic, unreadable and infuriating.

“You regret that it happened?” Lexa asked.

“What? No! I don’t regret what happened. Just, how it happened.” Clarke explained.

“Explain.” Clarke circled around the planning table and walked towards Lexa. Lexa was seated on her throne, regal and untouchable. Her guard back up and Clarke knew that she was the reason for that.

“We’re about to embark in a war against the Mountain. Our people are just now starting to learn to live together and work together. I can’t let what I want endanger that.” Clarke said wishing that Lexa would understand that this wasn’t a rejection. She had worked so hard to get Lexa to open up to her, and she hoped that this wouldn’t cause Lexa to retract further into her emotionless shell.

“Then why did you do it? Some kind of game?” Lexa demanded trying to ignore the ache that began to spread out through her heart at Clarke’s words. Even if she knew that Clarke was right, she didn’t want Clarke to be right. She wanted to feel what it felt like to sit with Clarke that night, free and light hearted.

“No. I wanted it. Lexa I have feelings for you. I don’t know what that means, but they are there. And I want to explore them. But right now, now we need to focus on this war. And getting our people back.” Clarke was surprised when she saw Lexa chuckle and shake her head.

“How the tables have turned. You frustrate me Clarke of the Sky People. All this I knew before, feelings are weakness and they lead to distraction. But you pressed me, you convinced me that they were something worth having. And now that you have finally broken me you agree with me?” Lexa demanded angrily, standing up in frustration and storming across the room far away from Clarke and throwing the nearest thing that she could reach and watching it smash against the wall. The sudden sound made Clarke jump.

“Lexa.”

“You’ve made your decision Clarke and I accept it. You may go.”

“Lexa.”

“Get out.” Lexa growled, Clarke hesitated for another moment before leaving. When she got outside Lexa’s tent she heard more things crashing around inside and her eyes closed tightly. Tears burning behind her eye lids threatening to fall. She’d really screwed up.

< >

Lexa watched her warriors training, they were all hungry for battle as was she. That was the best way she knew of that could help ache that had taken root in the pit of her stomach that was spreading like a poison. She was trying to put her walls back up, be the cold Commander that Clarke had accused her of being and now she seemed unable to. Clarke had broken her. And Lexa was disgusted with herself because of it.

“Heda?” Indra asked seeing Lexa watch with unseeing eyes. She had never seen Lexa look so troubled before a battle. Lexa had always had a razor focus and now she was distracted.

“What is it Indra?” Lexa asked turning her attention to her General.

“Something troubles you.” Indra offered quietly. She knew that challenging the Commander was unforgivable but she was concerned.

“I grow wary of waiting.”

“We all do.”

“I am going for a hunt.” Lexa said.

“That is not wise Commander. At least do not go alone.”

“Then come with me.” Lexa pushed out of her chair and grabbed her sword. Indra watched the young woman heading towards the trees. Hunting would give Lexa a chance to clear her head and be productive. Her people would eat well and she would be able to ease some of the battle lust she had. Even if she knew that wasn’t the only thing that caused her discontent.

The trees were like home to Lexa, she knew them as well as she knew her own reflection. She knew every tree, every bush and trail, she even knew the trails that weren’t supposed to be known. She and Indra worked so well together as hunters, moving silently. And then they spotted their query, it was a deer, a Stag with wide antlers. With the nod Lexa threw her dagger and it struck the deer in the neck. The beast fell to the ground with a whine. Indra gave Lexa the kill and with the utmost respect Lexa ended its suffering.

“A good omen.” Indra said with a smile.

“Our warriors will eat well tonight.”

< >

It was a feast unlike any that Clarke or the Sky People had seen, though not officially invited all were welcome around the roaring fires and welcome to eat their fill. There was an odd energy around the camp, an electricity that seemed to affect them all, the promise of battle was intoxicating to the Grounders and for the first time the Sky People saw what it was like to live like the warriors. For so long they had lived every moment in fear that they didn’t take the time to celebrate the moments that they had. They rejoiced, they spent every moment they could living their lives to the fullest because it could soon be the last.

“So they spend the days before the attack partying like crazy people?” Raven asked watching a group of Grounders dance to the drums that were being played.

“They’re enjoying the moment. From the stories I’ve heard the party can get pretty wild.” Octavia said with a laugh.

“But why do it? They could be planning. Or training.” Abby asked turning away from the display.

“Good for morale. And if you think about it what better way to show the enemy that we are not afraid than throwing a party. The Commander is brilliant for endorsing it.” Lincoln explaining gathering that the Ark dwellers didn’t understand.

Clarke hadn’t taken her eyes off of Lexa the entire night, she could have been sitting with Lexa, privy to the inner workings of the Commander’s mind. But she’s screwed it all up and now Lexa sat with Indra, impassively watching her people. She wasn’t wearing her war paint but she might as well have been.

“The Commander looks like she has had better days.” Marcus commented, his words were targeted at Clarke knowing that she usually had the inside track to what Lexa was thinking.

“She has a lot of her mind I’m sure.” Clarke answered.

“Something happen we should know about?” Abby asked noting that Clarke was off. Clarke was quieter than normal, and she looked like she kept the weight of the world on her shoulders. A fact that, whether they liked it or not was truer than they wanted it to be.

“The Commander and I had a difference of opinion. I’m sure it’ll clear up soon.”

Lexa could feel Clarke’s stare as if it were tangible. She was bitter, and she knew that she was being immature. Clarke had been right. They weren’t thinking with their heads and she was allowing the weakness of her heart to distract her from what was important. She should be thanking Clarke for pointing out to her the potential of weakness that she was risking.

“Heda.” Indra said in a low voice. Lexa tilted her head towards Indra. Her General nodded towards the crowd, as soon as she did Lexa knew what Indra was suggesting. There were plenty among the crowd of dancers who would join her in her bed. A distraction.

“No.” Lexa stated. She didn’t want anyone else that was the problem. Grounders were not ashamed of pleasure and taking it when they wanted it. Even after Costia’s death Lexa knew that.

“It will provide the momentary distraction and it will clear your head.” Indra insisted.

“I am not distracted.”

“Heda, there is no shame in it.”

“I will allow myself the distraction when we have won this war. Until then, I wish to be alone. No one enters.” Lexa ordered standing and leaving. She was quick about it, if she lingered then she would draw attention. But her departure wasn’t noticed by anyone other than Clarke.

< >

The flare lit up the early morning air with the intensity of the sun, the suddenness of the light even woke Lexa from the light sleep she had fallen into. The whispers and the talk had begun and already people were gathering to look at the signal in the sky. Bellamy had done it. The defenses of the Mountain were down. The time for war had come.

“Heda! The signal!” Shouts erupted from warriors. Lexa felt their gazes look to her, waiting for her to give the order.

“Sound the horn, and prepare to march.” Lexa ordered.

The organized chaos that came after showed the proper war machine that was the Grounder army, to see a thousand warriors organize and be ready to march within an hour when it took the sky People hours just to decide what to do. Lexa felt her heart race, her stomach twist in anticipation for the battle that was to come. When she arrived at the gates of Camp Jaha to gather the Sky People army Lexa caught sight of Clarke and she felt a swell of pride. The blonde dressed for battle her gun gripped in her hand already.

“Your faith in your friend is well placed.” Lexa said. Clarke was nervous, she was afraid, all of the preparation for the battle that was to come had not prepared her for what it would feel like to have it actually be happening. But seeing Lexa, being near her lessened that fear. It gave Clarke the confidence that they might make it out of the battle alive.

Clarke looked behind her at her mother, Abby had the look of every mother that had sent their child to war. The two women embraced. They had their differences and Clarke wasn’t even sure that they could repair the damage that had happened to their relationship but Clarke wasn’t going to march into battle without giving her mother one final hug.

“You take care of her.” Abby said over Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke looked behind her and found that Abby was looking at Lexa.

“May we meet again.” Clarke told her mom before stepping away and joining the rest of the army as they marched.

They marched in wave after wave of soldiers, Grounder and Sky People walking together as one fighting unit. Their plan was simple, during the siege the Sky People would use their guns to fight off the outer defenses of the Mountain, and then the Grounder’s would use their numbers to overwhelm those inside the compound. Lexa knew that there would be many lives lost among their people. No matter how skilled her warriors were, they were not bullet proof.

It was a long march up the mountain to the door, the door that had withstood a nuclear apocalypse and managed to stay standing. Lexa was going to enjoy watching those doors come down. Everyone knew their role, what they needed to do. After that the only thing that mattered was killing as many of the Mountain Men as possible.

It didn’t take them long to breach the walls and then the bullets started to fly, the door opened and they were met with volley after volley of bullets. But they had been expecting that. With a loud command in trigedasleng all the Grounders took cover behind the trees. Clarke repeated that command for her own people. When the Mountain men realized that their bullets were being wasted they stopped firing. And that was when Lexa attacked. Pulling her sword from its sheath she moved as quickly as death towards the small group of men that had ventured outside the protection of the tunnel. Her sword moved quickly and with a precision Clarke had never seen before cutting them down as if they were nothing.

She was fearless. In that moment, as she watched Lexa advance with her warriors Clarke understood why Lexa was such a good leader. Lexa never hesitated, she never let one bit of fear stop her from marching forward with her people. Not just with them, but in front of them and leading them into battle. Exposing herself to the most harm.

Clarke followed with the second wave. The plan had her and Lexa splitting up, Clarke and her people would head to the control room to try and cut the power to open the doors. Lexa and her people would eliminate as many Mountain Men as they could. Clarke had fought that plan adamantly, mainly because she didn’t know if she could go through the whole of the battle not knowing if Lexa was alright or not. But Lexa had told her not to worry, it would be Lexa’s job to free her people and Clarke’s from their cages.

People die by the dozens as bullets fly and swords slashes. It was hard to focus on that fact for very long for Clarke and with no small amount of shame she was able to block that out from her mind. She had a job to do and if they didn’t get the doors open then they wouldn’t win the fight. The control room was just where she thought it was, but the door was sealed and to get into it they would be sitting ducks for the Mountain Men Guard and their raining bullets.

“We need that door open.” Clarke ordered watching as the Grounders started ramming the door with their make shift battering rams. She wasn’t sure how effective they would be on the reinforced steel door but she knew better than to doubt them. So, until they could find a way to breach the door she would lay cover fire.

Lexa ducked behind a corner while gunfire pelted the wall, she hated waiting but she knew not to march her warriors out into the gunfire. Their armor was thick but it wasn’t thick enough.

“Our people are through that door.”

“We need the Sky People to open the door.” Indra said.

“We will buy them time.” Lexa said looking past Indra around corner. Indra recognized the look in her Commander’s eyes, the look of someone willing to make a great sacrifice. “I want every Mountain Men dead.”

“It will be done.”

As if on cue there was a large click that seemed to echo in the entire compound, the sound of locks unlocking and the doors opened. Clarke had done it. When Lexa walked into the room where her warriors were kept she saw them all kept in cages like animals, starving and beaten and it made her blood boil.

“Heda! Heda!” The cheering started and fighting against their cages at the very sight of her.

“Free them.”

Lexa had told Clarke that once the fighting had started no matter how prepared they were plans get forgotten. The anger at seeing what the Mountain Men had done to her people made Lexa want to find the man responsible and make him pay for the death he had caused. She was supposed to go regroup with Clarke and collect the rest of their warriors before conducting the second strike. She couldn’t wait for that.

“Octavia of the Sky People.” Lexa said drawing the attention of the younger girl. She had fought well and her sword was dripping with the blood of the Mountain Men.

“Heda.”

“These men have killed your friends, will you come with me and make sure that their leader meets our justice?” Lexa asked seeing Octavia’s eyes light up at the idea.

“It would be my pleasure.”

They searched room by room, knowing that Cage Wallace was hiding somewhere in the walls of the mountain, hiding like the coward that he was. Every Mountain Man they found that held a gun was killed without mercy, they had agreed that for the time being the children would be spared until they could figure out what to do with them. Taking prisoners was not something that the Grounders were used to. But during times of war even children could do horrible things. But it was something that Clarke had made her promise and for the time being Lexa was inclined to allow it.

It took the better part of the day to completely take the Mountain, but Lexa wasn’t satisfied. They had yet to find Cage, or his father. And she wasn’t done hunting. She owed it to her people. There were still pockets of resistance hiding out in rooms. When she found them she killed them in as brutal a way as they deserved.

“They are collecting as many of the Reapers as they can to heal them. Our people are being looked after.” Indra reported, she could see the look of murder still in Lexa’s eyes. Lexa wasn’t done fighting.

“No one rests until we find the leader responsible for the death of our people.”

< >

“Clarke!” Clarke looked up from the wounded she was treating when she heard Bellamy’s voice echo into the woods. She ran to him, forgetting the scrapes and the cuts she had and she threw her arms around her joy numbing every bit of pain she had at seeing her friend alive and well. They’d done it, they had triumphed over the Mountain Men with minimal casualties.

“I’m so glad you are okay.” Clarke said into his shoulder feeling the way that his arms tightened around her.

“Thought you could get rid of me huh?”

“Knew I couldn’t be so lucky.” The two parted but Bellamy’s kept his arms around her. Clarke found the intimacy of the closeness uncomfortable. Looking around for Lexa, in the sea of grounders she didn’t find Lexa or Octavia, or Indra. Worry crept through Clarke’s mind, surely they would have told her if Lexa had fallen.

“Where is Lexa?” Clarke asked moving away from Bellamy.

“I’m sure that she can take care of herself.”

“And Octavia? She’s with Lexa.” Clarke watched the worry spread to Bellamy’s face too, he’d been way from Octavia for such a long time. He had worried about her every day he had been gone, knowing that she had been in the fight was enough to make his worry triple. He took off with Clarke back into the mountain.

The Mountain seemed so empty now that all the Mountain Men were dead, the silence was almost deafening. Most of the Sky People had left the mountain, except for those who stayed behind in the control room. There would be time to scavenge what they could use later, but for now they needed to make sure that the threat was totally neutralized.

Lexa found Cage by luck. They had been smart to hide in the abandoned passageways and rooms in the depths of the mountain that most people had forgotten about. Cage had with him his finest warriors and despite his differences with his father he had forced his father to come with him to be protected. But in their arrogance they had let themselves be heard.

Gripping her sword Lexa led the other two women into the room knowing very well that they were outnumbered and they would probably not emerge from the room. But none of them hesitated, even Octavia who was not bred into war like Lexa and Indra did not hesitate. She fought just as passionately as the older women. Making sure that each of her strikes found purchase in a Mountain Man and she took the lives of the men who had killed her friends and tortured the Grounders. The fighting seemed to go so quickly, as they fought it was a blur of motion and sound, pained screams and sounds of last breaths being taken.

“So you’re the Commander of the outsiders?” Cage asked hiding his fear behind his arrogance. Lexa straightened, ignoring the sting from one of the bullet wounds she had received. She’d barely felt the way the bullets had hurt when they’d hit her. There would be time for pain later.

“You have murdered my people.” Lexa said lifting her sword, feeling its weight in her hand like she never had before. It dripped red with blood.

“I’m sure we can work out some kind of deal.” Cage suggested sensing his power slipping and the final moments of his life upon him.

“It is our tradition to take murderers, tie them to a try and let every single warrior take the blood they are owed. However, I think they will forgive me for killing you myself.” Lexa dropped her sword, she wouldn’t need it for this. Indra and Octavia watched as Lexa advanced on the former president. He tried to swing at her, but he wasn’t trained for battle. He was used to hiding behind soldiers and hiding behind muzzles of guns. She brought him to his knees with only a few hits. Lexa watched the life drain from his eyes, felt it leave him under the tight grip of her hands on his windpipe. Looking up from Cage’s body, still held in her grip to the old man who had started all of this Lexa never took her eyes off of him when she snapped Cage’s neck.

“I am ready to die.” Dante said holding his head up high.

“And so you shall. But your fate will not be as quick as your sons. I will give you to my people for judgment.” Lexa said nodding for Indra to take the old man.

“Commander you’re bleeding.” Octavia said. Lexa looked down and saw that blood fell from many wounds down her body. Her body suddenly grew heavy, and he knees gave out falling heavily against Octavia her vision blurred and the last thing she was aware of was Octavia running to get help.

 

So...thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I'm a little late. I had initially planned to to update every Wednesday. This chapter is a little angsty, read my note at the end for an explanation as to why.**

Chapter Four

When Lexa was a little girl, her father used to tell her stories of the Mountain Men. How they came down and steal little girls that didn’t listen to their parents and didn’t do their chores. He would come towards her, his hands as if they were claws and he would sweep her up into his arms and tickle her until she pled with him to stop. But then she was called to lead her people and those stories were replaced with great tales of how she would conquer the Mountain and unite her people.

Since that day, Lexa had wondered what the inside of the Mountain looked like. What the dwellings of these monsters must look like. Lexa always knew deep down that conquering the mountain would likely be the death of her. Death didn’t scare Lexa. She had been preparing for it her whole life. But to die under the harsh fluorescent lights in the claustrophobic hallways of the compound, she feared her spirit would not be able to find its way to the next leader.

“Indra. Help me stand.” Lexa requested tasting the familiar tang of copper at the back of her throat causing a tickle that made her cough. The splattering of blood against the grey concrete joined with the other pools of blood that collected beneath her.

“No Heda. You must save your strength until Octavia returns with help.” Indra insisted, her hand pressing against the most serious of Lexa’s wounds. One of the bullets had struck Lexa in the torso and she bled freely.

“I do not wish to die in this place.” Lexa did not plead, she couldn’t remember the last time she didn’t flat out order someone to do as she commanded. But this time, there was a softness in her eyes and the softness with which she spoke seemed more like a request than an order.

“Yes Heda.” Indra acquiesced.

Lexa bit back any and all sounds of pain that threatened to spill from her lips as Indra helped her to her feet. The older warrior watched the younger woman battle against the pain and her respect for her Commander inflated all the more for it. She was a hardened warrior, she had dealt death and seen it in all its battle born glory. But the idea of Lexa dying right there, it was unacceptable.

“You shed tears Indra.” Lexa said noticing the hint of moisture pooling around Indra’s eyes.

“You will not die here today. Your fight is not over.” Indra heard footsteps coming towards them quickly. There were no mountain men left which meant that whoever was coming must be a friend.

“Indra!” Octavia’s voice allowed for the faintest bit of hope to run through Lexa.

“Come down here now! Heda is wounded.” Indra barked. Lexa leaned against the wall, they had only made it a few yards but she felt like they had been walking for miles. Her body was growing heavy, and her eyes were drooping. And she was so cold.

Octavia was the first to round the corner, followed closely by Clarke and then Bellamy. Lexa’s gaze fell o Clarke first, but the she mustered every ounce of strength she had to stand tall. The strain of it forced more blood from her mouth in a choked cough. She didn’t care though, she refused to look weak in front of Bellamy.

“We have our ways Indra. Commanders die under the trees.” Lexa murmured as Clarke exchanged positions with Indra. Now her hand on Lexa’s wound.

“What did I tell you about your spirit?” Clarke asked easing Lexa away from the wall. They needed to get to the medical bay. The one at Camp Jaha was too far away, Lexa would never make it there before bleeding out. They would need to go to the one inside the mountain, and Clarke knew that Lexa would not be happy about that.

“It stays where it is.” Lexa answered.

“So stop being noble. Fight.” Clarke commanded. Lexa nodded, now more determined to remain alive. Clarke’s presence giving her strength.

By some miracle, they made it to the hospital wing before Lexa’s strength left her completely. Barely conscious and leaning on Clarke and Indra almost entirely. She would not let Bellamy come close to her, though he had offered to carry her to help her conserve strength. Lexa had muttered various things in Trigedasleng. All of which, Clarke was sure were insults and curse words whenever Bellamy attempted to help.

Clarke helped Lexa onto one of the beds, removing the Commander’s armor piece by piece to see where the blood was coming from. Underneath Lexa’s armor and once her corset was undone Clarke saw the black tank top that Lexa wore soaked through with blood. Clarke had seen bullet wounds before, but this one was different.

“You look scared.” Lexa whispered her hand covering Clarke’s.

“I’m not going to let you die.”

“I have had worse wounds.” The lie came easily to Lexa. She would say anything to take the worried look from Clarke’s face.

“The bullet is still inside. I have to take it out.” Clarke said in a sorrow filled tone. Lexa nodded, her hand gripping the mattress below her. She would not let Clarke see her weak.

“Do what you must.”

Lexa’s vision blurred as pain tore through her body when Clarke dug into her flesh for the bullet. She remained silent, though her knuckle’s turned white with the force of her grip. The Grounder’s that had begun to gather in the small room, and even out into the hall, all watched on as their Commander endured the pain. Word had spread quickly about what Lexa had done. How she had killed Cage Wallace with her bare hands and delivered Dante Wallace for justice.

The clanking sound of the bullet dropping onto the metal tray meant that Lexa could breathe again. Exhaling slowly, letting the pain wash away with her breath Lexa turned to Clarke. The Sky Princess who had seen so much death, had to become so hard. Lex knew in that moment that she would do whatever it took for Clarke to never need to experience these horrors again. Clarke was making her weak, of that Lexa was positive and yet the idea wasn’t so disagreeable now.

“I don’t think it hit any organs.” Clarke said more to herself than to Lexa. Someone had spent word to Camp Jaha, and before Lexa knew it Abby had appeared by Clarke’s side. The older woman looked over what her daughter had done. Proud in her daughter’s training. She went to take over, something that Clarke was happily willing to do. In the time she had spent on the ground, Clarke had stitched up many of her friends and been able to handle it. But the idea that her hands were covered in Lexa’s blood, for the second time in as many weeks was enough to make her sick.

“No.” Lexa said pushing Abby’s hands away. She didn’t trust Abby, the woman had done little to prove that she was worthy of Lexa’s trust.

“I need to treat your other wounds.” Abby insisted.

“Clarke can do it.”

“Lexa, my mom’s better than I am at healing this sort of stuff.” Clarke argued.

“You do it.” Lexa stated. Clarke looked down into stubborn green eyes, seeing them barely masking the pain that Lexa felt. Lexa would let herself die before letting someone she didn’t trust touch her. Clarke nodded silently changing places with Abby. Abby talked Clarke through it, every step, telling Clarke what she needed to do in order to stitch up Lexa’s injuries.

“Clarke.” Lexa mumbled, her words slurring as she fought to stay conscious.

“She needs blood.” Abby said.

“No.” Lexa protested, Clarke could hear the determination in Lexa’s voice. She had heard the same thing in Anya’s voice when Clarke had been trying to help Tris.

“Out! All of you.” Clarke ordered turning to the crowded room. She hadn’t known how many people had come until then. No one moved, though they respected her, Clarke was not their commander. Lexa nodded her agreement of Clarke’s command, and slowly the room emptied of the countless Grounders. The last to leave was Indra, the warrior reluctant to leave her Commander, but she would not disobey an order.

Clarke rummaged through cabinets until she found what she was looking for and returned with a clear tube no longer than a foot. She unwrapped it revealing each end had a needle.

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked.

“You need blood. You’ve lost too much, your heart can’t keep up.” Clarke explained shrugging off her jacket.

“What are _you_ doing?” Lexa clarified.

“Giving you some of mine.” Clarke answered. Lexa stared at Clarke for several moments, the idea was insane and there were a dozen arguments against the idea.

“Clarke…”

“No. No lectures. I’m doing this so that you’ll be alive later to lecture me.” Clarke tied the tourniquet around Lexa’s arm and then mirrored the motion with her own arm. Both women watched as the blood traveled from Clarke into Lexa. Clarke didn’t need to give Lexa much, just enough to take the strain off her heart.

“How did you know that would work?”

“I have a universal blood type. It means I can donate blood to anyone.”

“Clarke, this was not smart.” Lexa signed close to letting the exhaustion take over.

“Rest now.”

“You are a part of me now.” Lexa whispered, her gaze so intense that Clarke almost looked away. But she forced herself to keep her eyes in Lexa, almost as if she had to prove to Lexa that she wouldn’t back down.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you die.” Clarke offered trying to downplay what she had just done. She was exhausted. And the chair next to Lexa’s bed called to Clarke’s aching body like a siren. There were things to do, they may have won the battle but they still had so much rebuilding to do.

Nearly collapsing into the chair Clarke watched Lexa succumb to exhaustion and her eyes closed. Clarke didn’t remember falling asleep, but when she woke up she was hunched over the side of Lexa’s bed with her head using Lexa’s arm as a pillow. Lifting her head she felt her shoulders and neck scream in discomfort.

“There are more comfortable places to sleep.” Lexa’s voice was gruff, thick with sleep. Hiding her blush Clarke looked over Lexa’s bandages. It needed to be changed out. Blood had seeped through the gauze. Standing slowly, Clarke felt the tinging numbness of her sleeping leg and tried to mask the limp that had temporarily developed. “Are you injured?” Lexa asked sitting up quickly, suffering for it instantly as the stitches in her stomach strained and tore.

“No. It’s just a leg cramp.” Clarke said pushing Lexa back down when she saw Lexa wince. Seeing the brunette’s wince Clarke knew that Lexa must be in agony in order for her to actually let it show.

“You are sure?” Lexa demanded looking Clarke over. The blonde had cleaned up as best she could with a wash cloth. But she still looked like the Hell she had been through.

“I’m fine. Your army protected me.” Clarke promised. Already the tingling was fading and when she arrived back at Lexa’s bedside Clarke started to remove Lexa’s bandage. Lexa didn’t speak, watching Clarke remove the bandage. The wound was still angry red, and the stitches seemed an odd contrast to Lexa’s skin. The wound from just a few weeks earlier had just begun to scar over.

Lexa watched Clarke as she stared. Seeming to be lost in thought while she cleaned the wounds. The Sky People were much more fragile, she had seen Sky People become debilitated by wounds Grounder’s equated as paper cuts. Lexa had learned how to handle pain at a young age, before being eligible to be chosen as a second Grounder children were put through a series of tests and one of them was how they handled themselves when exposed to inhumane amounts of pain. Lexa had excelled at that test. Clarke was timid, her touches soft and barely there against her skin like she was afraid to hurt Lexa further.

“I will not break Clarke.” Lexa offered.

“You should be okay. I’m sure you won’t listen to me, but you need to rest.”

“I will not rest in this place. Not on this bed that has probably been the death bed of my people and yours. So as soon as you promise that I will not die if I stand up and walk I will be out of this bed. And we will both honor our dead and then we will celebrate those who are still alive.” Lexa promised.

“You need a day. Allow the flesh to heal. And even then, you shouldn’t walk or ride a horse.”

“You are implying that I let someone carry me? I would rather die first.”

“Lexa, for God sake please just allow yourself to be taken care of for once. Your people won’t judge you for it.” Clarke argued. She would never understand Lexa’s stubbornness. Lexa couldn’t be so stupid to think that she should put her own safety at risk for pride’s sake.

“That is not our ways. I thought that you would understand that by now.”

“Just because I know it, doesn’t mean that I understand it.”

Lexa knew that Clarke would find her upbringing barbaric, she had heard Clarke call her people savages. It had been early in their alliance and Lexa had needed to fight the urge to kill Clarke on the spot for the insult. But having spent time around Clarke and the other Sky People, she had learned that life in space had been far from the utopia that the Sky people claimed.

“One day maybe I’ll explain it to you.” Clarke tried to hide her surprise, she never thought that Lexa would open up to her. Lexa had the uncanny ability to read Clarke better than anyone, even people who had known her all her life. And Clarke cold do the same with Lexa, see through the armor and the shield that Lexa had erected around herself.

“I’ll hold you to that. All I ask is one day, just stay here for one day and we’ll figure out how to get you back to camp. Trust me, I don’t want you here anymore than you do.”

“I do trust you Clarke.” Lexa said before closing her eyes, determined to rest and make the time go by quicker.

< >

They had won.

And the Mountain crumbled. It seemed so surreal that it had actually happened. Everything they had worked for had come to fruition and now all that was left was to pick up the pieces. They had taken the prisoners back to camp Jaha for treatment. And Dante had been taken to the Grounder camp where he would be held until he was brought to justice. Clarke walked through the joint camps, many of the Sky People had chosen to spend their time at the Grounder camp to join into the celebration. Even though it hadn’t officially begun yet. Clarke heard the way that the warriors spoke of their Commander. They spoke of her as if she were Achilles or Hercules, many chanted her name in a fit of unrestrained, battle filled joy. Though Clarke would never understand how she did it Lexa walked out of the Mountain and back to her camp under her own strength even though Clarke knew that it must have hurt to breathe. Lexa didn’t allow any of her pain to show until she was behind the walls of her tent away from the eyes of her warriors.

“You have seen to it that I will live Clarke of the Sky People. You may return to your camp.” Lexa dismissed as she eased herself down onto her throne. It was comfortable for her there, the seat of her power. Clarke stood stunned for a minute, she was surprised at Lexa’s sudden anger. This was beyond stubbornness, Lexa was angry.

“Do you want me to go?” Clarke asked feeling a lump form in her throat. Despite their differences Lexa had never told Clarke to go. She always allowed Clarke a certain amount of leniency. And then Clarke had kissed Lexa and ruined that.

“Yes.” Lexa couldn’t meet Clarke’s eyes. But from her downcast gaze she saw Clarke stand silently, the debate was clear on the blonde’s face. Wondering if this was a battle that she wished to fight.

“Make sure that you keep your bandages dry and that you change them once a day.” Clarke instructed dropping her medical supplies bag on the floor where she stood. And then she left. Leaving Lexa to her solitude and her pain.

Clarke emerged from the commander’s tent in a huff, looking around she spotted several of her friends gathered around a large fire. Octavia sat next to Bellamy, the joy Clarke saw on the brunette’s face at having her brother back was obvious. Jasper and Monty sat with their friends with a lightness to them that had been lost for so long inside the mountain. She made her way to them. Desperate to know that they had not truly become as somber as they had been forced to become in the last few months. The war was over now.

“Have a seat Princess.” Bellamy patted the spot next to him and watched Clarke sit. She looked annoyed and having watched her come from the Commander’s tent Bellamy could only imagine what Lexa had done now.

“How’s the commander?” Octavia asked.

“Stubborn and overly proud.” Clarke said.

“Careful, with the way the Grounders are talking about Lexa now insulting her might not be so well received.” Bellamy cautioned playfully. He didn’t really think that Lexa would let any harm come to Clarke even if she was speaking insults.

“I can’t help it if it’s true. She won’t take care of herself. She was shot in the stomach only days ago, she was still healing from the injury she got at Tondc.” Clarke offered.

“Clarke you don’t understand how she was raised.” Lincoln whispered. There were only stories of what happened to the Commander, the tests that she went through just to be considered a warrior was what everyone went through as a rite of passage. But the Commander, to know that she was truly chosen went through much more thorough tests by the elders of the clan.

“Then tell me.”

“It is not my story to tell.”

“Well someone has to because she sure as Hell won’t.”

“I am sorry Clarke, but it is forbidden to discuss the Commander’s past.” There was something in the tone Lincoln used, how his voice got lower so that Clarke needed to lean forward to hear it.

“I’ll get her to tell me eventually.”

“I have no doubt.”

Lexa looked through the small gap in her tent, her gaze finding Clarke as if drawn there like a moth to a flame. She saw how closely Clarke sat to Bellamy and her blood boiled. She could have kept Clarke with her. Clarke had been prepared to stay but she had sent the blonde away because of pride. Even though Clarke’s absence was the last thing that she wanted Lexa had still decided that it was best to keep Clarke at a distance. She was not allowed weaknesses. She needed to keep remembering that and that knowledge sickened her. In all the years she had been commander she had never needed to remind herself that she was to be without weakness. Not until Clarke.

“Heda.” Indra interrupted Lexa’s thoughts and Lexa abandoned her vigil and gave her attention to her general.

“I want her followed. A guard with her always.” Lexa said.

“There are no more mountain men.”

“But there are Grounders who wish her harm. A guard with her always.” Lexa repeated. Indra nodded.

“Will you return to the capital after the celebration?”

Lexa understood Indra’s question and all of the subtext that was not spoken. The capital was where Lexa ruled from during peace time. Tondc and the surrounding area was Indra’s territory as it was Anya’s before that.

“I will.”

“Will you take her with you?”

“She will not come.”

“She cares for you.” Indra said, she softened to the idea of Clarke when she saw how much Clarke seemed to care when Lexa was injured. Clarke made her uncomfortable, the influence that Clarke had on Lexa was obvious. But Indra didn’t see it as weakness. Indra saw it as strength. It had taken the battle, seeing Clarke’s personal strength for Indra to realize that what she had to offer the Commander was something that Lexa had never had before. An equal.

“In a few weeks’ time I will be back in Polis. And I can forget about Clarke kom Skaikru.”

**A/** N: **I really wanted to emphasize the fight that Lexa is having with herself about what she feels for Clarke and the battle between her hear and her head. It's obvious she cares about Clarke but now she just needs to know how to deal with it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry this one took me so long. I had a lot of trouble with this chapter, not entirely sure why. Also, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has left a kudos or a review. Really, they brighten my day. So thanks so much to everyone :-) Enjoy.  
**

Chapter Five

In the end, Dante Wallace died before Lexa's sword even came near him. No one really expected that he would endure the full extent of Grounder justice, but Lexa found that she was disappointed that he succumbed to his injuries so quickly. But, her people were satisfied and they had been given the justice that they deserved. The Grounder's allowed the Sky People to collect the bodies of their people, a significantly lower number that that of the Grounder dead, and return them to Camp Jaha for burial. Clarke went with them, though she would have rather stayed in at the war camp that had been set up nearer to the mountain.

More and more, it seemed that Clarke found herself more at home with the Grounders and less so with her own people. She and her mother would never see eye to eye, her mother still thought of her as a child who couldn't lead. Abby discounted everything that she and the other 100 had done prior to the Ark landing on Earth. They were the adults therefore they had the right to rule, and by default knew what was best for their people. It wasn't like that in the Grounder camp, there they valued people based on their merit not their age. Clarke had proven herself as a good leader for her people and so she should be treated as such.

Still, being back at Camp Jaha allowed her to get reacquainted with the others that had been taken into the mountain. Monty and Jasper, though Jasper was eager to return to the Mountain to check on Maya. It was nice having them back. And Bellamy, now Clarke didn't feel so alone when it came to defying the council.

The problem was, the war was over and while she should be feeling elated, and she should feel an inexplicable sense of joy that they didn't have any more enemies to face at the moment. Clarke didn't, instead she felt an odd sense of purposelessness. That was probably why she found herself at the drop ship, they had just buried their dead in the makeshift cemetery, and she needed time to think. No one came to the drop ship anymore so it was the perfect place to go and be alone.

Clarke lost track of how long she had been inside the drop ship thinking, thinking about the lives lost, the war, the alliance with Lexa and the Grounders, Finn, all of the things that she had been too busy to think about before. She couldn't bring herself to cry though. Despite the pain and the guilt of what she felt she couldn't cry for any of it. And knowing that made her feel horrible. Had she become so cold that she couldn't even cry for the people that she'd lost?

She had almost fallen asleep when she heard something moving outside the drop ship, it was loud and obvious enough that it wasn't just the wind in the trees. There was someone outside the drop ship. If it had been one of her friends they would have announced themselves so that she didn't shoot first and ask questions later. Gripping her gun, Clarke stood from her seat and inched towards the doorway. She didn't think that it could be a mountain men, those that they didn't kill had been locked up inside the mountain until their fates could be decided.

Ducking outside of the drop ship Clarke saw that there was a grounder standing awkwardly in the middle of the small courtyard that had once been where most of the tents had been. She didn't recognize him, but he had the marks of the other Trikru.

"Who are you?" Clarke asked assuming that his spoke English given that he was a warrior.

"I am Hudson. Heda has tasked me with your protection." He said, his words were accented and it was clear that he was not as comfortable with English as Lexa or Indra.

"That isn't necessary." Clarke dismissed.

"I do as Heda commands." Clarke wanted to be angry that Lexa didn't think that she could take care of herself but at the same time it was kind sweet that Lexa was still concerned for her.

"I'm heading back to Camp Jaha soon."

"Clarke kom Skaikru?" Hudson called when Clarke had turned to go back inside of the drop ship. Clarke turned curious as to what he had to say. "You have proven you are a good leader, and a good warrior. It is an honor to protect you."

His words surprised Clarke, she didn't know what the grounders thought of her. She'd assumed most of them felt about her the same way that Quint had, that she was a murderer and they would all be lining up to kill her if she weren't under Lexa's protection. Nodding her thanks at his words Clarke went back inside, gathered her things and then walked back to Camp Jaha with Hudson in tow.

* * *

Lexa barely listened to her generals as they argued what was to become of the mountain, though it had already been pretty much decided that the mountain would go to the Sky People. They were mostly all in agreement of that since the Grounders had no need for anything in the mountain. Though, Lexa's interest was piqued when she heard one of the generals question the alliance that she had forged amongst the twelve clans

"The Coalition is not in question." Lexa stated firmly, her tone silencing the room. They each looked at her, where she sat on her throne. Their Heda, conqueror of the mountain and forger of peace.

"But the Sky People, Heda."

"What of them?" Lexa demanded.

"They are not like us, they are more like the mountain men. How can we trust them?" Lexa heard the familiar caution that Gustus had given her when they had first met the Sky People.

"They are our allies." Lexa stated, her gaze daring anyone to challenge her.

"But they do not adhere to our laws. Your laws Heda. They are not of the ground Heda. Their ways are different than ours, and as the twelve tribes follow you, will the Sky People? They cannot be allowed to remain on Trigedakru land if they are not made to ally with the coalition." Lexa hated that they had a point. It was a matter that they never got to finish addressing before the threat of the mountain became too big to ignore. Clarke and her people were invaders on land that did not belong to them, it belonged to Lexa. And now they would need to face that issue.

"I will speak to the Sky People about terms. Until then, our warriors deserve to celebrate our victory. In the morning, return to your nations. We will discuss what is to be done with the Sky People at the next meeting of the Commanders in Polis." Lexa said.

That seemed to satisfy them for the time being but it only posed further problems for Lexa. It seemed that her fate would still be tied to Clarke's until this could be settled in a way that didn't destroy the Coalition. None of the clans wanted to go back to war. But Lexa couldn't allow that to even be a possibility. She couldn't see the conversation she needed to have with the Sky People going well.

"Indra, we'll have to postpone my return to the capital." Lexa said once she was alone with her general.

* * *

While the celebration raged throughout the camp Clarke found herself looking for Lexa, things had been tense between them since Lexa had dismissed her when they'd returned to the battle camp. Lexa had never dismissed Clarke like that before, never shut her out so completely. And really, Clarke wished that she could understand why. But as she weaved around different bon fires mixed with Sky People and Grounders looking for the familiar face of the Commander. But the more she looked, the more she was certain that Lexa wasn't at the celebration.

"Hudson, do you know where the Commander is?" Clarke asked, the Grounder was still following her. Though he hadn't needed to prove that he was needed. He didn't say anything, just continued to follow her as she ventured through the forest away from the celebration. There were countless directions that Lexa could have gone in, and Clarke had no idea why she thought that Lexa would have ventured towards the mountain but that was where her feet carried her.

She came to a stop in front of the doors of the mountain, still closed so that the remaining population inside the mountain could survive without the radiation. She hated this place. It was supposed to be a place of hope for her and her people when they landed, somewhere they could find food and they could find shelter. But quickly, too quickly, she'd learned that the people that lingered in the mountain were what nightmares were made of.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating with the others?" Clarke heard Lexa's voice ring out through the night, but for a moment she couldn't see where Lexa was. And then she found Lexa sitting on the ground, leaning against a large bolder that they had used as protection during the siege.

"I was, until I saw that you weren't there. I was worried."

"You do not need to worry for me Clarke of the Sky People. Hudson, return to camp. I will see to her." Lexa ordered, the grounder nodded and left wordlessly. Disappearing into the tree line and the out of sight. Clarke walked closer to Lexa, sitting down silently and without invitation.

"Why are you out here all by yourself?" Clarke asked curiously, noticing that Lexa had with her a bottle of grounder wine. It was not a taste that Clarke would say that she enjoyed but it would do the trick if someone wanted to get drunk quickly.

"After battles I like to spend time alone. Allow my spirit to make peace with what needed to be done." Lexa answered, though she made no indication that she would like for Clarke to leave. Clarke reached for the bottle and takes a generous drink and for a moment they weren't the leaders of heir people, responsible for baring the weight of the world on their shoulders. They are just Clarke and Lexa. Two girls forced to grow up to quickly.

"So what happens now?"

"Now we find a way to live in peace." Lexa answered.

"But we will? Have peace?" Clarke asked, she knew that it was a question that her people had wondered if the Grounders would honor their alliance now that the threat of the mountain was gone. She had told them that Lexa would honor it, even if she had no actual proof of that.

"I have met with the Generals. They are not opposed to peace with your people."

"Why do I sense that there is something more to it than that?"

"Will your people submit to my rule Clarke?" Lexa asked looking over at Clarke, wanting to see Clarke's face when she asked that question. Clarke's eyes widened, she hadn't really thought about it coming to that. Though, now that the question was voiced, she was surprised she hadn't thought about it before.

"Is that what you and your General's talked about?" Clarke asked, though she already knew the answer.

"My generals are not opposed to the Sky People joining the coalition of the 12 tribes and becoming the 13ths. But there will be rules. If you want peace then you and your people will have to agree to them."

"We'd be subservient to you?"

"You would become Grounders. You would have to adhere to our laws."

"I don't think that the council would agree to that. You've dealt with them. You know what they're like."

"You will need to make them. This is the only way that we can have peace."

"There has to be another way. Can't we be our own people, allied with your people?" Clarke asked watching Lexa look away.

"That is the only way that the other leaders of the clans will accept your people. If you are seen as grounders then they will leave you alone. If you are not, then they could attack you and it would be within our laws to do so. I could not protect you. No without breaking the coalition I've spent my entire life working for." Lexa said, though she didn't say the words it was clear that Lexa wished that it didn't have to be that way.

"So, either we become grounders or we are open ourselves up to more war with the grounders?" Clarke asked exasperated. She was so tired of this, of the world always being on the verge of ending. "This is stupid."

"No decision needs to be made tonight. For now, let us go back to our people. Celebrate the peace we have earned." Lexa said standing up and extending her hand to Clarke.

* * *

Clarke hadn't seen such a celebration since the first night that the 100 had been on the ground. Several large bon fires had been lit and music was playing from drums that had once been used for battle. Sky People and Grounder's mingled in a way that they had never done before, former adversary's now victorious allies. Joining her friends, Clarke knew that the weight that she carried on her shoulders from the battle, from the decisions that she had needed to make would never go away. But spending time with them, laughing at Monty and Jasper's antics, seeing Raven finally moving on from Finn with Wick, she knew that everything that she had done was worth it.

"You look happy Princess." Bellamy said sitting next to Clarke, handing her a cup of Grounder wine. Clarke took the glass and inhaled its potent aroma, grimacing at what she was sure would be a foul taste.

"We won." Clarke said daring to take a sip. The liquid burned down her throat and warmed her stomach.

"Yeah we did, with the help of the Grounders. Who would have thought we'd have peace with them huh?" Bellamy asked. Clarke's gaze dropped, not sure if she should tell him now or later that the peace that he was talking about might be short lived. Deciding against it, at least for the night so that he could enjoy the celebration. "What is it?"

"Nothing. It's just we owe them a lot. I don't think we would have won without them."

"Guess it's a good thing that the Commander has a soft spot for you huh?" Bellamy teased, Clarke's cheeks flushed bright red. Looking around quickly to make sure that no one had heard Bellamy's words Clarke shushed him.

"She does not."

"What's going on between you?"

"Nothing." Clarke said quickly. Too quickly.

"I've seen the way that you guys look at each other. There is a lot more than 'nothing.'"

"She isn't exactly the most forthcoming with what she's thinking." Clarke said with no small amount of frustration. She wished that she could understand Lexa, but each time she thought that she might be making progress with the Commander then Lexa seemed to shut down.

"I bet you could make her talk about it. You deserve happiness. And I might not understand it but if she can make you happy then maybe it's worth the risk? Now that we have peace with them anyway." Bellamy said with a shrug. He didn't know if Lexa could make Clarke happy, but Bellamy knew that she would try.

* * *

Lexa looked over at Clarke and Bellamy, she felt the familiar flare of jealousy when she saw the two of them together that she was tempted to interrupt. But she stopped herself, distracting herself with talk with her warriors and her Generals. They were all in good spirits and it helped to lift hers when she saw them.

"Commander."

"Marcus of the Sky People." Lexa greeted watching out of the corner of her eye as she was joined by Marcus. For several long moments the two of them stood in silence. Lexa tried not to let her irritation be known at that, it was something that she was beginning to learn about the Sky People. They didn't always get straight to the point.

"I know that our people have not always seen eye to eye on matters, but I wanted to thank you for helping get our people out of the mountain." Marcus said gratefully. Marcus found himself in awe of the Commander, she possessed a strength he wouldn't have thought possible in someone of Lexa's age.

"I did not do it for you Marcus of the Sky People." Lexa answered shortly.

"I know. In our culture, we thank people for doing things even if you didn't just do it for us. It was nice that we worked together to bring down an enemy." Marcus explained thankful that the night would hide his blush.

"I see."

"We have a council meeting tomorrow, we're going to talk about what we're going to do with the mountain, the people in it, and the technology that's inside. We would like it if you would be there." Marcus said getting to the point of why he had approached her. Abby had asked him to do so because it was no secret that Lexa and Abby would probably never see eye to eye.

"I have no interest in the mountain. Your people may do with it what they will."

"Still, maybe you should come anyway? Provide your guidance?" Lexa turned to face Marcus, trying to understand what it was that he was really asking. Why it seemed so important to him that she be there.

"Speak true, Marcus of the Sky People." He sighed, looking sheepish and embarrassed that he was now standing in front of a teenage girl who knew more about leading then it seemed his entire council.

"We need your help. We're a fractured people, there are those who follow the council and the Chancellor. And there are people who follow Clarke. My people respect you as a leader, if you were to throw your support behind us, then maybe we wouldn't be so divided." Marcus said.

"I will come to your meeting. But you should know, who it is I support as leader of the Sky People has never been a question." Lexa said leaving Marcus to watch her go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone who has left a review, followed the story, or favored it. It means so much to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter Six

"Are you sure this is wise Heda?" Indra asked following Lexa as the two approached Camp Jaha. The rest of Lexa's guard had been ordered to remain a polite distance back. Close enough that, should they be needed they would be there, but not so close as to appear distrustful of their hosts.

"We have been invited. To decline may be seen as an insult. And as it stands, the Sky People are still our allies." Lexa said as she pulled subtly on the reins of her horse and felt the beast stop. Indra dismounted first, taking the protective place in front of Lexa when the gate opened.

The Sky People were out in droves, all wanting to see the Commander again. Things were different now that the war was over. Many of them looked to Lexa with gratitude instead of fear. Some had never actually seen a horse before, and that was what drew their attention. Clarke approached Lexa first, as part of the official welcoming committee and because she wanted a moment alone with Lexa.

"Promise me, you'll play nice." Clarke said quietly. Lexa's eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

"There is to be a game?" Lexa asked. She hadn't been told of this custom.

"No. I mean, I know they can be a little frustrating. But they mean well. So just, go easy on them okay?" Clarke clarified. Lexa nodded, though she wasn't entirely sure she understood Clarke's words, she understood the meaning behind them.

"I will _play nice_ as you put it." Lexa promised. Clarke smiled, grateful that Lexa would make an attempt. Lexa didn't even have to be there but she was doing it as a sign of good faith and Clarke appreciated that.

"Commander, thanks for coming." Marcus greeted. Abby watched from a distance, still wary of Lexa.

"We are allies are we not?" Lexa answered gruffly. Clarke set Lexa a warning glare before Lexa followed Marcus and the others into the council room.

Lexa looked around, it was artificial and so grey inside. So different than her own war tents. The only similarity was the large table at the center, with the Sky People's version of a map upon it. Lexa's eyes went over what the Sky People knew of the land and almost laughed at how little they knew.

"I've asked the Commander here as my guest. In hopes that she may offer some insight into this land we're surrounded by." Marcus said by way of opening the council meeting. Lexa knew they were all staring at her, it seemed that they were as unaccustomed to visitors to their meetings as she was for being there.

"That is not what you requested of me Marcus of the Sky People." Lexa said unwilling to raise to whatever bait he'd left. He wanted information, he wanted her to divulge secrets and that, and she would not do.

"Why did you ask her here Marcus?" Abby asked.

"He requested I be here to offer my support to the leader of the Sky People. He worries that you lack clear leadership." Lexa offered. It was clear from the look on Marcus' face that he was not expecting that bit of information to get out. Especially when he felt, rather than saw, the scathing glare Abby sent to him.

"We have a Chancellor."

"Many of your people would rather follow Clarke. My people look to Clarke to make decisions for your people." Lexa countered, daring the council member to challenge her. The way that he shrunk back into his chair was evidence that he didn't want to challenge her.

"That is not how our government works." Abby stated.

"She has proven herself to be a capable leader, one that my people can trust. You, have not." Clarke looked between the two women, sure that any minute things would escalate and possibly come to blows. And she stood, unsure how to stop this.

"Commander, our people elected my mother to be their leader." Clarke insisted. She knew that Lexa didn't like that Clarke wouldn't accept the role of leader, a role that Lexa seemed Hell bent on Clarke having.

"Look, we're a stone's throw away from a civil war. Every decision this council makes, the people look to Clarke to validate. We need to get ahead of this or it'll just get worse." Marcus insisted.

The protests filled the room while Clarke stood completely flabbergasted at what was going on.

"I don't want to be Chancellor." Clarke announced.

"This doesn't concern the Grounders Marcus. She doesn't need to be here for this." Abby didn't like the idea of airing their dirty laundry for all to see.

"But it does. Because it isn't just our people now. We have an alliance with the Grounders. Their opinion matters too." Clarke looked at Lexa, her blue eyes wide. She didn't want to hear what she knew Lexa was going to say. Even if she knew that it was true.

"My people and the Sky People's alliance was forged between Clarke and myself. You would rather have had war."

"Because you forced our hands in killing Finn." Abby was to focused on her own anger to see how Clarke flinched at the mention of Finn. But Lexa noticed. Too acutely she felt Clarke's pain.

"Clarke made the sacrifice that was needed for peace."

"Guys, calm down a minute." Clarke said moving between the two women.

"I asked the Commander here because we need her guidance. Because she's managed to unite the twelve grounder clans in peace. I don't know about you guys, but I do not want to go to war with the grounders. If we can find a peace, I say we do what we have to in order to achieve that." Marcs met no opposition. Eve Abby, though she looked for any reason she could think of t disagree. She would admit that their lives would be so much easier if they got along with the Grounders.

"You wish to speak of terms then?" Lexa asked. She wasn't used to the idea of speaking to a council. The idea made her uneasy. Abby was their elected leader but she didn't trust Abby. She had done nothing to earn Lexa's trust.

"Yes."

"To have peace with my people there are things that must happen." Lexa cautioned.

"We'll do our best." Marcus promised.

"You will need to do them, or there can be no lasting peace. Now that we have defeated the Mountain Men there is nothing preventing my people from demanding the blood that they are owed for the lives your people have taken. Or the fact that you're Ark has landed in my territory. Making you invaders." Clarke knew that tone, Lexa had used it many times. It was the tone she used when she wanted no arguments. Her word was law.

"Okay."

"You will surrender all your weapons to my people." Lexa stated. She saw the instant outrage, the defensiveness that filled each of them.

"Absolutely not."

"You may develop any weaponry you wish once we have destroyed your guns and bombs. There will be nothing that uses gun powder."

"Swords and sticks? How could we possibly defend ourselves?"

"As my people do. My people will help train anyone who wishes to learn how to use and craft these weapons. This is non-negotiable. This will happen or there can be no lasting peace." Lexa stated firmly. Her expression was steely and unreadable, even to Clarke.

"Is it because right now, you're scared of us?" Abby asked. Lexa's eyes narrowed. The Sky Chancellor was challenging her, from the corner of her eye Lexa could see Indra inch closer.

"Do you have enough bullets to kill every Grounder Clan? Enough bombs to blow up all of my people? Because they will continue to come, clan after clan until one day, there are no more bullets. And we will siege this camp until you are either dead or starving. That is what they will do, and I will not be able to stop them. Nor will I be inclined to do so." Lexa circled the table until she stood in front of Abby. The young Commander looking more imposing than even the Mountain men. Ad Abby took a subconscious step back.

"Lexa…" Clarke started.

"Death loses its meaning when it can be dealt at a distance. Our ancestors learned that when they burned the sky. I will not allow it. Nor will any Grounder. If you hope for peace, as you say. This is the only way. Decide this, then we will reconvene to discuss terms." Lexa said. Looking at each council member before finally landing her gaze on Clarke the eye contact was fleeting and soon Lexa was turning to leave the room.

A heavy silence hung in the council chamber as everyone looked around, reeling from what Lexa had said. There was still a lot to discuss, they had been so reliant on their guns because that was what they knew. But Lexa had a point, one day they would run out of bullets and none of them wanted to have to face the grounders on that day.

Clarke followed Lexa out of the Council room. Lexa didn't have to see Clarke to know the blonde was following her. The knowledge didn't make Lexa slow her stride. The Sky People's stubbornness had filled Lexa with a frustration she found uniquely tied to them.

"Lexa wait." Clarke said once she determined that Lexa wasn't going to stop. The brunette paused and turned to face Clarke patiently and silently waiting. "Look, you're asking for a lot. It would make us defenseless."

Lexa sighed, looking at Clarke with exhausted eyes. She wasn't asking for more than she had asked any member of the coalition. But the Sky People had weapons Lexa had only heard stories of. Abby was right, they did scare her, deep down in the bones the idea terrified her. And she couldn't express that.

"And your stubborn refusal to do it could cause war." Lexa insisted. Inching closer to Clarke so that her words wouldn't be overheard. "A war I cannot protect you from." Lexa said quietly, with no small amount of reluctance. Clarke felt her cheeks flush brightly.

"You don't have to protect me."

"I don't do it out of necessity Clarke. Urge your people to do this. Or this will be the last time we meet with any amount of civility." Lexa words could have been see as a threat but Clarke knew Lexa well enough to know that Lexa wasn't threatening her. It was a warning.

"I'll talk to them."

"Let me know when a decision has been reached."

Clarke watched Lexa leave with Indra, mind still reeling by Lexa's concern. Lexa would never admit it but Clarke had learned how to tell and it made her heart flutter.

* * *

Lexa stared at her war table, it was bare for the first time since she arrived. The maps were rolled up and packed away, it looked oddly naked. It was unsetting. Lexa didn't know what to do with peace. She had been a war since she had been called to lead her people. Peace would be her newest adventure.

"Heda." Lexa looked up at the intrusion. Lincoln stood before her, dressed in Sky People clothes. She wanted to hate him, he was a traitor to their people. Killing him and burning his body was an honor that he didn't deserve. Still, she couldn't forget the past that that the two of them shared.

"Are you still Trigedakru Lincoln?" Lexa asked, her tone harsh and unforgiving.

"I am Heda."

"Indra disagrees, and I am inclined to believe her. You dress like them, you spend your days and nights with them. You have abandoned your people for them." Lexa saw her words wound him. No accusation hurt her people more than accusing them of disloyalty.

"I did not agree with slaughtering them before we knew them. And in the process of learning about them I have found that they have strength that can be valuable to us." Lincoln argued. Lexa couldn't deny that he had a point, and his closeness with Octavia did provide them invaluable insight.

"I will forgive you of your crimes, since it has led to the alliance with the Sky People." Lexa saw the relief roll off of Lincoln, he had expected that Lexa was going to have him killed. He hadn't told anyone that he was going to the Grounder camp for that very reason, Octavia would have never let him go if she though that Lexa would harm him.

"Thank you Heda."

"I expect your loyalty Lincoln. I will not extend this forgiveness again."

"I understand."

"I have told the Sky People that in order to have a lasting peace with us they need to surrender their weapons to us. Do you think they will do this?"

"I do not know Heda. They believe they have superior weapons and can defend themselves against the Grounders." Lincoln said. He had seen the superiority complex that the Sky People had, and he had tried to make it clear to them that they needed to lose that if they wanted to be at peace.

"Make them understand Lincoln."

"Yes Heda." Lincoln left, knowing when he was being dismissed. As he walked, there was a lightness in his step. Being welcomed back home was better than anything he had thought he would feel again. He was back amongst his people.

Lexa didn't want war with the Sky People, but she wouldn't back down from one if they forced her hand. But she couldn't fight Clarke. There was no scenario she could envisage where she would stand on a battlefield and not have Clarke standing beside her. She had to make peace work. But Lexa knew that it was only her heart speaking, so loud that her head stood no chance of being heard.

"Indra, bring the generals to me."

"Heda?"

"I need them in here now."

It took a few minutes but each of her generals stood before her throne. Most of them had been with her since her first battle. When she had decided that she wanted to unite the clans in a lasting peace. She remembered how some of them had told her that it wasn't possible. And the look of shame on their faces when she had succeeded. Now she was going to ask them to have faith in her once more, and she hoped that they would. She could not do this without them.

"Generals, I have met with the Sky People's council and informed them that if they do not surrender their weapons there would be no peace between our people and theirs." Her words surprised them. She could tell by the look of surprise on their faces.

"Will they do this Heda?"

"I do not know yet. I await their answer."

"They would be foolish to not accept these terms. Clarke kom Skaikru has sacrificed too much for peace." Lexa looked at the genera who had spoken, his name was Cole. Lexa had known him since she was a child, he had taught her about war strategy when she was still learning, when she was too young to be taken as a Second.

"It is not Clarke we need to worry about. It is her people, their council is led by a woman who will not accept our ways. We must be prepared in the event that they do not accept our terms. The other Clans will attempt to attack the Sky People." Lexa said, she knew that her generals knew her well enough to know what she was asking. She was asking them if they would defend the Sky People or if they would join the other clans in the attack.

"We will stop them. No army is greater than yours Heda."

"I am hoping that it will not come to that. But I want each of you to send a handful of your best men into the forest. I want them positioned to watch our borders. If any other clan comes near our territory or the Sky People camp, I wish to now immediately."

They all voiced their acceptance of her orders and filed out of the room until only Indra and Cole remained. It didn't surprise her that Cole remained, as a child it had always been Gustus and Cole as her protectors. Now, in the absence of her closest body guard Lexa was glad to have Cole by her side.

"Heda, you wish to endanger the coalition for the Sky People?"

"No. The coalition will not be in danger because Clarke will convince them that this is what is best. I am merely preparing in case she fails."

"You put a lot of faith in Clarke kom Skaikru." Indra cautioned.

"Which is why I know she will not disappoint me. Relax Indra, I know what I am doing. This alliance with the Sky People is what we need for our people to become stronger. We have seen their worth and determination during the battle of the Mountain."

"You have chosen well Heda." Cole commented. Lexa looked to her general, not understanding his meaning.

"Explain."

"In the choosing of your _teina keryon."_ He said as naturally as if it were obvious. Lexa had to bite her lip to show her surprised reaction this comment. Indra's eyes narrowed, and she moved to speak on behalf of Lexa but the Commander raised her hand.

"We both know that I had no choice in it." Cole laughed softly and nodded. He was happy for his Commander to have found someone worthy of her. They had all worried after Costia's death. Worried that their Commander would let her heart grow cold.

"By your leave Commander." He said with a bow. When she nodded Cole left her tent to take up his post outside her tent.

"You have something to say Indra?" Lexa asked noticing that Indra stayed behind.

"No Heda." Indra said before she left.

* * *

"We have no choice. Disarming is the only way." Clarke insisted each council member looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Clarke, these weapons are what keep us safe. The Grounders are afraid of them." Abby said confidently.

"Maybe, rightfully so. Mom the Grounders will attack us. And like before, we almost lost to them because they outnumber us. We nearly ran out of bullets after one night."

"We have more bullets now."

"That's not the point!" Clarke exclaimed wondering how they could be so daft.

"What about the Mountain? We can defend ourselves there."

"And be no better than the mountain men? If we ever left the walls of that place the Grounders would kill us where we stood." Clarke promised. Lexa had warned her, given them a courtesy that she hadn't needed to. They would be stupid not to listen to it.

"Clarke, I know you feel very strongly about this. But we should show the Grounders we're not willing to give in, Lexa doesn't want war with us." Abby said her confidence sliding effortlessly into arrogance.

"No, she's still washing the blood off her hands from the last war we got her into. Lexa doesn't make idle threats. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can have peace." Clarke said leaving the council room. Her blood was boiling, and the cool air helped calm her nerves.

"How's it going in there?" Bellamy asked. He and the others had been waiting anxiously for Clarke to emerge.

"They think it's a bluff." Clarke said.

"They don't know Grounders very well if they think they bluff."

"They won't listen to me."

"Maybe not. But the people might." Clarke didn't have a chance to question Bellamy before he jumped on top of a crate and started talking. "EVERYONE LISTEN UP! CLARKE HAS SOMETHING SHE NEEDS TO SAY." Clarke glared at her friend before looking around and seeing that most of the camp had gathered before her. She had no choice now.

"I've spoken with the Grounders they want peace with us, they want to help us learn how to survive on Earth. The only thing they want in return is for us to give them our guns." Clarke heard the instant outcry. "I know! It seems like a lot. But guns are against their ways. And how can we blame them, we got to live through the aftermath of the war up in space. They had to lean to adapt. They will provide us with Grounder weapons and teach us to use them to defend ourselves."

"Swords and bows and arrows? We'd be savages. Like them?"

"They aren't savages! And a peace with them is the only way we're going to survive. The council thinks the Grounders are bluffing. But I know they aren't. So I'm asking you to agree to this."

"What guarantee do we have that they won't attack anyway?"

"My word."

The silence seemed to stretch n for a small eternity while they waited. Until suddenly, someone moved. It was Miller's dad, he stepped in front of Clarke still holding his rifle.

"The Grounder's helped me get my son back. Your mom would've had me leave him to die." He said as he removed the rifle strap from around his shoulder and tossed it on the ground. One by one the people followed, until there was a heap of firearms in front of her.

"Bellamy, keep watch on these guns until I get back from the Grounder village."

* * *

Lexa watched Clarke enter her tent, she was alone after Indra left. But when she had been told that Clarke was on her way she had decided that they needed to speak alone. Clarke eyed Lexa warily, unsure if Lexa was still her friend or if they had become enemies overnight. The brunette was without her war pain and once again she looked young.

"Have you come to give me our answer Clarke of the Sky People?" Lexa asked leaning against the war table, she didn't want to have the conversation sitting on her throne. She was not above Clarke, they were both leaders.

"We will agree to relinquish our weapons on one condition."

"This is not a negotiation." Lexa repeated the same words, she had said to Clarke at their first meeting, this was not lost on Clarke.

"One condition."

"What is it?"

"We're allowed to keep our weapons until peace between our people is assured." Clarke had a different air around them when she finally accepted, and acted like the leader Lexa knew she was. Lexa almost felt proud of it.

"Agreed." Lexa said with a nod. Clarke breathed a sigh of relief, glad Lexa was at least being reasonable.

"Good, now we can talk peace."

"We will only speak with you on matters of peace." Lexa said. Clarke nodded, resigned to the truth.

"Okay."

"We will start tomorrow." Lexa said dismissively, she expected Clarke would leave at once to report back to her people. But Clarke stayed planted, there was a question burning inside her head she wouldn't leave until it was answered.

"What would you have done? If we'd said no." Clarke asked finally.

"You mean, would I have allowed my warriors to kill you" Lexa countered. It was, in truth what Clarke was asking. If Lexa would let Clarke die.

"Yes." Lexa hesitated a moment, she could lie and say that she hadn't contemplated all the ways she could get Clarke out of Camp Jaha before her army attacked. But she couldn't form the words. Lying was never a skill Lexa had mastered.

"Jomp em op en yu, Jomp ai op." Lexa said quietly. Clarke recognized the words, she'd heard Lexa say them before. But she didn't know what they meant when Quint had tried to kill her. She remembered hearing Lexa say it, and the way that Quint's eyes had looked between Clarke and Lexa.

"What does that mean?" Clarke asked

"It means, attack her and you attack me. I would not have let you die Clarke." Lexa answered with such heart breaking honesty Clarke was stunned silent.

"You can't say stuff like that." Clarke said finally. She couldn't have Lexa say sweet things that were otherwise, so uncharacteristic of the brunette. It made it harder for Clarke to remain strong, to follow Lexa's lead and listen to her head and not her heart. Especially now, when they needed to focus on negotiations. If the negotiations went badly then she would end up with a shattered heart. And she didn't think she was strong enough to do that again. Lexa seemed to understand the tone of what Clarke meant, she didn't look offended.

"Even if they are true?" Lexa asked, her green eyes unguarded for once.

"We can't. Not if we're negotiating peace." Clarke said defeated.

"You asked me if I could let you die. I answered." Lexa reasoned. She didn't understand Clarke's apparent anger at her honesty. But she had begun to realize that Sky people did not put as much stock in honesty.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"I don't know that. I try and understand you, but I seem to be failing to do that." Lexa commented more to herself than to Clarke. She hated not understanding Clarke. It confused her beyond anything she'd ever felt before.

"You're being sweet." The moment that the words left Clarke's mouth she wishes she could take them back. They sounded trite, and childish. Complaining about something that she actually enjoyed. The thought that Lexa would endanger her alliance with the other clans in order to keep Clarke safe. It wasn't so much what Lexa was saying, Clarke knew that Lexa wasn't good with words. But it was what Lexa was willing to do.

"It would appear that I am not as adept at ignoring my heart as I would like to be." Lexa said. She feared she might not ever understand how Clarke was able to circumvent each wall Lexa had carefully, and painstakingly erected around her heart. But she did. And regardless of whether it was in the best interest of her people, or even for her, Lexa wanted Clarke.

"You don't have to. It's not bad to listen to your feelings once and a while. It can keep you alive, bring you happiness."

"Or pain."

"Or pain, but you can't have one without the other." Clarke wished she could make Lexa understand. That somehow she could make Lexa understand that feelings weren't weakness.

"Where does this leave us? I would like to know before this, this feeling drives me insane." Lexa said frustrated.

"I don't know."

"If you ask me to wait for you, I will. But I cannot wait in vain." Lexa said as her final word on the subject, Clarke nodded and with a firm determination.

"Wait for me."

**Thanks to the Trigedasleng webpage:**

**_teina keryon - entwined/joined soul  
_ **

**While I'm pretty sure that there isn't a word in Grounder language for Soul Mate or spirit mate I had to make one.**


	7. Chapter Seven

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is shorter than my previous ones, it ended at a good stopping point. Next chapter should be up soon. Thanks again for any comments, feedback, and follows.**

Chapter Seven

After the initial tension surrounding the negotiation, peace talks went rather smoothly. After hours spent debating boundaries and painstaking debates over what help the Grounders would be expected to give during the winter. Far too much help as far as Indra was concerned. Still, the matter of the Mountain was the one thing that they seemed unable to settle on. There were the occupants that had still be left in the mountain, unable to leave the Mountain and currently quarantined on the fifth level.

Lexa found herself in the suffocating confines of the compound. The entre place set Lexa’s entire body on edge, standing in the medical bay, knowing what the Mountain men had done to her people in this room. They had tried to keep her away from the cages that they had kept the Grounder’s in, but it had been explained her what they had done to her people. Her eyes had traced the tubes many times while she was supposed to be listening to Abby’s argument about how important the medications and the equipment was.

“So you wish to remain in the mountain?” Lexa asked surprised by the request.

“It is the closest to the environment that we’re accustomed to.” Abby answered. The idea did appeal to her, the mountain was a fortress.

“And you would never come out?” Lexa asked, her question was directed at Clarke. The idea of the blonde held captive within the walls made her sad. Clarke belonged out among the trees, under the sun and stars.

“No, we’d still go in and out. Like we used to do with the ark.” Clarke explained quickly. She could tell that Lexa wasn’t a fan of the idea. But she was trying really hard not to let it show.

“Is this what you want? Or what she wants?” Lexa asked.

“Excuse me, you can’t-.”

“I can do as I please.” Lexa interrupted.

“Mom, give us a minute.” Clarke insisted. Abby looked between the two girls before leaving them alone. Once they were alone Clarke turned to Lexa, her gaze inquisitive and curious. “What’s really bothering you?”

“You do not belong in a place like this. This place with its windowless walls, reeking of the blood of our people.” Lexa said. As far as Clarke was concerned this was as close to an emotional outburst as Lexa got.

“It’s not like you’ll never see me Lexa.”

“After today, no Grounder will set foot in this place. It will be cursed by my people.” Lexa said, unspoken warning dripping from her tone.

“Lexa.”

“It is the way it must be Clarke. Allow your people to stay here if that is what you wish. But do not stay with them. Not in this place.” It was the first time that Clarke had ever heard Lexa make a request. Everything else had been an order. Spoken with authority.

“A request from the commander.” Clarke teased.

“Do not get used to it Clarke of the Sky People.”

“You really don’t like it in here do you?”

“Generations of my people died in this mountain Clarke. I have nothing but hatred for everything in this place. Every person that still lives in these walls deserves Grounder justice.”

Clarke moved towards Lexa, keeping a respectable distance between them of a couple feet. Since that night, Clarke had noticed that things had changed between her and Lexa. It was undefinable, inexplicable even. But Clarke felt it and it made her bold.

“You don’t have to stay here. My mom wanted to show you how useful this technology could be. The idea of not having weapons freaks her out. The idea of being in the mountain makes her feel safe and I know that my people would feel the same.” Clarke explained softly.

“I will stay.”

“Because the Commander doesn’t feel fear?”

“You are learning.”

Lexa looked around at the computers in the control room she hated everything she saw. It unnerved her to know that she could be watched. She couldn’t allow that. She didn’t need to say it for Clarke to know what she was thinking.

“Without the dam powering this place these monitors won’t show them anything.”

“Will your people fix them?”

“They’ll try. It’ll keep Raven busy for a while.”

Lexa debated what Clarke was saying, knowing that the other clans would not agree to have the mountain fully functional again. Even in the hands of allies, the shadow of the mountain would plague them.

“I’ll talk to them.”

“I have to return to the capital soon. I have put it off as long as I could.” Lexa said. If she was going to defuse the tension between the clans and the Sky People then she would need to do it from the capital. From her seat of power.

“You’re leaving?” Clarke nearly choked on the words. Somehow she had thought that Lexa would just stay. It had become so natural to have the brunette nearby. To see Lexa every day. The idea that she wouldn’t, that Lexa would be gone was enough to make Clarke’s chest physically hurt.

“Tondc is Indra’s village. I came because 100 people fell from the sky. Now, it’s time to go. Once peace is agreed upon.” Lexa explained, hoping that Clarke knew that Lexa wasn’t going willingly.

“How far away is the capital?”

“A days ride, maybe more depending on if you have a horse or not.”

“Do you have to go?”

“Our obligation to our people does not end during peace time Clarke.”

“I know, I just didn’t expect you to be leaving.”

“You could come with me. I think you would like the capital very much. There are markets, schools, and baths.” Lexa’s eyes lit up as she spoke about her home. She missed it.

“It sounds amazing. Especially the bath part.”

“So will you come?”

“I have to be here with my people. Help them rebuild.” Clarke said reluctantly.

“I understand.”

“That isn’t a no, Lexa.”

“Just not a yes either.” Lexa said with a hint of disappointment.

“It’s a not yet.” Clarke clarified.

“Another not yet.” Lexa muttered under her breath, but Clarke heard it. It had been a week since they had spoken, and Clarke hadn’t been able to make a decision. She knew that it was weighing on Lexa, the waiting.

“Lexa…”

“I told you I can be patient. And I will be.”

“Thank you.”

The door opened and Clarke watched Lexa’s face harden, her eyes narrow and her hand go to the hilt of her sword. Turning, Clarke saw that her mother had returned but following her was Maia. Maia had never seen a Grounder alive before, Abby had told her that it might help if Lexa could meet one of their kind. Learn that no everyone in the mountain was bad. But from the look that Lexa was giving her, Maia didn’t think that Lexa cared to get to know her or anyone else from the mountain.

“This is Maia. She helped our people when they were kept here.” Clarke said quickly. A part of her wanted to reach out and physically stop Lexa from going towards Maia. But she knew that Lexa would not appreciate such a gesture.

“I know you probably hate us. But I’m really sorry for everything that we have done to your people.” Maia said truthfully. Lexa looked the girl over, noticing the paleness of her skin and the general sickliness of her body. Clarke had told her that the people in the mountain couldn’t go outside without treatment.

“What will happen to you without my people’s blood?” Lexa asked.

“We’re working on alternative treatments.” Abby was quick to offer.

“Do as you see fit. You will receive no aid from my people.” Lexa insisted as she moved passed Abby and Maia.

When she reached the door Lexa paused, breathing in the refreshing chill of the forest air. Letting the claustrophobic feeling pass as if it had never been there. The forest seemed to welcome her with open arms, a familiar embrace she would never tire from. She knew every detail of the forest, every path, no matter how hidden it may be. Every hiding spot from the acid fog, every tree that was capable of bearing her weight.

She had left Clarke and Abby in the control room, using an excuse that she needed to check in with Indra and the repairs to Tondc. But she knew Clarke had seen through that. But she didn’t say anything. Lexa was beginning to feel comfortable with Clarke knowing her secrets. Clarke knew a startlingly large number of them already. And she kept those secrets safe.

“Heda.” Hudson greeted. He’d been told to wait outside.

“Remain with Clarke. You are to be her shadow, where she goes you go. Even if she dismisses you, even if she is angry you do not leave her.” She had picked Hudson for his skill at hiding. Lexa knew that Clarke didn’t like being followed. Clarke didn’t understand the necessity. But even Lexa had guards.

“Yes Heda.”

< >

Lexa was finalizing her plans to depart to Polis slowly, she had no doubt in Indra’s ability to govern in her absence. Indra would follow her commands even if she was on the other side of the world. But Lexa still found herself dragging, she didn’t want to go. But there were things that she needed to attend to in Polis. Already, she had been gone from the capital too long.

She had riders deliver news of what was happening. And she had left her most trusted advisor in control of her daily affairs.

“When do you leave?” Lexa heard Clarke’s voice and a smile tugged at her lips. She really shouldn’t be surprised that Clarke was able to walk right by her guards.

“Tomorrow morning.” Lexa answered not looking at Clarke. If she did, she might come up with a reason to stay.

“That soon?” Clarke’s voice was quiet, and so unlike what Lexa was used to.

“I’ve delayed it too long already.” Lexa reminded.

“How long will you be gone?”

“It is my home Clarke. Not just a village I visit.” Lexa stated. Finally she turned, Clarke was leaning casually against one of the support columns of her tent. Trying to look nonchalant and unaffected by the fact that Lexa was leaving.

“It’s going to be weird with you being gone.” Clarke said.

“I have grown accustomed to you in my life as well.” It was as close to an ‘I’ll miss you’ as Lexa would allow herself. But the message was clear, Clarke wanted to acknowledge it but that was the fastest way to make Lexa close up.

“When will I see you again?”

“You could come to the capital whenever you wish.”

“You aren’t coming back? Ever?” The news was crushing.

“There might be reason for me to return one day.” Lexa answered honestly. Clarke couldn’t help but think that Lexa might never come back. Like this was her way of saying goodbye.

“But not any time soon?”

“I cannot remain here Clarke. My duty is first to my people. No matter how much I wish it were different.” Clarke walked towards Lexa, the distance between them starting to feel emotional as well as physical.

“What if I asked you to stay?” Clarke asked. Her voice low, barely above a whisper but the words echoed in Lexa’s mind.

“Why would you be so cruel?” Lexa asked tormented. Her eyes showing her age, her youth, and how vulnerable her heart was. Lexa wouldn’t deny Clarke. She would find a reason to stay if Clarke asked.

“Sorry.”

“In six months, there will be a meeting of the clans in Polis. You should come with your envoy.” Lexa suggested.

“Six months? Okay.”

“So, I will see you in six months. Clarke of the Sky People.” Lexa said trying to make it sound like 183 days that she wouldn’t be able to see Clarke.

“Goodnight Lexa.”

<> 

The whole village came to bid farewell to their commander including many of the Sky People. Clarke stood with her mother and Marcus. The three ruling members of the Sky People stood in front of everyone else, prime position to watch Lexa as she and her people rode off. There were a million places that Clarke would rather than have to watch Lexa ride away. She wanted to be alone. But duty dictated that she be there.

Watching Lexa saying goodbye to Indra and those that would remain in Tondc. Until finally Lexa stood before Clarke. Lexa’s eyes were focused and unemotional but Clarke saw the way that Lexa’s jaw flexed. The smallest gesture speaking volumes.

“Farewell, Clarke of the Sky People.” Lexa said.

“See you in six months.” Clarke said. Lexa stepped closer to Clarke, aware that there were countless eyes on them. Extending her hand to Clarke, a hand shake. A gesture Lexa had always thought was ridiculous. Anya had told her that Clarke had tried to shake her hand. Without thinking Clarke took Lexa’s hand, barely able to contain her surprise when she felt there was something in Lexa’s hand. When she pulled her hand away she had what felt suspiciously like folded paper in her hand.

“May we meet again.” Lexa said before walking way. Clarke watched Lexa ride off at the head of her caravan. She stood until she couldn’t see the commander anymore.

Clarke turned away from her friends and began walking into the forest, hearing her friends calling for her but she ignored them. The paper in her hand burned the skin there. She had to know what it was. When she was finally away, far enough to be alone, she stopped and opened the page.

Unfolding the paper with trembling hands Clarke looked down at the paper. She was surprised to see that there was writing on the paper in thick black ink. The letters were elegantly curvy and beautiful. Lexa knew how to write.

‘I will miss you.’

It was a simple statement but it was enough to send Clarke’s heart racing and her stomach flip flop. Lexa never was one for long confessions about what she was feeling. But Clarke never expected her to, Lexa’s one statement was enough. Clarke was absolutely falling for Lexa.

< >

The ride to Polis seemed longer than Lexa remembered it being. She was glad to be going home. She had missed it. As much as she loved battles, and loved living life as a warrior. The chaos of the battlefield was in her blood. But her home was beautiful, during her campaign to unifying the clans she had been away from Polis for so long. The distance helped her forget the memories that Polis held for her. Costia haunted her most within the walls of her palace. When there were no battles to fight, it was too hard to ignore that ghost.

“You look troubled Heda.” Cole commented riding beside Lexa. Lexa did not look at her General, keeping her eyes on the road before her.

“I have forgotten what peace feels like.”

“It comes back easily enough. There is no one left to fight.”

“I hope you are right.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks everyone for your feedback and your kudos. I'm trying to get back to updating every Wednesday. No promises, but I'm gonna try.**

 

Chapter Eight

The Earth had made them all warriors. No matter how much they wanted to deny it the truth of that statement was written in all the lives lost, and the bloodshed. Each of them had been children when they had landed in the drop ship and now they had lost that innocence. But as the weeks blended into a month after the fall of the mountain Clarke watched a some of that innocence crept back into the remaining 100. Laughing and paying, remembering what it meant to be children.

There was a beauty to the Earth that they hadn’t been able to take the time to immerse themselves in before. Walks through the woods for no other purpose than to be surrounded in it. Trips to rivers and lakes to learn to swim. Watching sunrises and sunsets to appreciate the beauty. All without having to worry about being attacked, or knowing that there were Grounders lurking in the trees watching them. Though Clarke still wasn’t entirely sure that there weren’t some Grounders that were lingering to keep a watchful eye on them.

It had taken her longer than most to truly embrace this peace. Not for lack of trying. But because Clarke was so used to the world around them being hostile, she was worried that it was all too good to be true. So, to protect her heart from the disappointment, Clarke had remained wary. But ultimately, she had relented. And she had never been so glad that she did.

It was early morning, sleeping through the night was still a challenge for Clarke most nights. The dews still covered the ground and the fog had yet to burn off with the morning sun. It made the Earth look ethereal. Clarke sat on a blanket watching the beginnings of a flower bloom. They never had flowers on the Ark. Just picture of them. She had been trying to sketch it for hours. But she couldn’t seem to capture the beauty of it.

A small distance away, leaning against a tree, was Hudson. Her constant shadow. At first, his presence irritated her, she didn’t need a bodyguard. But as time went on Clarke began to look at it another way. Hudson was a connection to Lexa. She knew that Hudson relayed information to Lexa somehow. She had never seen him do it, but she knew it happened. He still spoke very little to her, the only thing he had said to her recently was to warn her that the flower she was admiring was poisonous.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding.” Clarke recognized her mother’s voice behind her.

“Some bodyguard you are.” Clarke commented, sending the Grounder a glare. Hudson merely shrugged.

“You need a bodyguard from your mother now?” Abby asked bitterly. Things between them hadn’t gotten better in the weeks since the war ended. For the most part they avoided each other.

“What did you want mom?” Clarke asked defeated. She wasn’t in the mood to fight with by. She knew that Abby hated that Clarke had practically supplanted her position as Chancellor.

“I thought we should talk. In private.” The words were directed at Hudson, as was the scathing glare that Clarke remembered well, it still gave her shivers.

“Good luck, I‘ve been trying to get him to leave me alone for over a month and he still sticks around.” Clarke offered, she was tired of being angry. She had spent so much of her time on the ground angry and she was sick of it.

“I know you’re still mad at me over what happened on the Ark. And you should be, there is a guilt that I’ll carry for the rest of my life. But we have a future now on the ground. A future that you secured for us. Your dad wouldn’t want us to spend the rest of our days hating each other.” Abby said. She had missed Clarke’s transformation from strong willed but innocent girl into a strong woman with a fire that burned within her that left no question why the people followed her.

“I forgive you mom.” Clarke said. The words surprised Abby. She had expected a bigger fight. But it was just further proof of how Clarke had grown.

“Thank you.”

“We’ve both done things we’re not proud of. You killed the man that you loved for the good of your people. I did the same.” Clarke had only recently realized the parallel of it. How she and her mother shared the same pain. But Abby hadn’t pressed the button that ended her father’s life. Not the way that Clarke had led the knife and felt the life leave Finn’s body.

“I wish I could tell you the feeling goes away.”

“But it won’t. And I’m okay with that. You can’t appreciate life, if death has no meaning.” Clarke remembered hearing Lincoln say something like that when Finn’s judgement had been handed down.

“I missed you sweetheart.” Abby said tears stinging her eyes. She wrapped her arms around Clarke’s shoulders and hugged her tightly. It took a minute but Clarke returned the embrace, nuzzling into her mother’s shoulder like she used to as a kid.

“I missed you too mom.”

“Are you coming back to camp?” Abby asked, pulling away and brushing at her tears.

“In a little bit.” Clarke said.

“Okay, see you when you get back.” Clarke watched Abby eave down the path towards camp. When she was alone again Clarke turned back to the flower. But something felt off now. Something was different. It took a moment when she looked around to see what it was. Hudson was gone. The tree that he had been leaning against was bare. He’d left her, for the first time since Lexa had commanded him to remain at Clarke’s side he wasn’t. Her hand reached for her knife, already missing her gun

“I mean you no harm, Clarke of the Sky People.” Clarke knew that vice. Just hearing it again filled Clarke with an uncontainable joy as she turned around and saw Lexa standing behind her. The Grounder commander stood without her armor or war paint. In fact, Lexa was dressed in a way Clarke had ever seen before. Still in her trademark black Lexa wore trousers that Clarke was sure Lexa could fight in if she needed to but the fabric looked more like cotton than leather. And she wore a cotton shirt that hung loosely over some sort of black tank top. She looked dashing. There was simply no other word for it.

“Lexa.” Clarke breathed the name. Tasted it on her tongue, enjoying the sound.

I did not wish to interrupt your conversation with your mother, so I waited.” Lexa said.

“And eavesdropped instead” Clarke teased.

“I do not know this word.” Lexa said confused. She had a command of the English language that would make most Grounder’s envious, but there were some words she was still learning.

“It means yu were listening without me knowing.” Clarke explained still with a smile.

“Not intentionally. But you were not quiet.” Lexa defended.

“It’s okay. I don’t care if you heard or not.”

“I am glad that you and your mother have made peace.” Lexa offered, though she didn’t care about Abby, she knew that Clarke felt the pain of their rift.

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked. She didn’t want to talk about her mother with Lexa.

“According to my Generals I am here to see the progress of the repairs to Tondc.” Lexa said venturing forward.

“Uh huh, and that explains why you’re here.” Clarke said as Lexa stopped only inches from her.

“You know why I am here.” Lexa said in a low voice. As if the confession itself pained her. Clarke itched to reach out and touch Lexa, to somehow show Lexa that it was okay to admit that she missed Clarke

“I missed you.” Clarke stated boldly.

“I am here now.” Lexa said with a smirk. Unguarded and genuine.

“For how long?”

“I have the day. I must leave by nightfall if I hope to make it back to Polis by the morning.” Lexa answered. When she had told them where she was going she knew that her motives were clear but no one questioned her.

“I have you for a day. I don’t want to waste it.”

“I am at your disposal.” Lexa said a bit of mischief in her eyes. Clarke felt her cheeks flush as the ideas filled her mind of exactly what she would like to do to Lexa.

“Tell me, what have you been up to the past month?” Clarke asked sitting down on her blanket and bringing Lexa down with her.

“I had missed a lot. Most of my time is spent with my Generals.” Lexa said dryly. She didn’t enjoy council meetings, she was a person of action not of deliberation.

“That sounds boring.”

“You have no idea.” Lexa watched Clarke get comfortable, the blonde was so effortlessly graceful.

“I have to admit I ever thought peace would be boring.” Clarke said.

“I have never known peace before.” Lea confessed. Clarke’s eyes widened at the thought.

“What? Never?”

“Some years before my birth, the Trigedakru went to war with the Ice Nation. It was brutal war, we are the only clan that shares a border with the north, so naturally the war is fought on our lands. It lasted until well after my birth. It ended when I was 10. After that, I spent those years uniting the clans.” Lexa said without any sense of sadness. She didn’t mind it. Her people were renowned for their skills as warriors.

“Wow.”

“Do not think badly upon that. It is our way.”

“But you never had a childhood. You ever got to just have fun, and goof off with your friend.”

“Training was fun.” Lexa insisted though she could tell that Clarke didn’t believe her.

“Now, we’ll have to take advantage of peace. Have fun.” Clarke promised her eyes twinkling with the prospect.

“Should I be afraid Clarke?” Lexa teased.

“Probably. We’ll go easy, we’ll start with games.” Clarke said. Her mind was racing with the possibility of everything she could teach Lexa.

“Sounds harmless enough. But don’t you need to return to your camp? You told your mother you would return.” Lexa remembered.

“Right.” Clarke said disappointed.

“I will escort you.” Lexa said standing and extending her hand to Clarke.

The two walked in silence for several moments but they didn’t need to speak. There was a peace between them in their isolation from everyone else. Lexa had dismissed Hudson for him to get some rest. She was confident in her ability to protect Clarke should the need arise. It had been a while since Clarke had felt at peace. Lea looked almost carefree as they walked. She moved as elegantly as the breeze and as silently as a doe. Each footfall was silent, moving around every twig.

“I like you like this.” Clarke said suddenly.

“How?”

“Carefree. Without the armor, and war paint. Just Lexa.” Clarke explained. Lexa took in Clarke’s words, not knowing how to take them.

“Well, I trust you won’t speak of this to anyone. My reputation would be destroyed.” Lexa said faux serious. Making Clarke laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

“Your secret is safe with me.” Clarke promised.

They walked until they could both see the protrusion of the Ark through the trees. It was still an eye sore for Lexa. A horrible intrusion of the sanctity of her forest. But since Clarke came from it Lexa couldn’t entirely hate it. Lexa walked slower the closer they got, she didn’t want to go into camp Jaha, she had half a mind to send Clarke on without her.

“What’s wrong?” Clarke asked.

“If I go into your camp. I have to become the Commander. And the Lexa you seem so fond of will be gone.” Lexa warned.

“Oh.” Clarke said looking back at the camp.

“It’s alright.” Lexa said with the hint of a smile.

It was astounding to see, if Clarke hadn’t watched it happen she would have wondered if it was even possible seeing the way that Lexa changed. The way she slipped into her Commander persona. Lexa’s eyes became harder, her expression more controlled. She looked like the woman that Clarke had first encountered that day in the Grounder camp.

“We won’t be there long.” Clarke promised.

Camp Jaha was just waking up when Clarke walked through the gates with Lexa in tow. But those that were awake looked towards their unexpected guest surprised. They had seen fewer and fewer Grounders as time went on, and usually if they did see them they stayed outside the gates. It was obvious that the Commander’s presence was a surprise.

“It’s the Commander.”

“What is she doing here?”

One of the guards had already run to get Abby ad Kane to tell them that Lexa was here. Lexa knew they were all looking at her wondering.

“Commander.” Abby greeted. Her question evident to Clarke.

“Lexa was here checking in on Tondc. She wanted to check into see how we were doing.” Clarke explained.

“How kind of her.” Abby commented with a forced smile. Lexa’s eyebrow rose in silence challenge, she knew Abby didn’t like her.

“Not kind. Just reasonable, we are allies are we not?” Lexa asked. Clarke could feel the tension between Lexa and Abby, it was palpable. And seeing as how Lexa wasn’t even there on official business Clarke was eager to get Lexa out of there.

“Mom I’m going to show Lexa around.” Clarke said grabbing Lexa by the arm and pulling her away. Abby watched them go. She didn’t like it, but knew better than to question it.

Lexa followed Clarke into the Ark, walking through the halls towards her room. As they passed people they stopped ad watched but no one said anything. Lexa knew where she was being led and she wasn’t entirely sure she was comfortable with it. Being in Clarke’s bedroom right now would be very difficult for her to not remember the kiss that they had shared the last time she was there.

“I’m sorry about her.”

“What are we doing in here?” Lexa asked lingering in the doorway.

“If I left you out there that would be leaving you out with my mother. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Clarke answered gathering whatever she might need for a day adventure out in the trees.

“You doubt my ability to handle your mother?”

“I know you can. Maybe I don’t want you to have to.”

“Okay.” Clarke finished putting things in her bag and turned to see Lexa lingering awkwardly. Clarke might have said something if Lexa didn’t look so adorably uncomfortable.

Lexa stared at Clarke’s bed, the last time she saw it was the night Clarke had kissed her. It was a memory time had not yet caused to fade even a little. The memory of it was still fresh in her mind, the feel of Clarke’s lips, the taste of them was still as vivid as the moment it happened. Clarke watched the memory play through Lexa’s mind, glad that she wasn’t the only one. She had spent a month missing Lexa, wondering why she hadn’t just gone with Lexa to Polis. Her heart had made the decision as soon as she had kissed Lexa but her head was taking more time to come to terms with it. Her head was still convinced she shouldn’t be allowed happiness, not after what she had done.

Clarke jumped when she felt Lexa’s hand on her cheek, thumb brushing away a tear that had begun to fall. She had been so lost in thought she hadn’t noticed that she’d started to cry. A feat she was beginning to think she was incapable of. Lexa looked at Clarke, confusion and concern in her eyes.

“Are you hurt Clarke?” Lexa asked softly.

“No, sorry. I uh, got lost in thought for a minute.” Clarke explained blushing with embarrassment.

“Not pleasant thoughts from the looks of it.” Lexa commented. There was no harshness in Lexa, no irritation at Clarke’s apparent weakness.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since you left.” Clarke whispered. It was such a silent declaration that the room around them threatened to swallow.

“And this thought makes you cry?” Lexa asked, her heart acing at the thought.

“No! God no. I’m crying because I want my heart and my head to be on the same page for once.” Clarke explained. Lexa knew that Clarke was struggling, she just wished she knew why. Sky People seemed to carry their guilt so heavily for such a long time. Even if there was no reason for them to feel it in the first place. Clarke still felt for Finn, even though she knew that what she had done was a mercy. What Lexa and her people would have done would have been much worse.

“I wish I could help.” Lexa said. If she could take the guilt Clarke felt from the blonde, she would, without a second thought.

“You being patient is enough.”

“Then I shall be patient.” Lexa promised.

“Thank you.”

After the slight detour Lexa and Clarke ventured off into the forest. Clarke following Lexa, trusting the Commander. Lexa promised to show Clarke the beauty of the trees. The magic that could be found only if you knew where to look. They walked, taking about trivial things, neither wanting to touch on serious topics. Clarke talked about how Camp Jaha was fairing since the peace. And Lexa talking about Polis.

“At night, there are feasts. Huge celebrations with music and dancing.” Lexa explained we they stopped at a clearing. There was a small creek that split the clearing in half.

“Every night?”

“Most nights. The warriors like to remember the pleasures of life. It makes them fight harder to keep peace.” Lexa said.

“Pleasures?” Clarke had a feeling she knew what that meant.

“Most take lovers by the end of the feasts.” Lexa saw a look cross over Clarke’s face, a storm raged in Clarke’s blue eyes.

“Do you?” Clarke asked. She knew she had asked Lexa to wait, and Lexa had said that she would. But what right did Clarke have to ask Lexa to be celibate? Lexa stopped walking, looking at Clarke and seeing that the storm in Clarke’s eyes was jealous.

“You’re jealous.” Lexa stated, the amusement that dripped from her voice made Clarke’s cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“You don’t have to sound so pleased about it.” Clarke grumbled. The amusement drained from Lexa’s face as she walked towards Clarke, invading the blonde’s personal space until they were mere inches apart and Clarke could swear that she could feel the heat from Lexa’s body.

“The thought of you with others makes my blood boil Clarke. I promise, I have not shared my bed with anyone since we have met.” Lexa promised.

“Aren’t people suspicious? That you don’t.” Clarke didn’t know why she kept asking questions like this. Especially when she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answers.

“Why do you wish to know these things Clarke?” Lexa asked lowly.

“I don’t know. Maybe peace of mind while you’re gone.” Clarke answered.

“I have no interest in anyone else Clarke. Even to satisfy needs I may feel sometimes.” Lexa said. She wouldn’t deny it, she was human. Here had been suspicions when she had denied the advances, but no one questioned her. “Let your mind be at peace Clarke.”

“Sorry, you must think I’m really selfish.”

“Why would I think that?” Lexa asked in a low voice, her head ducked to try and meet Clarke’s downturned gaze.

“Telling you I’m not ready, but then telling you I don’t want you to be with anyone else.” Clarke knew that she was asking Lexa for a lot.

“It takes as long as it takes Clarke. I can be patient. I just wish I knew what it was that made you hesitate. I will not mistreat you.” Lexa promised.

“I know you won’t. We’re both haunted by the scars of our past Lexa. Don’t you think we need to reconcile that before we jump into something we’re not ready for?” Lexa had to admit that Clarke had a point. As much as she didn’t want to admit it.

“When are we going to stop allowing the past to dictate our future?” Lexa didn’t expect an answer. She just wanted Clarke to think about it. She continued to walk, leaving Clarke to catch up with her.

“Where are you taking me?” Clarke asked jogging to keep up with Lexa.

“This creek leads to a waterfall.” Lexa answered.

The waterfall looked too perfect to be real. It wasn’t a raging waterfall, the flow of water was steady but not deafening. And the water filled a small lake, barely more than a pond of crystal clear blue water. Clarke dropped her back next to the edge of the lake, hearing the sound of the water crashing into it, she wanted to get her sketchpad and start drawing it. Her art supplies was the only thing that she had taken from the Mountain.

“It’s beautiful.”

“The water comes from the mountains, be careful it is deceptively deep.” Lexa said sitting beside Clarke, she was glad to see the admiration on Clarke’s face. This was one of her favorite places, she to it a lot when she was younger and the weight of Command bore down on her shoulders so heavily it nearly broke her.

They stayed at this small piece of paradise for most of the morning. Clarke did eventually pull out her sketchbook, needing to capture the beauty that lay before her. Lexa watched, content to sit with Clarke. When Clarke was finished with her sketch, she looked up and found Lexa laying on her back staring up at the sky. She seemed so at ease Clarke would have thought that Lexa could be sleeping. But her eyes were open.

“You are staring Clarke.” Lexa commented after a few minutes.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asked.

“Staring at the clouds. That one looks like a bear.” Lexa said pointing. Clarke looked up at the large white cloud and tried to see how Lexa would think that a cumulus cloud formation would look like bear. She remembered learning about clouds and weather patterns during school on the Ark. But she didn’t think that Lexa would be interested in hearing about the Lexa cared about the scientific facts of clouds.

“A bear?”

“It is a game that the children play sometimes, after they have finished with their lessons for the day. I used to watch them do it. I wasn’t allowed to, so, sometimes I would sneak away and I would stare up at the sky on my own.” Lexa explained watching the clouds moving across the sky. She didn’t have time to do this much in her life.

Lexa looked over at Clarke when the blonde moved to lay next to her, their shoulders touching down their arms until finally parting at their forearms. Though it wouldn’t have been difficult to reach out and touch the skin of Clarke’s hand, Lexa stopped herself. Looking up, Clarke was determined to try. Of course it didn’t help that a lot of the animals that she had seen had come from pictures.

“We didn’t have this game on the Ark. There are no clouds in space.”

“Try it. Look up and tell me what you see.” Clarke did as she was instructed. Trying to give names for the shapes that she saw.

“I don’t see anything.”

“For an artist, you lack a great deal of imagination Clarke. Look there.” Lexa said pointing upwards where she saw a cloud formation that looked more like a rabbit. “See there, the ears, the tail.” Tracing the edges with her finger Lexa glanced at Clarke to see if Clarke saw it.

“I see it.” Clarke said finally, a smile on her face.

They played this game for a while longer, once she got the hang of the game it was hard to look at the clouds and not see the shape of an animal or an object of some sort. There were some that Lexa was sure Clarke was making up.

“When did you learn how to write?” Clarke asked suddenly. They had been laying in silence for the past few minutes so her outburst was a surprise.

“When I was a child. Anya taught me. Most of my people can’t read or write. Only those who mind it beneficial. We like to share our stories verbally. But most of my Generals can read, at least a little.” Lexa explained. She knew what the Sky People thought of them. Primitive and savage, with none of the advancements of the Ark. She looked forward to proving them wrong.

“I’m sorry if that was offensive.”

“I take no offense. I know what your people think of mine. Unfortunately, you will find similar stereotypes against your people when you come to Polis. Because we are savages are we not?” Lexa asked. Clarke looked up sharply at Lexa, ready with a quick argument. But she stopped when she saw that Lexa was teasing her.

“That was a long time ago.”

“A month is a long time? I wonder what you Sky People think of a year.”

“I just didn’t think that there were any books left to teach people to read.” Clarke said sadly. There was what she had found in the Mountain. But outside the fortress walls of the Mountain, Clarke had figured that something as fragile as books would have burned up when the bombs fell.

“The Mountain Men were not the only ones that valued books. When the world ended. I can show you one day.” Lexa said with a proud grin. She had read a good number of the books in her collection but she doubted that she would be able to read them all before she died.

“That sounds nice.” Clarke said.

Lexa heard them first, having spent years training her ears to know the sounds of the forest. And Sky People were so loud anyway. Even Octavia, though she had gotten better, she still sounded foreign in the woods. Clarke noticed the change in Lexa, the way she tensed and sat up. Before she could ask what was wrong Clarke saw Bellamy walk out of the forest with Octavia and Lincoln.

“Your people miss you.” Lexa commented. Though she was disappointed that her time with Clarke was being intruded upon, she shouldn’t be surprised. Clarke’s people needed her.

“Can’t they just give me one day?” Clarke groaned.

“They probably think I’m kidnapping you.”

“How did they even know where to find us?”

“Lincoln knows I come here.” Lexa said standing to greet the small group. Lincoln at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“What are you guys doing here?” Clarke demanded. The surprise on Bellamy’s face at Clarke’s hostility made Lexa bite back a smile.

“Your mom told us to come get you for lunch. You missed breakfast.” Bellamy said defensively.

“All of you?”

“Lincoln was the only one who knew where you were. Octavia follows him everywhere” Bellamy said receiving a shove.

“Are you hungry?” Lexa asked. She hadn’t thought of food, she often forgot to eat. Her training as a warrior allowed her to go days with little food. Clarke did feel the twinge of hunger, if it hadn’t meat cutting short her time with Lexa she would have agreed.

“No.” Clarke lied. Lexa knew Clarke was lying.

“Lincoln, Skai Kru laik enti.” Lexa said reaching for her knife. Lincoln nodded.

“Das yu Heda.”

“Where are you going? Clarke asked watching Lexa and Lincoln prepare to venture into the woods.

“You are hungry. Lincoln and I will go hunt.”

“We have food back at the camp.” Clarke insisted.

“Thank you Heda. We’re honored.” Octavia interrupted. Clarke looked at her friend, curious at her interruption. Lexa and Lincoln continued into the forest. “You idiot. She was offering to hunt for you. Refusing would have been an insult. Like you doubt her skill or something.”

Clarke sighed, frustrated in Lexa’s constant need to prove her ability as a warrior, or a hunter, she didn’t need to prove anything to Clarke. Clarke was already impressed.

“So what’s up with you and the Commander?” Bellamy asked. He had missed a lot when he was in the mountain. And though he was able to put some of the pieces together. There was definitely something going on between Clarke and Lexa.

“We’re just friends.”

“Uh huh.” Octavia said clearly not believing that.

“It’s complicated.”

“Looks pretty straightforward to me. You’re into the Commander and she’s into you. So why haven’t you done something about it?” Octavia demanded. It was impossible not to see the tension that crossed between Clarke and Lexa whenever they were in the same room as one another.

“We’re working on it.”

“Stop working on it and go for it Clarke! You deserve a chance to be happy.” Octavia pressed. She had watched Clarke deny herself happiness.

“I don’ even know how a relationship would work between us. She lives in Polis, and I live here.”

“Stop looking for reasons why this shouldn’t work. And think of all the reasons why it will work.”

Clarke didn’t get a chance to respond, Lexa and Lincoln emerged from the forest. Each of them carrying a fresh kill, it looked like rabbits or some small birds. They were already skinned, Clarke was grateful for that. She had seen a lot of terrible things but she still couldn’t deal with the butchering of animals. There just seems to be such brutality in it, though there was a necessity for it. Lexa sat down beside Clarke, setting down the animals while Lincoln made a small fire. It all seemed so natural to them Clarke thought, realizing that Lexa had probably been doing this her whole life.

Lexa rummaged through her bag and found a small satchel of herbs that she had brought with her from the capital. Sprinkling the contents over the meat as it cooked. When the food was done Lexa separated out everyone’s portions and they all took a bite. The meat that they had at camp was good, it served its purpose. But it was bland. They didn’t have spices or any seasonings. But hen Clarke bit into her portion she tasted not just the meat but the seasonings that Lexa had sprinkled. It was salty and peppery, an explosion of favor on her tongue. She wasn’t the only one who thought so, if the less than innocent moa that escaped Octavia’s lips was any indication.

“This is so good.” Clarke said.

“Spices from Polis.” Lexa answered glad that Clarke liked it.

“I never realized how much I’d miss salt and pepper.” Bellamy said around a mouthful of meat.

The small group ate their fill before all laying back on to the grass with their bellies full. This time there was a relaxing, just the five of them. Talking and joking around like friends, and Lexa almost felt like one of them.

Before either of them knew it the sky had begun to grow dark, the bright blue of the sky had given way to darker hues of blues and purples. The sun was rapidly making its way towards the horizon again and Clarke felt the sinking in her stomach knowing that meant that Lexa would need to leave soon. Lincoln took Octavia and Bellamy back to Camp Jaha letting Clarke and Lexa had some time together.

“I’m sorry about them.” Clarke said apologetically.

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted to spend today just with you. You didn’t have to be nice to them, but you were.”

“They are your friends Clarke.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I’m not even supposed to be here now.”

“Still, I wish you could stay. Just one more day.” Clarke said reaching out and taking Lexa’s hand. Lexa looked down at their joint hands.

“Come to the capital with me.” Lexa requested.

“I…I need to be here.”

“Your people are fine Clarke. They have your mother and your council. I want you to come to the Capital with me.” Clarke wanted to say yes, she desperately wanted to go anywhere Lexa was. To follow Octavia’s advice, and do something for herself for once.

“I can’t go right now. I need to make arrangements.” Clarke said watching Lexa’s eyes light up.

“But you’ll come?”

“In a couple weeks. I might be bringing people with me, I don’t think that my mother will let me go alone. But yes, I’ll come to the capital.”

“You could bring all of Camp Jaha for all I care. As long as you come.” Lexa said excitedly. Clarke laughed, she had never seen Lexa like this. The Commander’s green eyes were wide, and sparkled like emeralds in the sun, and her excitement made it impossible for her to stand still.

“Careful what you wish for Commander.”

“Two weeks Clarke. Two weeks, or I’m coming here to get you.” Lexa promised. Clarke laughed at the playful threat as they began walking back to Camp Jaha.

 

**Next chapter, Clarke arrives in Polis.**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Aw man, so I totally failed on the updating every Wednesday. I hope I can bribe forgiveness out of you guys with a longer update.**

Chapter Nine

Lexa arrived back at the Capital just as dawn was breaking, her body ached with exhaustion and all she wanted to do was go to her room and sleep the morning away. Handing the reins of her horse to one of the attendants who came to greet her, Lexa saw that she was expected. Waiting for her at the entrance to the palace, Cole and beside him Talia, and neither of them looked pleased.

"You were gone an entire day without telling anyone where you were going. And you didn't take a guard." Lexa rolled her eyes and walked into the hall towards her room. She knew that they were both following her, she knew them well enough to know that they weren't going to leave her alone.

"I was in Tondc. And I told Cole where I was going." Lexa corrected, looking over her shoulder and seeing her General avert his eyes. Being home had changed Lexa. Or maybe it was something else. She didn't know, nor did she care to dwell too much on it. But before, she never would have called Cole out for his knowledge of her whereabouts with the sole intention of getting him in trouble with Talia.

"You said you were going to Tondc. You were not in Tondc."

"Talia." Lexa warned, turning towards the older woman.

"You went to see her." Lexa didn't blink at the accusation, she wasn't surprised that Talia knew that.

"Is that why you're angry? Because I went to see Clarke?" Lexa asked. She was tired, and she wanted to hold onto the image of Clarke's face so that maybe she could dream about the blonde Sky Princess.

"Lexa-."

"Leave us Cole." The General bowed his head and left the two women alone. He had no desire to get in between the argument that was about to transpire.

Once they were alone, Lexa turned her attention back to the older woman. Talia stood inches taller than Lexa but Lexa didn't let it bother her. Lexa was far more imposing of a personality than Talia. But as soon as the anger was there, it was forgotten just as easily. Talia was the only one who could talk to Lexa like this. But only in private. Those were the terms of their arrangement.

"Speak freely." Lexa said, her face softening.

"I know why you went. You have feelings for this girl." Lexa looked down, Talia could read Lexa better than anyone, better than Anya or Costia ever good. It was the benefit of knowing Lexa her whole life.

"Are you going to tell me that it is unwise?"

"Truthfully? I am glad to know that you still can. After Costia, I was worried."

"But?" Lexa knew that there was more.

"She is not of our Clan."

"That is actually one of the things I like most about her. I do not have to be Heda with her, I can be myself. Like I am with you." Lexa explained. She began to shed her outer wear, she had been riding in it all night and wanted nothing more than to be free of it.

"Then take her as your lover." Talia said as if it were a simple matter.

"I would not do that to her."

"There is great honor in being the Commander's lover."

Lexa felt anger rise in her, churning in the pit of her stomach as she thought about it. Clarke would be respected as Lexa's chosen lover, given the same benefits as the station demanded. But she would be considered beneath Lexa. Her opinions would not be listening to in matters of war or peace. She would no longer be seen as a Leader of her people. Lexa couldn't do that to Clarke.

"I will not make her my play thing."

"Play thing? Is that how you view me?" Lexa cursed under her breath. Hurting Talia was not what she had wanted either.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. But Lexa, the people, the other Clan Leaders, they won't accept her as anything else. And you cannot sacrifice everything you've built just for your heart."

Lexa hated that she knew what Talia said was true. There was no room for her heart to make decisions, no matter how much she wanted it.

"I can't be without her." Lexa said quietly. And it was as much a revelation to Talia as it was to Lexa. She hadn't known how much she'd meant those words until had spoken them.

Talia had been there before Costia, before Clarke. Talia's place in Lexa's heart came first. Talia saw the younger girl's pain, saw her struggle and felt for her.

"You plan to marry her then?" Lexa heard the question, as well as the poorly concealed surprise that came with it.

"I do not know."

"You barely know her. You've known her a month and during the war. People are different after wars end." Talia said truthfully. She had seen it, words spoken when the heat of battle still made warriors blood boil seldom hold true once the battle is over.

"Do not lecture me on battle Talia. I know her as well as I need to. Why are you trying to take this from me? You know how much I have suffered."

"I do not want to take this from you Lexa. Just don't want to see you hurt. A match with the Sky Princess may never be accepted by the people. She is not one of us. They will not trust her to lead them."

"They will learn. As I did. Clarke helped bring down the mountain. Without her-."

"Without her 300 of your warriors would still be alive." Talia said.

"We attacked them."

"Blood must have blood, Lexa."

"I will hear no more of this." Lexa stated finally. She didn't want to hear these truths. Not when her heart only wanted to feel the exhilarating rush of love.

"Does she know the power she holds over you?" Talia asked with a small smile. Contrary to her warnings she did want Lexa to be happy.

"No."

"You had better hope she never finds out." Talia teased.

* * *

"You did what?" Abby demanded, arms crossed and temper flaring after Clarke had told her of her plans to go to Polis. Clarke stood defiantly before her mother, arms crossed mirroring her mother's posture. Abby knew that Clarke didn't have the same inhibitions about the Grounders as she did. But to willingly chose to walk into a Grounder city. Not just a Grounder camp but where most of their population lived, that seemed to bypass bold and go straight into insane.

"I'm going to Polis in two weeks. Lexa invited me, she wants to show me the ways of her people. She told me of markets and entertainment, and the kind of things that we're going to want now. This is home now. We can't keep living like we did on the Ark. We're not going to run out of air, we have more room than we know what to do with, and we're getting really good at finding food. I want to do more than survive mom." Clarke argued. She had watched as people just continued on as if they were on the Ark. People still did the same jobs that they had on the Ark because that was all they knew. No one seemed to be curious at all about the world that surrounded them. Clarke didn't want to say it out loud, but she had a good feeling that many of them were looking towards Abby. They wanted to see what she would do.

"What about the Mountain? We're still working on trying to find a cure for the people that still live there."

"You can still work on that. You don't have to come with me."

"Of course I'm coming with you." Abby declared as if the idea of her not going was preposterous.

"This isn't a political visit mom."

"Clarke, the Grounder's view you as our Leader. If you're going to their city, it's a political visit."

"Trikru." Clarke said suddenly. Abby blinked in confusion, she'd heard the term before. Marcus used it on a number of occasions.

"What?"

"You keep calling them Grounders. We're all Grounders mom. Lexa's Clan is called the Trikru. If you're coming with me to the capital then you should stop calling them Grounders." Clarke offered.

"Alright, the Trikru will consider this a political visit."

"Then we need to figure out who is going to come with us."

They talked for a while longer about who should accompany them. Clarke knew that it would be impossible to convince Bellamy to stay. Octavia would want to go if Indra allowed it, Clarke made a mental note to ask Lincoln to go as a sort of translator of customs and language for them. And Raven, Clarke wanted Raven to come with them to see if there might be anything that the Trikru had that they could use in their own camp. Raven knew Camp Jaha better than anyone, she'd spent enough time trying to fix it.

"She's responsible for Finn's death." Clarke had just exited the medical tent when she heard Raven's voice behind her. Turning, Clarke saw Raven leaning against the structure. The brunette looked angry, Clarke didn't blame her for it.

"I'm responsible for Finn's death." Clarke corrected. She was surprised she could say it without her voice breaking. Still, the mention of Finn made her insides ache. Clarke was beginning to think that it always would.

"You saved him from torture. What you did was a mercy. It's different." Raven corrected. They had their differences, their friendship didn't make sense but Raven considered Clarke to be her person. They were friends on a level she never thought she could have with someone. Even though, logic dictated that she should hate Clarke. Clarke was the other woman. Clarke had stolen Finn away from her. But Raven couldn't fault Clarke for that. And she had tried.

"And what she did allowed us to have peace. I'm not saying it isn't screwed up Raven. It is. Finn never should have killed those people. He never should have turned himself in. A lot of things shouldn't have happened. But they did. He should still be here to enjoy this peace that we have because of him. But he isn't. We can't keep living in the past." Clarke said. Raven knew that Clarke was right, but she was so used to being angry now. So used to carrying around her own guilt for Finn's death. Finn was sent to Earth on the dropship instead of her. She didn't know how to let that go.

"Your right. He wouldn't want that. Doesn't make it any easier though." Raven said.

"I'm not saying that you guys need to be best friends. But, Lexa could have killed everyone in this camp. But she didn't."

"She didn't kill us because of you Clarke."

"She didn't know me then." Clarke argued. That may be true now, though Clarke really didn't want to test that theory.

"Face it Clarke, the Commander has a soft spot for you." Raven didn't like Lexa, she wasn't sure she ever would. But she could at least acknowledge that the Commander made Clarke smile. She'd seen it, just glimpses of it on Clarke's face.

"Don't let her hear you say that."

"So, when are we leaving for the capital?" Raven asked straightening up, she didn't like having mushy, emotionally driven conversations. She would much rather talk about something more neutral.

"Two weeks. You're okay to come with?"

"I may not like the Commander. But, if she's going to be dating one of my best friends, I'm going to be there to make sure she doesn't screw it up." Clarke laughed, a genuine and deep belly laugh, at Raven's words. It was heartwarming to know that Raven cared enough about her to try and move on from what happened.

"Thanks Raven."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

Two weeks seemed to be an eternity and also a millisecond as they planned their trip to the Capital. As the days past more and more of the Trikru arrived to lend their services. Most of them from Tondc, Clarke saw more of Octavia that way, and Indra. She still didn't know how Indra felt about them going to Polis, but she hadn't been keen to ask either. They were going to ride. Indra had provided them with the horses that they would need. So one of the days was spent teaching everyone how to ride. Clarke still wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of it. But watching her mom try and ride was comedy gold.

"Clarke of the Sky People." Clarke looked up from the saddle she'd been fiddling with to find Indra standing before her holding the reins of a horse. The horse was a beautiful mare that was a chocolate brown color with a white stripe down the length of her nose.

"Indra." Clarke greeted, though her attention was on the horse.

"The Commander wishes for you to have this horse." Indra offered, holding out the reins.

"It's beautiful."

"She belonged to Anya." Clarke's attention snapped to Indra, the meaning behind such a gesture was not lost on Clarke.

"Anya." Clarke whispered the name.

"Anya called her Zog Raun." Indra said watching Clarke take the reins and move towards the horse slowly, unsure what the mare would do.

"What does that mean?"

"To strike."

"Sounds like Anya."

"This horse was Anya's pride and joy, after the Commander. Treat her well, she is yours now." Indra said before walking off and leaving Clarke with the horse. The mare shifted her weight, eyes darting around until they seemed to settle on Clarke. Running the back of her fingers along the horses nose, feeling it move in front of her.

"Hi." Clarke said softly, thought she felt a little strange talking to a horse. She'd seen it in movies, read it in books, people talking to animals. But it still felt foreign. Still the majesty of the beast standing in front of her was breathtaking.

* * *

"I never thought that I would see this day." Lexa didn't look up towards Talia, looking out instead at Polis. From her room she could see the entire city in all of its glory. It was a view that she wanted to commit to memory. But she was looking beyond the city. She was looking at the gates of Polis, waiting. She was waiting for Clarke and the envoy from camp Jaha to arrive.

"What day?" Lexa asked.

"The day that I see you sweating and nervous." Lexa laughed at the description. She had been nervous all day, knowing that Clarke was going to arrive later that morning. Her palms were sweating and she couldn't focus on anything other than the Sky People's arrival.

"I am not." Lexa insisted.

"The scouts said that they are only an hour away." Talia said.

"All the arrangements have been made?"

"Everything is set. You need to get dressed. You do not want to greet the Sky People looking like that." Lexa wore her comfortable clothes, the clothes that people were not supposed to see her in.

Lexa turned away from the window and walked to where her armor hung, it was polished and any damage was repaired until it looked almost new. Talia helped her dress, handing her the pieces she would need to wear in the appropriate order until Lexa had transformed from the girl, to the Commander. In the corner of the room there was a desk with a chair, on the desk was a small container that held Lexa's war paint. She could apply the color by feel at this point, she had done it so much over the course of her life. But now, she let Talia apply the paint. Feeling Talia's fingers brush against her cheeks.

"I feel like I am losing you today." Talia said.

"You can never lose me." Lexa promised. Talia smiled sadly, not entirely believing Lexa's words but she didn't want to delve into it now. Not when she had seen Lexa buzz with excitement for the past two weeks.

"Come, you have to finish getting ready."

* * *

They had been riding for hours and Clarke was sure she had never been sorer, her hands were starting to blister and her thighs were aching from sitting on the saddle for so long. But she didn't say anything. She just continued following Indra's lead. The stoic woman had told them that they were close to the city, and judging from the increased number of Trikru that she had seen in the trees, Clarke believed it.

For most of their trip it had been nothing but thick forest and bushes that they had needed to form their own paths to. The horses seemed to know where to go without prompting. And then suddenly, the forest melted away, and there it was. Polis. Clarke let her eyes drink in the sight before her, hardly believing what she saw. It was magnificent. There were houses, made of stone instead of wood, all of them surrounding a large building. Built on the foundation from the old world, it was a large structure on the edge of the water. The building was six stories high and towered over everything else. It was a palace.

"This is Polis?" It was like Rome from the ancient world. A Mecca that people flocked to, a living and thriving city filled with hundreds if not thousands of people. Everyone stood stunned, except for a brief glance towards her mother Clarke saw the awe in her face too. The disbelief that such a "savage" race had built something so amazing.

"No outsiders have been allowed within the gates of this city for generations." Indra said in her usually disapproving tone. "Come, the Commander waits for you."

Riding through the city, Clarke found it almost impossible not to want to explore. There was a single road that led from the gate to the palace. Clarke lead the rest of the convoy but her only thought was to see Lexa. She looked around the city, as much of it as she could see anyway. It seemed like all of Polis had come to see the Sky People. There were hundreds of them, and they looked so different than the warriors that she was used to seeing. There were children, and there were elderly people, none of them wore armor they didn't wear war paint. They were just people.

When they finally rode up to the front of the palace there was an assembly of people, some of them Clarke recognized. They were the generals of Lexa's army. Lexa stood tall and proud, in all of her glory. And she watched their approach with a stoic expression, if Clarke didn't know her any better she would think that Lexa didn't are that she was there. But she knew that this was what her people expected of Lexa. They expected her to be impassive, she wasn't allowed to show any excitement to see Clarke.

But Clarke could tell that Lexa felt it, there were little signs that Clarke had learned how to read. And just seeing the anxious way that Lexa kept adjusting her grip on the hilt of her sword was the equivalent of Lexa bouncing with excitement.

"Clarke of the Sky People, welcome to Polis." Clarke looked at the woman that spoke. She hadn't ever seen this woman before. Her dark hair pulled back in braids like Lexa. Her skin was sun kissed, and she had the beginnings of wrinkles around her eyes. Clarke dismounted her horse gracefully, her eyes flickering between Lexa and this woman.

"Thank you for having us here." Clarke answered. No one had told her what the protocol would be for meeting with Lexa in Polis. But she guessed that simple etiquette would work just fine.

"I am Talia, I speak for Heda."

Lexa watched the confusion cross over Clarke's face, and then felt Clarke's gaze burn into her. She would need to explain how it works in Polis.

"Can she not speak for herself?" Clarke asked. Talia's eyes narrowed and she stepped closer to Clarke her voice dropping.

"Careful, this is not Tondc, you will be held responsible for the words you speak here." Talia warned, her voice held no malice as Clarke would have expected. She sounded only like she was warning Clarke. It was unsettling to not be greeted with hostility for seeming to challenge Lexa in public.

"My apologies."

"Shall we go inside? I am very eager to begin showing you around." Talia said leading them inside the large building. Lexa followed once everyone was inside. She knew that her people were still watching eagerly, the concept of seeing the Sky People had filled the capital with a strange energy, both excited and apprehensive.

When the heavy wooden doors were closed and they were alone in the entrance hall of the palace. Clarke stood with her people, Abby looking Talia over. They were similar in age, and Abby steeled herself, preparing to protect Clarke if she needed to. Lexa, inched to pull Clarke aside and truly greet her, welcoming her to the capital like she wanted to. But she couldn't.

"Welcome Skaikru." Lexa said.

"Not exactly the welcome I was expecting." Clarke said with a reproachful look. Her look cemented that Lexa knew exactly what she meant.

"Things are different in the capital. There are protocols that need to be followed. Tonight, there will be a feast to truly welcome the Sky People into the city. I am sure that is the joyous occasion that you are speaking of?" Talia asked. Clarke saw Bellamy shift behind her.

"Talia, will you show the Skaikru to their rooms and then bring them to the throne room?" Lexa requested. She didn't wait for Talia to answer before she turned and began walking off. Clarke wanted to yell at her to stop, she didn't expect that when she finally got to the capital like Lexa wanted, that Lexa would be so cold when she got there.

"Forgive the words that I spoke to you while we were out there Clarke of the Sky People. But here, it is not just Heda's guard that you need to be wary of should you insult her. The people are very protective of the Heda's honor too." Talia apologized surprising Clarke.

"It's okay. I didn't mean to, I was just curious why Lexa didn't say anything." Clarke said. Talia's eyebrow rose slowly, Clarke using Lexa's name so freely.

"Our ways are strange to you. I hope to help explain them to you. Please follow me, we've had rooms readied for you." Talia said turning and began walking. Clarke looked over her shoulder at her friends, each of them with the same confused look that she had, and they began walking.

Their rooms were kept in the west wing of the building. Talia explained things of note while they went, there were ghosts of the old world in the halls of the palace. But it had been turned over to look more like the Grounder culture. Floors were covered in animal pelts and walls were decorated in art. Clarke wanted to memorize each painting if she could. They walked with intention, Clarke noticed that Grounders didn't usually like to dilly dally, when they were going somewhere they were going with purpose.

"These are your rooms. There are three on the left, and four on the right. Your things will be brought up for you. Now please, I have a request, and my request is echoed by Heda. Please do not venture off without an escort. This is for your protection, there are many in the capital that are still unsure of the Sky People's intentions and Heda does not wish for any of your to be harmed." Talia said looking among the group. Knowing that they would be curious, and she did not fault them for that. But she wanted to make sure that they didn't do anything stupid in the meantime.

"I'd like to speak with the Commander. Now." Clarke insisted. Talia knew that Clarke would be a stubborn one, she could tell that her spirit was strong in that way.

"I had a feeling that you would. Come with me. The rest of you can settle in." Talia instructed. Abby stepped towards Clarke, the intention that she was going to go with Clarke evident. Clarke shook her head, indicating that she could handle this. For the moment, they would need to do as they were told.

Talia led Clarke into the large throne room, where Lexa stood looking down at a large round table. It was only when Clarke got closer she could see that craved on the wooden table was a map. It looked similar to the atlases she had studied up on the Ark, of how the world used to look before the bombs fell. But this one looked different, she didn't recognize any of the places on it. Lexa didn't look up, even though she knew that Clarke was there.

"Leave us, Talia. Please." Lexa said softly. Clarke tried to ignore the pang of jealousy that flared in her when she noticed how Lexa spoke to Talia. First, the older woman spoke for Lexa, and now she was able to inspire a request out of Lexa. Lexa didn't seem to be ordering Talia around, but she was asking.

"Who is she?" Clarke asked once they were alone.

"She introduced herself to you."

"A name is not an introduction Lexa." Lexa moved away from the table and sat in her throne. This one was larger than the one that Lexa had in Tondc. Clarke wondered if Lexa had one in every village that she might go to, just in case she had a need to go there.

"My relationship with Talia is complicated Clarke." Lexa offered, though it wasn't much of an answer. Clarke couldn't help but think of Finn, and how she had jumped into a relationship with him, only to find out about Raven after the fact. She didn't want that to happen again.

"Explain it to me." Clarke ground out, between gritted teeth.

"She was my predecessor's wife. She is who I left in charge when I was away." Lexa said watching the conflict cross over Clarke's face.

"I don't understand."

"Do you remember when we were in pauna's cage? I told you that the Spirit of the commander chose me." Lexa waited for Clarke to nod before she continued. "Because of this, Talia and I will always share a very close relationship. She was for a very long time the only person that I trusted."

"Are you…is she? Do you love her?" Clarke couldn't wrap her mind around what she was trying to say.

"It is not like that Clarke."

"I'm sorry." Clarke felt like she was overreacting now. Lexa stood up, and walked over to Clarke.

"You do not need to be jealous Clarke." Lexa said with a grin.

"Were you ever with her?"

"Clarke."

"Right, sorry. None of my business."

"When the previous Commander died, and it was suspected that I was being chosen to lead, Talia raised me. Up until Anya took me as her second Talia was all that I had known. It is the way of our people, if the spouse of the Commander survives the Commander then it is her responsibly to hold the seat of power until the next Commander is ready." Lexa explained. She wanted Clarke to understand, but she wasn't sure if Clarke would understand.

"Oh." It was all Clarke could bring herself to say. Her question wasn't answered, not entirely, but she could understand why Talia meant so much to Lexa.

"Talia will help teach you our ways. There is no one I trust more."

"Isn't that what you're going to do?"

"I am not a good teacher Clarke. That is why I have not taken a second. I do not have the patience of a teacher." Lexa said this, as if she were confessing a great weakness. Ashamed that she didn't have patience.

"You seem to do alright." Clarke complimented.

"Tonight, at the feast, you will sit with me and Talia. I would like it very much if you two got along."

"Lexa, I need to know." Clarke didn't have to finish her sentence for Lexa to know what Clarke was talking about. Clarke had to know if Lexa and Talia were in a relationship. Lexa stepped closer to Clarke, barely inches between them, and Clarke could feel the warmth of Lexa's body.

"You are the only one I have feelings for Clarke." Lexa said in a whisper. She lingered only a moment before she left Clarke standing by the table.

* * *

Night fell, and Clarke watched as the city started to light up like the stars. It was only then that she could truly appreciate the vastness of the city. As far as she could see there were houses lit. It hadn't seemed so big during the night. She could hear the sounds of conversation through the window, the smell of food cooking, and the general vitality of the city. It felt like a place that she could grow comfortable. She was already comfortable. She hadn't felt like this since the Ark was still in space.

They were all getting ready for the feast. And Clarke still had so many questions. She remembered what Lexa had told her about the feasts and how they general turned into orgies afterwards. A part of her wondered how her mother and Kane would react to seeing that. Jumping when her door opened Clarke turned and saw her friends all filing in.

"You almost ready Princess?" Bellamy asked.

"Almost. How are you guys finding the Capital?" Clarke asked. She hadn't seen her friends since they arrived.

"The rooms are great. Much better than sleeping on the ground." Octavia said. She and Lincoln may have christened the bed several times too.

"What's going to happen at the feast tonight Lincoln?"

"There will be a speech given by the Commander. And then more food than you will know what to do with. It'll be a good time."

"And afterwards?" Clarke asked with a raise of her eyebrow. Lincoln blushed and looked towards Octavia. He should have figured that Lexa told Clarke about what happened afterward.

"Afterward, if you do not wish to partake in the events of the night then you can return to your rooms. It is not required that you stay."

"Wait, what happens afterwards?" Raven asked.

"My people get a little wild." Lincoln said discretely. But Raven got the picture and soon they were all laughing at the idea.

"Oh man, I can just picture your mom's face." Octavia laughed.

"That's why I'm not going to tell her."

In the courtyard between the two wings of the palace there was a large tent set up, one that had not been there when Clarke had looked at the courtyard earlier. But it was filled with people, and several fires. Each fire had some form of meat roasting atop it, and the smell was divine. The tent that had been erected reminded Clarke of Lexa's war tent. When they walked in, Clarke expected it to look the same as it had back then. But the inside was mostly hollow, there were cushions for people to sit and socialize. Already there was music playing, drums and some sort of wind instrument.

Clarke sought out Lexa, the Commander was sitting on a raised seat, so that she could look down at the celebration but not quite be a part of it. She had removed her war paint and sat in a lighter form of her armor. But she still looked imposing, Clarke couldn't help but think she looked beautiful. There was a spot for Clarke to Lexa's right, while Talia already sat to her left. There were seats saved for Abby and Marcus close to Lexa so not to be insulting. As everyone sat down, Lexa stood, giving a short and to the point welcoming speech in Trigedslang, it reminded Clarke of something that Lincoln had said. That the warriors spoke English because their enemies did, but people in the villages weren't always as fluent in English.

As the food began to be brought in on full platters, people began to eat and converse in side conversations throughout the tent. Looking around Clarke couldn't help but be amazed by the way that it seemed so effortless. Everyone at the feast was so carefree. There was laughter and there was open conversation about anything and everything. Trikru, though wary at first, eventually approached Lincoln and by extension Octavia and began conversations that soon had everyone involved laughing. It was the beginnings of peace and Clarke was delighted.

"Do you like it?" Lexa asked leaning close to Clarke so that her words were not overheard. Clarke looked down to her mostly empty plate and then looked over at the Commander.

"The food is amazing." Clarke said. And she wasn't just being complimentary. The things that their cooks could do with spices made every flavor explode on her tongue in the most delightful way. There were vegetables that no longer had the unpleasant heavy earthiness that Clarke had found off putting before. But they were mixed with other complimentary flavors.

"I am glad that you like it." Lexa said. She had finished eating a while ago. She didn't usually eat to excess, even though her role provided her with the security of knowing she would never want for food. Lexa usually preferred to make sure that the food she didn't want or need be sent back out to the warriors who were still hungry.

"This is really nice Lexa." Clarke commented, meaning the feast, and the opportunity to socialize with the Trikru without the threat of warm looming over them.

"These happen all over the city. People can petition to come and join this one, have dinner with the Commander if they wish. I like to try and be accessible to my people." Lexa said with a proud look in her eyes.

"I'm sure they appreciate that."

"It's not a popular idea."

"Why not?"'

"Because the Heda is above the common person." Talia said having been listening to their conversation. Lexa seemed to deflate back into her chair, as close to a pout as Clarke thought that Lexa got.

"Wouldn't it help the people if they saw her more? She's their leader." Clarke argued.

"Which means she is too busy. If she spent her time going to every village within her territory then she would not have time to devout her attention to any of her duties." Talia knew that Clarke wasn't trying to be difficult, she was merely curious about their culture. But the first thing that she needed to do was instruct Clarke on when was appropriate to question things. In a public forum was not the time.

As the night continued, food and drink flowing freely. Grounder wine had a pleasant berry taste that Clarke found to be much better than Monty's moonshine. And it made her feel warm throughout her entire body, and her head swam pleasantly. But she wasn't drunk. Just pleasantly buzzed.

"You guys look like you're having fun." Clarke said as she sat down with her friends.

"How's the Commander?" Marcus asked. He had been keeping an eye on Clarke and Lexa, ever the politician he had to keep an eye out for the health of their alliance.

"She's alright. Stoic as always." Clarke answered putting a berry in her mouth and enjoying its sweetness.

"Who is Talia?" Abby asked. She wasn't sure how she felt towards the older woman that never seemed to leave Lexa alone. She didn't want to voice to Clarke her thoughts on the true nature of their relationship.

"She helped raise Lexa. She was the former Commanders wife." Clarke explained.

"What role does she play now?"

"She's Lexa's most trusted advisor. Lexa trusts her to rule in her name."

"She's someone that we'll need to get on the good side of." Marcus said.

"She seems nice. Lexa said that Talia will be in charge of teaching us their ways."

"Why can't the Commander do that?" Bellamy asked.

"She's busy. She'll be around, I guess." Clarke didn't like the idea. She had pictured in her mind that she and Lexa would be able to spend more time together once she was in the Capital. Clarke was beginning to miss the ease that she had access to Lexa when they were still at war. Now, it seemed if she wanted to see Lexa she would have to go through Talia and actually have a legitimate reason, instead of simply wanting to see the Commander.

Once the feast was finished, the music that had been playing when they arrived changed, it became louder with a rhythm meant to be danced to. Everyone turned and watched as dancers came in, scantily clad, each of them moving their bodies to the music in seductive ways. There were men and women dancers and as they weaved around the group of people.

"What's going on?" Abby asked averting her eyes when she noticed that one of the women wasn't wearing a top.

"Trikru celebration." Clarke laughed.

Abby left the feast as quickly as she could. Marcus remained, wanting to experience what the Trikru culture had to offer. The dancers moved as if on a choreographed circuit, moving around each group. By the time one of the women had paused in front of Clarke and her friend, there was a thin sheen of sweat covering her olive skin. She was a beautiful woman with dark eyes, and thick eye makeup. Maybe it was the alcohol but Clarke was thinking that it might be something more as her skin flushed while she watched.

Clarke looked over her shoulder and saw that Lexa was watching her, her green eyes looking dark. Lexa could see Clarke's reaction towards the dancer. Lexa tried not to let jealousy fill her as she watched Clarke's attention on the dancer. She didn't want Clarke to be looking at anyone else. Even if it was out of curiosity. She wanted Clarke to look at her with admiration. Clarke wasn't sure when she was aware that Lexa had left. But the next time she looked she found that Lexa's seat was empty, as was Talia's.

She didn't even think about it, and she was moving. Heading back into the palace in search of Lexa. She had been patient, and now she was determined to get the greeting from Lexa that she wanted. She wanted to see the carefree girl that had come to visit her against the advice of her council. She found Lexa walking away, possibly towards her room. She was alone.

"Lexa, wait!" Clarke called out. Lexa paused, but she didn't turn. She waited for Clarke to reach where she stood.

"I thought you wanted to learn about my culture." Lexa said.

"I would rather learn from you." Clarke insisted. Lexa smiled at the thought.

"Will you walk with me?" Lexa requested. As they walked, occasionally Lexa would feel Clarke's hand brush against the back of her own. She had seen people do this. Hand holding. It was meant to be a gesture of affection, at least that's what she had gleaned from it. But she had never done it. Costia had tried once, to hold her hand while they walked through Polis but Lexa had been forced to pull her away. Lexa's skin itched for Clarke's, wondering what it would feel like to take the blonde's hand in hers. To feel the softness of Clarke's hand.

Clarke noticed the flexing of Lexa's hand, tightening into a fist and then relaxing, tightening and relaxing. She could guess what Lexa was thinking. Decisively she reached out and interlocked her fingers with Lexa's, sliding her fingers between Lexa's and feeling the warmth there. The strength in them, and the coarseness of a life spent working hard for everything she had in life. Lexa looked down at their suddenly joined hands. Her first instinct was to pull her hand away, but she stopped herself and allowed their hands to remain locked together.

For several minutes they stood silently, their hands joined. Clarke wasn't sure what Lexa would make of it. And then she felt Lexa's grip tightening slightly, firmly establishing that it was happening, and that it was okay. And then they started walking again.

"I've been thinking?" Clarke started.

"An ominous statement."

"I think that I'm ready."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hiya folks, this chapter is a little more Clarke/Lexa oriented. And this is definitely where we start to flirt with the M rating. Nothing explicit. But the two of them are getting closer.**

Chapter Ten

"I think that I'm ready."

The silence that followed those words was deafening. It stretched on for so long that Clarke wondered if Lexa had heard her. But, Lexa just stood there, staring at her. Lexa's green eyes were unreadable, though Clarke had gotten really good at being able to tell what Lexa was thinking or feeling based on her eyes. It scared her that she couldn't tell what Lexa was thinking. Not knowing if Lexa had changed her mind. Maybe, since she'd been back home Lexa had found someone else she would rather be with. Someone who wouldn't pose such a difficulty, politically or otherwise.

"Do not let jealousy influence your decision Clarke." Lexa whispered. She didn't want to believe the words, she couldn't believe them. Not if she thought that Clarke was only saying them because she felt threatened. It was true that Lexa hadn't had to want for much in her upbringing. Her people felt it was their duty to cater to her every want and need. That included women, and men.

"I'm not." Clarke promised. When she had said the words, they hadn't been what Clarke had intended to say. But now that they were out, she was glad that they were. Raven and Octavia were right, what good was it doing denying herself the possibility to be happy? How could she deny the feeling that spread from her finger tips into her stomach, filling it with butterflies just from holding Lexa's hand? The fact that Lexa was letting her hold her hand was saying something.

"Clarke, if you are not ready to be in a relationship with me, I understand." Lexa said. A last attempt not to rush Clarke. But her will power, although impressive by most standards had its limits and there wasn't a word in Trigedslang or in English to describe how much she wanted Clarke.

"Lexa, I'm telling you. I want this." Clarke insisted, smile stretching her cheeks wide. She couldn't help but find Lexa's attempt at restraint endearing. Knowing that Lexa didn't have to wait for her, but she was willing to. It made Clarke surer that her decision was the right one. Lexa looked around the abandoned hallway, everyone was either at the feast or making themselves scarce so not to disrupt the Heda. When she was sure that there were no prying eyes upon them she moved forward. Pressing against Clarke, and leading their bodies into a small alcove in the wall.

Feeling her back press against the hard wall, Clarke gasped. She liked the feeling of Lexa's body pressed against hers. And the way that her body responded to Lexa's proximity was instantaneous, flushing with heat, her eyes widening ever so slightly and her breath quickening. Clarke expected Lexa's kiss to be hungry. The release of the tension that had been building between them. But it wasn't. Lexa pressed the softest kiss upon Clarke's lips, barely ghosting her lips across Clarke's. It was a kiss full of reverence, and gentleness, the kind that Clarke had never expected from Lexa. It was only a taste of what Clarke wanted, a tease to make her hunger for more. But just as she tried to deepen the kiss, Lexa pulled away.

Her eyes fluttered open after a few moments, when the feeling of Lexa's lips on hers had faded away. Lexa had put a few inches between them, but Clarke could still feel the warmth of the brunette's body. Her right hand still held captive in Lexa's. But her other hand was free to reach up and grasp Lexa behind the neck and bring their lips back together. The crushing force of the kiss made Lexa gasp, she didn't expect Clarke to be so forceful.

Catching Clarke's bottom lip between her own Lexa was quick to take control over the kiss. She had tried to be gentle, to show reserve. But, now that Clarke had shown what it was that she wanted, Lexa was more than willing to give it to her. Though she didn't want to let go, Lexa released Clarke's hand only to tangle it into her hair pulling her closer. The moan that followed was adding fuel to the flame that was beginning to burn in the pit of Lexa's stomach. Clarke's lips parting, hoping to coax Lexa into deepening the kiss. It worked. Lexa's tongue swept into Clarke's mouth engaging her tongue in a passion filled dance for dominance and drawing out a deep groan from the blonde.

They only parted when both of their lungs burned for oxygen, but even though their lips were parted they stayed close. Foreheads resting against one another, breath tangling between them and eyes still closed. They didn't speak, they didn't need to. Their closeness spoke the sentiment their words would not be able to do justice.

They moved away from one another slowly, reluctantly. But they didn't want to push their new found relationship. It was so new, so fragile still, that neither wanted to be responsible for pushing it too far. They started walking again, this time slower, wanting to prolong their time together until they reached Clarke's door.

"How chivalrous." Clarke commented with an almost loopy smile.

"I do not know this word." Lexa said.

"It means, you're courageous, and loyal, and courteous." Clarke explained. Lexa beamed with pride at the description. And the fact that it was coming from Clarke, that Clarke thought this of her, it made it all the more flattering.

"You think this of me?" Lexa asked, smile tugging at her lips.

"I know it."

"Sleep well Clarke." Lexa said watching Clarke disappear into her bedroom and shut the door.

Once inside her room, Clarke walked through her room. In a daze she changed into her sleeping clothes, other than the clothes that she had come to Polis with everything else she had was provided by the Trikru. And Clarke had to admit the clothes she wore were comfortable. A simple tank top and lose fitting trousers. She was learning that the Trikru valued simplicity in many of their things.

Laying down on the bed Clarke looked up at the ceiling. She didn't know how she was going to be able to sleep with her entire body still humming from that kiss. She fell asleep replaying the memory of the kiss.

* * *

 

The next morning Clarke woke up to a knocking on her door. One of the attendants summoning her to breakfast. Still sleep deprived Clarke only managed to brush her hair to make it look presentable. When she got into the throne room, she found the large round table covered in platters of food. Berries and meats, bread, all sorts of foods people would want for breakfast. Abby and Marcus already sat at the table, each of them drinking something that smelled deliciously like coffee. Bellamy followed her into the room, with Raven in tow.

"Good morning." Abby greeted as Clarke at down next to her and poured herself coffee.

"They have coffee. I knew I loved this place." Raven said.

"I'm glad you approve." Talia said breezing into the room with effortless grace. She looked gloriously well put together and it made Clarke self-conscious.

"Where did you find coffee?"

"We grow it. Not in large amounts. But, for special occasions we like to offer it. Heda told me that your people like this beverage." Talia said. She had never taken much of a liking to the drink, it was too bitter and the effects of it made her shake. When Lexa had tried it, the look on her face was comical.

"We're honored." Marcus said gratefully.

"Where is the Commander?" Clarke asked, noticing that Lexa had yet to join them. Neither had Octavia and Lincoln.

"She is probably in the arena. Our warriors wake at dawn and spend the early morning training. She will be along shortly." Talia said dismissively.

A few minutes later, the doors to the large room opened. Lexa walked in first, she looked like she had just come from training with her skin covered in a light sheen of sweat. She didn't have any of her armor on, in fact she was wearing a lot less than Clarke was used to seeing her in. She wore trousers made of leather that had been dyed black. They complimented her body well, accentuating the subtle curve of her hips. Her shirt, she either didn't care that it wasn't fastened all the way or she was too tired to be bothered. But as it was, Clarke was given a very generous view at Lexa's toned stomach.

"You look beat to Hell." Clarke jumped when she heard Bellamy's words, tearing her attention from Lexa to see that Octavia and Lincoln had also joined them.

"Early morning training." Octavia said dropping heavily into one of the chairs.

"If you want to be Trikru you must train as one." Lexa explained sitting down in her chair, stealing a grape from one of the plates.

"Yes Heda." Octavia agreed. Clarke couldn't help but notice the change in Octavia when it came her transition from Sky Person to Trikru. Octavia respected Lexa, similar to the way that Clarke thought Octavia respected her as a leader. But it was different with Lexa. Octavia followed Lexa because Lexa had proved to Octavia that she was worth following. She was a good leader.

Breakfast continued casually, it was surprisingly low key. There was no awkwardness, no silences that demanded to be filled with even more awkward conversation. Instead there were side conversations. Marcus had endless questions for Talia. And the woman to her credit answered each one without ever showing the faintest hint of impatience. But Clarke wasn't paying attention to them. Her focus was on Lexa. The brunette had only briefly acknowledged her with a nod as she entered the room. Clarke wasn't sure what she was expecting but she had hoped that she would get more than that from Lexa. Had she misread things? Was Lexa having second thoughts now? Maybe the night before didn't mean as much to Lexa as it did to Clarke.

And that was when she noticed it. She had been so lost in her self-doubt that she had been focusing on her plate. She hadn't noticed that Lexa had been staring at her. Practically devouring her with her gaze. Fighting, even if it was training, always got Lexa's endorphins heightened. When she woke up that morning, it had been from the most tantalizing dream about Clarke. She had woken up panting, and throbbing with arousal. Training had actually helped make that go away. But that didn't mean seeing Clarke didn't bring some of that feeling back.

"Commander, Talia mentioned an arena where you train. Do you also have entertainment there?" Marcus asked curiously.

"Occasionally. We use it mostly for training. I can show it to you later today if you would like."

"Heda, you have a busy day already planned." Talia commented quietly.

"Cancel it. The generals can wait." Lexa commanded. Clarke tried in vain to hide her smirk as Talia looked at Lexa indignantly. Like she wanted to say more, but couldn't because they were in public.

After breakfast was concluded, Clarke felt Lexa take her hand and pull her away from the rest of the group. She did it so quickly that Clarke doubted anyone had even noticed that they had gone. Lexa led Clarke into a smaller room behind the throne, it looked like a small meeting room. There was little in it, except for a rectangular table that could fit four maybe five people at it.

"Did you sleep well?" Lexa asked once the door was closed behind them.

"I did. How about you?"

"I had pleasant dreams." Lexa answered with a secret smile.

"Do you think Talia will be mad that you canceled your plans to hang out with us?" Clarke asked.

"I do not want to talk about Talia." Lexa said pulling Clarke to her. Clarke let herself be led into Lexa's arms, sighing into the gentle kiss that Lexa placed on her lips. The kiss didn't remain gentle for long, Lexa nipped against Clarke's bottom lip coaxing her lips apart for her. Clarke's hands found their way to Lexa's torso, without much material there it was easy for Clarke's hands to slide underneath and press against the taut muscles she found there. Lexa's breath hitched at the unexpected contact, breaking the kiss when she felt Clarke's nails drag across her abs, shivering in pleasure at the feeling.

Clarke hesitated when she felt the first scar marring Lexa's torso, it was one that Clarke knew well. She had been there to stitch Lexa up after Tondc. The reminder of how close she had come to losing Lexa, not once but twice was enough to make Clarke's chest ache with an almost unbearable intensity.

"It won't be the last Clarke." Lexa said, knowing that her words wouldn't make Clarke feel any better but the blonde deserved some sort of warning. Being in a relationship with the Commander was signing up for a lifetime of worry about if she was coming home from a battle, or being there as she was stitched up after countless injuries. It was a lot to ask of a person. Lexa still didn't know if Clarke truly understood what it was she was getting herself into.

"I know." Clarke said her eyes still on the scars. Some of them had faded with time, and they were barely visible anymore. But others, the deeper ones still showed. The ones that had probably been life threatening. Clarke wanted to know each of them, their stories, where they had come from.

"I am a warrior."

"I know." Clarke repeated, her voice firmer this time. Determined to make her peace with that, that she would always worry about Lexa when she went away, that Lexa would constantly be putting herself in dangerous situations. It made her feel protective of Lexa, wanting to keep Lexa from ever going out to battle again.

"Come, we have to get ready." Lexa said breaking Clarke's concentration on sad things.

An hour later, Clarke and her friends gathered together just outside the entrance of the palace. Abby looked over the group of people, noticing that most of them had adopted more local attire instead of the clothes that they had brought with them from the Ark. It was something that she was going to have to come to terms with. She couldn't say that she was completely comfortable with the integration between her people and the Tree People. She didn't know them, so she didn't trust them.

Abby watched as Talia appeared first, followed by Lexa. Both women walked together towards the door. Lexa was dressed as they were used to seeing her, in her armor. Abby saw her daughter's face when Lexa came into view. The smile that couldn't quite be contained. She knew the signs, Clarke was falling in love with Lexa. If she wasn't already. And that thought terrified her more than anything else. She could protect her daughter from most threats, or at least die trying. But she couldn't protect Clarke from a broken heart.

"Commander." Marcus greeted. Lexa returned the greeting with a nod of her head, but her focus was elsewhere. Ahead of her lay the heart of the city. Her city. And yet it still felt like such a foreign place. She spent such little time there, she could easily get lost in the labyrinth of streets. Her hand gripped her sword hilt, a comfort to herself.

"Heda, Indra and Cole have requested to guard you today." Talia said.

"Are we going to need a guard?" Abby asked suspiciously.

"Heda always needs a guard." Talia snapped.

"Do not worry Chancellor, I am sure if there is any problem I will be able face it." Lexa said beginning to walk and trusting that everyone would follow her.

"I don't think that your mom likes Talia very much." Raven commented following into step with Clarke.

"I think the feeling is mutual." Clarke replied eyeing the two women. She wondered which one of them would break first. Clarke doubted that Talia was someone who was used to being challenged. Aside from Lexa, Talia had the most authority in the city. The Tree People followed Talia in Lexa's absence.

The day was spent exploring the wonders of the city, wandering around the market place. Clarke watched the people as they reacted to seeing Lexa up close. Some fell to their knees and said prayers at her feet, others kept a respectable distance but kept their heads bowed, some it seemed were afraid to come near her at all. The people had the colder reaction to Clarke and the rest of her people, they were wary and distrustful. Treating them as if they were dangerous and might lash out at any moment and harm them. Mother's kept their children close.

"Do you like them?" Clarke jumped at hearing Lexa's voice behind her. She had been looking through a vendor that seemed to specialize in art supplies. She had been holding a set of what she guessed was paint. They only had the primary colors, but there was a lot that Clarke could do with those.

"I wasn't expecting to see art supplies." Clarke answered setting down the paints and turning to face Lexa.

"Why?"

"I guess I just figured that your people would only have the necessities." Clarke hoped that didn't sound as offensive as it seemed once she said the words.

"Art is a necessity. It is a skill that I don't have, but there are some that enjoy it very much." Lexa looked around, they were being left alone for the moment. Everyone else was occupied with different things they were looking at. Raven had found a vendor that had some of trinkets from the old world.

"They love you." Clarke commented. Lexa looked around, they were still the center of people's attention. Even if her guard was leaving them alone, they were being watched.

"They love the position I hold. Not me." Lexa deflected.

"I don't think that's true." Clarke said watching a little girl from across the square picking up a wooden sword and dueling with her brother. Most of the children had these swords, at least the ones that she had seen. Lexa had explained that everyone learned how to fight, even if that wasn't going to be their trade for the rest of their lives they needed to learn to defend themselves.

For a while they watched the children duel, their swings were grandiose, with far more coordination that Clarke was sure that she could muster. But, they were still children. After a particularly powerful swing by the older of the two of them, the little girl stumbled and fell, her sword flying and landing near Lexa and Clarke. Lexa stepped forward and picked up the wooden sword, it had a considerable weight to it. A proper training weight to get the children used to having to swing heavy swords.

When the little girl regained her footing she looked truly mortified, she couldn't have been more than five or six years old but she still had instilled in her the etiquette of their people. Lexa held out the sword for the little girl to take.

"Mochof Heda."

"Widen your stance, it will help your balance." Lexa instructed. The girl nodded, thanking Lexa again before she ran off. When Lexa returned to Clarke, there was a smile on Clarke's face that Lexa didn't understand.

"That was sweet."

"It was necessary."

By midday, they were finished with the market and had taken a break for lunch. The group had mostly fractured off into subgroups. Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln had ventured off on their own. No one had seen Jasper and Monty since breakfast, but Clarke hoped that their Grounder guards were keeping them out of trouble.

"I want to show you something." Lexa said leading Clarke away from the city. Sending Cole and Indra a look telling them that she did not want to be followed. Clarke didn't ask where they were going, she trusted Lexa enough to know that the brunette wasn't going to take her anywhere dangerous. They walked for a while until they were outside of the main hustle of the city, until Clarke could see there was a building that Lexa was leading her too.

Pulling back the door Lexa allowed Clarke to walk in first. She wanted to see the look on Clarke's face when she saw what was inside. The room was warm, but not unbearably so. The fires in the furnace were usually kept going. This was Lexa's sanctuary. At one end of the tent there was a forge, and right in front of it was a table. Along the walls was an array of weapons, swords and daggers, some of them were pretty simple in design while others were intricate and it was obvious that whoever made it had spent a long time making sure it was perfect. There were only a dozen, maybe a few more. But in them, Clarke could see the evolution of Lexa's skill as a sword maker.

"This is my sanctuary." Lexa said, watching Clarke take it all in.

"This is where you make your weapons." Clarke commented, remembering when Lexa had told her that she liked to make her own weapons.

"I may not be skilled with art. But, this is close, isn't it?"

"These are amazing." Clarke said looking at some of them up close.

"Pick one." Lexa offered.

"What?"

"I want you to have one. You need a weapon. And I want you to have one that is well made." Lexa said. It was clear that Clarke wanted to protest. But at the same time, she wanted to have one.

"I don't know how to fight."

"We can fix that."

"This one." Clarke said pointing at one that was hanging on the wall. Lexa picked it up, it was one of the first swords that she made. It was simple in design, but the blade was sharp.

Clarke held the sword in her hand, felt its weight, its balance. She liked how it felt in her hand. Lexa watched as Clarke tested it, proud that Clarke liked what she had created. It was obvious that Clarke needed training of how to wield the blade without hurting herself.

"First lesson, you have to train your body. Tomorrow morning you can train with me."

"I thought you said you weren't a good teacher." Clarke teased.

"Maybe, with you I want to be."

Clarke set the sword onto the table with a loud clank and closed the distance between them, Lexa pulled Clarke to her. Lexa smiled softly before bringing her lips to Clarke's, guiding the blonde backward until she was pressed against one of the table. For a few moments it seemed they were both content to let the kiss grow in intensity slowly. Until both of them wanted more, Lexa reached down and gripped the back of Clarke's thighs, lifting her easily onto the table.

"I have wanted to do this all day." Lexa whispered against Clarke's lips. Feeling Clarke' legs hook around her back, pulling her closer Lexa felt the warmth of Clarke's body pressed against hers. Clarke's fingers in her hair, tugging and caressing, sent a shiver down Lexa's spine and her eyes closed to savor the sensation. Staring at Lexa's newly exposed neck, Clarke couldn't help but lean forward and taste the skin so willingly offered to her.

Lexa's grip on Clarke's waist tightened in response to the delightful assault on her neck, Clarke was succeeding admirably at driving Lexa mad with want. The blonde was relentless, lavishing kisses along Lexa's neck, hot open mouth kisses that turned into less than gentle nips and bites.

"Clarke." Lexa whispered, pulling Clarke closer, feeling them pressed closely together Clarke moaned her appreciation at the increased contact. Clarke's thoughts were getting cloudy, it was intoxicating the effect she had on Lexa. Knowing that she could do this to the usually unflappable Commander. It made her head swim with arousal.

Deep down they both knew that they should stop. They were treading in very dangerous waters, but neither one could force themselves to stop. Lexa wanted to take Clarke right there on the table, to ravish her so thoroughly that Clarke wouldn't be able to form a coherent thought. Lexa wanted to worship every inch of Clarke's body until she had it memorized. And it was very hard for her to restrain that desire.

"If you do not stop, I will not stop." Lexa warned finally, her voice was barely more than a pant but the words were finally said. It took a moment for the words to sink in to Clarke's mind, but when they did she stopped, resting her forehead against Lexa's shoulder.

"Remind me why I want to stop?" Clarke asked hopelessly.

"Maybe someday, in the future. But not for the first time." Lexa said tenderly. Clarke looked up at Lexa, seeing how wide her pupils were and how rapidly her chest rose and fell with each breath. The Commander wanted Clarke. It was obvious. But the fact that Lexa was willing to wait, to make what they would share together something special, it warmed Clarke's heart.

"You're amazing."

"Come on, we should get back before they come looking for us." Lexa said pulling herself away from Clarke. Holding out her hand to help Clarke off the table. They both took a minute to compose themselves, to try and make it look like they hadn't just been making out, and to dampen the arousal that was still hammering through their veins. Finally, when they were both ready they left the forge, one of Clarke's hands locked with Lexa's while the other held the sword Lexa had given her.

 

**So...thoughts?**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the delay guys! And for the length of this chapter. It's a little short, it wasn't quite finished but I'm out of the country on vacation for the next two weeks and wanted to post something before I went. But thanks to the awesomeness of wifi it's possible i'll be able to update while I'm abroad. A few notes, if you're an Abby fan...this won't be your favorite chapter. I think that she has a lot of redeeming to do. As always, feedback is much appreciated.**

Chapter Eleven pt 1

To be fair, she wasn't completely in the wrong. At least, that was her story and she was sticking to it. Abby had been looking for Clarke, and no matter what her personal thoughts on the matter were, that also meant she was looking for Lexa. The two were always together now. And while Abby wasn't happy with the developing relationship between the Commander and her daughter, Clarke didn't seem to care what her mother thought.

Abby had been looking for Clarke, and found herself in the Commander's room. Though it was obvious that neither girl was present in the room Abby couldn't help her budding curiosity. Lexa's room was larger than any of the Sky People's rooms, understandably so. But it was filled with decorative accents that left no doubt that the room belonged to a Grounder. But it also held a warmth to it that didn't feel like Lexa. Like the room hadn't always belonged to Lexa. She was going to leave, knowing if she was discovered that it would not look good. But then she saw it.

Resting on Lexa's desk was a picture Abby knew very well. Inching towards the desk, needing to make sure she was seeing what she thought she was seeing. Laying on the flat surface of the desk were the original designs for the Ark. The paper had faded with time, what was once crisp white had faded to brown, but the image was unmistakable. She had only ever seen digital copies of the designs, assuming that the originals were destroyed when the bombs fell.

Reaching out a tentative hand, suddenly gripped with the urge to touch the pages, confirm they were real. Lexa's desk was covered in books, there were dozens of them, and knick knacks from the old world that Abby had only seen pictures of. There was a baseball resting at the corner of the desk on a stand, and a deck of cards that was obviously missing a good number of them.

"What are you doing in here?" Lexa's voice was harsh, and commanding. Abby spun around her grip on the pages loosening and sending them to the floor.

"I was looking for Clarke." Abby said quickly regaining her nerve.

"She is not here." Lexa answered walking into the room and closing the door behind her. Abby watched as Lexa moved past her, picking up what was dropped and replacing them back on her desk.

"I know."

"Why were you going through my things?" Lexa demanded turning to face Abby. Her eyes blazing with anger now that she had made sure that none of her things had been harmed.

"I saw that you had the plans to the Ark. I was curious."

"Curiosity does not give you the right to be in here."

"Where did you get all of these things?"

"Get out." Lexa growled.

"What are you doing with those designs?" Abby pressed. Now that she had seen some of the things that the Commander had access too, the idea that Lexa would know the lay out of the Ark made Abby nervous.

"That is none of your concern. Get out, before I make you leave." Lexa commanded.

"It is my concern, you have the lay out of the Ark. I need to know what you are doing with them." Abby said arms crossed.

"Get out. I will not tell you again." Lexa warned, her hand went to her sword and her grip tightened. Silently daring Abby to disobey her.

"Are you planning on attacking us? Now that you've made us vulnerable? Is that why you're studying the Ark? To know where we are vulnerable? You're getting close to Clarke, making her think that you have feelings for her so that you can go behind her back and slaughter her people." Lexa's anger flared, her blood boiling so hot she could only see red as she drew her sword and held it out to Abby's neck.

"LEXA!" Both women turned when they saw Clarke standing in the door way, her eyes wide at the scene that she had just walked in on. Lexa didn't lower her sword as the blonde came in. "Put the sword down Lexa."

"You do not command me Clarke." Lexa said through gritted teeth.

"Then tell me what is going on. I'm sure we can figure this out." Clarke promised, her voice soothing as if she were speaking to a predator, trying to talk it out of attacking.

"Speak Abby. Tell Clarke what you've done." Lexa said. Clarke looked towards her mother, she could see that Abby was afraid though she was trying not to show it.

"I was looking for you in here. And then I found the designs of the Ark. She's planning on attacking us Clarke, now that we're vulnerable." Abby said. Lexa watched as Clarke reached out and carefully pushed Lexa's blade out of the way. Lexa let her.

"What the Hell is wrong with you? They have been nothing but generous with us since we've arrived in Polis. They've fed us and clothed us, shown us around, and now you're going to accuse them of planning an attack? Seriously?" Clarke demanded angrily.

"What else would she be doing with the plans? What else isn't she telling us Clarke?"

"It doesn't matter what she was doing with the plans. Maybe she is trying to learn about us. We haven't been nearly as hospitable to her as she has to us. You are so suspicious of them mom, you're going to destroy this alliance. If you can't accept that we are allied with these people, then maybe you should go back to Camp Jaha." Abby saw the fury in her daughter's eyes and also the disappointment. Feeling the disappointment hit her harder than the anger did Abby turned and left.

Once alone Clarke turned towards Lexa. Lexa expected Clarke would be angry that she had drawn a sword on Abby. So it came as a surprise when Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck and pulled her close.

"I'm sorry." Clarke whispered.

"You owe no apology." Lexa said returning the embrace cautiously. Clarke could feel Lexa's hesitance and pulled away.

"She had no right to be in here, or to accuse you of planning to attack us." Clarke said.

"Her accusations were worse than that." Lexa answered putting her sword back in its sheath and moving away from Clarke.

"What do you mean?"

"Before you came in, what caused me to draw my weapon on her. She said that I was fooling you into having feelings for me. That I was luring you in so that I could go behind your back and attack your people."

"Oh."

"I would not do that to you Clarke."

"I know you wouldn't." Clarke answered so readily it surprised Lexa. Clarke closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around Lexa's neck and keeping the brunette close. Dipping her head to catch Lexa's gaze briefly before catching Lexa's lips in a soft, yet determined kiss. Clarke needed Lexa to know that she didn't doubt her. Lexa was reluctant to give into the kiss at first, but she never could resist for long. Not where Clarke was concerned.

"Thank you." Clarke whispered when they parted. Lexa's brow furrowed in confusion at Clarke's words. It was almost adorable.

"For what?"

"I know you could have done worse to my mother than you did. You didn't have to be so merciful." Clarke had gleaned at little about how Grounder laws worked. And what her mother did was well within Lexa's right to have Abby tied to a tree.

"She was fortunate that her display wasn't more public. Then I would have been forced to do something more. As it stands, I trust that you can handle your people as you see fit." Lexa said with a shrug. She didn't notice the way that Clarke looked at her, the adoration and the appreciation that came from Clarke's eyes.

"Thank you."

"Are you going to keep doing that?" Lexa asked with a humor laced voice.

"What?"

"Thanking me when I have no idea what I have done" Lexa asked.

"Probably."

"Then tell me Sky Princess, what are you thanking me for now?" There was a teasing lilt to Lexa's words now and Clarke felt a pleasant swell of affection for the Commander.

"For not doubting my ability as a leader. Most of my people think that because I'm so young I don't know how to lead. But you've never doubted me."

"It would be kind of hypocritical if I did." Lexa said.

Clarke pulled Lexa close, nuzzling her nose against Lexa's cheek until she tilted her head ever so slightly. An invitation that Lexa readily took. Pressing their lips together firmly, the brief kiss that they had just shared wasn't enough. Lips parted in sync and tongues met.

Sighing into the kiss Clarke felt Lexa's arms circle around her waist holding her close. The kiss was slow, almost lazy meant more to familiarize themselves with one another. It wasn't meant to inspire passion, or coax any desire to the surface, but inevitably it did. And Clarke wanted more. Inching closer to Lexa, feeling the sturdy strength of the brunette's body holding her.

Before she knew it Clarke was being led towards the bed, she didn't even know what was happening until she felt the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed. Breaking the kiss long enough to sit on Lexa's bed, looking up at the brunette, with eyes wide and pupils blown with desire. She wanted Lexa. Her head was swimming with want.

"Clarke." Lexa sighed, she would not deny Clarke if she offered herself. Lexa was sure she didn't have the will power for that.

"I'm not ready for that yet Lexa. But, I want to be close to you." Clarke said. Lexa nodded, shrugging her jacket off and letting it fall in a pile on the floor leaving her only in a tight fitting black tank top, and her pants.

Clarke scooted back from the edge of the bed, towards the center of it and laid back. Waiting for Lexa to crawl towards her, coherent thought left her mind. Clarke had never seen anything sexier than watching Lexa crawl towards her. Free of her war paint, yet still looking fierce. Lexa hovered over Clarke for a moment, brown hair cascading over her shoulder and framing them.

"You are beautiful Clarke." Lexa said in the quietest of whispers.

Wrapping her hand around the back of Lexa's neck Clarke pulled Lexa down towards her until their lips met. Lexa rested her weight on her arms and knees, not wanting to tempt herself by pressing against Clarke. Feeling Clarke shift beneath her, lifting her knee to press against Lexa's hip. They kissed slow and sensually, until they both needed more. The shift was subtle, until Clarke felt Lexa nip at her bottom lip drawing out a deep moan from the blonde.

Time disappeared, nothing else mattered except for the weight of Lexa's body on top of Clarke's, the increasing pressure of Clarke's knees holding Lexa to her. Fingers digging into Lexa's scalp drawing out the sweetest sounds from Lexa.

Hooking her leg around the back of Lexa's, and with a deftness Clarke didn't know she had Lexa spun them around so that she was on top of Lexa. The surprise showed in Lexa's eyes. She was not accustomed to being topped. But, there was something oddly arousing about the idea of relinquishing control. Laying back on the mattress, Lexa looked up at Clarke.

"Is this okay?" Clarke asked.

"You never cease to amaze."

Neither one of them wanted to end their make out session. But there was no mistaking the feast drums and both of them would be missed if they didn't attend. Clarke stood up on unsteady legs, half torn to go back onto the bed. Lexa looked at her bed, the blankets and the furs a rumpled mess from when they had wrestled for control. Both of them looked equally disheveled, both would need some time to make themselves look presentable.

Lexa hooked her finger in the belt loop of Clarke's pants and tugged her back towards her until Clarke nearly fell into her arms. The surprised squeak that came to Clarke's lips was swallowed quickly by Lexa's lips. She had watched Clarke stand up, and knew that Clarke was soon going to leave her room. And something about that filled Lexa with a wave of possessiveness. She didn't want Clarke to go. She didn't want Clarke to be anywhere but right there, in her arms, on her bed.

Her kiss was hungry, full of passion, and devouring as she laid claim to Clarke's lips. Parted Clarke's lips and tangling her tongue with Clarke's, inviting Clarke into a duel for dominance. The intensity of the kiss surprised Clarke but in an instant she responded in kind. Matching Lexa's fervor with her own.

"I just had to do that." Lexa whispered against Clarke's lips, pressing another gentle kiss against Clarke's slightly bruised ones. It took a moment for Clarke's brain to jump start back into functionality before she was able to respond.

"Never apologize for kissing me like that."

"Come. We should go." Lexa said with a grin.

It was impossible to ignore the tension that seemed to loom around the Commander's seat. As she had each night before, Lexa had set a seat for Clarke. But they could both feel the scathing glare that Abby sent their way each time. Clarke tried to ignore it but she couldn't.

"Why are you trying to burn holes in the Commander with your glare?" Raven asked trying to distract Abby.

"She's planning something."

"What makes you say that?" Marcus asked. He had known Abby to have pretty sharp instincts but now he wasn't sure if Abby was right about this one.

"I found the Ark designs in her room. Why would she have them if she wasn't planning something?"

"I think you're looking too much into this Abby. I'm sure the Commander has them for perfectly benign reasons." Marcus argued.

"And her interest in Clarke-."

"I'm gonna stop you right there Abby. The Commander is head over heels for your daughter. She may try and hide it. But look at them, I mean look at the way that the Commander is looking at Clarke right now." Raven said nodding towards the two girls in question. Abby begrudgingly did as Raven said and looked at Clarke and Lexa. And as much as she didn't want to see it, she couldn't deny that Lexa was looking at Clarke with adoration. Lexa looked at Clarke as if the sun rose and fell with her.

"That doesn't mean that she isn't planning something."

"Why are you so suspicious of them?"

"I don't know. But my gut tells me there is something that they aren't telling us."

"I think that you misunderstand some things." Lincoln said chiming in. He hadn't wanted to get involved in the Sky People's speculations. But, knowing Lexa the way that he did, and his loyalties being what they were, he couldn't remain silent when Abby was insulting Lexa.

"What do you mean?" Abby asked.

"You're approaching this as if you were equals. You and the Commander. But you're not. She offered this alliance with you, but that doesn't mean that you have any say here. The only credence you have is what she gives you, and the more you piss her off the less that will be." Lincoln said. He could see the defiance spark in Abby's eyes. She wanted to fight what he said. To correct him, to insist that he was wrong. But Abby had a strong feeling that he was right.

"So we're her subjects?"

"It's not as repressing as you think. The Commander is very generous with the clans that are under her protection. She offers them free reign over their territory. Allows them to pick their own leaders. The only thing that she asks for in return is warriors when she goes to war. There have been Commanders in the past that were not so." Lincoln had heard stories of Commanders that demanded tribute in the form of slaves or other goods for protection.

"Giving the Commander our people to be killed in war doesn't exactly sound benevolent." Raven chimed in. Lincoln shook his head and went back to his plate. He wouldn't be able to explain to them the benefits if they were going to poke holes in his argument each time. He forgot some times that not all Sky People were as reasonable as Octavia and Clarke.

Across the feast Lexa tried to keep her observation of Abby and the other Sky People as covert as possible. She didn't care what Abby thought of her, or the others but she knew that Clarke would. Still, Clarke seemed to be having a good time at the feast, she was practically glowing. She was talking to some of the Trikru at a nearby table.

"You look happy." Talia whispered. Lexa looked towards the older woman, there was a genuine smile on Talia's face. She was truly happy that Lexa had found some happiness.

"It is a strange feeling." Lexa said in Trigedslang. She didn't want Clarke to overhear it.

"Embrace it."

"I intend to."

* * *

The morning had a chill to it that set Lexa's nerves on edge, being roused from sleep before the sun had even broken over the horizon never boded well. Following Talia through the halls towards the entrance of the palace where she had been told there was a messenger waiting. Seeing him Lexa knew which tribe he belonged to.

"Is all well with Luna?" Lexa asked instead of greeting.

"Luna is well Heda." The messenger said with a bow of his head.

"What news then?" Lexa asked, her patient wearing thin.

"Luna requests your permission to come to Polis early."

"For what purpose?"

"She has heard that the Sky People are in the capital. And she would very much like to spend some time with them."

"Luna is more than welcome in the capital."

Lexa watched the messenger ride off quickly, wondering if it was really worth getting up early for something so easy. And then she saw Talia looking at her with a sly grin. Talia could have given the messenger permission without waking Lexa. She'd been woken on purpose.

"You've got my attention now Talia." Lexa said.

"You've grown quite close to Clarke."

"Did you not tell me I should embrace it?"

"I wonder if you want me to meet with her, discuss some of the customs when it comes to being in a relationship with the Heda." Talia offered. It was something that she had gone through too, before her relationship had been legitimized she had been made to go through these tutor session. Before her death, Talia had been seriously considering tutoring Costia on such things.

"Are you asking my permission?"

"I am asking what you intend to do with the Sky Princess. If you are merely satisfying a momentary desire or if you are intending on something more long term." Lexa had already waited longer than most Commander's had when it came to picking a wife. It wasn't a requirement for her to marry, there were Commanders that never settled down. But Talia knew that Lexa was not one of those, no matter how much she liked to pretend she was.

"I have had enough of people questioning my relationship with Clarke."

"I do not question it. I am asking if you wish for me to discuss these matters with Clarke."

Lexa's nod was almost imperceptible. But Talia knew how to read Lexa's silence.

"She's a good match for you Heda."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Please read the authors note at the end of the chapter.**

 

Chapter Eleven Pt 2

"Where's the Commander?" Clarke asked over breakfast. Lexa's place at the table had been noticeable vacant and Clarke had tried not to let it show that she was worried. But in the time that they had been in Polis, Lexa had never been absent.

"She had business to attend to. She'll be back tonight." Talia answered.

"Where did she go?" Clarke couldn't contain her curiosity. Talia smiled kindly, she remembered the worry. The wonder that came with being in love with the Commander. Wondering if they would come home from whatever endeavor they had gone called away to.

"Escorting the leader of the Boat Clan to Polis."

"Escorting?" Clarke asked. It seemed strange that Lexa would go out of her way, there was a flare of jealousy that coiled in the pit of Clarke's stomach.

"Luna and her people would need it." Talia said with a hint of distain that confused Clarke.

"Why do you say that?" Marcus asked curiously. This was the first time he had heard mention of another one of the Grounder clans. He was excited at the prospect of meeting them.

"The boat people were the ones that you were going to take me to when we first met right? Octavia asked looking at Lincoln for confirmation. Lincoln looked away from Talia's sharp gaze and nodded.

"The boat people are not warriors. They do not agree with a life of war." Lincoln explained. That was how he knew that Octavia would be safe there. Luna was a peace lover by nature, she didn't have the stomach for war and she would not turn away a young girl who was injured and in need of sanctuary.

"Is that possible in Grounder culture? I thought that all the clans fought each other before Lexa united them." Clarke said, letting slip Lexa's name instead of her title. She caught herself too late and her cheeks flared red with a blush.

"The boat people keep to themselves. They do not often draw the attention of the other clans. When the Commander began unifying the clans, Luna was the first to agree." Talia didn't like Luna, most of the Trikru didn't like the pacifist nature of Luna and her kind. What good were they if they weren't willing to offer warriors? And yet they expected others to fight and to die for them.

"So it is possible to not have an army at the beck and call of the Commander?" Abby asked.

"I would not recommend suggesting such a thing to her. The relationship she has with Luna is unique and you will find it very difficult to replicate it." Talia said though she silently dared Abby to try. She couldn't explain what it was about Abby that set her nerves on edge. Maybe it was the entitled air that Abby seemed to have, though she had done nothing to deserve the allowances she expected.

"Unique how?" Clarke asked unsuccessfully keeping the jealousy from her tone. Octavia snickered, she hadn't seen Clarke jealous before and it was kinda hilarious.

"Do not worry Sky Princess, it is not what you think." Talia said. The name, Sky Princess, had everyone at the table looking at Clarke for answers. Clarke shrugged. She had heard Lexa use it and wasn't surprised to hear Talia use it as well. Lexa probably picked it up after hearing Bellamy call her that.

"The name is your fault." Clarke said under her breath. Bellamy laughed at the accusation, however true it might be.

"Whatever you say _Princess._ "

* * *

 

Lexa waited at the border between the Trikru land and the boat people territory for Luna and her envoy to show up. It had been a last minute decision to go herself, but she blamed the fact that it had been months since she had seen any form of excitement. She was growing restless trapped in the capital. Aside from Clarke there was little to keep her interest for long. All her council did was talk, and she had no mind for politics. Lexa left that to Talia, the older woman had the true talent for it.

When she saw Luna and her small escort coming over the crest of a hill Lexa smiled. Luna was in her mid-thirties, a successful life by Grounder standards. Luna had sun kissed skin, courtesy of the reflection off the water. The boat people lived on the water, on houses tied together and left to float on the water. Lexa hadn't ever been able to find comfort in their dwellings, the constant moving of the water made it difficult for her to settle her mind. Unlike Lexa's escort, Luna's had no weapons, the most they carried might be a knife meant only for cutting net.

As their parties approached one another Lexa greeted Luna with a slight nod, Luna returned the gesture. It was approaching midday, and while they could have turned and begun their journey back to Polis immediately, they both stopped for a rest. Lexa dismounting her horse first and then Luna.

"An escort from Heda kom Trikru herself. I'm honored." Luna said unable to keep her snark inside for long. Lexa smiled and let Luna pull her into a brief hug.

"Don't let it go to your head. It was mainly out of boredom." Lexa said.

"Ah, still haven't learned how to play the game of politics?" Luna asked as they sat, watching as their horses drank from the small creek.

"I like to know who my enemies are." Lexa replied.

"Speaking of, I'm surprised that Talia hasn't convinced you to cut off my head and present it to her." Luna knew that she wasn't very popular with the Trikru, they respected her because Lexa respected her. But her pacifist ways were baffling.

"She has no say in this. I owe you more than I will ever owe her." Lexa answered firmly. Luna knew to drop the subject after that. Letting silence reclaim the air around them.

"So, the Sky People, I hear that you have gotten very close to their leader." Luna said. Lexa wasn't surprised that Luna knew about Clarke. After the war of the Mountain, many stories were spread throughout the clans about the Sky People.

"Her name is Clarke." Lexa offered.

"Clarke. You like her."

"She is different. You will know when you meet her. You would like her, she doesn't like war."

"Really?" That news intrigued Luna more than anything else. The idea that Lexa was associating closely with someone who would argue against war.

"Do not get any ideas. The summit will happen as it always has." Luna didn't argue. As much as she wanted to argue with Lexa on the matter, she knew that most of what she said would fall on deaf ears.

* * *

 

Clarke nearly skid to a halt as she was exiting her bedroom and she saw Hudson leaning against the opposite wall. Since she had arrived in the capital she hadn't seen much of her body guard. She'd thought that Lexa had finally realized that she didn't need to have a body guard and dismissed Hudson. At first, Clarke had missed the constant shadow, she never thought that she would but Hudson had become a constant in her life.

"Where have you been?" Clarke asked with a smile. Hudson looked down at the young Sky Princess and returned her smile. He looked different than he had before when they were still fighting. He was still dressed in some of his armor, but he didn't look as if he were ready to take on an entire army. His war paint was gone and he was clean shaven making him look a lot less intimidating.

"Visiting my wife and child." Hudson answered.

"I'm sure they were happy to see you."

"Yes. Heda has tasked me with keeping you safe while she is away."

"I don't need a body guard Hudson. I thought you would know that by now." Clarke said.

"It is my honor to protect you Clarke of the Sky People."

"Is it because of Costia?" Clarke asked. Hudson straightened, he had not heard that name spoken in a long time. She was a ghost that haunted the palace even still.

"Costia was taken from the palace when Heda was gone." Hudson explained.

"Oh." Clarke said feeling bad for bringing it up. But no one ever spoke about Costia, Clarke didn't know anything about her other than how she died. She had yet to work up the courage to ask Lexa about her.

"She'll tell you about Costia when she is ready." Clarke spun around, surprised to hear Talia's voice behind her. She hadn't even heard the older woman approach.

"I know she still mourns for Costia. I just want to help." Clarke said.

"May we speak? In private?" Talia asked gesturing towards her chambers. Clarke nodded, though she couldn't shake the feeling that she was about to get scolded.

Clarke followed Talia into her room, taking a moment to note how much bigger the room was than even Lexa's. Elegantly designed, and filled with all sorts of treasures. Talia watched Clarke take in the room and knew that there were a million questions that were swimming around Clarke's head.

"Lexa could have made me move out of this room when she became Heda but she didn't." Talia explained, answering the unspoken question.

"This is the Commanders room?"

"It was. I shared it with my wife before she died." Talia said. Her eyes drifting away from Clarke to the bed. The bed where she had watched her wife succumb to the poison that had stricken her down.

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. Please, have a seat." Talia said gesturing towards a set of chairs just under a window. Clarke did as she was instructed and walked towards the chairs and sat.

"Can I ask you about her?" Clarke asked. She didn't want to be indelicate but she was so curious about how the Commander was chosen. She remembered Lexa saying that they were chosen because of reincarnation.

"Her name was Drea. She had been Commander for three years before she was killed." Talia had gotten better at talking about Drea, able now to speak about her without feeling like her heart was being ripped out of her chest over and over.

"How long were you married?"

"We were bonded before she was called to lead. I knew that she would be called to lead, but neither of us wanted to wait. Times were different then, we were at war with everyone. There was no coalition. Life for a Commander is not a long one Clarke. You need to know and accept that before you go further with Lexa." Talia offered.

"What do you mean?"

"The average life span of a Commander does not exceed 19 summers." Clarke felt the words take the breath from her lungs. And for a minute it was impossible for her to form words.

"But, but there is peace now." Clarke insisted. She couldn't think about Lexa dying.

"I know. I have hope that Lexa can break that trend. What she has done with the coalition is beyond what has ever been done before. And if it holds, then she may live to old age. But you should prepare yourself, in case tradition holds."

"Are you trying to talk me out of being with Lexa?" Clarke asked.

"No. I'm trying to prepare you. To love a Commander, is to know that you are going to outlive them. Are you willing to take that risk?" Talia watched Clarke's expression, she missed the idealism of youth.

"I don't care. I want to be with her. And she's an amazing warrior and Commander. If anyone can beat those odds then she can." Clarke said firmly. Talia smiled, glad that Clarke had no disappointed her.

"Good. Then we can continue."

"Continue?"

"I had to make sure what your intentions were towards Lexa before we had this conversation. Being with a Commander is different Clarke, than any other relationship you have probably ever been in. Our people think of Lexa as a God, her word is law, and she must never be challenged in public."

"So I can never disagree with her? Because that isn't going to happen." Clarke said, just from the brief time that they had together Clarke knew that she and Lexa were going to butt heads a lot.

"You can disagree with her all you like. You just have to make sure that when you voice your disagreement you are in private. If the people see you undermining Lexa, and she concedes to you, it could be seen as weakness." Talia remembered when she had to wait to voice her opinion to Drea and sometimes it would spawn the biggest arguments between them.

"Okay. I mean, I don't like it. But it doesn't seem like I have much of a choice."

"I know our ways are different than yours. Lexa explained to me how you elect your leaders. If it makes any difference, I know that Lexa truly values your opinion. She wants you to maintain your independence. She likes it when you challenge her." Talia offered seeing Clarke blush a fierce red.

"She doesn't want me to be subservient?"

"Clarke, I don't think you understand the power that you would hold as wife to the Heda. You would become the most powerful person in our culture, after Lexa. Entrusted to rule when Lexa is away on campaign." Talia explained.

"But that's your job."

"I am only holding this place until Lexa marries. Then it will be her wife's job. I would, of course help should you require it."

"Wait, we're talking about marriage. Me marrying Lexa?"

"Yes. How do your courting rituals go?" Talia asked confused at Clarke's surprise.

"Our courting ritual usually lasts longer than a few weeks."

"How long?"

"Sometimes years."

"On the ground we do not have time to wait years to know if we want to spend the rest of our lives with someone. We believe that if we have found the right person we would know. Do you feel that way towards Lexa? When you see her do you think that you would ever want to be with anyone else?" Talia asked. Clarke looked away, out the window at Polis. Seeing everyone going about their days, living their lives. She liked it in Polis, it was the closest thing she had felt to normal since she had landed on the ground.

"I don't want to be with anyone else." Clarke answered. Talia looked over at Clarke and knew that Clarke meant it.

"I can show you how to rule Clarke. If you let me."

"Okay." Clarke answered automatically. She knew that she and Lexa had a lot to talk about when Lexa got back.

The sun had just begun to set when throughout the entire city horns could be heard, announcing that Lexa had returned. Clarke had been with Talia looking over several of the texts that went over the histories of the Commanders. It was fascinating. But all of that was forgotten when she heard the sound of the horns, Clarke felt her heart rate practically double in anticipation of seeing Lexa again. It seemed strange to feel so giddy at the prospect of seeing the Commander.

Still, there was a noticeable bounce in her step when she followed Talia towards the entrance of the palace where they would wait for Lexa and Luna to arrive.

"Hey, where have you been all day?" Octavia asked when Clarke stood next to her.

"Political lessons with Talia." Clarke answered.

"What kind of political lessons?" Abby asked. Clarke sent her mother a harsh glare but Abby wasn't deterred.

"If Lexa and I get married, then it would fall to me to rule when she isn't in Polis." Clarke answered, she was mainly going for shock value. She wanted to see the look on her mother's face when she told her that she was seriously considering marrying Lexa. Abby didn't disappoint. Her eyes widened almost comically. And it was clear that she wanted to say some choice words when Marcus grabbed Abby around the arm and whispered in her ear. Whatever he said got her to swallow her words.

"You're thinking about marrying the Commander?" Raven asked.

"It's on the table for discussion." Clarke said.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Raven really wanted to support Clarke, she wanted to make sure that Clarke knew that no matter what she had her back. But, marriage seemed a bit quick.

"They don't have time to move slowly on the ground Raven."

"Hey, I think it'd be great. A union between grounder and Sky people." Octavia said excitedly. If it worked out well for Clarke and Lexa, then it would look good for her and Lincoln.

Lexa tried to hide her excitement, she wanted to get back to the palace and back to Clarke. If it were up to her she would be racing her horse down the main street. But she had to go slow, she had to be on parade with Luna. For her people. Her anxiousness didn't go unnoticed by Luna, the older woman finding the sight of it amusing.

"I haven't seen you so excited for something in a long time." Luna commented quietly.

"When you meet her, you will understand why."

When they finally reached the palace entrance Lexa dismounted her horse, handing the reins to the waiting attendant. She saw Clarke standing beside Talia and had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. Talia nudged Clarke gently towards Lexa, silently telling her that it was alright if Clarke wanted to greet Lexa. Walking towards Lexa, Clarke was surprised when Lexa wrapped her hand around Clarke's neck and pulled her close.

"You are well?" Lexa asked softly. Clarke nodded, torn between being shy at the blatant show of affection and also touched by it. Lexa moved away from Clarke and turned towards Luna. "Luna, this is Clarke of the Sky People. Clarke is this Luna, she is the leader of the Boat Clan."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Clarke said with a smile.

"The pleasure is mine."

Introductions were made and once they were completed Lexa dismissed everyone until the feast. Luna had been to the capital enough times to know her way around. And she wanted to speak with Lincoln. She had dealt a lot if with Lincoln, teaching him about peace and the benefits of not going to war.

"Luna, may I introduce Octavia. She is Indra's second." Lincoln said.

"This is the one that you were going to bring to my people?" Luna asked looking Octavia up.

"Before we had a peace with the Trikru, yes."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Octavia kom Skaikru."

"Kom Trikru." Indra corrected rapidly. Octavia could tell that her mentor didn't like Luna, and she wondered if that meant that she was also not supposed to like Luna. But Luna seemed to matter quite a lot of Lincoln.

"Of course."

* * *

 

Clarke gasped as she felt her back collide with the door of her bedroom, giving Lexa the opportunity to capitalize and deepen the kiss. Lexa's kisses were hungry, and full of longing. It almost seemed like they had been apart for weeks and no just a day. Lexa kissed Clarke with a passion that made the blonde's knee's go weak. For several long moments their kiss continued until they broke the kiss both in desperate need for air.

"I missed you too." Clarke whispered breathlessly with a smirk. Lexa returned the smirk briefly before claiming Clarke's lips once again. Lexa wasn't always going to be the most open with her words but Clarke could tell that Lexa missed her, just with her actions.

Several minutes passed before Lexa moved away from Clarke, allowing the blonde woman to step away from the door. For a while neither one of them spoke. Lexa wandering almost aimlessly through Clarke's room, not really looking at or for anything, just wandering. There was something on Lexa's mind, Clarke could tell by the way that Lexa wouldn't stop moving.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked warily. Lexa looked over at the blonde, finding Clarke completely irresistible. Her lips slightly bruised from the passion filled kisses that had driven them only moments before.

"Did you speak with Talia?" Lexa asked.

"Yeah, she gave me a rundown of what it's going to be like for us." Clarke said. She'd almost forgotten about it, she'd been too happy to see Lexa that she'd forgotten that she was mildly angry at Lexa.

"Do you find it acceptable?" Lexa asked, she couldn't bring herself to look at Clarke. She knew that averting her gaze was a sign of weakness but she didn't know what she would see in Clarke's eyes. If Clarke was going to have a favorable reaction or a negative one. Clarke was always surprising Lexa, each time Lexa thought she could predict what Clarke might do she found herself surprised.

"You should have talked to me about this. You didn't need to have Talia do it." Clarke said softly.

"Talia is better qualified. She was married to a Commander before."

"But she doesn't know us. She doesn't know how we are together. She told me that on the ground there isn't time for a long courtship. That I should be thinking about us getting married." Clarke said.

"You do not need to feel rushed Clarke. I would not pressure you into anything that you do not want. But it is true, that on the ground courtships are generally short."

"She also told me about the lifespan of the Commanders." Clarke whispered. Lexa cursed under her breath, she knew that Talia would be frank with Clarke but she didn't want to worry Clarke.

"Don't think about that Clarke."

"I don't know how I can forget it." Clarke argued.

"Clarke, I cannot promise to live forever. Life on the ground is hard. We have learned a long time ago to enjoy life while we can." Clarke hated how easily Lexa spoke about this.

"Well, try really hard." Clarke said.

"I will." Lexa promised.

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk marriage Lexa. I care about you a lot, but this is all too fast for me." Clarke said truthfully. Lexa nodded, she expected that Clarke's answer would be something like this.

"It's alright Clarke. These things take as long as they take." Lexa offered with a reassuring smile. Clarke felt the flood of relief that Lexa wasn't disappointed, or if she was disappointed in Clarke's decision she didn't show it. "Come walk with me."

Polis at night was an experience that always took Clarke's breath away. The city was so active during the day with merchants and venders and people going about their lives. But at night, when the work was done and it was time to celebrate and enjoy the life that they had worked so hard to create. Then sun had just gone down, but there was still some light left while they walked.

"Where are we going?" Clarke asked as they weaved through crowds. Most people moved out of their way once they realized who Lexa was. Lexa didn't answer, instead she reached down and grabbed Clarke's hand pulling her more insistently through the crowd. It was the laughter that first caught Clarke's attention, and then when they turned the corner off the main street Clarke saw a large open field where she found a group of children playing. It took a minute for Clarke to recognize what they were playing.

"Are they playing football?" Clarke asked as she watched one of the boy's score what looked like a touch down although it did look somewhat different.

"Yes." Lexa said. Looking over at Clarke, watching the wonderment that crossed the blonde's face.

"How did you know about this game?" Clarke asked her voice barely above a whisper.

"We have tried to keep as many things from the past alive as possible. This game is both fun and strategic. It teaches team work, working as a unit to achieve a goal. It is a valuable lesson for children to learn." Lexa explained. Clarke hadn't noticed that the children had stopped playing while they watched the two women talking until one of the girls that was playing handed Clarke the ball. It was beaten up, it looked raggedy and well loved, but it still held its shape.

"Sky Princess will play with us?" The girl's accent was strong, and it was clear that she wasn't that comfortable with the English language yet. But Clarke thought that it was adorable.

"Not today. Maybe some other time. You guys go have fun." Clarke said handing the ball back. The young girl took it with enthusiasm and ran back to her team. The two only lingered until the game started up again.

"They aren't wearing pads." Clarke commented as they started walking away. Lexa smirked, of course Clarke would be worried about their safety.

"Warriors need to be exposed to the potential of injury during their training." Lexa offered.

"They are just children."

"Children need to be trained to become warriors." Lexa said.

"What else do you have of the old world?" Clarke asked curiously. Lexa hesitated a moment, looking unsure for a moment if she would even answer the question. Since becoming the Commander, Lexa had fiercely protected every relic they had of the time before the bombs fell. Clarke could see the dilemma playing out on Lexa's face.

"Come with me." Lexa said finally. Clarke obediently followed Lexa as they turned back towards the palace. Lexa seemed to have laser focus on where they were going, she didn't stop or slow down her stride. Clarke had to almost jog to catch up to Lexa. Curiosity bubbled in the pit of Clarke's stomach and her skin tingled with anticipation for what Lexa was about to show her.

Lexa took Clarke down a long hallway that looked like it had been forgotten, it was dark, and the only light that came from it was a single torch that was lit at the end of it. The golden light illuminated the faces of two Trikru warriors that were standing on either side of the door. Both guards watched their approach with trained eyes, but said nothing as Lexa opened the door and walked inside. Clarke had no doubt that their reaction would have been very different if it hadn't been Lexa walking down the hall.

The room that Lexa had led them to was completely dark, but Clarke could recognize the smell anywhere. The musty, dusty aroma that could only belong to a library. Her suspicion was confirmed when Lexa began lighting a series of torches and row after row of books were exposed. There were hundreds of them, maybe more Clarke couldn't tell.

"You have a library?" Clarke whispered in awe.

"Before the bombs fell, the first Commander wanted to protect the knowledge of the world. So, he brought every book he could into a shelter under the ground. After things settled, and people started to reclaim the Earth, they were moved here. Where they could be protected and enjoyed." Lexa said running her fingers over the spine of one of the books. It was an old travel guide, details and maps of a place called Budapest.

"This is amazing."

"I can hardly take credit for it. But I could not let this wonder fade while I am Commander." Lexa said leading Clarke through the aisles of books, waiting patiently for Clarke to browse and look over different texts when a title would call out for her.

"Can I…would it be okay if…"

"You can borrow any book you like Clarke. That's why I showed it to you, I knew that you would appreciate it. As I do." Lexa answered. Clarke didn't think she could smile any wider. Knowing that Lexa trusted her with something so precious was truly heartwarming.

"Thank you."

The two spent a little over an hour in the library. Clarke couldn't decide which book she wanted. But both of them heard the sound of the feast horns being blown. So, with a promise that they could return whenever Clarke wanted, Lexa was able to coax Clarke out of the library.

Clarke couldn't wait to tell the others of what Lexa had shown her. Lexa sat with Luna, watching Clarke recounting the wonderment of what she had seen, seeing the blonde's face light up as she talked. Lexa's look could only be described as adoration. And Luna would not miss the opportunity to mention it.

"I never thought I would see her glow in such a way. She truly loves the Sky Princess." Luna commented, Talia looked over at Luna and then back to her plate. She didn't want to discuss such things with Luna, but out of the people in Lexa's life they both knew her best.

"She does."

"Does Clarke return such affections?"

"I believe so."

"Do you think they will marry?"

"It is hard to tell."

"Well, I'm hopeful for them."

 

**A/N: Alright, so for this chapter I'm gonna beg you guys to bear with me. I know that having Clarke need to be seemingly subservient to Lexa if they were to get married seems a little stepford wife-ish. But, trust me. This is Clarke we're talking about. ;-)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Please enjoy!**

Chapter 12

Lexa startled awake as the sound of someone knocking on her door, it was nearing the middle of the night if the position of the moon was anything to go by. Walking towards her door, Lexa pulled the heavy door open with one hand while her dominant hand gripped the hilt of her dagger. She was unaccustomed to being awoken in the middle of the night, unless something was wrong. Instead, what greeted her, was an adorably disheveled Clarke Griffin.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked curiosity and concern obvious in her voice. Clarke smiled sheepishly, grateful that the hallway was so dark otherwise Lexa would be able to see how deeply she blushed.

"Hi. I know it's late, I'm sorry." Clarke said in a hushed voice afraid of waking up anyone else.

"Is everything alright?" Lexa asked ushering Clarke inside.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just couldn't sleep." Clarke had been tossing and turning in her room trying to sleep, when she had finally given up and decided that she was going to go to the source of why she couldn't sleep.

"Is something bothering you?" Lexa asked closing the door and watching Clarke venture into her room before sitting on the edge of her bed. Clarke shrugged and looked down at her hands, Lexa knew that was a yes. Walking towards Clarke, Lexa sat beside her and waited patiently.

"Do you expect me to be subservient?" Clarke asked. She had meant to ask Lexa that, but she had been distracted. But then when she was able to sit down and let her thoughts catch up, she realized she never got to talk to Lexa about it.

"Subservient? To me?" Lexa asked, if it had been under different circumstances Clarke would have thought the baffled look on Lexa's face comical.

"Talia said that it would be expected. That in public, I could never be seen to disagree with you."

"I think, I know you well enough to know that is not possible." Lexa teased gently, making Clarke smile.

"We know that, but that doesn't mean that your people are going to let that happen."

"Clarke, I do not care what my people want or expect. I want you to be who you are. That's all." Feeling Lexa reach out and slowly wrap her fingers around Clarke's, the blonde wanted desperately to believe her.

"Talia made it seem like it doesn't work that way."

"What we have has never happened before. Commanders have never engaged in relationships with someone of a similar rank before. You aren't beneath me Clarke. You are the leader of your people as I am the leader of mine. Regardless of how my people see you, you will always be an equal to me." Lexa promised, she needed Clarke to believe her.

Clarke couldn't find words to respond to Lexa's words, so she leaned forward and brought their lips together hoping that she could convey everything she felt in one kiss. It was a slow, languid kiss that still managed to steal Lexa's breath.

"You never cease to amaze me." Clarke whispered once their kiss broke.

"Stay tonight?" Lexa requested looking back to her sleep disheveled bed.

"Okay."

Clarke watched Lexa move up to the head of her bed, tucking her legs under the light coverings and waited for Clarke to join her. Hesitating for a moment Clarke moved to join Lexa, nervousness bubbling up within her at the thought of sleeping beside Lexa. She didn't even know if she could sleep being in such close proximity to Lexa. But she couldn't pass it up. Clarke settled into the pillow, turning on her side facing Lexa. The room was dark but from the faint light coming in through the window Clarke could see that Lexa's eyes were still open, staring up at the ceiling. But there wasn't any awkwardness, it felt calming, and comfortable.

"You are not sleeping." Lexa said, her voice soft and almost dreamy.

"I'm just enjoying the moment."

"There will be other moments." Lexa promised before rolling over so that her back was to Clarke.

* * *

 

Tangled seemed to be an understatement. Clarke woke up reluctantly, she was more comfortable than she could ever remember being. But she was also tangled. Tangled in sheets that were twisted around Clarke like a snake and there were two strong arms wrapped around her waist. She expected Lexa to still be asleep, but when Clarke opened her eyes Clarke found that Lexa was very much awake. Awake and cuddling her.

"Hey." Clarke whispered sleepily.

"Good morning Clarke." Lexa greeted.

"How long have you been awake?" Clarke asked propping her head up.

"Sunrise." It was automatic for Lexa to wake with the sun, she was an incredibly light sleeper. She doubted that she actually got any deep sleep while laying with Clarke. It would take some time for her to get used to sleeping next to someone.

"You could have woken me."

"Why? You looked comfortable."

"I am. I don't think I've slept that well since before I was sent to the ground."

"When you were in the sky?" The concept was still baffling to Lexa. She understood what the Ark was, she'd seen it, been inside it, she had even studied the plans for it. But the idea of something so massive floating above the Earth seemed impossible.

"On the Ark."

"The Ark. What was it like?"

"It was, it was all I knew. I was born in space. It was claustrophobic, everything was cramped and old.  
The 12 stations weren't meant to house the entire human race. They were designed to have continuous upgrades and replacement parts sent up from Earth. But when the bombs fell, well, we had to make do with what we had. So things were always breaking. We were patching things together with tape and whatever else we could find. And there was always a hum, the sound of the gravity generators. It was a constant and I stopped noticing it until I came down to the ground and it wasn't there anymore." Clarke explained.

"Like the sound of wind rustling in the wind?" Lexa said, when she remembered Lexa would pay attention to the sound.

"I guess. I think that I still find it new and exciting. I still remember the feeling of the sun on my face when I left the drop ship for the first time. Everything was so green, and the sun was warm. It was paradise." Clarke mused, it was back when she was naïve, thinking that the Earth was actually paradise.

"I remember hearing about the wandering star when I was a child. The warriors would talk about it, the constantly moving star."

"I never thought about you looking up at me. I always remembered looking through the windows at Earth. Wondering what it would be like to live down here. Now that we are living down here, I don't know how I could ever go back."

"You don't have to." Lexa offered. Clarke didn't say anything in response. What could she say? Sometimes it was hard to think that this was the same person that she had met when they were at war with the Mountain. The woman that wielded such authority over so many people. Now, laying here in bed with Clarke, Lexa seemed like an entirely different person. Her hardness had faded into the woman that Clarke had always known was underneath.

"I wish we could stay like this all day." Clarke said snuggling back into the comfort of the bed. Lexa laughed, Clarke was adorable in the morning. Carefree, before the weight of the responsibility she carried began to affect her.

"Maybe one day." Lexa said reluctantly getting up. Clarke laid back in the bed and watched as Lexa walked around the room, seemingly getting things ready. She slept in very simple clothes, so different than the warrior garb she wore. The jacket that Lexa wore so often, and so very well, hung on the back of a chair.

"That would be the day. I don't think there is a force on this Earth that could keep you away from doing your duty to your people." Clarke commented. Lexa stopped and slowly turned, wondering if Clarke truly didn't know.

"I know of one thing." Lexa said leaving no doubt that she was referring to Clarke. Clarke blushed a faint pink, throwing her arm over her face to hide it.

"Who knew you could be so charming."

"I am full of secrets."

"I believe you." Clarke followed Lexa, getting up out of the comfortable bed and shivering at the cold air that filled the room. Lexa caught sight of the slight shudder and quickly went to get something for Clarke to put on over her tank top. "Thanks."

"Take anything you like." Lexa offered.

* * *

 

"What are we doing out here?" Raven asked following Clarke and Octavia as they walked through the forest. After breakfast, Clarke had asked the two if they would go with her on a walk. She wanted to talk to them about her relationship with Lexa. And more than that, she needed their advice. They were her best friends, if anyone should weigh in on her future with Lexa it should be them.

"I just wanted to spend time with you guys." Clarke answered slowing down her pace. Raven didn't like getting special treatment for her injury. But Clarke knew that it still hurt Raven. It bothered her that she wasn't able to walk as quickly as everyone else.

"What's on your mind Clarke?" Octavia asked, she knew that there was something on her friend's mind.

"I need your advice." Clarke said coming to a stop, sitting on top of a large, miss covered bolder. Raven and Octavia shared a look, they guessed that Clarke was referring to Lexa.

"What did the Commander do?" Octavia asked arms crossed.

"She didn't do anything. Why would you think she did something?"

"I just assumed she did something stupid to piss you off. She didn't?" Octavia asked.

"No. If anything, she's done everything right."

"So what's the problem?" Raven asked sitting next to Clarke.

"Grounder's don't believe in long courtships. Talia wants to know if I intend to marry Lexa." Clarke said.

"I thought you were just trying to get a rise out of your mom when you brought that up." Raven said for lack of anything better to say.

"That was part of it. But, am I crazy for actually wanting to marry her?" Clarke asked. Silence was what greeted Clarke as she posed this question to her friends. They both looked at her, and then at one another.

"If you love her, then no." Octavia said.

"But it's such a huge step. And this year has been such a whirlwind. So much has happened, am I really in the right state of mind to make this decision?"

"Clarke, stop over thinking this. If you love Lexa, then you should be with Lexa. If you look at her, and you know that you wanna marry her. Then you should marry her." Raven said with a determination that surprised Clarke.

"I can't just follow my heart on this. I have to think about our people. And what it will mean for them if I marry Lexa. It would be merging our people and Lexa's, I know that isn't going to sit well with some of them."

"Then they'll deal." Octavia insisted.

"Your mom is going to flip though."

"Yeah, she won't be the only one. I still need to tell Lexa."

"Wait, hold on a second. You're contemplating marrying the woman, and she doesn't even know it?" Octavia asked incredulously, her words were barely out of her mouth before she began laughing.

"I didn't want to bring it up to her unless I was sure." Clarke defended helplessly.

"And are you? Sure?" That was the question, the one that Clarke had hoped that she could answer. The problem was, she could answer the question quite easily if she thought with her heart and not her head. Something that Lexa had told her on numerous occasions not to do.

* * *

 

"Are you sure?" Lexa asked, her fingers gently massaging her temple to ease the throbbing. Talia and Cole stood before her, having delivered their news.

"Certain. Three have been confirmed missing." Cole confirmed.

"Why am I only hearing about this now?" Lexa demanded, standing from her throne and walking past Cole and Talia to look at the giant map that showed her each of the clans. Her eyes falling on one area in particular.

"We didn't think that it was related. And then we go this." Cole walked over to the table and opened a large satchel that had been delivered. Lexa's blood ran cold at the sight, she had seen satchels like these before. They were what the Ice Queen delivered Costia in.

"These belonged to the first woman that was taken. Her husband identified it." Talia explained holding up a jeweled necklace. Lexa reached out to grab it, but at the last minute she changed her mind and dropped her outstretched hand.

"Do you think that this is the Ice Nation?"

"Who else would it be?" Lexa snapped. Lexa's thoughts jumped from the women that were now taken, to the one woman who now meant more to Lexa than anything in the world. She needed to make sure Clarke was safe.

"Do not do anything rash Lexa." Talia cautioned.

"Have Clarke brought back inside the city. I want her protected."

"Hudson is protecting her, and she is with Octavia." Cole offered.

"The Ice Nation is making their way into our city, kidnapping our people, and we did not notice until now. Unacceptable. I want this city locked down. I want to know everyone who comes in and out of the city." Lexa commanded, her voice hard and unyielding. Cole and Talia could only nod in silent agreement.

"Yes Heda."

* * *

 

Clarke was fuming. She couldn't remember the last time she had ever been so angry. Following Indra through the palace hallways with Octavia and Raven in tow. The three had been enjoying their adventure outside the city when Indra had come out of the wounds, like she had been in the shadows all along. And the General had commanded that Clarke return to the palace. Clarke had nearly laughed when Indra had said it. What power did Indra have to command her to do anything? And then Indra had said it. When it became clear that Clarke was going to be defiant Indra told Clarke that the command came from Lexa.

"I'm going to need a minute with the Commander." Clarke said when they reached the door to Lexa's main audience chamber. Indra looked over her shoulder at Clarke, clear that she wanted to say something but she kept her comment to herself. Stepping aside so that Clarke could move passed her.

When the door burst open, Lexa looked up from the satchels. She wasn't surprised to see Clarke, she wasn't even surprised to see the rage that radiated from Clarke's brilliant blue eyes. With a sharp nod towards Indra, the General pulled the door closed leaving them alone.

"You _commanded_ me to return Commander." Clarke said, the distain in her voice evident.

"It was for your own protection." Lexa answered, looking back down at the items that she had delicately placed on the table. Necklaces and keepsakes, important things to each of the women taken. That was how it started before, with Costia. Teases, hints that she might still be alive. And then came the body parts and finally the proof that they were dead.

"What happened while I was gone?" Clarke asked noticing the somber look in Lexa's eyes. Lexa looked pale, like she had just seen her worst nightmare come to life.

"Things have been brought to my attention. Things that prove that I have become…distracted, complacent." Lexa spoke the words with such disappointment, Clarke's heart ached for the brunette knowing that she was beating herself up for a presumed failure.

"What happened?"

"These belong to four women that have been confirmed missing." Lexa said gesturing towards the items on her table. Clarke briefly looked at the items and then turned towards Lexa.

"Missing?"

"Taken."

"By whom?"

"We received these today, in a week we'll receive more. But instead of trinkets and items, it'll be fingers, hands, other body parts." Lexa's voice was so hollow, so vacant that it was haunting.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know all too well how the Ice Queen likes to torment."

"The Ice Queen? What's going on Lexa? You're scaring me." Clarke reached out and laid her hand over Lexa's. The touch seemed to startled Lexa awake, as if she hadn't quite been aware until Clarke touched her.

"The women that she took, they're pregnant."

"Oh God."

"When the Commander dies, their spirit finds a new home within a newborn child born at the exact moment of the Commander's death. For that reason, pregnant women in our culture are revered. Any one of them could be bearing the next Commander within her. So, we allow them every comfort and protection." Lexa explained. She still couldn't believe she had been so blind to what was happening. Especially when she should have known that the Ice Queen would capitalize on any unrest within the twelve clans.

"So the Ice Queen is taking these women?"

"So when she comes to kill me, there will be nowhere for my spirit to go. And the line of Commanders will end." Lexa remembered hearing the stories, the cautionary tales of what would happen if there was no vessel for the Commander's spirit to go. The line had been unbroken since the bombs had fallen and destroyed the world. Lexa couldn't allow it to break while she was Commander.

"What do we do?"

"I have increased the guard over the remaining women who are currently with child. I do not know why she didn't just kill the women, but soon I expect that she will come for me."

"I'm glad you had Indra come get me." Clarke said softly, reaching out to caress Lexa's cheek. For a moment, just the briefest second she allowed herself to drink in the comfort of the touch.

"I have to keep you safe. There is nothing the Ice Queen would like more than to hurt me before she kills me." Lexa whispered.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. And we're going to solve this."

"There is nothing to solve. I have sent word to the Clan Leaders, summoning them early. When they get here, I will tell them that we are going to war with the Ice Nation."

"War? We just finished a war. Surely we can negotiate some sort of peace." Clarke was in no hurry to fight another war.

"You don't understand."

"Explain it to me."

"There is too much bad blood between the Ice Nation and the Tree People. We've had an unstable truce for the past years, we do not cross into their border and they do not come into ours. They violated that truce and now they must suffer. The taking of these women is an act of war. I will answer it in kind." Lexa promised. Looking over at Clarke, Lexa willed the blonde to understand where she was coming from. But Clarke could never understand the years of pain and conflict between the two clans.

"I know you are thinking about Costia."

"Do not speak of her Clarke." Lexa warned.

"So that's it? You're just going to declare war when we have barely had peace for a month?"

"If I do nothing it is a sign of weakness. The Commander cannot be seen as weak, to my own people, or to the Ice Nation." Clarke sighed, a mixture of disappointment and frustration. She had hoped that maybe Lexa would be more open to looking for peaceful means of ending conflicts.

"And there is nothing I can do to talk you out of it?"

"I will not apologize for doing what is best for my people."

"But you aren't doing this for your people! You're doing this for revenge. You're not doing this for these women, you're doing this as an excuse to attack the Ice Nation and get vengeance for Costia." Clarke watched Lexa's eyes turn cold, the same hard look that Clarke had seen turned upon Lexa's generals. And now she understood why they coward when they saw it. For several long moments they stood in this silent stalemate. Clarke feeling exposed to Lexa's focused glare, unsure what Lexa would do.

As the silence stretched on and on, creating a growing distance between them Clarke thought about apologizing. But she couldn't. Each time she would open her mouth to try she couldn't bring herself to apologize for what she said. Lexa looked back at the things on the table, being the first to break the staring contest with Clarke. But she didn't care. She felt fury boiling in her blood and she feared what she might say if she spoke. What words she could come up with, designed to cut Clarke to the core. So, she chose a second option and the only one she could think to do. Without a second glance towards Clarke, Lexa turned and walked away leaving the blonde Leader to watch her go.

**So...thoughts?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First blood is drawn in the war against the Ice Nation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the update error guys! Not sure how it happened. But it's fixed now.

Sorry for the long delay :-(  I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 13

Clarke woke up after what felt like only 20 minutes of sleep. Her eyes burned, and her mind was foggy from exhaustion. But she couldn’t sleep. Not after her encounter with Lexa. She didn’t even know what it was call her conversation with Lexa, it wasn’t quite an argument. But she had pushed the limits, seen how far she could go with Lexa and found that not only had she crossed a line she had stampeded over it. The look that Lexa gave her still haunted Clarke. Even when they had first met, and they were still enemies Lexa had never looked at Clarke in such a way. And Clarke didn’t know what to do about it.

Walking out of her room, rubbing her eyes Clarke saw that the palace was already buzzing. Servants and attendants were shuffling through the halls talking amongst themselves quietly. Each of them stopped when they saw Clarke, whispering and then continuing on their way. Clarke walked into the main audience room looking for Lexa and finding that the Commander was missing, as were all of the Grounders.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked sitting down at the table. That was when she noticed that there was no breakfast set out. Every morning, before they even in the audience chamber breakfast was set up for them.

“We were hoping that you could tell us.” Bellamy replied looking out the window. Clarke walked towards him, peering around him to see what he was looking at. What she saw sent a rush of unpleasant memories through Clarke’s mind. Assembled around the city walls was the Trikru army. Hundreds of them, possibly thousands, larger than the army she had seen when they were fighting the Mountain Men.

“I don’t know.” Clarke offered helplessly. She knew that her friends expected that she have some insider knowledge of what was happening around the city. And if she hadn’t gotten into that conversation with Lexa, perhaps she would know what was going on.

“The Commander has instituted military law.” Luna explained joining them at the table.

“Why?” Abby asked.

“She believes that the Ice Queen will soon make an attempt on her life.” It bothered Clarke how matter of fact Luna was when she said it. Surely, an assassination attempt on the Commander was a big deal. But Luna made it sound almost common place.

“Why would she think that?” Marcus asked nervously looking around the members sitting at the table. None of them were under any illusion as to Lexa’s importance to the peace between the Sky People and the Trikru. Gustus had been right when he had said that Lexa was the coalition. Without her the peace that had been hard fought would be torn apart within months.

“There have been kidnappings of important members of our society. Women currently with child.” Luna explained. Clarke knew that Luna’s answers weren’t doing anything to alleviate the confusion of the group.

“Grounder lore states that the Commander’s spirit moves onto an infant born at the exact moment of the Commander’s death. Pregnant women, all pregnant women are treated as if they may be carrying the future Commander.” Clarke explained without needing to be asked. She knew that her people wouldn’t believe those superstitions. People from the Ark were used to facts, and science, they didn’t place much stock on superstitions. But that didn’t matter now. What mattered was what Lexa and the other clans believed.

“That’s ridiculous.” Abby said with a scoff. Luna looked at her sharply, usually levelheaded and open to other cultures Luna could not believe that Abby would say such a thing about an important keystone of Grounder belief.

“You have your way Chancellor. We have ours. You may not share our belief, but I have seen it happen and I assure you it is real.” Luna said with a sharpness that didn’t suit her.

“So, these women that were taken are all pregnant?” Bellamy asked trying to piece together what was going on.

“If the Ice Queen succeeds in killing every woman currently with child and then is able to kill the Commander there will be nowhere for her spirit to go and the line will end. Lexa will burn the world before she allows that to happen.” Luna promised. She didn’t like the idea of war, but of all the causes for it, she could understand this one the most.

“So she’ll start with the Ice Nation?” Clarke asked. She still wasn’t entirely convinced that Lexa wasn’t doing this for some sort of retribution for Costia. As much as she would like to think that Lexa wouldn’t risk the lives of her warriors for that, she still couldn’t shake the feeling.

“It’s been a long time coming. The Ice Nation and the Trikru have a long standing feud, it started before the Commander was even born.”

“Why? Why is there such a hatred?” Clarke wondered.

“Why does the cat hate the mouse? Or the wolf hunt the deer? They do it because it is in their nature. The hatred is long standing and I do not think that it will ever truly end. Believe it or not, this is the longest there has been a truce between the Ice Nation and the Trikru.” Luna hoped that she could make them understand that Lexa wasn’t warmongering. She wasn’t doing this because she wanted a war, Lexa wanted peace, and a lasting one. But she was willing to fight a war to get it.

“I refuse to believe that their feud exists simply because it’s in their nature to hate each other.” Abby said thinking that the whole premise was ridiculous. Luna sighed, it would be impossible to make them understand if they weren’t even willing to try.

“Why didn’t the Commander attack the Ice Nation when they killed Costia?” Clarke asked. It was a question that Clarke had been dying to ask. And she knew that she should be asking Lexa that, but she doubted that the Commander would be in a sharing mood. Talia would probably be in even less of a sharing mood. Luna was her only option.

“She wanted to. Her Generals even encouraged it. But the Coalition did not exist back then and the Trikru army could not win such a war. So she waited, and she built a peace between the clans. And now, her army is the largest in the history of the Grounder people.”

“So why didn’t she declare war when she had the coalition? I mean, if it was a matter of manpower, she had it before the Ark hit the ground.” Raven said.

“The Commander has her reasons for waiting.”  
 

“There is more that you aren’t telling us.” Clark said.

“It is not my story to tell.”

“So, now what’s going to happen?” Bellamy asked.

“The Commander has sent Indra and Octavia to your people’s camp. She is ordering them to be brought back here so she can better protect them. Before you argue, I ask you consider the alternative. The Commander will protect your people as she has promised to do, so long as it is not detrimental to her own people. She will not split up her army and leave it vulnerable to attack.”

“And what if our people refuse?”

“She will not force them to come, but if they remain, they will be without protection.”

“Our people didn’t do anything to the Ice Nation.” Marcus, ever the optimist wondered if perhaps the Ice Nation would leave Camp Jaha alone.

“The Ice Queen will burn every village, every camp, and ever settlement between her territory and Polis. Regardless of who they are. If you wish for your people to survive, I think that you should encourage them to cooperate.”

Luna left them with a lot to think about. When she left the audience hall, no one spoke for several long minutes. There weren’t words that could describe what each of them were feeling. None of them were eager for another war, but none of them wanted to stand against Lexa and risk the notion that she might abandon Camp Jaha and leave the majority of their people to die should the Ice Nation invade.

* * *

 

Lexa looked at the stone before her, eyes tracing over the familiar patterns of letters etched into thick stone. It had been a long time since she had come to Costia’s grave. There had been no body to bury but Lexa had insisted upon a proper burial, it was the least that Lexa could give Costia’s family. No one dared deny Lexa this wish. Costia had been buried in Polis, in a graveyard reserved for those of importance to the Commander. She hadn’t been given the full rights of the Commander’s spouse because she and Lexa were not married.

“It has been a long time since I’ve found you here.” Talia commented walking up on Lexa, but maintaining a respectful distance.

“I have been too busy to visit.” Lexa replied not looking up. Talia ventured forward slowly, step by calculated step until she was standing beside Lexa.

“You are wondering if you are doing the right thing, or if some part of your decision comes back to Costia.” It wasn’t a question, Talia knew Lexa’s mind well enough to know that was what weighed on the young woman.

“Clarke said that I was doing this to get my vengeance for Costia. And I cannot say that she is wrong. I do not have the best record when it comes to settling scores.” Lexa said darkly. Chancing a glance at the older woman, Lexa saw the pain that resonated in Talia’s eyes. It was a pain that never quite went away fully, some days it was less than others and it was easy to ignore. But other times, like in this moment, when Lexa looked at Talia she could practically feel the ache that lived in Talia’s chest ever since Drea died.

“You did what you needed to do then, and you will do what is needed now. You are thinking about your people, and you are thinking about the future. Do you think I would allow you to make such a decision if it was for selfish reasons?” Talia asked kneeling beside Lexa.

“Clarke doesn’t understand why I need to do this.”

“Have you told her?”

“She was not willing to listen.”

“Then you didn’t try hard enough. If you intend on taking Clarke as your wife some day you need to allow yourself to open up to her. She should be the one with you right now, allowing you to confide in her, not me. But you keep her at a distance, even now.” Talia said. It was hard to see how Lexa still didn’t want to allow herself to lean on anyone.

“There are things of my past that I do not wish to tell her. She will not understand.”

“You are the only one ashamed of what happened in your past. Your people love you for everything that you’ve done. Throughout the whole of your life, not just your adult life.” Talia knew that there were demons that haunted Lexa, things that happened before she was able to reason her conscience out of it.

Lexa looked back at the tomb stone and then stood. Silently bidding farewell to Costia and then she and Talia began to the journey back towards the palace. There were preparations to be made, Lexa wanted to meet with her generals before the other clan leaders arrived. Preparing for war was something that Lexa had practice in, more than anyone her age should have. She was brilliant at strategy and war tactics, and she enjoyed proving it each time.

“You need to speak to Clarke.” Talia said before Lexa could dart off.

“Later.”

“Now Lexa.” Talia insisted. Lexa sighed, Talia would not bend on this.

“Alright, where is she?”

“I’ll have her brought to you.”

“She will not take kindly to that.” Lexa commented, but Talia wouldn’t take no for an answer. In fact, she was already walking off and didn’t even hear Lexa’s words.

Lexa had yet to dawn her armor and her war paint, the time was coming when she would need to put that back on. But for now, she remained in her simpler clothes and she wanted to be dressed in such a way when she spoke to Clarke. But, while she waited for Clarke to come to her room Lexa paced like a caged animal. She was nervous. She had never had to apologize for a fight before. Even when she and Costia had disagreed on things before, Costia was always the one that apologized, or they simply didn’t speak of it again.

“Talia said you wanted to see me.” Clarke said from the doorway.

“Please come in.”

“What do you want Lexa?”

“I did not enjoy arguing with you Clarke.” Lexa said awkwardly. But Clarke understood that was a big confession for Lexa to admit. It was as close to an apology as she was expecting from Lexa

“I’m glad you didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t like it either.” Clarke said walking slowly forward, fidgeting with her hands. “I’m sorry about what I said.”

“I am not doing this because of Costia.”

“I think I was just lashing out. I don’t want to go to war Lexa. We just finished one where too many people died. I don’t want to see people I care about marching off to war again.” Clarke explained.

“If I do nothing, it will be seen as weakness.”

“That’s the thing I don’t get, why your people would think that trying to find a peaceful solution is weakness.”

“The Ice Queen is baiting me. She knows that I won’t allow this to stand. She thinks that she has forced my hand in this attack, and thinks that she can anticipate what we will do. She has no idea. I may be younger than she is, but I am better skilled at this than she is.” Lexa boasted.

“How are you going to outsmart her?”

“She is expecting me to be impulsive. To attack immediately. I intend to wait, attack her when her men are weary from being on high alert for so long.”

“Wait how long?”

“I will know better when I have the other Clan leaders. There is much to plan.” Lexa sat down on the edge of her bed and looked at Clarke, hoping that the blonde would understand.

“How can I help?” The question surprised Lexa, and for the first time her usually stoic façade cracked. She expected more of a fight from Clarke. Lexa would need to get used to being surprised by Clarke.

“There is not much that can be done for now.” Lexa hated waiting. It was one of her weaknesses, she didn’t like being patient. Clarke closed the rest of the distance between them until she was standing just between Lexa’s knees forcing the brunette to look up at her.

“Do you really think that the Ice Queen is coming for you?” Clarke asked in a whisper. She could hardly say the words.

“She has left little doubt of her intentions.” Lexa answered with the utter frankness that Clarke had come to expect. The blonde’s hands went to Lexa’s shoulders, her fingers finding purchase in Lexa’s semi-tamed locks. There was a desperation in Clarke’s touches, Lexa recognized them as that, but she couldn’t help but enjoy them. Clarke was frightened for her. Worried that she might be harmed. Of course Lexa had experienced this phenomena before but had always ignored it. Costia had never liked the idea of Lexa riding off to war, but it was her duty.

“I won’t let her.” Clarke promised. Lexa bit her cheek to stop the smile that was dying to come out. Protective Clarke stirred something in Lexa that had been utterly foreign until she’d met the blonde sky princess.

“I do not doubt you.” Lexa answered. Clarke was a skilled leader, and she was a fighter with a determination and a will to survive with all of her warriors as well.

“I’ve lost too much already, I refuse to lose you too.”

“Do you doubt me so much? The Ice Queen hides in her castle behind stone walls, she does not fight her own battles. If it comes down to it, I will defeat her.” Lexa said pulling Clarke close feeling Clarke’s warmth against her. Clarke looked down at Lexa, she hadn’t realized it had even happened. But somehow Lexa had become such an important presence in her life that the idea of Lexa being gone from her made Clarke feel ill. It wasn’t something that Clarke could even wrap her mind around, she wouldn’t even fathom it.

Their kiss started out softly, the physical reassurance of Lexa’s promise that nothing was going to happen to her. Clarke drank in that promise. When their kiss broke Clarke looked down at Lexa and saw the brunette’s green eyes looking up at her, no more harshness, and no amount of practiced impassiveness. Her gaze was open, soft, and full of affection. Clarke was seeing the Lexa that lay dormant underneath the weight of the Commander. In a lot of ways, it felt like Clarke was seeing Lexa for the first time.

“Why do you look at me like that?” Lexa asked confused at Clarke’s intent focus.

“Ai hod yu in.” Clarke said finally. She didn’t know why it had taken her so long to say it. Not when it felt so natural to say. “You don’t have to say it back. I just thought you should know.” Clarke continued after a series of long, silent minutes.

“I love you Clarke of the Sky People.” Lexa said standing up quickly allowing the full length of her body to come in contact with Clarke’s. Clarke gasped at the sudden contact, feeling Lexa’s arms circle around her waist and turn them so that she could press Clarke backward against the bed.

Before things could escalate any longer they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat loudly. Lexa turned to see who had dared to interrupt them, Cole looked so uncomfortable to be there that Clarke couldn’t help but laugh.

“What is it Cole?” Clarke asked running her hand soothingly over Lexa’s arms.

“Heda, word from Indra and Octavia.” Cole said after clearing his throat.

“What is it?” Lexa said trying to push passed her initial annoyance.

“The Sky People refuse to come.”

“Refuse?”

“They say that they will not come unless they have spoken with Clarke or her mother.”

“I’ll go.” Clarke offered.

“No I will go.” Lexa said.

“Lexa…” Clarke started. She knew that if Lexa went then that would only escalate the problem.

“Do you think that you can convince them to come?” Lexa asked softly.

“If I explain to them why they need to come then I think that they’ll agree to it.” Clarke promised. Lexa couldn’t let Clarke leave the security of the city, outside Polis, Clarke would be exposed she would be vulnerable to attack no matter how many guards Lexa had go with her.

“Alright, we’ll go.”

“You don’t have to come.” Clarke said.

“Yes I do.” Lexa answered sending Cole away with a nod.

* * *

 

Lexa could have brought her entire army with them, but Clarke had talked her into a small group. They were Lexa’s best, all of them had been through more battles than they could remember and Lexa knew that if they were attacked while on the road they would make sure that Clarke was safe. Hudson rode beside Clarke with Lexa on the other side, and they rode quickly. There was no leisurely pace set. Clarke had still been trying to get comfortable with horseback riding but if she mentioned anything about it she knew that Lexa would make her ride with Lexa.

“You have to let me do the talking when we get there.” Clarke said.

“You understand why they need to come.” Lexa replied. They had stopped to rest for a while, Lexa wouldn’t allow any longer than absolutely necessary but the horses needed to rest.

“I do, but they don’t. And they still aren’t very fond of the idea of having to follow your command.”

“I don’t care what they are fond of. I am trying to keep them alive.” Lexa answered gruffly.

“I know that. And that is exactly what I plan on explaining to them. But if you go in there, with your swords drawn then it’s going to send the wrong message.” Clarke explained calmly, reaching out for Lexa she wasn’t sure if Lexa would allow the touch. But Lexa merely watched as Clarke’s hand rested on her arm.

“You will have an hour to convince them.”

“It might take longer than that.”

“You have one hour or we leave. I will not risk your safety because of your people’s stupidity.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me while we’re out here.” Clarke said somewhat touched by Lexa’s concern for her. She knew that Lexa was being harsh, and stubborn, but somehow it helped knowing that the reason behind it was because Lexa cared.

“I intend on making sure of that.”

* * *

 

Camp Jaha was a stone’s throw away from anarchy when Clarke and Lexa arrived, Lexa spotted Indra and Octavia in the heart of it, Indra looking as if she were about to kill someone. When the people saw Clarke their animosity seemed to fade, at least a little, at the sight of one of their own.

“They said we had to go to the Grounder Capital!” One of them shouted. Clarke slid off her horse and ventured closer to the crowd, ignoring the aching in her legs from riding for so long.

“It’s safer there for you.” Clarke said.

“Why is that safer for us? She said she would protect us if we gave them our weapons.”

“I will keep my promise if you come with us to the capital.” Lexa said before she received a silencing glare from Clarke. Reminded of her promise to allow the blonde to handle it.

“You need to come with us to Polis. Out here you are vulnerable to attack. Out in the open. This fence will not keep out the Ice Nation.” Clarke promised. She had no evidence to provide them and she hoped that they didn’t ask for it. But she trusted that when Lexa said that the Ice Nation was a big threat, she didn’t exaggerate.

It was clear that some of the people wanted to agree, they didn’t want to be out in the open and defenseless when an army comes. But there was a larger number that still stood distrustful of the Grounders.

“Clarke, they will not come. We should return.” Lexa whispered frustrated. This would never stand with her people. If she issued a command to her people they would follow it because she was their leader, they needed no other persuasion than that. But that was not the way of the Sky People.

“I have more time.”

Lexa looked at Indra, clearly the two women were on the same page with their frustrations of the Sky People. Even Octavia looked ready to abandon them.

“Do not waste it.”

* * *

 

They waited outside the city, along the tree line for the Sky People to give their answer. Lexa had her guards in the trees, if anything moved in the trees she would know it. And so they waited. And waited. She had permitted Clarke one hour and each minute felt like a decade.

“What if they don't agree? Clarke won’t leave them.” Octavia commented, inspecting her sword while they waited. The blade was probably older than she was, and had seen more battles than most. But it had been a gift from Indra, and now it was her most prized possession.

“She will need to convince them.” Lexa answered.

“And if she can’t?”

“I won’t leave her.” Lexa said softly, the confession not falling on deaf ears but no one commented on it. Calling out the Commander’s weaknesses was not a smart plan for anyone.

“Heda, look.” Indra said pointing at the entrance to Camp Jaha. The doors had opened and the occupants started to file outwards, carrying all that they could carry.

“She succeeded.” Lexa said with a grin.

“Clarke can be pretty persuasive.” Octavia commented.

“I know, believe me.”

When Clarke appeared beside Lexa, a smug look of satisfaction upon her face Lexa said nothing. Instead, she handed Clarke the reins of her horse and they turned back towards Polis. She didn’t ask what Clarke had said to the people to make them change their minds. There would be time enough for that later, when they weren’t concerned about their safety. They moved slower with the added numbers to their party, but the Grounder’s kept the people marching as quickly as they were able to go.

“Heda.” Indra said softly. She didn’t want to draw the attention of the others.

“What is it?”

“There is movement in the trees, clumsy movement just north of us.” Lexa knew what Indra meant when she said clumsy. Whoever was in the forest wasn’t Trikru.

“Handle it.” Lexa ordered. “Octavia.” Lexa waited for the young brunette to join her.

“Heda.”

“Take Clarke back to Polis. You will go faster with just the two.” Lexa ordered.

“What’s happening?” Octavia asked looking around. Lexa wouldn’t order such a thing if there wasn’t some sort of danger.

“I am trusting you with the thing I value most in this world. Keep her safe.” Lexa said. Octavia didn’t question it further and nudged her horse towards Clarke. Whatever exchange happened between them, Clarke reluctantly agreed to go. And with only one lingering look Clarke and Octavia left.

* * *

 

Hours passed since Clarke and Octavia had returned to Polis, and in that time Clarke had done nothing but pace and wait anxiously for Lexa’s return. Octavia had told her that there were dangers in the forest and that she needed to return to Polis. Smartly, Clarke had not argued. But now she was left to worry and hope that when Lexa returned she was unharmed.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Octavia promised watching Clarke return to the bedroom window looking out in the way that they had come.

“She wouldn’t have sent us ahead if there wasn’t substantial danger.”

“Clarke, she would have sent you back if there was a storm coming. That girl has it bad for you.” Octavia teased with a smile. She liked to see Clarke have such a romance, the kind that she had been lucky enough to find with Lincoln and there were fewer people that she thought deserved it than Clarke.

“Shut up.” Clarke said though she knew it was true.

“Clarke.” Talia said coming into the bedroom without hesitation. The look on her face was grave enough to tell Clarke that something bad had happened.

“Where is Lexa? Is she okay?” Clarke demanded.

“Heda is fine. There were Ice Nation scouts in the woods. There was an attack.”

“Take me to her.” Clarke commanded already walking after Talia.

“It is not the Commander who is injured. But Indra. Lexa has summoned for Nyko but also for your mother.”

Lexa knelt before Indra, her hands stained with her General’s blood. The older woman lay on a table, cloth covering the wounds that she had sustained during the fight. Lexa had seen lesser warriors succumb to such injury. But she had faith that Indra would pull through it. Despite the pain she must be in Lexa saw no weakness in Indra, she lay silently, enduring the pain though she battled for each breath.

“Ste yuj Indra.” Lexa whispered.

“I will Heda.”

“You are not allowed to die.” Lexa said in as firm a command as she could muster. Indra looked at the younger girl, a fiercer leader than Indra had ever seen. Indra had promised herself when Lexa had first been called to lead that she would do everything in her power to protect Lexa. It was a promise that was reaffirmed after Gustus betrayed them.

Lexa didn’t look up when the tent flap was pushed aside and Clarke and Octavia came in. Clarke’s gaze went to Lexa first, saw the blood that covered her. It was impossible to tell where it came from, if it was Lexa’s or if it was Indra’s, or both. Octavia looked at her mentor, horror written on her face. She had never seen the older woman fall. She hadn’t thought that it was possible. Clarke surveyed the injuries, it would take some work to fix them, but the fact that Indra was still alive was promising.

“Have you called for my mom?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.” Lexa answered distractedly.

“You need to let them work.” Clarke said trying to encourage Lexa to move but she refused to budge.

“Go Heda.” Indra offered. Lexa didn’t want to leave Indra’s side, but she was just getting in the way. But before she goes Lexa turned to Abby who had just arrived.

“She does not die.” Lexa growled, leaving no room for argument.

“I need Clarke.” Abby answered. Lexa nodded and left the tent. Octavia followed, only because Indra told her too. Indra didn’t want her second to see how much pain she was in, and Octavia didn’t want to see the image she had of her mentor shattered. Though she wanted nothing more than to be there for Indra should the older woman need her?

So Octavia followed Lexa. Both of them helpless to do anything for the woman they both cared about they were left to find something to occupy themselves.

“Are you injured Commander?” Octavia asked when Lexa stopped to lean against one of the support beams for the tent.

“I am fine.” Lexa said. She’d taken a few punches, gotten some nicks and cuts but nothing that needed to be tended to by a healer.

“Do you want to wash some of that off?”

“Yes.”

Watching as the clear water stained red Lexa scrubbed her hands until she had gotten most of the blood off. She had attendants that could do it for her, she could even ask Talia to do it. But she would do it herself. Needing to do it herself Lexa scrubbed until there was no more blood on her. Her armor would need to be repaired and washed but that could wait for a day or two.

“Is she going to die?” Octavia asked from the corner of the room. Her voice sounded small, frightened. She owed her status as one of the Trikru to Indra. If Indra died, Octavia had no idea what that would mean for her future.

“I have faith in Indra’s strength. You should too.” Lexa said.

“I do. I just…what will happen to me if she does die?”

“I will take you on as my second. To repay the many debt’s I owe her.” Lexa promised. She had never wanted a second, and because she was the Commander she wasn’t expected to have one. But if Indra died, she would finish Octavia’s training because that is what Indra would have wanted.

“Thank you.”

“You got Clarke to safety before the attack. It is I that owes you thanks.”

“You really love her don’t you?” Octavia said taking advantage of the fact that they were having a bonding moment.

“Very much.”

“I’m glad. You make her happy.”

“She is lucky to have such a fierce protector in you Octavia.”

“She looked after me too. Bellamy wanted me to stay a kid. The same girl that he kept under the floor on the Ark. But Clarke knew that I could handle myself, she let me prove it. I owe her a lot. Though I haven’t shown it much lately. I’ve been a real dick to her lately.” Octavia laughed humorlessly at herself for it.

“She knows you mean well.” Lexa offered for whatever it was worth.

It was late into the next morning when Clarke went looking for Lexa. She found Lexa and Octavia passed out in the same tent they had been in. Exhaustion and worry and claimed them both and they slept soundly because of it. Clarke almost didn’t want to wake them. But Lexa’s eyes opened when Clarke walked in.

“Will she live?”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**So this chapter is a little long, and it's a lot of setting the pieces for the action of the next few chapters. Please enjoy.**

 

Chapter 14

Clarke walked into the tent, her eyes finding Octavia who was still sleeping soundly and then she looked back at Lexa. The brunette was sitting up now, with a stiffness in her muscles that told Clarke that Lexa was hiding some injury or another. But Lexa wasn’t going to let herself be tended to until she knew how Indra was doing. So Clarke didn’t even bother asking about it.

“Will she live?” Lexa asked again.

“She’s hurt pretty bad. We’ve stabilized her as best we can. But we won’t know for 24 hours or so.” Clarke said. She knew that wasn’t what Lexa wanted to hear. Lexa looked away from the blonde, she had no doubt that Clarke and Abby were Indra’s best chances of survival but she didn’t like uncertainty. Clarke hadn’t even thought that Indra would make it, but the older woman was stronger than Clarke had given her credit for.

“She is strong. She will recover.” Lexa insisted.

“I’m sure she will.”

Lexa walked over to Octavia, waking the younger brunette with a surprisingly gentle shake. Clarke watched the exchange, a strange sense of jealousy washing over her that she knew was unwarranted, but she couldn’t help it.

“Indra?”

“She is recovering.” Lexa said seeing relief flood over Octavia. Clarke knew that Lexa was sparing Octavia the worry that Indra might die.

“Can I see her?” Octavia asked. It took a moment for Clarke to realize that Octavia was asking Lexa, not her.

“You should rest.” Lexa said.

“Speak for yourself Commander.” Octavia said with a smirk. But she laid back down anyway.

“Rest. Visit Indra later.” Lexa led Clarke outside, the camp was still somber, showing respect for their fallen general. Warriors were still making preparations but there wasn’t any idle conversation, no boisterous laughter that Clarke had learned to expect from the Grounder camp.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked softly. Lexa looked over at Clarke, the blonde had made sure to ask it in a quiet enough way that no one would hear it.

“A few scratches. I’ll be alright.”

“You know that wasn’t what I meant.” Clarke clarified grabbing Lexa’s hand. Lexa looked down at the touch and squeezed Clarke’s hand in return.

“Indra is strong. She will recover.” Lexa repeated firmly, meant both to convince herself as well as Clarke.

“I know she will.”

“But, we’ve lost a General. She will not be able to fight during the war. That changes things.”

“I know.”

They made their way towards the palace, no one stopped them, and word had spread of the attack and Indra’s injury. It seemed like a different town, in many ways like there had been a death or something. But as far as Clarke knew no one had died during the attack. It was the first time that Clarke had seen the Trikru pray, or at least, their version of it. Many of the people that they did see were quietly sitting, some of them were holding different idles and murmuring words softly.

No one approached them as they walked, in fact Lexa didn’t stop walking until she was inside her bedroom with Clarke behind her. The door closed with a soft click and then Clarke let her façade of aloofness drop and she rushed towards Lexa. Nearly tackling the brunette down in her haste. Her mind was on so many things, first was to check and make sure that Lexa was okay, inspect her for any injury that she might be hiding.

Lexa let Clarke pull at her clothing, inspecting the bruises that were forming on her skin. It would have been funny if it weren’t for the intense worry that Lexa saw covering Clarke’s face. Hissing at the sudden jolt of pain that shot up her side as Clarke pressed against a particularly deep bruise Lexa pushed the blonde’s hand away.

“I am well Clarke.” Lexa insisted.

“I can tell, the wincing was real convincing.” Clarke snapped pulling her hands free.

“You have treated me for worse.”

“That does not make me feel any better.” Clarke said returning to inspecting Lexa’s wounds. Lexa sighed, defeated and allowed Clarke to continue her expectation. Clarke catalogued every wound that Lexa had. She knew they weren’t life threatening. But she watched as Lexa tried to hide her grimaces when Clarke’s fingers brushed over bruises and scrapes. “You’re exhausted.” Clarke commenting, seeing the bags under Lexa’s eyes.

“I have much to do.”

“You aren’t any good to your people if you’re exhausted. Rest for a few hours.” Clarke insisted. Lexa was too tired to protest, she may be proud but she knew that she needed rest.

“Stay with me?” Lexa requested. Clarke nodded and went with Lexa to the bed and crawling onto the plush mattress. Lexa fell asleep quickly, facing Clarke curled up in an almost fetal position. It allowed Clarke a unique opportunity to observe Lexa. To see the way that Lexa looked so much younger when she was asleep, all the worries and responsibilities that Lexa carried with her faded away.

At some point Clarke fell asleep too, setting her head down on the same pillow as Lexa and drifting off to the sounds of Lexa’s soft, rhythmic breathing. By the time she woke again it had just started to get dark. It took Clarke a moment to realize what had woken her. Looking around with sleep blurred eyes Clarke spotted Talia lingering in the corner of the room.

“Don’t you knock?” Clarke asked looking down to find Lexa still sleeping soundly. It surprised her to find that Talia’s presence didn’t wake Lexa. The brunette was a selectively light sleeper it seemed. Talia nodded towards the door, inviting Clarke out into the hallway and then she walked out through the door.

Clarke looked down at the woman sleeping beside her, and reluctantly left the bed. Lexa didn’t even stir. Talia waited in the empty hallway for Clarke.

“She’s usually a light sleeper. But when she is exhausted, she could sleep through an Earthquake.” Talia said with a small laugh.

“I’m surprised I woke before she did.”

“I was always able to sneak up on her. She hates it.”

“You’ll have to teach me that trick.”

“I’m sure that I will. How is she? She doesn’t seek my council the way that she used to.” Talia had been worried about Lexa the same as Clarke had been. But Lexa had gone to Clarke first.

“She’s worried about Indra.” Clarke said.

“Indra means a great deal to Lexa. You should go back to her. She’ll notice that you’re gone soon.”

Clarke expected that Lexa would be awake when she returned. But Lexa still slept soundly, though her hand was now thrown across the empty space that Clarke had been. It was easy enough to crawl back onto the bed and fall back asleep.

* * *

 

The next time that Clarke woke she was alone. She had slept through the night if the way the sun shone through the window was any indication. But it was still early, the morning birds were just starting their songs. But Clarke figured that half the Trikru were already awake and starting their day. As a culture, it seemed that they didn’t like to waste any daylight. Getting up and stretching leisurely Clarke found that Lexa’s side of the bed was long cold. But there was a small bit of parchment torn off of a larger sheet. On it, scrawled in Lexa’s hand writing, just said that Lexa was training and to come out when she was ready.

Clarke changed quickly, she’d adopted Grounder fashion quickly. Lexa had made sure that she had all the clothes that she needed. And when she was sure she was presentable she walked towards the camp.

Lexa’s body ached with the familiar strain of swinging her sword. She’d been at it since sunrise. First reminding her body of the movements. It was something she would never forget, each stroke of her sword as second nature as breathing. In the early morning sun her skin glistened with sweat and she had an aura of steam coming off her. She yet to find someone who could best her in sword combat, even those who were double her size.

“Heda, Skai Prisa.” Lexa’s opponent said looking over Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa turned and saw Clarke walking towards them. Clarke spotted Lexa standing in the middle of a small training arena. There were many warriors gathered around watching, and learning. Clarke even saw Octavia among them. But her attention fell on Lexa. The Commander stood like a flawless statue. Clarke couldn’t help but find the sight of her girlfriend breathtaking. Dragging her eyes over Lexa’s taut muscles.

“Good morning Clarke.” Lexa greeted as she left the arena, with her absence the other’s took their turns and began sparring.

“Good morning.” Clarke greeted watching Lexa accept a cup filled with what she assumed was water.

“You’re staring.” Lexa commented with a teasing smirk.

“You don’t have to be so smug about it.” Clarke said.

“I will be here all day. What do you intend to do?”

“Lessons with Talia probably.”

“She is a good teacher.” Lexa said watching her men as they trained. Lexa enjoyed being amongst her men, training with them, teaching them what she knew and also learning from them. She was their leader, but she was also one of them. Clarke couldn’t help but notice that this was where Lexa was really in her element. This is where Lexa thrived.

“Have fun.” Clarke said leaving Lexa where she was.

Lexa watched Clarke go, before returning her attention back to the warriors training. She wanted to spend the entire day making sure that they were in peak physical condition for battle. Sitting on a throne that had been moved outside for her Lexa watched some of the Seconds as they trained. Octavia primarily. As Indra had said, Octavia had spirit but she was so reckless with her movements, she lacked the refinement, the patience in order to win. She ended up on her back more often than not. Pushing herself up off of the chair Lexa walked towards where Octavia was sparing.

“Octavia, come sit.” Lexa said. Several of the other seconds snickered at Octavia being effectively benched. Octavia wanted to protest, that she could still fight despite the fact that her nose was bleeding and her lip was split. But she didn’t dare question Lexa. Lexa’s good will only went so far.

Sitting down beside Lexa with a huff, Octavia scowled at those in her class as they continued to spar. Lexa watched Octavia brood for several moments before she leaned forward so that she could speak without anyone overhearing what she said.

“You must learn to watch your opponents. Learn their weaknesses so that you can use it against them.” Lexa said. Octavia turned to look at the older woman and then back at the group that were fighting.

“What do you mean?”

“Look at him, he favors his right leg. And the way that he clenches his fist. He always flexes his fist before he throws a punch. If you learn to read them, then you can out think them. Fighting is more than about brute strength Octavia.” Lexa said. Lexa had to be careful, she shouldn’t be seen showing favor to anyone. But she had told Indra that she would take care of Octavia in the even that Indra was not able to do it herself. She would keep that promise.

“Thank you.” Octavia said.

“Thank me by learning from my words.”

“I will.”

* * *

 

“Where are we going Skai Prisa?” Hudson asked as they walked through the city. Clarke didn’t answer right away, she had been debating if she should go to the barracks where the Arker’s were settling. She knew that Bellamy and Raven had been spending a lot of time there. She had kept her distance because she wasn’t entirely sure how they would receive her. They weren’t that thrilled with her when she had convinced them to go with her. But now, the Grounders treated the barracks like a quarantine area, staying several unnecessary yards away from it at all times. They weren’t welcome in the markets because they had no way of paying for anything.

“I’m going to the barracks.” Clarke said finally.

“Are you sure that is a good idea?”

“They’re still my people.” Clarke heard Hudson make a disapproving sound, as if he wanted to argue but he didn’t. It was something that Clarke had been struggling with the past few days. The fact that she was more of a grounder now than an Arker. She felt more at home with the Trikru then she did with people she had known her entire life. The Trikru offered her an opportunity of freedom that she would never get with the people of the Ark.

Seeing the barracks coming into sight, it was a large structure with clay and stone walls and a thatched roof. There were Arkers around hanging around outside. Clarke spotted Bellamy first, he was talking to a few of the other original 100’s. When he saw her he stood up and walked over to her with a bright smile.

“Come down to mingle with the commoners eh Princess?” Bellamy teased. Clarke was immediately put at ease by the familiarity Bellamy provided.

“How’s it going here?” Clarke asked looking around. Her presence had seemed to bring the attention of a lot of the Arkers. And most of them didn’t look too pleased to see her.

“They’re adapting. They know they have to be here. But you know how it is, they don’t like being told what to do.”

“I’m just trying to keep them alive.” Clarke insisted.

“And they know that. Your mom’s been trying to convince them of that. But they don’t seem to want to assimilate to Grounder life.” Bellamy said.

“If anyone can convince them, it’s my mom.”

“We heard about the attack. How’s the Commander?”

“Pissed. We think that Indra is going to recover but if war comes soon, it’ll be without Indra.”

“When the war comes, you tell the Commander, I’ll go with her.” Bellamy promised. He had gained a great respect for Lexa after his initial impression of her. He had been suspicious of her. But she had proven herself to him and to all of the Sky People as an ally and even more to Bellamy, she had proven that she did care for Clarke.

“I’m sure she will appreciate that. I don’t think that many of them will be willing to fight for the Grounders.” Clarke was amazed how quickly people had forgotten how Lexa and her people had helped them. But she wouldn’t force them to fight another war, not when they had been thought enough. They needed a chance to rebuild.

“I think some of them might.” Bellamy offered. Clarke shrugged, ready to let the subject drop. The other clan leaders would be arriving soon and they would be able to formulate a more effective strategy. But until then, everyone was on higher alert since the ambush in the forest.

“Do you guys need anything?” Clarke asked.

“Actually, a lot of them have heard about the baths that the grounders have. They wanted to know if they could get in on that. It’s been a while since some of these people have bathed properly.” Bellamy said with a laugh.

“Yeah, I’ll ask Lexa. But I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

“How are things with the Commander?” Bellamy asked curiously. Sometimes he found it so hard to think that Clarke and Lexa were a couple. But then if he really thought about it, it made such perfect sense.

“Things are good.”

“She’s good to you?”

“Very.”

“I’m glad.”

“I better get back. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yep.”

Clarke left the barracks, as she walked through the streets several of the villagers greeted her with nods or with smiles. It was a much warmer welcome than she had received by her own people. One of the fruit merchants handed her an apple with a kind smile, and when she reached into her pocket for payment she was waved off.

“For you Sky Princess.”

“Thank you.” Clarke took a bite of the apple as she walked away.

“You are one of us now.” Hudson commented.

* * *

 

As Clarke had expected, Lexa agreed to allow the Arker’s to use the bath houses. In fact, Lexa seemed surprised that Clarke would even ask.

“I didn’t want to overstep.” Clarke said sitting next to Lexa while she looked over the maps of the North. The maps were detailed up until the borderline when the details began to get sparser. There was a sketch of a stronghold a few hundred yards from the forest line.

“That would not have been overstepping. They are your people.” Lexa said.

“How did you map the Ice Nation?” Clarke asked curiously. Lexa allowed Clarke to pull the map closer to her so that she could get a closer look.

“Bits and pieces of information that we have gotten back from scouts. We know that after the forest ends there is a hundred yards where we will be exposed. They will see us coming.” Lexa said.

“What kind of army do they have?”

“A sizeable one. The Ice Queen may hide behind her stone walls, but she is not above sending everyone under her command to die for her.” Lexa explained. She knew that if she marched her army into the field there would be a lot of casualties.

“But your army is bigger.”

“Yes.” Lexa answered with a smirk.

“So, you’ll be able to breach the stronghold easily enough right?” Clarke asked.

“I try not to be over confident when it comes to battles. Arrogance can lead to simple mistakes. I may have the larger army but the north is a different environment. It’s cold and barren. It’ll take a few weeks of marching to get to the border, by then my warriors will be hungry and cold. The longer we’re up there the weaker they will become. It is endurance that will decide this battle.”

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” Clarke said covering Lexa’s hand with her own. Lexa looked down at the comforting touch.

“I need my warriors strong when we move on the Ice Nation. We’ll have to move slowly, a mobile camp to make sure that we have enough food and warmth. It gets very cold up there.” Lexa said.

“Have you been up there before?” Clarke recognized something in the way that Lexa described the Ice Nation. There was a sense of familiarity, and something almost like fear.

“Once.”

“What was it like?”

“Cold and dark. The kind of lifelessness I’m sure you expected when you first came down from the sky.” Lexa explained. She had spent her entire life trying to forget what it had been like. “It was a feeling in my bones, like I would never get warm again.”

“It’ll be different this time.”

Lexa looked down at the sketch of the stronghold, trying to forget what it looked like. Clarke watched as the haunted look crossed over Lexa’s eyes. She wanted to ask what Lexa was thinking about, but she wasn’t sure if Lexa would tell her. Still, she couldn’t help but think that they were making progress if Lexa openly showed how she was feeling instead of trying to mask it.

“Clarke, ai hod yu in.” Lexa said finally. Clarke couldn’t contain the smile that came from Lexa’s confession. And what struck her the most was how perfect it was in its imperfect moment, they were currently planning another great war, once again contemplating life and death. It was not a time to contemplate love. But here they were, in their imperfect moment, voicing what it is that they had both been feeling for a long while now.

“I love you too.” Clarke said.

* * *

 

“What are you doing here?” Octavia looked up when she heard Indra’s voice breaking the seemingly endless silence. The General’s eyes were barely open, and her voice was quiet but it still held the strength that Octavia had come to expect.

“Keeping you company.” Octavia answered.

“You should be training.” Indra said looking down at her bandages. She hadn’t tried to sit up, she could feel the weakness of her limbs and found it displeasing.

“I was earlier with the Commander.”

“She’s taken over your training?”

“She said that you asked her too.”

“You will learn great things from her. Listen to everything that she says.” Indra instructed.

“I will. You just get better, I kinda miss the way you kept kicking my ass.” Octavia said with a smile. Indra took a deep breath and settled back against the pillows, her body giving into the exhaustion she felt.

Octavia hung around even after Indra had fallen asleep. She never could have imagined how much Indra would come to mean to her. It had started out as a need to prove something to Indra, to prove to Indra that she was worthy of being with Lincoln. That she wasn’t weak or afraid. But then it developed into more than that. A need for Indra to respect her, and once she had earned that, a need to keep it. The thought of Indra as a maternal figure was enough to make Octavia laugh, but it was true.

Even though she had Lexa’s protection Octavia couldn’t say that she felt like she was one of the Trikru. She didn’t know how to convince them that she was one of them and not just an Arker playing dress up.

* * *

 

“You want what?” Lexa asked, Clarke had left to go have her lessons with Talia and Lexa had been surprised when Octavia had come and asked to speak with her. Her surprise when Octavia had told her what it was that she wanted, was evident in her voice.

“I want to officially become a grounder.”

“You are not from the ground.” Lexa stated.

“I know, but I feel like I am more Trikru than Sky crew. But both sides still look at me like I’m a foreigner. I want, once and for all, to know where I belong.” Octavia said standing proudly in front of Lexa. Lexa was seated on her throne, looking at Octavia curiously.

“You belong where it is that feel you belong.” Lexa offered.

“With all due respect Commander that isn’t enough.”

“You fought by my side in the mountain, Indra trusts you as her Second. As far as I am concerned Octavia, you are Trikru. And my opinion is the only one that you need to be concerned about. However, if that is not enough for you, when you fight beside me during this war with the Ice Nation and we return victorious I will gift you with your first tattoo.” Octavia smiled, the elation that she felt was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.

“Thank you Commander.”

“You should go back to training. I would not want Indra to think that I have been taking it easy on you.”

“Yes Commander.”

* * *

 

“How far away are the clan leaders?” Lexa asked sitting around the table with Talia and Cole. Clarke sat beside her and next to her Abby and Marcus.

“The first of them should arrive the day after tomorrow.” Cole offered.

“When they arrive, I want the summit to begin immediately. Each of them should be followed by their armies.” Lexa said. It had been confirmed by each clan leader that they would be bringing the full might of their armies with them when they arrived. All told they should have a fighting force of almost five thousand strong.

“What can we expect from the other clan leaders?” Abby asked. They had not been told who the other clan leaders were. They only knew that there were eleven other clans out there.

“Suspicion.” Talia answered bluntly.

“Of us?” Clarke asked.

“They have never met anyone who has fallen from the sky. I would suspect that there will be a bit of mistrust. They will be curious about the Sky People.” Talia explained.

“Will there be any threat?” Abby asked.

“No one will harm the Sky People. On that I promise.” Lexa insisted.

“Can you give us any information about them?” Marcus asked. Clarke could see Lexa tense beside her, it was testing her patience to even be having this conversation. Reaching out, under the table Clarke rested her hand on Lexa’s thigh. Lexa’s eyes darted toward Clarke, clearly not expecting the contact. But the touch was enough to keep her from jumping at the people at the table. Lexa pulled the map towards her, each of the clans were shown on the map.

“There is the horse clan, the river clan, the people of the plains, people of the cliffs, and you know the boat people. The lands belonging to the cliffs and the plains are extensive, there are several clan leaders throughout those areas.” Lexa explained curtly.

“What are they like?”

“Heda!” Lexa turned sharply at the intrusion, the door to the main audience chamber slammed open with enough force to shake the door on its hinges. The speed with which swords left their sheaths was mind blowing. The Trikru guard who had stormed the door was out of breath and sweating.

“What is it?” Cole demanded.

“The scouts found her trying to get back across the border.” Seeing two Gona bring a girl forward. The girl struggled as she was led into the room. Her injuries and blood stained skin and hair implied that she had been one of the attacking Ice Nation. The blue tattoos on her face confirmed it.

“Ice Nation assassin.” Cole growled approaching the girl, his intention to kill her.

“Wait! We should question her.” Clarke argued.

“We do not need to hear Ice Nation lies.” Cole said turning to Lexa for permission to drive his sword through the girl. Lexa stared at the girl who had stopped struggling and was now looking defiantly at her.

“Shish op (speak).” Lexa commanded standing from her chair and walked towards the prisoner, the epitome of intimidation and regality.

“Ai laik Echo kom az kru.” The girl said.

“You have one chance to speak and hope for a quick death.” Lexa said.

“There is nothing that I can say that will spare my life. What is my incentive to speak?” Echo asked defiantly. Her eyes bore into Lexa’s, challenging Lexa to do something.

“If you do not. I will make sure you feel the pain of every life that will lost in this war.” Lexa promised. Her voice was low, and monotone, but it somehow made it seem that much more menacing.

“And if I tell you, I’ll die quickly?”

“Depending on what you say, maybe not at all. But my patience is wearing thin Echo.” Lexa said.

“My group was tasked to monitor the Sky People. When we saw that you had come to escort the Sky People away from their camp it was too good an opportunity to pass up. We decided to attack.”

“Why were you watching the Sky People?”

“For her.” Echo said looking towards Clarke. Lexa reached forward and gripped Echo by the scalp and forced her gaze away from Clarke.

“You do not look at her.” Lexa growled pushing Echo to the ground. Abby stepped in front of Clarke, her protective maternal instinct kicking in. Clarke wanted to protest, but the tension in the air was so thick that Clarke knew not to fight it for now. Lexa moved away from Echo, fury making her blood boil.

“Heda, we are getting nothing from her.” Cole said.

“Teik em raun ona tri.” Lexa commanded before leaning closer to Echo. “And we will see how long before you talk.”

For a long moment there was silence as they all processed what had just happened. Clarke looked down to see that Abby’s arm was still across her, as if her arm could create a shield to protect Clarke.

“Mom.” Clarke whispered, pressing against Abby’s hand until it dropped.

“The Ice Nation is coming after you Clarke.” Abby stated.

“I’m safe here mom.” Clarke promised. Lexa had yet to look at her, Lexa’s back was still turned away from her. Clarke wanted to go to Lexa, see how the brunette was processing what had just happened. But from the looks of it, that would be like approaching a caged animal.

“What will happen to her?” Marcus asked.

“She will be made to talk, and once she had told us what she knows she will be killed and sent back to the Ice Queen.” Cole said.

“Why didn’t they go after me? When you had Octavia bring me back to Polis? They could have attacked us and taken me.” Clarke commented. It was strange to think that the Ice Nation would risk attacking Lexa and her warriors.

“They did not want to abduct you Clarke. Only prove to me that they could.” Lexa said. Every instinct that she had told her that she should go north right at that moment and not stop until her hands were soaked in the Ice Queen’s blood.

“Can you please excuse us?” Clarke requested looking at the other members present in the room. Reluctantly the room emptied leaving only Clarke and Lexa.

“Whatever it is, it will have to wait. There are things I need to attend to.” Lexa said dismissively.

“Hey.” Clarke said reaching out and grabbing Lexa’s hand. Lexa stopped, looking down at their joint hands instead of at Clarke. She didn’t want Clarke to see how uneasy she had become.

“She wanted to prove how easy it would be for her to take you from me.” Lexa whispered.

“I’m right here. I’m fine.”

“I cannot protect you in my own city.” Lexa said more to herself than to Clarke.

“You did protect me Lexa.” Clarke reassured.

“I want you far away from this city.”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“I want you to go to the boat clan with Luna. You will be safer there.” Lexa said.

“No. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I do not want to argue with you Clarke.”

“Then don’t make stupid suggestions. I’m not going anywhere.” Clarke said leaving no room for negotiation.

“One day, we are going to have to discuss you agreeing with me more often.” Lexa said with a more playful lilt.

“I thought you didn’t want a submissive girlfriend.” Clarke fired back.

* * *

 

Lexa stared out her bedroom window, looking down at the courtyard where Echo was tied. To her credit the woman made no noise, she could be screaming or causing all sorts of havoc but she remained eerily quiet. Cole had not been kind to the girl as he administered her torture, but she said nothing. Lexa had to admire her resolve.

“You need to sleep.” Clarke said from the bed. After the first night Clarke had taken to sleeping with Lexa, neither of them spoke of it.

“I will get no sleep tonight.” Clarke sat up, she was tired. The stress of the day had caught up with her with a vengeance and her eyes grew heavy. But she couldn’t rest knowing that Lexa was just going to remain awake watching over her.

“How can I help?”

“Your closeness is enough.” Lexa answered honestly. Looking one last time out the window and then walked the distance towards the bed. There were so many things to think about, so many decisions that needed to be made. But for now she would be content knowing that Clarke was safe.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N : Thanks again for your patience waiting for this update. Hope you enjoy.**

 

Chapter 15

“I’ve been thinking.” Clarke murmured, they’d been laying in silence for almost an hour. The candles on Lexa’s bed table were threatening to go out casting the bedroom in a low amber light. But Clarke knew that Lexa wasn’t asleep. The brunette was running her fingers through Clarke’s hair sending tendrils of pleasure throughout her body.

“Why does that statement scare me more than the whole of the Ice Nation?” Lexa teased. Clarke’s retaliatory smack to Lexa’s stomach forced an ‘oof’ from Lexa’s lips. Clarke pushed herself up on her elbow and looked down at Lexa. The Commander was breathtaking, especially like this. With her guard down, without her war paint, simply Lexa.

“Ha ha very funny.” Clarke said. Lexa noticed the serious look on Clarke’s face, sensing that Clarke had something she really wanted to discuss.

“What were you thinking Clarke?” Lexa asked running her hands through Clarke’s hair once more, tucking the blonde strands behind Clarke’s ear. For a moment Clarke was silent. Biting her bottom lip while she thought about what she wanted to say. She’d been thinking about it for so long, mulling it over in her head, and now she needed to broach the subject with Lexa.

“I want to marry you.” Clarke said finally. For a moment Lexa remained silent, her expression unreadable. Several times she tried to respond, opening and closing her mouth without being able to form words. “Say something.” Clarke requested after several minutes of silence passed. Insecurities were starting to form in Clarke’s mind, maybe she’d misread things, maybe Lexa didn’t want to marry her.

“Are you sure?” Lexa asked, it was the only thing that she could think to ask. The thought of someone wanting to marry her seemed outlandish. Especially given the dangers that faced them as they prepared to embark on a brutal war that could and likely would claim Lexa’s life.

“Do you love me?” Clarke wasn’t surprised at Lexa’s question. She knew Lexa well enough to know that this wasn’t a rejection. This was Lexa trying to process.

“I do love you.”

“I want to marry you Lexa. I want the whole world to know that I am yours and you are mine.” Clarke said moving to sit next to Lexa so that Lexa could sit up.

“You know that it is not that simple Clarke. If we marry, there will be expectations placed upon you.”

“I know.”

“Your people might not accept it.”

“I don’t care. You’re my people.”

“Your mother might kill me.” Lexa said with a smirk. Clarke felt relief flood through her, if Lexa was joking that was a good sign.

“I trust that you could hold your own in a fight with my mother.”

“I would have to let her win.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

“It would be my honor to marry you Clarke.” Lexa said finally. Clarke threw her arms around Lexa’s neck and sent them both tumbling backward onto the bed. Feeling Clarke’s lips brush against her own Lexa relaxed into the kiss. There was always a thrill that came when Clarke took charge, Lexa had never let anyone dominate over her in any aspect of her life.

“I love you.”

* * *

 

Clarke was sure that she had never seen her mother so pale. When she sat her mother down and told her that she was planning on marrying Lexa, Clarke didn’t think that the news would go over well. But she didn’t think that Abby would be as silent as she was. Marcus looked between the two women, having been there when Clarke had dropped the bomb, he guessed that his presence was by design.

“Have you thought about the political ramifications this could cause? How do you know that this would be supported by all sides? This could anger the other clan leaders.” Clarke looked at her mother, wishing that she was surprised at Abby’s first reaction to her news.

“I’ve spent every minute since I landed on Earth thinking about other people. Thinking about the 100 kids you sent down here, thinking about how to keep them alive. Then when the Ark landed how to combat the Grounders and the Mountain Men. I have spent so long ignoring what I want. I’m tired of it. I’m allowing myself to be selfish for once and doing something for me.” Clarke said angrily. She was beyond fed up with everything that she has had to put up with. She didn’t want to think about how this was going to affect everyone else. All that mattered to her was that when it was over she and Lexa would be united.

“Are you doing this for love?” Abby asked finally. Her voice quiet and her gaze didn’t lift from the table in front of her.

“I love her mom.” Clarke said.

“And she loves you?”

“Very much.” Clarke promised. Abby took a deep breath, she had known that this day was coming. If she took her personal feelings out of it, and just watched Clarke and Lexa when they were together she could see how much they loved one another.

“I’m happy for you Clarke.” Abby said surprising both Clarke and Marcus. Both of them had expected the worst reaction from Abby.

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“When are you planning on having this wedding?” Abby asked curiously. She had only seen the chaos of the preparations for the summit. The scouts had all reported back that the clan leaders were near and should be arriving the following day. Abby didn’t know when there would be time for a wedding.

“Once the clan leaders are here. The Commander’s wedding should be attended by the other clan leaders. But before the army marches.” Clarke answered. She and Lexa had stayed up late into the night discussing it. What the ritual would be like, what would be expected.

“Are you sure that it’s wise to be focusing on this when there is a war to be planned? If Lexa plans to march against the Ice Nation shouldn’t that be her primary focus?” Marcus asked curiously. From what he had learned about Lexa, there was little in the world that could distract her from focusing on her people and winning a war.

“We don’t want to wait. This war could last years, she might…” Clarke stopped. She didn’t want to think about Lexa dying in the war. Every time her mind drifted to that thought she felt sick to her stomach at the possibility. No matter how skilled of a warrior Lexa was, there was that chance.

“The Commander is a very capable warrior Clarke, she’ll come back from this war victorious.” Marcus promised reassuringly. Clarke nodded, needing to believe that.

“What will the ceremony be like? What are their rituals?”

On the Ark weddings were station wide celebrations, even if you weren’t close to the bridge and groom. They weren’t elaborate affairs, Jaha would officiate the wedding. The couple would wear their best clothes which were usually whatever shirt and pants had the fewest holes or stains on them. And then there would be a small gathering afterwards and a relaxation on the food rationing limit to allow for a small feast for everything in attendance. It was a far cry from what weddings used to be.

“The wedding of a Commander is a huge deal, the entire city will be in celebration. There will be feasts like we’ve never seen before and music and festivities. It’s a weeklong celebration. But the ceremony itself will be officiated by the Luna.”

“Why Luna?”

“Lexa’s choice. Any of the Clan leaders could do it. But Luna is Lexa’s choice.”

“There aren’t any strange rituals are there? Nothing that you’ll have to do that will make you uncomfortable?” Abby asked curiously. She was still trying to wrap her mind around her daughter marrying into the Grounder culture. She didn’t want Clarke to have to do anything that would take the blonde teen out of her comfort zone.

“No mom. I know what you’re thinking. Lexa has told me that the ceremony itself is very similar to what we had on the ark. An exchange of vows and then that’s it.”

“Well, what do you need from us to help prepare?”

* * *

 

Word spread through Polis of the upcoming wedding, Clarke had been worried that people wouldn’t be happy that Lexa was marrying an outsider. But the overall consensus was that the people were excited for the union. Clarke was well liked among the people, and Lexa was their Commander and beloved by her people. It seemed like the people were more excited for the wedding then they were the arrival of the other Clan leaders. There was an energy that spread throughout Polis that was electric. For a moment war as forgotten, the looming threat of war was pushed into the back of their minds and everyone focused on the excitement.

Talia watched as preparations were set up for the Clan leader’s arrival. The audience chamber was filled with a large rectangular table. Space for thirteen seats, and at the head of the table, Lexa’s throne. Now came the most difficult task. Who would sit where? It was a delicate balance, putting the wrong person too far away from Lexa could be considered an insult.

“Clarke will sit here.” Lexa said tapping at the spot to her right. It was a place of high honor to be at the right hand of the Commander.

“As the newest member of the coalition she should sit there.” Talia said pointing to the seat furthest from Lexa. Clan leaders were moved around the table based on their rank amongst the other clan leaders. The closer they were to Lexa, the higher esteem they garnered from the others.

“She will be my wife, she’ll sit beside me. Her mother will take that seat.” Lexa answered with an air of finality that left Talia silent.

* * *

 

Clarke wondered why it still surprised her how much power Lexa commanded. Sometimes when it was just the two of them, in their private moments together, it was easy to forget that Lexa commanded the twelve Clans. But standing beside Lexa, standing in all of her glory with her armor and war paint perfectly in place. The clan leaders paraded into the audience room in their full regalia, with war paint of their own and symbols of their clans braided into their hair.

They walked into the room and sat in the seats assigned to them. Each seat had before it a symbol of each clan. Letting the leaders know where they were expected to sit. Lexa watched them carefully, looking for any sign of discontent with where they were seated. She saw none. Only curiosity when it came to the additional seat beside Lexa. Clarke met her mother’s gaze as Abby walked into the room looking out of place among the other clan leaders.

“Welcome to Polis.” Lexa greeted once the doors were closed and everyone was seated. They were not permitted to bring guards with them into the audience chamber. All weapons were removed, but that didn’t mean that should things go badly, things wouldn’t get deadly.

“Congratulation Heda, on your victory over the Mountain and the return of our people.” There was a chorus of cheers around the table. The only people quiet in the room was Abby, Clarke, and Lexa.

“It was not without the help of the Sky People that we achieved victory. Which is why I have invited them into the coalition and given them a seat at this table.” Clarke shifted uncomfortably under the weight of the stares that were focused on her. She knew that they would all be curious about her. But she didn’t expect the silent staring.

“These are Sky People?” One man said looking between Clarke and Abby, the tone in his voice was clearly unimpressed.

“Believe me, they are more formidable than they look.” Lexa commented sitting down on her throne at the head of the table and inviting Clarke to do the same.

“Killing 300 of your warriors.” The same leader pointed out, Clarke was to learn that his name was Orin and he ruled over the Horse clan. They produced the best war horses and her own horse had come from his land. Clarke didn’t sense any malice in him, just curiosity and wariness.

“A misunderstanding.” Clarke jumped in, her voice was controlled, her defensiveness barely concealed through gritted teeth.

“Allow me to make introductions. Abby Griffin, Chancellor of the Sky People. Beside me is Clarke Griffin Prisa kom Skaikru.” Lexa said looking beside her at Clarke. She knew that Clarke disliked the title of Princess. But the title would be needed in order for the other leaders to accept Clarke.

“Two leaders?” Noma of the Desert people asked. It seemed so contrary to them that there were two people who would share the role of leadership. In their culture there was one leader and that way there was never any confusion as to whose word was law.

“It is their way.” Lexa explained. The other clan leaders shifted uneasy about the new information. They had all heard rumors of the Sky People and their technology, their ways and customs that were so different than the ways of the ground. How similar they were to the Mountain Men and yet they were invited to sit among the leaders of the coalition.

“How do they know who to follow?” Clarke bit her lip to keep from snapping at the clan leaders. They were speaking about them as if she and Abby weren’t there. But she felt a firm hand on her thigh and looked sharply to her right. Luna shot Clarke a cautionary look, effectively silencing Clarke.

“You will all have time to get to know the Sky People and their customs later. For now, I have asked you all to come early to discuss the threat posed by the Ice Nation.” Lexa said loudly. She wanted to draw attention away from Clarke for the moment.

“Finally! I have long said that you were too lenient with those barbarians to the North.” Granger North Plains exclaimed slamming his hand down onto the table making Abby jump as he was sitting closest to her.

“Heda has been calculated with her dealings with the Ice Nation. We are not at the point of war yet.” Luna offered. She knew that wasn’t true, but she was going to continue to fight for peace until there was no hope left for it.

“We have been at the point of war for years Luna. Just because you refuse to acknowledge it does not make it less true.” Dakota of the South Plains said bitterly. Clarke was reminded of how rare pacifism was to the Grounders.

“No one has been able to conquer the North. The weather is too harsh and the resources are too scarce to support a campaign of this magnitude. Your warriors will go north and they will die of cold or hunger before they ever seen a Northern sword.” Luna said harshly. Lexa looked at the older woman, she did encourage honesty at these meetings. She accepted what many of her predecessors had not, she wanted to use the knowledge of her allies.

“You speak true Luna.” Lexa said. She knew it was true as much as she had agonized over how she could get her forces across the ice plains.

“So how do you plan to conquer the north Heda?”

“That is the question that I have asked you all here to answer.”

Talk lasted all day and well into the night until more than once one member of the summit was caught nodding off in their chairs. Finally, Lexa dismissed the council to rest until morning when they would reconvene. The room emptied, but Lexa remained sitting at her table massaging her temples to ward off of headache that was forming. They had spent hours talking and they had gotten nowhere.

“So that was a summit meeting.” Clarke said circling around in front of Lexa so that she stood between Lexa and the table. Lexa shifted backwards to allow Clarke more room.

“Summit meetings are usually more productive. We have never attempted a campaign like this, an unconquerable foe.” Lexa said tiredly. Clarke could see the dullness in Lexa’s usually vibrant eyes. It was not to the point that Lexa was discouraged, but the frustration was evident.

“We’ll figure it out.” Clarke promised.

“How? There is a reason why the North has never been conquered Clarke.” Lexa looked at the map that showed where the Ice Queen’s stronghold was. There was nothing around it. Any area that they attacked from they would be seen.

“Come on, you aren’t going to be of any use to anyone if you’re exhausted.” Clarke suggested, Lexa shook her head. She wasn’t ready to give up yet. Clarke pushed off of the table and walked towards Lexa. Placing both her hands on Lexa’s face, cupping Lexa’s face and making Clarke look at her. Lexa couldn’t deny how Clarke’s proximity was calming. Placing her hands on Clarke’s hips, keeping the blonde closer.

“I cannot fail them Clarke.”

“You won’t. If there is anyone who can figure out how to do this, it’s you. And they know that too.”

* * *

 

The following days were not any better as far as productivity, every idea that was suggested was proven improbable by someone else. And by the third day they were no closer to figuring out how they were going to win this coming war. Clarke had to admit the most admirable thing about the grounders was, never once did any of them decide that they weren’t going to do it. They were determined and they were not going to give up just because they had hit a road block. Not once did one of them decide that it wasn’t worth it. Lexa had said that they were going to war and they were going to figure out how to make it possible.

It was late, and everyone had long since retired to sleep for the night. Clarke woke up when she realized that Lexa was no longer in the bed beside her. Reaching across the bed Clarke found that the sheets where Lexa would have been were cold. The brunette had been absent for some time now. But Clarke didn’t have to look hard to find her. Sitting up, Clarke could see Lexa’s head from where Lexa sat in the center of the floor with a candle beside her.

“Lex?” Clarke asked, sleep making her voice hoarse. Lexa didn’t respond right away, so lost in focus of what she was doing that she hadn’t been paying attention. Clarke got out of bed and walked towards where Lexa sat. The Commander sat at the center of a dozen maps, looking at each and every one but she was currently scribbling something down on one of them. “Lexa?”

“I have figured out how we are going to take the North Clarke.” Lexa said without looking up. Clarke saw that Lexa was scribbling a drawing, it was a crude drawing, but Clarke could definitely tell what it was. Her hand was covered in charcoal, she had been at it for a while.

“How?”

“We have been arguing about how we were going to siege the Queen’s stronghold. We don’t have too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I will not need the entire army. I just need the best warriors.” Clarke could see the fire in Lexa’s eyes, the enthusiasm and the drive that was there.

“I don’t understand.”

“We’re going to attack the stronghold on two fronts. The main army will attack here. Draw out the Queen’s army, and then they will withdraw. A second force, a smaller force will sneak into the stronghold when the Queen is distracted.” Lexa explained.

“How are they going to sneak into the stronghold?”

“We have someone who knows the secrets of the Queen’s stronghold.” Lexa said darkly. Referring to the prisoner they had in the prisons. The prisoner was due to be executed, but they had all been so busy in the summit meeting that they had put off the execution until they were ready to officially declare war against the ice nation in front of their armies.

“So you’re going to ask her for it and hope she tells you the truth?” Clarke didn’t know this girl, but she could only think if she were in the prisoners position, and she knew that she was going to die anyway, she would be less inclined to tell the truth.

“I will know if she lies.”

“How?”

“I have been in the stronghold before.” Lexa reminded.

“Things might have changed.”

“Perhaps. It is a risk. But it is also our only chance. And the Queen is arrogant, she will think that she is safe in her castle.” Clarke was silent for several minutes, looking down at the rendering of the northern stronghold. It looked as harsh as the landscape, imposing stone structures that looked impenetrable.

“So you want to sneak into the Queen’s fortress with a small group?”

“The best warriors of all the clans.”

“Led by you, on a mission that could very well be a suicide mission? If you succeed and get into the fortress but are discovered then you could die. If you fail, then your whole army will die. You need a better plan.” Clarke insisted.

“There may be no other way Clarke.” Lexa said. Clarke shook her head stubbornly, she wasn’t going to let Lexa act so recklessly.

“Find one.”

“Clarke, I know that you worry for me. But you do not need to, if it is my time there is nothing that can stop my death from coming to pass. This may be the best way to win this war.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to lose you, we’ll find another way.” Clarke’s tone left little room for argument, though Lexa was poised to argue with the blonde.

“This is a conversation to be had for a more appropriate hour. Let’s go back to bed.” Lexa said standing up and extending her hand to Clarke to help her stand. The two returned to their bed. The thought made Clarke pause, their bed. Clarke didn’t know at what point it just became natural for her to go to Lexa’s room instead of her own. “Clarke?”

Clarke broke out of her musing, realizing that she had been standing at the side of the bed for much longer than she planned. Lexa had already extinguished most of the candles except for the one on the bedside table and was now looking at Clarke expectantly. Clarke sat down on the side of the bed but didn’t lay down. Lexa kept her gaze on Clarke, watching as Clarke seemed to be lost in thought.

“It would be foolish to ask what is on your mind, but tell me.” Lexa requested, reaching her hand out and running her fingers down Clarke’s arm. Her touch was gentle, and it never failed to elicit goosebumps on Clarke’s skin.

“I just don’t want to lose this.” Clarke said. There was no question to what Clarke was referring. Lexa enjoyed it too, knowing that she could come back to her room and be with Clarke, without the expectations of her people weighing down on her shoulder.

“We won’t.” Lexa promised.

“This peace was so short lived.”

“After the Ice Nation, there is no one left to fight.” Lexa said.

“Will you tell me the history of the Ice Nation and the Trikru? You were able to bring the other clans into the coalition. Why not the Ice Nation?” Clarke wasn’t tired at all, her mind was running a mile a minute and she wouldn’t be able to sleep until her questions were answered.

“Clarke, it is late.” Lexa said tiredly. She was intellectually tired and physically tired. But she recognized the look of determination that shone in Clarke’s eyes and knew that she was not likely to get any sleep.

“Please.” Lexa took a deep breath and nodded. Sitting up slowly, Lexa rested against the headboard.

“The Ice Queen murdered my predecessor. The Ice Queen sent her assassin to poison her food. That is why I do not eat anything that has not been tasted. The poison was slow, at first she was only ill but then she got worse, and worse until she could not eat. She wasted away over the course of a week. When a Commander’s spirit passed from one to the next, it takes with it the life memories of all of the commanders before.”

“How?”

“They aren’t clear memories, just feelings. A lot of the time they come as dreams. I remember growing up I would always suffer from the worst nightmares. Visions of things that had happened long before I had been born. My parents knew what was happening to me, and they explained it to me as best as they could. But at such a young age I didn’t care that I was to be the Commander. I just wanted the dreams to stop. I kept dreaming about Drea’s death, how it must have felt. Talia told me that the reason why, was because Drea’s spirit could not rest. Her death had not been avenged yet.”

“Why wasn’t it? The assassination of a Commander seems like it would be something that the army would march for.”

“Many people wanted to, the army was itching for it. But this was before the coalition, we had no allies. And Talia was not able to declare war, only a Commander could do such a thing. They would have to wait until I was old enough to declare war.” Lexa looked away from Clarke, her eyes glossy and lost in memory. She did not like to think of her childhood, when she could remember little more than the nightmares.

“How old would you have needed to be?”

“They would not take me seriously as a Commander until I had gone through training. The typical age is between 14 and 15 years old.”

“What happened?” Clarke asked her hand seeking out Lexa’s.

“At the age of ten I marched into Polis and I demanded they listen to me.” Clarke could picture that, little Lexa standing in front of Talia and the generals and demanding that they listened to her.

“Did they listen?”

“Not at first. But I was promising them what they already wanted. I won over the army by promising them a victory over the Ice Nation. They had to listen to me. I was their Commander, and I commanded them to listen. I was anointed Commander and in the same month I had mobilized the army to march north.

“We destroyed every village in our path, innocent or not it didn’t matter. Men, women, children, all of them fell to our swords or were taken back as slaves. By the time we reached the Queen’s fortress. Her army waited for us, but she wasn’t among them. It was so cold up there, but I barely felt it. Instead, she had sent her son to lead her army. The fight was brutal, so much blood spilt that it stained the snow covered ground red. I killed her son. We destroyed the Queen’s army, there wasn’t anyone left alive but we had suffered losses too and we couldn’t remain up north. But we’d won.”

A silence fell over the bedroom so heavy that it was almost suffocating. Lexa was afraid to look at Clarke, she didn’t want Clarke to think that she was a monster. Clarke understood now the history of bad blood between the Ice Nation and the Trikru.

“Blood was satisfied.”

“Blood will never truly be satisfied until the Queen is dead. But, it was a turning point. When I returned triumphant from the north, I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to unify the clans so that I could return north with a larger force and finish what I started. Many of the clans agreed to follow my rule because of what I had done at such a young age.”

“I can understand why.”

“And then Costia. My focus was on the other clans, I had pushed the Ice Nation out of my mind because we had destroyed their army. I did not think that they were a threat. So, while I was off dealing with clan disputes and treaties, spies snuck into Polis and took Costia.” Lexa felt tears sting her eyes, but she refused to cry. Even in front of Clarke she couldn’t cry anymore.

“I’m sorry Lexa.”

“I won’t make the same mistake again, I will not leave the north without the Ice Queen’s head.”

* * *

 

During one of the breaks in the summit, Clarke went for a walk, needing to clear her head and vent her frustrations. Lexa had not voiced her plan to send a small group to sneak into the fortress, Clarke knew better than to think that it meant that Lexa had given up the idea. But she would take the small victory and instead had listened to the new ideas that the other leaders had. None of them were feasible. Clarke learned that the fortress was not only an impenetrable building but it would also be nearly impossible to get to. The building was almost completely surrounded by water that froze over during the heart of winter. Marching an army over it with thousands of people would break the ice.

Walking through the Arkers camp, Clarke saw a familiar face sitting at one of the tables and she couldn’t help but go towards it.

“Should I be worried about what you’re building?” Clarke asked sitting opposite Raven as she tinkered with a piece of machinery.

“Very probably.” Raven said forcing the machine parts together and then set it down.

“What is it?”

“What I’m planning for it to be is a solar powered portable heater.” Raven said. She’d heard about what they were planning, and she knew that they were going to need something to keep them warm when they ran out of firewood.

“You’re a genius.”

“True. But I figure, you don’t want your lady to be an icicle when she comes back. If we can figure out how to solve their warmth problem then they can focus on kicking some ass.” Raven answered.

“Thanks Raven.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m not sure that I can get it to work. I’ve got Wick looking for the parts I need. But since we’re not that close to the Ark or Mount Weather we’ll have to make do with what we have. How are things going in there?”

“A stalemate. They all agree that war is necessary but they can’t agree on how.”

“What does the Commander want to do?”

“Nothing that I’m going to allow her to do.” Clarke answered.

“Not even married yet and already laying down the law huh?” Raven teased.

“Someone’s got to. Let me know if there is anything that you need.” Clarke said standing up, they’d want to get the summit started again.

* * *

 

Lexa watched as Clarke entered the audience hall, they had both gotten little sleep the night before but she was also glad that they had talked. It made her feel closer to Clarke, knowing that Clarke knew the worst parts of Lexa’s history. Across the room their eyes met, and Clarke smiled softly before she was walking towards her mother. Lexa itched to walk towards Clarke, to stand by her, touch her. The yearning was foreign to Lexa.

“I hear congratulations are in order.” Lexa looked up and saw Noma standing next to her.

“Congratulations?”

“On your impending marriage to the Sky Princess.” Noma explained needlessly.

“Speak your mind Noma. Coy does not become you.”

“I have spoken what I meant to say Heda, congratulations.” Lexa looked at Noma for a moment, unsure if she believed Noma. But she saw nothing but sincerity in Noma. They had been bitter rivals when Lexa had tried to get Noma to join the coalition. But there had also been respect between the two of them, now Lexa dared to even say they were friends. Noma, being the closest to Lexa in age.

“Thank you.”

“Is she worthy of you?” There was a lightness to Noma’s tone that told Lexa that she was being teased.

“It is I who is not worthy of her.” Lexa answered honestly.

“Then I look forward to getting to know her better.”

“She will impress you.”

“She already has. These Sky People are different, their ways are strange. But I can see the strength in them. You were wise to make allies of them.”

“Do the others feel the same?” Lexa asked, she knew that no one would speak out against her to her face. She had proven to them all that she commanded the loyalty of the majority of clan leaders. To speak out against Lexa, meant to possibly face the might of the other clans as well.

“They do. Some say it’s overdue that you get married.”

“There have always been other priorities.”

“Happiness should be one of your priorities Heda.”

“We should get back to the meeting.”


	17. Chapter 16

**In chapter 16 we have a lot more setting the chess pieces as it were, we've got some angst, some fluff, some mother/daughter bonding between Clarke and Abby. Some bonding between Lexa and Lincoln, and FINALLY the wedding. Forgive me, I threw a lot at you guys. :) Enjoy**

Chapter 16

Lexa couldn’t believe that Echo was still alive. Approaching the girl slowly, cautious, though not because she was afraid. The prisoner was securely bound, Lexa was sure that even if she wasn’t, the girl was in no condition to attack. Lexa was afraid that her presence might frighten the girl into a premature grave. Her warriors had been trying to get information from the girl for days. Using every method they could think of the extract the information. But the prisoner had resolve. She refused to speak no matter what they put her through. Lexa could see several fingernails missing from the girls hands. And then finally, when they were about to simply kill her because she had outlived her usefulness, she spoke. Though she requested to speak only to Lexa.

“What did you have to say to me?” Lexa asked finally, watching the heavy rise and fall of the girl’s chest. Every breath seemed to be agonizingly painful.

“They tell stories of you, in the North.” Echo wheezed, looking up at Lexa defiantly. She hadn’t known what to expect when she had come down to attack. Raised with the image of some demonic woman, someone who was possessed by the purest of evils, she did not expect to find Lexa as she was.

“What do they say of me?” Lexa wondered aloud.

“None of it is kind.” Echo laughed, though her laugh dissolved into a fit of coughs.

“I would expect not, speak Echo, then your suffering can end.”

“I have no love of the Ice Queen. And I do not wish to die for her.” Echo voiced. She spoke with that last vestiges of hope. She did not know if Lexa would spare her, she was convinced that Lexa wouldn’t. But, if there was a chance of it she would not waste it.

“Then why do you fight for her?”

“In the North, you have no choice but to fight. After you came, she needed to replenish her army.”

“Are you asking for sympathy? You will not receive any. Your party cost me one of my Generals. Your goal was to harm the one that I love, any of these crimes calls for your death as punishment. The only reason you live, is because the Skai Prisa wishes it.” Lexa circled the girl. Impressed with how much Echo had endured.

“I am not afraid of death.”

“Good.”

“You will not breach the outer walls. They are as thick as a man is tall. And she will see you coming. Your army will break upon the walls like waves and they will all die.”

“Are you offering me battle strategy now?” Lexa tried to hide the fact that she knew this was true. She knew that when she marched her men up to the Ice Queen’s castle, it didn’t matter how many of them there were. She could not hope to breach the walls.

“I am offering you a way to save your warriors.”

“Why should I listen to anything you have to say?”

“I am dead anyway, what reason do I have to lie?” Echo questioned, using the last bits of strength she had to lift her head up and look Lexa in the eye. Lexa didn’t know what it was, didn’t know why she felt inclined to believe Echo. But there was truth in the girl’s eyes that made Lexa believe her.

“Go on.”

“There is a way into the castle, from underneath. A series of tunnels that is guarded but not nearly as strongly as it should. It leads into the servants section of the castle. You could enter there. She would be so focused on the main battle she would not think that you would know of it.” Lexa remembered the promise that she had made Clarke. The promise that she would not do something like this, but if what Echo said was true then they would be able to go directly to the Ice Queen.

“If you are lying to me, I will make you beg for death.”

“I believe you.”

“Cut her down. Let her sit in here until we have proof of her words.” Lexa instructed, turning to leave.

“You believe her Heda?” Cole asked as they walked out of the prison cells. Lexa waited until they were far out of ear shot from Echo’s cell before she answered.

“I know she speaks the truth.”

“How do you know this?”

“Before the bombs, there was a dam where the Ice Queen’s castle now stands. There are access tunnels that go underneath the structure. I have seen the plans. I had assumed that they would be filled in, apparently they were not.” Lexa said. She remembered seeing the designs of the dam during her research. She had overlooked them at first, how could the Ice Queen overlook such a blatant weakness. And yet, because of the Queen’s over confidence, Lexa could see such an oversight being made.

“Do you trust the assassin Heda?”

“I saw no deception in her eyes.” Cole knew better than to question Lexa’s instinct. She had not led them astray so far.

“Sha Heda.”

“You will speak of this to no one. No one can know that this is our plan.” Lexa instructed. She didn’t want word getting to Clarke that she was going to do what she had promised Clarke she wouldn’t.

“Sha Heda.”

* * *

 

”She won’t fight again.” Abby spoke in a hushed voice, but she knew that Lexa had heard her. The doctor had caught Lexa as she had come to visit Indra, she wanted to give Lexa the news before she saw the distraught General. Only minutes before, Abby had told Indra the same news and had been instructed to leave before Indra showed Abby how capable she was at fighting.

“You do not know her strength.” Lexa countered.

“But I know medicine, and I know what her injuries are. One of the lacerations nicked a nerve in her back. She will be lucky if she is able to walk again.” Abby knew that news like this would be difficult for the young Commander. Indra was one of Lexa’s top generals, but Abby knew that it was more than that.

“Have you told her what you have just told me?” Lexa asked looking at the healing tent. Lexa could guess how Indra was taking the news and the General should not be alone while she processed the news. The risk of her doing something drastic was too high.

“Just did. I don’t know how she is taking it, she told me to leave.” Abby said, she knew enough about Indra to know how proud the woman was. News like this must be devastating. Lexa walked passed Abby and into the tent, the smell of incense hit Lexa first, a collection of herbs that they believed to aid the healing process. Her eyes sought out Indra on the bed that had become her home for the past weeks but she found it empty.

“Indra.” Lexa looked around the darkness, trying to find the older woman. She could not have escaped without being seen.

“Heda.” Spinning around, Lexa saw Indra sitting on the ground against the far wall of the tent. She must have gotten up after Abby had left, trying to prove to herself that she could still walk. Crossing the distance of the tent in a few short strides Lexa knelt in front of her General. She had seen the look of defeat on many a warriors faces, but she had never seen it on Indra’s. It stole away her ability to form words for several long minutes. She could see the pain, both physical and emotional, come through Indra’s eyes.

“You should not be up.” Lexa said finally, reaching out to help Indra stand. The General did not protest the help, though she was unable to meet Lexa’s eyes as the Commander practically lifted her to her feet. Once Indra was seated on the bed, Lexa moved away from the bed.

“The fisa told you.” Indra said, it wasn’t a question. She had known as soon as Lexa had walked into the tent that Lexa knew her diagnosis.

“She does not know your strength.” Lexa insisted. Indra couldn’t help but smile at Lexa’s stubbornness. It was a trait that the two of them shared. But Indra had felt the weakness in her legs when she had walked. Weakness that Abby had told her would not go away. If she could barely walk, then she would have no hope on the battlefield.

“If what she says is true…” Indra began, she had been a warrior her whole life. She didn’t know any other way to be. The thought of not fighting filled her with such disgust, but worse than that she did not know if she could handle the look of pity on the faces of every Trikru she passed. She could think of no worse way to live than to live a pitied life.

“It might not be.” Lexa insisted. There was a pleading note to her tone, one that reminded Indra of Lexa’s age, it made her seem young. “I have lost Gustus, I refuse to lose you as well.”

“You are a great Leader, Heda. One that I have been honored to serve. But you must grant me this last request. If I cannot be a warrior, if I cannot serve you in the army as I have done my entire life, then I have no more purpose. I request you honor the rite of Gonakru Wamplei.”

Lexa knew that Indra would ask this of her, she had known as soon as she walked in the tent. But somehow that did not prepare her for the request. Hearing Indra say the words out loud. If she refused this request, it would be seen as weakness. She could not refuse a request such as this for a General as beloved as Indra was.

“If that is your wish, I will honor your request. But, not until all attempts to heal you have been attempted.”

“Sha Heda.”

* * *

The Clan leaders were growing restless, they were not accustomed to being kept waiting and already they had been waiting for Lexa for almost an hour. It was not like Lexa to be absent when the others came in to begin the summit meeting. Clarke was getting worried, Lexa hadn’t been there when she’d woken up, and she hadn’t been able to find Lexa before being called to the Summit meeting. She had thought that she would find Lexa there, and she could ask Lexa where she had been.

When the doors opened to the main audience hall, everyone assumed that it would be Lexa. They were all surprised to find that Talia stood before them with no sign of Lexa.

“Heda sends her apologies but she had cancelled the meeting for today.” Talia said with unwavering sureness in her voice. Clarke had to hand it to Talia, if she had to deliver this news to a group of already grumpy clan leaders she would not be as calm.

“Where is the Commander?” Grander demanded.

“She has other business to attend to today. Meetings will resume tomorrow.” And with that Talia turned and left the room. Clarke was out of her seat in record speed, following Talia in hopes of finding out where Lexa was, and what was so important that she had to cancel the summit meeting.

“Talia.” Clarke called bringing the older woman to a stop. Talia turned and greeted Clarke with a nod. “Where is Lexa?”

“She does not wish to be disturbed.”

“What happened? Is she alright?” Talia hesitated, which told Clarke everything that she needed to know.

“She wishes to be alone.” Talia repeated, turning and walking away. In truth, she didn’t know where Lexa was. Lexa wasn’t in any of places that she normally would go. If she didn’t want to be found, then it meant that whatever was troubling her was bad. And it filled her with a sickening worry that she didn’t want to share with Clarke. Though from the look in Clarke’s eyes told Talia that the blonde knew the feeling all too well.

* * *

Lexa sat under the thin canopy of branches, listening to the sound of rain as it poured around her. The trees offered her some shelter from the falling drops, but there wasn’t a point. The rain didn’t bother her. She grew up in these trees, she knew the strength of the branches. She’d been sitting up, high in the tree for hours. Thinking about everything, letting the forest speak to her, council her.

Hearing the leaves rustling against the wind Lexa opened her eyes, her hand gripping her dagger in a loose, comfortable grip. Another branch groaned with the added weight of someone upon it, and Lexa extended her arm. Her blade pressing against the skin of Lincoln’s throat tight enough to form a thin line of blood. Lincoln stopped short, he knew not to sneak up on Lexa. That Lexa probably had known that he was coming while he was still climbing the adjacent tree.

“I could have killed you.” Lexa said tucking her dagger away in her belt and turning her attention back to the forest. Lincoln settled on the branch next to her and was silent for several long moments. She didn’t think that he came out to keep her company. He wanted to speak with her, but he was allowing her to initiate conversation. Forcing her into conversation was not the best way to get him whatever it was he came to ask for. “You did not come out here to watch the rain Lincoln. Ron ridiyo op.”

“I heard about Indra. I know that Abby has said that she will not fight again.”

“You speak of things I already know.” Lexa cut short.

“I know that we have not always seen eye to eye, and Indra has thought of me as a traitor for my friendship with the Sky People. But, to honor her, let me help you lead the army.” Lincoln said. Lexa looked over at him, knowing what he was suggesting but finding it hard to picture that Lincoln was suggesting it.

“Lincoln the pacifist, offering to help lead my army? Time has changed you.” Lexa said unable to keep the humor from her voice. She remembered before this whole ordeal, when Indra had told her that Lincoln wanted to be a healer, that he had no interest in fighting despite his skill at it. She had thought it a waste. He was one of the most promising fighters Indra had to offer from TonDC and yet, Lincoln refused to fight.

“Time has changed me. Let me help lead our people north.”

“I do not have room for a pacifist at my table. Are you willing to sacrifice your morals to do what needs to be done?” Lexa asked.

“I am.” Lincoln said quickly. He knew that she was looking for any sign of hesitation, any sign that he wasn’t sure that this was what he wanted to do.

“Good. I want you to be at the Summit meeting tomorrow. I can introduce you to the other clan leaders.” Lexa said pushing off of the branch and letting gravity take her down to the ground. She landed seamlessly on the forest floor and started walking away.

* * *

Lexa walked the halls of the palace, aware that there were hushed whispers everywhere that she went. She had been gone for an entire day, missed out on a summit meeting that was not like her. She walked for a long time, no real destination in mind, until she found herself in the library. Inhaling the scent of the books that filled the room. It was quiet, she would have thought that she was alone until she heard the sound of pages turning. She wasn’t the only one that had come to the library to seek sanctuary. She didn’t need to look very hard to tell who it was sitting at one of the small tables, the blonde hair was a dead giveaway.

“Clarke.” Lexa said, clearly surprising Clarke out of the far off realm that she had been in during her reading. Lexa couldn’t tell what book Clarke had been reading.

“Where have you been? Why are you soaking wet?” Clarke demanded standing up and completely forgetting about the book and walking towards Lexa. Lexa had forgotten that she was wet, growing up on Earth had given her a blasé attitude towards rain. But it could still be a novelty to Clarke sometimes.

“I was out in the forest, it is where I go to think sometimes. I should have told you.” Lexa answered sheepishly. She did feel bad that she had worried Clarke. And Clarke didn’t need to say the words for Lexa to feel the worry radiating off of Clarke.

“Are you okay? I talked to my mom about Indra. She is strong, she’ll-“

“-she’ll never fight again. She will be lucky if she walks again.” Lexa interrupted. She didn’t need Clarke to fill her with promises of things that would never be.

“Are you okay?”

“I have to be.”

“Not here, not with me. If you want to be angry, if you want to be sad, or hurt, that’s okay. It’s just me.” Clarke said cupping the sides of Lexa’s face and making her look at Clarke.

“I have lost Tristan, Anya, Gustus, and now Indra. They were more than my Generals. They taught me, advised me, they raised me. I cannot keep losing them.” Lexa uttered softly, whispering it as if she was afraid that someone else might overhear.

“You haven’t lost Indra.” Clarke didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand the way things were on the ground. Lexa tried not to be angry with Clarke for being so naïve. But a small part of her couldn’t help it.

“You don’t understand.” Lexa snapped pushing Clarke away. Clarke felt her head spin at the sudden change in Lexa.

“Help me understand.”

“When a warrior in injured, we do not shun them. We do what we can honor them, make their lives as easy as possible with whatever restrictions they require. I know that it is easy for your people to say that we are savages. But we owe everything we have t our warriors and what they have provided us. So, for those who can, they live the rest of their lives however they wish.” Lexa explained but as she spoke each word got more and more painful to speak. It was the kind of life that every warrior dreamed on. One of distinction, respect, and honor.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“There are others, those whose destiny is to die on the battlefield.”

“Indra?”

“There is a ritual. I will have to kill her Clarke.”

“What do you mean?”

“She will publically challenge me to a duel. A fight to the death.”

“She won’t stand a chance.”

“No.”

“It’s suicide.” Clarke exclaimed as if Lexa didn’t already know that. “Would she really ask you to do that?”

“It would be an honor to do so. And seen as weakness if I do not.”

“How can I help you? I know that you’re in pain, but I don’t know how to help.” Clarke confessed helplessly. Lexa laughed, a sad, humorless laugh. Wiping furiously at her eyes, it would be impossible to tell if she was brushing away tears or the rain water. But, Clarke knew which it was and her heart broke for Lexa.

“There are some things that the Commander is forced to face alone.” Lexa said.

“This shouldn’t be one of them. I want to be here for you.”

“I want to let you Clarke. But, I am not good at this.”

“I can teach you.”

Clarke never thought that this would be the circumstances leading up to her undressing Lexa. But, they stood in the center of Lexa’s large bedroom with the door closed and locked with strict orders they were not to be disturbed. And layer by layer, Clarke removed Lexa’s clothes until Lexa was in her under clothes and even those were soaked through leaving very little to the imagination. Clarke tried to hide her blush by looking away, but instead all she saw was the long muscular stretch of Lexa’s calf.

Shaking her head Clarke chastised herself for letting her thoughts stray. She was here to support Lexa, Lexa was finally allowing her in. And she couldn’t keep her mind from perving out. Hearing the tea pot begin to boil on the fireplace gave Clarke the perfect excuse to move away from Lexa. With how cold the weather had turned and how long Lexa had been moving around in soaking wet clothing Clarke only hoped that Lexa wouldn’t get sick. Giving her herbal tea was the only thing that Clarke could think of that might boost Lexa’s immune system to fight off the cold.

When she turned around again, mug full of steaming tea that smelled of jasmine Clarke was secretly relieved to find that Lexa had put on a loose fitting over shirt that went down to her mid-thigh.

“Drink this.” Clarke instructed handing the tea over to Lexa.

“Are you afraid I am going to get sick? Not likely, I’ve been through worse weather than this and come out just fine.” Lexa insisted. Clarke bet that was probably true. On the Ark, things had always been so regulated. They didn’t have to worry about getting cold, or allergen’s in the air. Their immune systems were compromised, Clarke remembered her mother saying something about it when many of the Arker’s came down with colds shortly after landing.

“Humor me.” Clarke requested pressing the warm mug more firmly into Lexa’s hands. Lexa nodded and accepted the mug, knowing that she was not going to win this battle.

“I do not wish to talk Clarke.” Lexa stated after several minutes of silence. Clarke sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Lexa drank her tea.

“That’s fine. I just want to be here for you in an environment where you don’t need to worry about everyone watching your movements. You can be angry, sad, worried, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to judge you or think less of you for it. I might just love you more for it.” Clarke said ducking her head to try and meet Lexa’s gaze. When their eyes did meet she couldn’t mistake the small, barely noticeable smile that formed at the corner of Lexa’s lips.

“What did I do to make me worthy of such love?” Lexa asked.

“You didn’t have to do anything.” Clarke said patting the spot next to her on the bed, inviting Lexa to come sit with her. It took her a moment, but Lexa moved to sit with Clarke. Once she had finished her tea Lexa set the mug on the floor and crawled up along the bed. She was tired, she wanted to sleep away the rest of the day and wake the next morning rejuvenated.

* * *

“What right do you have to be here?!” Cole demanded, looking across the table at Lincoln. His eyes were hard and unforgiving. When he saw Lincoln walk into the room his blood began to boil.

“I was invited by the Commander.” Lincoln said with a smug grin. He had nothing against Cole. In fact, he could even say that he respected the man. But he Lincoln didn’t want to be challenged on his first day as a General.

“Lincoln will be taking Indra’s place among the council until she is well enough to return.” Lexa said, having watched the power play between them.

“Sha Heda.” Cole said sending Lincoln one last glare before taking his seat. She didn’t offer any explanation as to why she had been gone the day before. Offering them an explanation would be telling them that she had done something that she thought needed excusing. The Commander never apologizes.

“When will your men be ready to march?”

It seemed all the clan leaders needed was a little motivation because after a few days, it seemed that their plan was set. Lexa was no longer in the mood to talk. By weeks end she had decided for them when, where, and how they would attack the North. Lexa was determined, a whirlwind of a woman, silently daring any of them to question her. But none of them did. Every question posed was answered as if she had already thought of it.

Lexa had always had a strength, and a conviction that Clarke had marveled at, envied, and even feared sometimes. But watching Lexa in the few summit sessions, Clarke encountered an entirely new side of Lexa. Clarke didn’t doubt for a moment that Lexa would conquer the north.

“We march on the new full moon.” Lexa announced. There was a hush of silence that came over the summit meeting. Each of them looking at Lexa, sure that they had misheard her. They could not hope to have everything prepared in time to march when Lexa wanted them too.

“That is not enough time to gather the resources that we will need for the trip Heda. You cannot hope to defeat the Ice Nation with a starving army that is half frozen to death.” Orin pointed out. It was his task to provide as many horses for the army as he could. As it was, he could only give a quarter of the army horses. Lexa had assured him that was enough.

“We will take the stores from Polis, TonDC, and the neighboring villages.”

“Leaving the people without food?” Abby asked.

“They will have better chance of replenishing their supply then we will.”

“Heda, we should wait until we have all the supplies that we need. When we can attack at full force.”

“I WILL NOT WAIT ANY LONGER!” Lexa roared. Her fury was enough to make even the strongest of them cower. Clarke stared at the brunette, her eyes wide with shock. She had never seen Lexa lose her temper before. As if sensing their collective surprise Lexa took several deep breaths and then looked around the room. “The longer we wait, the more chance we give the Ice Queen at preparing her defenses. She will expect us to wait because that is perhaps the reasonable thing to do. But we will attack them when they expect us to wait. We will hit them with everything.” Lexa announced. She spoke with such confidence that it seemed to spread to the rest of them. Even Abby was nearly swayed by Lexa’s words.

“Half your army will die of hypothermia before you even reach the north.” Abby spoke finally. Knowing that a good number of her own people would be going along with Lexa’s army, she couldn’t let them go when she knew that they were marching to almost certain death. Lexa pinned Abby with a glare that made Abby’s blood run cold.

“Then the other half will only fight harder.” The other clan leaders nodded their agreement. And then it seemed like a fever gripped them, the thirst for war that filled them driving their fists against the table until the rhythm they created was deafening like thunder.

“The full moon. Make the final preparations.” Lexa said before she turned and left the room.

The room quickly emptied, as each clan leader left to make the preparations that were demanded of them. Finally, only Clarke and Abby remained. Clarke was unwilling to meet her mother’s gaze, knowing that Abby would expect that Clarke explain Lexa’s actions to Abby. But she had no answer as to what had caused Lexa to suddenly announce the date for when they would march. Their plans were still in the formation stages last time Clarke checked.

“She’s going to get herself killed Clarke.” Abby cautioned.

“She knows what she’s doing.”

“Does she? What part of that whole show seemed like Lexa is in control right now? They are going to die of hypothermia if they don’t starve first. And even if they freeze with their stomachs full then she leaves her entire city without defense and without food. Clarke, this is madness.” Abby said approaching her daughter. Hoping that she could get Clarke to agree with her.

“They will not be without defense.” Lexa’s voice cut through the room, she didn’t shout and yet her voice seemed to echo. Abby tensed. She had not thought that her words would be overheard. Clarke would forgive her for speaking her mind, but she was on very fragile ground with Lexa as it was.

“Commander.”

“You forget Abby of the Sky People, my people are my priority. You think I will starve them, there has not been a single family that has not begged to give us what little they can to help. Every man, woman, and child, not fitted in armor would die of shame to think that their bellies were full and those of the warriors fighting for them were not. As for their defenses, Trikru are trained to fight and hunt from birth.” Lexa stated. Her voice low, monotone and threatening. As she walked closer to Abby, as much as the older woman wanted to be defiant and show this girl that she was stronger, she couldn’t. She lowered her gaze, silently submitting to Lexa. Clarke watched this exchange, torn, not for the first time between her mother and the woman she was in love with.

“I didn’t mean to imply…” Abby faltered. She hadn’t meant to imply that Lexa didn’t care about her people. And she most definitely didn’t mean to be caught questioning it.

“I understand your concern Abby. I just wish that you would understand, war is what we do.”

“Alright.” There was a tense moment of silence that passed between the three women. Clarke was caught, figuratively and literally between them and didn’t know which one she wanted to side with.

“I am glad that you are here Abby, I wished to speak with the two of you about the union between me and Clarke. We had decided to do it once the summit had concluded.” Though it wasn’t spoken as one, Clarke knew that Lexa was asking. Clarke smiled softly and nodded, telling Lexa silently that she still wanted this.

“What did you want to speak about?” Abby asked.

“Traditions of the Sky People. We are not a religious people. But if you would prefer you can have one of your priests preside over the ceremony.”

“How are the ceremonies done on the ground?” Abby asked.

“They can be as private or as public as the two would like. In the past, the Commander’s unions have been private. Attended only by the clan leaders and a few selected guests. And then the celebration moves into the city.”

“I think that I like that option.” Clarke said. She didn’t want a large wedding, even when she was on the Ark she had wanted something small. But wedding on the Ark were used as a distraction from the perils of their lives. It was an Ark wide celebration.

“Then that is what shall be done. Are there any other traditions that you wish?” Clarke looked at her mother, the older woman was silent. Neither one of them wanted to broach the subject of the father walking Clarke down the aisle because it no longer applied to them.

“Can I choose who is there?” Clarke asked changing the subject as quickly as she was able to find her voice.

“Yes.”

“Then I think that is it.”

“What of your people’s traditions?” Abby asked warily. She didn’t want to find out that the Grounders had some kind of barbaric ritual.

“Clarke and I will spend the night before the ceremony apart. To prepare our spirits to be bound together.” Lexa watched the smile on Clarke’s face fall, warmth filling her chest with love for Clarke. She didn’t like the idea of being without Clarke either.

“What does preparing our spirits entail? Clarke asked curiously.

“It’s mostly ceremonial. The idea is that, if you spend the night ridding yourself of all doubt, all shame, and guilt. You leave your past behind you and you are ready to open up your spirit for the future. I’ve been told that some people meditate. Other people drink themselves into oblivion. And some…” Lexa’s eyes dropped. She didn’t like the last option, the thought of it made her stomach sick and her blood boil.

“Some what?” Clarke saw the look on Lexa’s face.

“Some take it as an opportunity to experience the flesh of others before being bound to someone else.”

“That is allowed?” Clarke asked surprised. She didn’t think that adultery would be allowed by the grounders.

“It is not common. But, should you wish to, on this night it would be allowed.” Lexa offered. Abby looked between the two girls and decided that it was time for her to take her leave. She slipped out of the room with them barely noticing it. Once the door was closed and they were alone Clarke stepped closer to Lexa, cupping Lexa’s face in her hands and making the Commander look at her.

“There isn’t anyone else I want to be with.” Clarke promised. Lexa nodded, pleased to hear that.

“I am glad to hear it. But if there is another, someone that you wish to experience before you are tied to me forever, you need to fear repercussion from me.”

“Who do you think that I want to sleep with?” Clarke asked ducking her head so that she could make Lexa meet her gaze. Lexa’s eyes shone with an openness that Clarke seemed to be able to bring out in her.

“Bellamy.” Lexa confessed. She had wondered if there was more that went on between Bellamy and Clarke than just friendship. But she had been afraid to ask. She thought that if Clarke had been free to take another lover, it might be Bellamy.

“I don’t think of Bellamy like that. So, don’t even worry about that. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good, I’m glad that we have that settled.” Looping her hands around Lexa’s neck she pulled the brunette closer still until they were inches apart.

“Do you think me foolish?” Lexa asked tightening her arms around Clarke’s waist.

“No. I think it’s kind of cute that you get jealous sometimes.”

“Cute?”

“You know, delightful, or charming.”

“I know what the word means. I do not think that anyone has called the Commander ‘cute’.” Lexa said with fake indignation.

“I can call you cute if I want to.”

“I can be cute for you then.”

Clarke pulled Lexa towards her, pressing her lips softly against Lexa’s. Kissing her slowly, leisurely. Lexa allowed herself to be kissed in such a way, stepping back until her back came against the edge of the table. When Clarke deepened the kiss, Lexa tried to take control of it. Showing her hunger for Clarke. But Clarke made her slow, she wanted to cherish that moment. Lexa tolerated it for a moment, but her patient quickly started to wane as her hunger for Clarke grew.

Tightening her grip against Clarke’s hips, tugging her forward until Clarke collided her into her with a laugh.

“When you are my wife, I will map every inch of your body with my finger tips and my mouth.” Lexa whispered hotly against the skin of Clarke’s neck.

“When?” Clarke asked, a slight whine in her voice, her knees threatening to give out on her. Lexa’s smile was positively wolfish.

“Whenever you wish.” Lexa answered pressing a lingering kiss on Clarke’s neck before she pushed Clarke away.

“How do you do that?” Clarke demanded, though there was no real anger in her voice.

“What?”

“Have such good willpower.”

“I think there is a saying, ‘good things come to those who wait’?”

“Will we have a honeymoon?” Clarke asked.

“A what?”

“It’s sort of like a period of time where newly-weds can spend together, just the two of them. On the Ark, it was a time when they were excused from work duty and allowed to just spend time celebrating the fact that they were married. Back before the world ended, I’ve heard that people went on vacations to exotic places. Beaches and island paradises. I’ve seen pictures of an island called Hawaii.” Clarke said almost dreamily.

“We will have several days to celebrate our union. And when I get back from the north, we can go to the Southern lands.”

“Southern lands?”

“They are beautiful. A place what we can go to celebrate our marriage when this war is done. I hope that is alright?”

“It sounds lovely. But we’ll have at least a few days together before?”

“Of course.”

* * *

Lexa couldn’t believe how integral Clarke had become in her life until she was forced to live without the blonde. Even though it was only for a day, she could handle 24 hours without Clarke. If she was going to go on a military campaign she was going to need to get used to being with Clarke.

“Could you look a little less miserable?” Talia teased walking into Lexa’s bedroom and finding Lexa sulking in the corner. Lexa turned towards the older woman and fashioned her best glare, but the older woman seemed completely unfazed by it. “I hear that Clarke’s friends insist on celebrating tonight. They call it a bachelorette party?”

Lexa had asked Clarke to explain to her what that was. A celebration for women the night before they get married, a night of drunken debauchery.

“Make sure that the healers have plenty of herbal tea ready for them in the morning.” Lexa answered.

“I am told, that many of the warriors wish to celebrate your upcoming marriage with you tonight.”

“I am going to join them in a few hours, when the sun goes down.”

“And until then you are going to sulk and miss your woman?”

“It is that obvious?” Lexa asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

“I was going to go to Costia’s grave. Say my final goodbyes.”

“Would you like company?”

“No, thank you.”

“I’ll see you tonight then.”

* * *

Clarke looked over the rim of her glass, she wasn’t even sure what kind of alcohol was in the glass that Monty had given her. But from the smell of it she was sure that it would soon have her drunk off her ass. She watched as her friends laughed, and they joked and they acted like kids again. Even some of the adults took part, and the seriousness that had come over them when ever since they had come to Earth seemed to fade.

Abby sat with Marcus by a large fire that crackled and roared bright into the sky, spewing sparks into the night. Clarke hadn’t seen her mother smile this much in days. Briefly she wondered if there was something between Abby and Marcus. She didn’t know how she felt about it. The thought that her mother might be moving on from her father. But, Abby deserved happiness too.

“You are doing this bachelorette thing all wrong.” Octavia stated practically falling on Clarke as she walked by. It was clear from the slur in her voice that she had been drinking much more of Monty’s concoction than Clarke.

“And how should I be doing it?”

“You should be drunk for one. And for two…” Octavia stopped, though she looked as if she had at one point had something to say.

“I think you can have my drink.” Clarke laughed, handing her cup to Octavia.

“Missing your lady already? Kinda pathetic.” Raven said sitting down on the log next to Clarke.

“Shut up, it’s been a while since we’ve been apart. I have gotten used to it.” Clarke answered. She knew that it was pathetic. That she should be able to go 24 hours without missing Lexa. But she couldn’t help but wonder what Lexa was up to. Occasionally, they would hear the cheers of the warriors along the outer wall of the city. She knew that was where Lexa was going, celebrating with her warriors.

“I finished working on the heaters. I took a few pieces from the Ark hull, they’ll work off of solar power so as long as they have sunlight they’ll be warm.” Raven said reassuringly.

“Thank you. I don’t think you know how much that means to me.” Clarke said looking at Raven. They had been through a lot, they were friends until Clarke had been forced to kill Finn. And then, their friendship had been estranged, but slowly they rebuilt it. Now Clarke, could not picture her life without Raven.

“I know how much it means to you, that’s why I did it.” Raven said nudging Clarke with her shoulder and then bringing her cup to her lips and taking a healthy swallow. “So, are you really going to go the whole night without seeing Lexa? Or do you have some plan in the works to sneak off for a secret rendezvous?”

“I can’t. This is an important ritual for them.”

“That’s lame.”

“I want you there with me tomorrow Raven. I know that you and Lexa haven’t always seen eye to eye. But, well, she said that I could chose who

* * *

“OUR COMMANDER IS GETTING MARRIED!” There was a roar of cheers from the masses. Lexa looked around at the crowd that had formed. She was not one for the splendor of it, and she suspected that was why Cole was doing it. She would have much rather sat in quiet celebration with Luna.

 _Heda! Heda! Heda!_ The chants continued for several long moments and then the crowd went back to their merriment.

 

“This is precisely what the warriors needed before battle.” Luna said looking at the men. The other clan leaders made sure that they were nearby to celebrate with Lexa, but not to encroach upon her.

“I’m afraid that I didn’t do this for them.” Lexa said with a laugh. Knowing that was not what her friend had meant with her comment.

“I would hope that you didn’t.”

Lexa knew that she was supposed to be enjoying the festivities of what was going on around her. The tradition of this night had been lost and was now just an excuse to drink alcohol and go crazy in celebration. But, Lexa couldn’t help but remember that she was supposed to be clearing her mind, making peace with her demons. Though she had few regrets about her past, other than the ones that she had already reconciled. She had spent a great deal of time at Costia’s grave. Though it wasn’t all about seeking permission from her dead lover. She knew that it would have been Costia’s wish for Lexa to move on after her death. But it seemed to be where Lexa did a great deal of her thinking. And it was a place that she knew she would not be disturbed.

“You do not partake in the festivities Heda?” Noma asked looking at Lexa’s empty glass, sure that it had been that way for a long time.

“I do not like to drink to excess. It is enough to see that the warriors are enjoying themselves.” Lexa said watching as Lincoln walked through the camp towards them. He had been with Clarke earlier, celebrating with the Sky People. Most Grounders thought that Lincoln was more Sky Person then Grounder these days. His appointment to one of Lexa’s generals was not well received by many.

“I thought you would be with Octavia all night.” Lexa said as Lincoln sat. He looked like he had been drinking some if the slight stagger in his step was anything to go by.

“Clarke sent me to see how you were faring. She misses you.” Lincoln said. Lexa’s cheek flushed as Luna and Noma laughed. It was no secret the power that Clarke held over Lexa. But Lexa wasn’t always a huge fan of being reminded of it.

* * *

The following morning, just as the sun rose Clarke returned to the palace. With a yawn she stumbled through the halls towards her bedroom. The celebrating had lasted all night, most of her friends had passed out where they sat. But Clarke wanted to be well rested for the ceremony that evening. If she was lucky she would be able to sleep most of the morning, if not into the afternoon. Only waking when she had to get ready.

“You know that you aren’t supposed to see Lexa until the ceremony right?” Talia asked coming to walk beside Clarke. Maybe she was more tired than she thought, but she hadn’t even seen where Talia could have come from.

“I’m tired. I just want to sleep. If it’ll make you feel better I’ll go into the room with my eyes closed so I don’t see her.” Talia smiled softly at the young girl. She looked exhausted, and so she took pity on the blonde.

“Lexa was asking about you too. Go on.” Talia said nudging Clarke towards the bedroom door. Clarke almost lost her balance but caught herself at the last moment. Pushing open the door to the bedroom and seeing it bathed in the early morning sunlight. The curtains weren’t pulled but she didn’t even think that she would need it. She was just that tired. Pulling at her jacket and leaving it in a heap on the floor Clarke only stopped in her stride towards the bed when she saw that there was someone already in the bed. Rubbing her eyes to clear her blurred vision Clarke saw that it was Lexa. And the brunette appeared to already be asleep.

“I am surprised that the guard outside allowed you to come in.” Lexa said tiredly and without opening her eyes. Clarke knew that Lexa was referring to Talia.

“The warden thought that we had suffered enough.” Clarke said crawling onto the bed and settling next to Lexa, resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa moved effortlessly to accommodate Clarke’s proximity.

“Did you have fun?” Lexa asked still drifting in and out of sleep.

“I did. It was nice spending time with everyone. Did you?” Clarke asked running her hand along Lexa’s stomach, feeling the muscles there tense into the firm definition of Lexa’s abs.

“Mm it was nice. Lots of war stories.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Not after the third repetition of the same story, only told with more and more drunkenness.” Lexa said forcing her eyes open and looking down at Clarke. The blonde looked up and met Lexa’s gaze.

“Were you able to prepare your spirit to bind to mine?” Clarke asked. She wasn’t sure exactly what that meant for Lexa. But she needed to make sure that Lexa didn’t have any doubts about them. The marriage may have been Lexa’s idea, but that didn’t meant that she wasn’t having second thoughts.

“I am not having second thoughts Clarke. The tradition was mainly just ceremony. But yes, I am. Are you?”

“I was ready weeks ago.”

“Sleep Clarke. You won’t be getting much of it later.” Lexa said it so matter of fact that Clarke couldn’t help but laugh and nestle more into the comfort of Lexa’s arms and fall asleep.

They were both woken several hours later. Talia insisting that they both needed to eat something and then get ready. At first, Clarke was worried because she didn’t have anything to wear. Lexa laughed at Clarke’s nervousness and allowed Talia to take Clarke to get ready. Lexa knew what she had to do to get ready. The clothing she would wear was already picked out for her, and her war paint and her braids would be no different than Clarke had seen before. She would be seen as the Commander, even during the ceremony. And she needed to look the part. Down to the armor she wore.

Clarke on the other hand was given a simple dress made of the softest cotton that she had ever felt. She had thought that it would be a traditional white. But it was green. A rich, and deep forest green that she was told rather unnecessarily, that it was the color of the Trikru. After eating a light lunch, Clarke let Talia put the finishing touches on her cloths. That was how Abby found them, Clarke sitting in front of Lexa’s mirror with Talia working on her hair.

“You look beautiful.” Abby said looking at her daughter. Not as if Clarke was a little girl, she had learned that Clarke wasn’t a child anymore. But finally seeing Clarke as a young woman. Clarke looked at her mother through the reflection of the mirror and smiled.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Talia said leaving quickly knowing that mother and daughter needed some time alone. Abby wasted no time in crossing the room and standing behind Clarke. Making herself look busy by running her fingers through Clarke’s blonde hair. Though she was doing very little to actually style it.

“Your father would be very proud of you Clarke.” Abby took a huge risk in mentioning Jake. Knowing that it was still a sore subject between them, no matter how much they both promised they would try and move passed it.

“I wish he were here.” Clarke whispered. She didn’t mean for the words to hurt Abby, but knew that they would.

“Me too. He always wanted to walk you down the aisle someday.”

“That’s okay, you can give me away.” Clarke said turning to look up at her mom. Abby couldn’t fight the tears that now fell down her cheeks, hugging Clarke tightly from behind.

“Are you nervous?” Abby asked after several minutes. Clarke shrugged, she wasn’t really nervous. At least, she wasn’t nervous about getting married. She was mainly nervous about the ceremony. She needed this too perfectly, especially in front of the other clan leaders. She needed them to think that she was worthy of Lexa.

“I just want everything to go off without a hitch.” Clarke answered.

“And it will. There is a small army out there making sure that everything goes perfectly. Besides, Talia is in charge of making sure that nothing goes wrong. I would say that we’re pretty safe at avoiding any big catastrophes.”

“Mom! Do not jinx us!” Clarke exclaimed knocking on the wood of the desk in front of them.

It seemed like such a strange dichotomy, how in the span of one afternoon time could seem to be flying by one minute and dragging on the next. The ceremony would take place at sundown, and Clarke had never wanted the sun to set quicker. From the looks of it, Polis was already getting ready for the celebration, large fires were being set up, and from what Talia had explained to her there would be celebrations for probably a week or so. Sometimes the celebrations lasted for a month depending on the circumstances. Given the looming war that was coming they doubted that the celebration would last that long. But everyone was using the celebration of the wedding to take their mind off of the bloodshed that was no doubt coming.

Though it took forever, Clarke found herself finally being led to the audience chamber where the ceremony would take place. Talia led Clarke and Abby towards the room. It was a path that she had walked a hundred times and yet Clarke couldn’t help but take note of this particular trek. She counted the pillars that they passed, counted the doors that they passed. She wanted to remember everything about this time. And then she was standing outside the closed wooden doors that would lead them inside. She didn’t know what she would see when the door opened. They had been vague on the details of that. But she didn’t care. As long as she saw Lexa on the other side of the wall that was all that she cared about.

The door was pulled open from the other side and Clarke got her first glimpse of the inside. The audience chamber was transformed. It looked almost like one of the churches that she had seen from the books in Lexa’s library. There were rows of seats, there was an aisle made out of furs, and at head of the room where Lexa’s throne sat, was a small altar. Clarke wondered if Lexa had set this up on purpose, to try and honor the traditions from the Ark. Her gaze found Lexa’s, the Commander was waiting for her at the end of the aisle. She wore her ceremonial armor, the kind that would be completely impractical to go to war in. But she looked fierce, and breathe taking.

Watching as Clarke was escorted towards her Lexa had to remind herself to breathe. The room had never seemed so unbearably long. As Clarke walked, she found that all of the people who were important in her life were standing and watching her, Monty even looked like he might have a tear in his eye. Jasper had the same goofy smile on his face like he was just waiting to make some sort of inappropriate comment but was holding it back. Marcus stood with a proud smile on his face, almost paternal though he would never be so bold as to make an assumption like that. Raven stood next to Wick, Octavia and Lincoln were next, and then finally Bellamy.

Bellamy had been hesitant about this whole wedding when Clarke first told them. He knew that Lexa loved Clarke. And he was even beginning to trust the Grounders. But that didn’t mean that he trusted them to do right by Clarke. He didn’t want to lose his most trusted friend. Clarke was more than his friend, she was closer to a sister to him than anything. And he would protect her till the end. He wasn’t even sure what had convinced him that this was a good idea, but whatever that reason had been. It paled in comparison to the smile on Clarke’s face. The look that she had when she looked towards Lexa, it convinced him without any shadow of a doubt that she was doing the right thing. And even if he had his hesitations, he wouldn’t voice them until given a reason too.

Lexa reached for Clarke as soon as the blonde was within arm’s reach. Their hands touching, and Clarke could feel the slight tremble in Lexa’s hand. The Commander was nervous. And that knowledge somehow filled Clarke’s heart with an overabundance of love for Lexa. Luna stood before them, dressed in her Boat Clan ceremonial garb, Clarke tried to make a mental note to look at one each of the other clan leaders were wearing. But right then, she couldn’t do anything but stare at Lexa. Her heart thundering in her chest, threatening to break free from her rib cage.

The ceremony itself was in trigedaslang. Clarke could only make out a few words of it. It took her a moment to realize that Lexa was mouthing the words in English for Clarke.

_Tonight we join the spirits of Lexa, Commander of the Trikru, and Leader of the Coalition of the twelve clans, with Clarke of the Sky People conqueror of the Mountain. From this night forward they will be joined in mind and body for the rest of their days. And their spirits will be joined after death. Let all who bear witness to this ceremony honor what has transpired here._

Luna held out Lexa’s dagger to the Commander, offering it for her to take. Without question Lexa took the blade and offered it to Clarke.

“Our blood must be joined in fire, it is the final step of the ritual.” Lexa explained softly. Clarke looked at the dagger she held in her hand and saw Lexa hold out her hand, telling Clarke silently what she was expected to do. Dragging the sharp edge of the blade along Lexa’s palm, the brunette didn’t even flinch as the smallest one of blood appeared on her hand. Holding her palm over a small bowl that had been provided Lexa squeezed her hand into a fist providing several droplets of blood. Luna offered Lexa a cloth to press against the cut. Now it was Clarke’s turn. Lexa took the knife, and Clarke offered her hand. Lexa was far more careful with the cut that she inflicted. It pained her to think that she was causing Clarke pain. But Clarke barely winced at the pain before she allowed two or three droplets to fall into the bowl mixing with Lexa’s.

Luna took the bowl and poured its contents over the small flame behind her. The sizzle provided with each drop that fell seemed so loud in the silent room. Once the final drop had fallen the room erupted in applause. The ceremony was over. Clarke sought clarification from Lexa that the ceremony was really over, that they were truly married.

“How do your people conclude union ceremonies?” Lexa asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Like this.” Clarke said pulling Lexa in for a deep kiss. If it were possible the applause got louder, joined with a few shouts and cheers for the new couple. Bellamy whistled, Octavia cat called, and Abby looked away from the scene in front of her. Once the kiss broke, Lexa opened her eyes, completely breathless. She had not expected such a show of passion from Clarke in a public setting.

“We are almost done.” Lexa promised. With great reluctance she led Clarke up the few stairs towards her throne. But instead of sitting down upon herself she gestured for Clarke to sit. Clarke slowly sat down, expecting that someone might have some objection to it. The reaction was opposite of that. Each of the clan leaders dropped to a knee, showing their submission to Clarke as Lexa’s wife, and their de-facto leader should something happen to Lexa.

“I, Luna of the Boat Clan swear my loyalty to Clarke of the Sky People. Acknowledging her as the wife of Lexa, Heda kom Trikru.”

“I, Orin of the Horse Clan swear my loyalty to Clarke of the Sky People. Acknowledging her as the wife of Lexa, Heda kom Trikru.”

It went on like this, until all of the other twelve clan leaders had sworn this vow. Clarke felt powerful sitting in Lexa’s throne. Knowing that the other leaders of the grounders supported their union.

“Now, we feast.” Lexa said with a rare public smile.

The feast was very much like the ones that they had grown accustomed to. A rather intimate setting, considering that all of Polis had erupted in celebration. Occasionally chanting of _HEDA!_ Could be heard over the music from the courtyard. Clarke wasn’t afraid to show her affection for Lexa, sure that out of any other night this was the one that it would be most accepted. Lexa didn’t seem to mind it, she too seemed to want to remain in contact with Clarke in some way or another during the night.

“How is your hand?” Lexa asked reaching for the bandaged hand. Clarke had completely forgotten about it. The salve that they had put on it before they bandaged it up and taken away the pain.

“It’s fine.” Clarke promised. She could see the worry in Lexa’s face as she studied the wound.

“I should have warned you, though harming you brought me no joy, the result of it brought me all the joy in the world.” Lexa said bringing Clarke’s hand to her lips and kissing the wound tenderly.

“I know what you mean.”

“The feast will probably go on for many more hours. We are…not required to remain here.” Lexa suggested. She was trying to be discrete. Sex was never something that the grounders were ashamed of. But she knew that the sky people were slightly more private about those sorts of things. Clarke blushed a deep red, she had been trying to make herself think of anything other than what they would be allowed to do when they were finally alone.

“How exactly do we leave?” Clarke asked.

“No one is paying attention now, and I have left instructions that we are not to be bothered except for the direst of emergencies.” Lexa offered. Clarke looked around, and indeed found that no one was paying attention to them. Surely, when they got up someone noticed. But no one said anything as they went back into the palace.


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N : This chapter definitely has some rated M content. You've been warned.**

 

Chapter 17

 

“Lexa, stop…please.” Clarke pleaded, gently pushing Lexa away. Lexa gave Clarke’s inner thigh a playful nip before she lifted her head. Clarke’s body shone in the soft candle light of their bedroom. The air was thick with the scent of sweat and sex. And Lexa had made good on her promise to worship Clarke’s body with her mouth and fingers, twice. Panting, trying valiantly to regain control of her breathing Clarke weaved her fingers in Lexa’s hair still wanting to feel connected to the brunette.

Lexa watched as the tremors that had marked Clarke’s pleasure slowly subsided into a few aftershocks that made Clarke jump. She would be content to remain where she was for the rest of her days, resting between Clarke’s thighs with her head resting on Clarke’s hip.

“Have I exhausted you houmon?” Lexa asked, her eyes sparkling playfully.

“I just need a minute.” Clarke panted. Lexa laughed, and moved up the bed to lay beside Clarke. Clarke’s eyes fluttered closed as Lexa placed a lingering kiss on her forehead and then on her cheek. When they finally got into their room and shut the door, all willpower was forfeit and both girls tore at their own clothes and at one another’s clothes until they were both naked. Lexa had lifted Clarke off the ground and carried her to the bed, intent on experiencing what she had been denying herself for so long. Ignoring the demands of her own body, Lexa had been intent on Clarke.

Clarke felt it in her entire body, the feeling of contentedness, satisfaction, and yet still, overwhelming desire for the woman that lay next to her. She opened her eyes and saw Lexa laying beside her staring up at the ceiling. Seemingly lost in her own thoughts for the moment. When she reached for Lexa, her palm pressing against Lexa’s cheek, making Lexa look towards her.

“You’re too far away.” Clarke pouted. Lexa laughed at the impatience of her wife and rolled until she was once again laying on top of Clarke. Clarke’s eyes fluttered with newly rekindled desire.

“You said that you needed a minute.” Lexa pointed out with a smirk that was pure arrogance. It was a look that Clarke was intent on removing from Lexa’s face by kissing her senseless. She didn’t allow Lexa the opportunity to control the kiss. Each time Lexa tried, Clarke quickly stopped her. Now it was her turn.

Lexa let Clarke turn them so that she was laying on her back with Clarke above her. The blonde straddling Lexa’s narrow waist. Lexa’s eyes darkened as she felt Clarke’s wetness against her stomach, and her hands went to Clarke’s hips to hold Clarke where she was. Lexa drank in the sight before her. Clarke was breathtaking, her skin had grown tanner since they first met. She no longer had the paleness that came from being raised in space.

“You are so beautiful Clarke.” Lexa said, her eyes roaming down from Clarke’s eyes to the curve of her neck. Smiling when she saw the scattering of bite marks she had left. Down further to the swelling of Clarke’s full and perfect breasts that swayed in a tantalizing rhythm with every breath that Clarke took. Down the flatness of Clarke’s stomach still covered in the sheen of sweat, down until her gaze reached where their bodies were joined. Using her grip on Clarke’s hips, Lexa encouraged Clarke to rock her hips forward, grinding against the firmness of her stomach. Clarke sucked in the harp breath. She was still sensitive from Lexa’s attention earlier.

“No.” Clarke said grabbing Lexa’s hands and stopping Lexa. The pout on Lexa’s face was adorable. “It’s your turn.” Clarke said guiding Lexa’s hands from her hips onto the mattress beside her. “Can you behave?” Clarke asked with a raised eyebrow. Challenging Lexa might not have been the best idea but she could see Lexa’s breath quicken.

“I can.” Lexa answered. Clarke reached behind her, encouraging Lexa to spread her legs, as her blunt fingernails ran along the sensitive skin of Lexa’s inner thigh. There would be plenty of time for her to get a closer look at Lexa’s sex later. Right now, she wanted to watch Lexa. She wanted to see the look on Lexa’s face as she loses control, when she lets pleasure overwhelm her. Those were the images that Clarke wanted imprinted in her memory for the rest of her days.

Clarke let her fingers guide her, feeling the first hint of wetness as her hand drew closer and closer. Feeling Lexa’s hips raise slightly, encouraging Clarke to hurry up. Lexa’s eyes never left Clarke, her stare was enough to inspire a new wave of arousal to rush through Clarke. Sucking her lower lip in between her teeth, determined to break Lexa’s stoicism Clarke ran her middle finger along the length of Lexa’s sex, letting her fingertips pick up the wetness she found there. Lexa’s breath caught, she had never experienced this before. Someone dominating over her, being helpless and completely at the mercy of her lover? The very thought of it would have made her laugh. But that was before Clarke. She knew that at any moment she could switch their positions. She could take control; go back to the role she was comfortable with. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to give this to Clarke.

Gripping the sheets beneath her hands Lexa felt Clarke exploring, clenching her teeth to keep a whimper from escaping. But Clarke could feel how impatient Lexa was getting. There were dozens of little clues that were telling Clarke just how riled up she was getting Lexa, the subtle jerk of Lexa’s hip as Clarke’s finger got dangerously close to her clit before changing directions.

“Clarke.” Lexa whispered desperately. Her knuckles were turning white as her grip on the bedsheets tightened almost painfully. Taking pity on her lover, Clarke slowly entered Lexa, feeling the velvet walls tighten around her finger made her feel powerful. Lexa’s eyes fluttered it was the first outward sign Lexa showed on her face that she was affected by what Clarke was doing. The position she was in allowed Clarke the perfect opportunity to curl her finger ever so slightly, while the palm of her hand applied the perfect amount of pressure to Lexa’s clit.

The reaction was instantaneous, releasing her grip on the sheets Lexa’s hands went back to the curve of Clarke’s hips. Her fingers diffing almost painfully into the skin there, but Clarke didn’t are. She was too pleased with herself for eliciting such a reaction on the stoic Commander. Repeating that motion, again and again, Clarke was so lost in the sight before her that it took her a moment to realize that she was once again rocking against Lexa’s torso. Whether it was her bodies way of demanding attention, or if it was Lexa subconsciously doing it, she didn’t know nor care. The motion was creating the perfect amount of friction.

“This is about you.” Clarke panted, she didn’t attempt to stop the movement of her hips or her hand despite her words.

“About us.” Lexa corrected. Clarke rewarded her words by adding another finger and increasing her pace. The repeated stroking of her clit would fast bring about her orgasm, but Lexa wanted this to last. She wanted to remain in this moment as long as possible. Though it didn’t seem like her body was going to allow for that much longer.

“Lexa…” Clarke whimpered, her eyes closing as she ground more intently against Lexa. Lexa’s grip encouraged this, as her own pleasure threatened to crest, Lexa wanted Clarke to share in that with her. Clarke increased her thrusts, moving harder and faster until she felt the walls around her fingers begin to flutter and contract. Lexa’s control faded as her eyes closed, lips parting as she rose higher and higher. “Look at me.” Clarke requested almost peaking herself. Lexa’s eyes opened and their eyes met.

Lexa’s name was on Clarke’s lips as orgasm crashed over her. Lexa’s control gone, her head fell back on the pillow as she cried out her release. Together they rode out their pleasure, lost in it, consumed by it, until the waves began to lessen into weaker yet no less pleasant aftershocks. Removing her hand from between Lexa’s legs Clarke allowed herself to fall forward against Lexa.

After several moments, Lexa’s arms circled around Clarke’s waist and helped move Clarke in a more comfortable position beside her. They spent the night learning one another’s body, sometimes making love slowly, and gently. And other times they would lose themselves in the passion that they felt for one another. Sometimes in between, they would talk about anything and everything that crossed their minds. And other times they would be silent, and imply enjoyed being together.

* * *

Clarke woke up slowly, stretching leisurely and feeling her muscles protest the movement. She was sore. But in the best ways. It was a reminder of what she had shared with Lexa. The ceremony may have bonded their spirits but that night, that was about binding their bodies together. With a smile that she never wanted to remove from her face, Clarke rolled towards Lexa’s side of the bed. She had expected that Lexa would already by up. In all the time that they had been sharing a bed, she had never known Lexa to willingly sleep in. yet, much to her delight, she found Lexa still sleeping soundly beside her.

One of the thin sheets covered their bodies, it was enough to protect their modesty should they feel like they needed it. Lexa was sleeping on her stomach, her arms curled under her head to make her own pillow instead of the one made of feathers that had been tossed somewhere across the room because it had gotten in the way.

Pressing her lips to Lexa’s shoulder, Clarke felt the brunette shift, grumbling incoherently in protest of being woken. It was cute. Determined to remain in the depths of sleep Lexa burrowed her head into the mattress.

“Good morning.” Clarke greeted, the happiness was evident in her voice. Giving up on the thought of going back to sleep Lexa turned her head to face Clarke.

“Ai houmon.” Lexa replied. Something about the way that Lexa said it, maybe it was the gravely sound of her voice, but more likely it was the words themselves. They were spoken with such raw, undisguised love.

“When do we have to get up?” Clarke asked, she didn’t really want to get out of bed at all. But, she wasn’t naïve enough to think that she would be able to keep Lexa all to herself for the day. Hoping for it would only make it more disappointing when Lexa was called away.

“I told Talia, that we are not to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary.” Lexa said rolling them so that she could lay on top of Clarke. Clarke was speechless for a moment. She knew that there were things that were expected of Lexa. She needed to lead her people, be seen by the warriors, boost their morale before they marched north. She didn’t think that Lexa would be willing to be absent for any length of time.

“I thought that you would be called away.” Clarke confessed. Lexa’s eyes softened.

“I would be seen as a failure to my men if I allowed you to leave this bed the day after we were married.” Lexa offered. For a moment Clarke wasn’t sure if that was true or not, it did sound like something that could plausibly happen with the warriors of the Trikru army. But when she saw the twinkle in Lexa’s eye she knew that her wife was teasing her.

“You’re terrible.” Clarke laughed.

“I wish to spend as much time as we can like this. Preparations for the war can happen without me for a few days. My Generals are very good at what they do. And the things that still require my attention, will be there for me when our honeymoon is over.” Lexa promised.

“I love you.” Clarke said bringing Lexa’s face to her, kissing Lexa softly. Their kiss stretched on for several long minutes, holding with it the potential to grow into a more intense moment between them until they were interrupted by one of their stomachs rumbling loudly. They broke apart, both laughing at it.

“What would you like for breakfast? I will have something brought for us.” Lexa offered already getting out of bed. That was one of the things that Clarke had never been able to understand about Lexa. It wasn’t that the Commander was a morning person, but it was clear that once she was awake, she was up for good.

“I don’t know, what are you hungry for?”

“Unfair question, what I am hungry for requires that you first eat something to keep your strength up.” Lexa said pulling a shirt over herself. She didn’t want to expose the maids and attendance to her naked form, they would probably have a heart attack.

“Smooth. I’m starving, so whatever you’re in the mood for.” Clarke said sitting up and leaning against the wall watching as Lexa slid something under the door. “What is that?”

“A signal to the attendants that I am ready for breakfast.” Lexa explained. It was a system that had been designed by one of her predecessors. They no longer had the technology that allowed them to call for their attendants when they wanted something and didn’t want to leave the room to get it. A white cloth meant that she was ready for a meal, green that she needed help dressing, and red meant to summon Talia.

“That’s smart. How do they know what to bring?”

“They know my preferences by now. If you want anything specific I can have them bring it for you. Otherwise they’ll bring fruit, eggs, some form of meat, and coffee. Breakfast is not a meal I’ve had many opportunities to indulge in. So when I call for it, they tend to go overboard. I am sure that the cook thinks that I starve myself.” Lexa explained crawling into bed.

“I would like to meet her.” Clarke tried to picture the person that was responsible for cooking for the Trikru.

“I am sure that you two will get along.”

The two waited for their breakfast in a companionable silence, they didn’t need to speak about much, both enjoying the peace that came with their morning. Clarke noticed that Lexa kept running her fingers along the contours of her father’s watch. When the realization that she would be getting married without her father walking her down the aisle really hit Clarke, she had started wearing his watch almost religiously. She had told Lexa of the importance of the watch, but she knew that the concept didn’t quite make sense to Lexa. The watch hadn’t worked in a long time.

“Tell me about him.” Lexa requested.

“I don’t want to bring down the morning talking about sad things.”

“Are your memories of him sad?” Lexa asked curiously. She had thought that Clarke had a good relationship with her father.

“No. He was my best friend in a lot of ways. I mean, I had Wells. But my dad was the person I always went to first. If I was having trouble, or if I was bothered by something I always went to him first and he always understood. He would let me talk or rant for hours. Even if that was all I wanted to do. He would just listen.” Clarke said with a fond smile.

“I am sorry that you lost him Clarke.”

“He would have liked you."

“I doubt that.” Lexa answered with a laugh.

“What do you mean?”

“No father likes the person that their daughter marries.” Clarke laughed, he did think that Jake would like Lexa. But the scene played out in her mind, of Lexa having to sit with Jake and have him try and make awkward small talk.

“I think he would have liked you.”

There was a faint knock on the door and Lexa quickly opened the door and accepted the tray of food. She whispered some thing to the attendant and closed the door. When she turned, Clarke saw the plate that she was carrying. She was surprised that Lexa was able to carry the mountain of food. There was every type of berry that was in season, some of them Clarke didn’t even recognize. There was something that look suspiciously like a stack of pancakes, bacon, slabs of ham and other meats.

“I don’t think I could eat all of this for breakfast and not go into a food coma.” Clarke commented looking at Lexa. Lexa smiled a shy sort of smile that made Clarke thing that the Commander was up to something.

“The goal is that we will not need to ask for food again for the rest of the day.” Lexa explained. Clarke couldn’t help but laugh before diving into the mountain of food.

* * *

The two didn’t leave their bedroom until midmorning the following day. Lexa hadn’t wanted to but there were matters that she needed to attend to and Clarke had insisted that she go. As much as she wanted to stay in bed with Lexa forever, she knew that they couldn’t neglect their duties. And it gave Clarke a chance to go check up on her friends. From the cat calls and whistles that greeted her when she walked into the Skaikru barracks Clarke kind of wished that she had just stayed in the palace.

“Commander let you out of bed huh?” Raven teased. Clarke tried to hide her blush but instead could only duck her head and hope that her hair covered the redness in her cheeks.

“She had to deal with something.” Clarke explained.

“We didn’t think we’d see you until the army marched.” Octavia chimed in throwing her arms around Clarke’s shoulders and hugging the blonde to her. They could all see it, the happiness that seemed to radiate off of Clarke. She had insisted that marriage wouldn’t change her, but it had. She carried herself differently. And it seemed that Hudson seemed more intent than usual on her safety. She’d feared that he was going to pull his sword on Octavia when she hugged Clarke.

“How’s everything going down here?”

“People are getting kinda nervous with the war getting closer and closer. There were a few people that have voiced their concerns that Lexa is going to force them to fight.” Raven said.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Clarke insisted.

“You know that, but they don’t. I mean, our people haven’t seen much of Lexa. And a lot of them just see her as the bully that forced us to leave the Ark, and keeps bossing them around.” Octavia said. She saw the happiness that had previously been on Clarke’s face be replaced by anger and protectiveness for her wife.

“She was protecting them.”

“You know that, and we know that. But I mean, the others…well they just haven’t had a chance to get to know her yet.”

“Who is it?”

“We handled it Clarke, your mom put him in his place.”

“Who?” Clarke demanded.

“Sinclair.”

“Clarke, don’t bother. Your mom handled it.” Stopping Clarke from storming away to find Sinclair.

“You don’t understand, if he speaks to the wrong people, or voices his opinion too loudly they will kill him. Challenging the Commander is not acceptable here. Especially in a time of war.” Clarke’s head was spinning; how could people not understand that? Why couldn’t they understand that the rules on the ground were different? They had all been on the ground long enough to have figured it out.

“Niron gon Heda.” Hudson said stepping forward, he knew what Clarke would do to Sinclair. And he knew that Lexa would not take kindly to Clarke putting herself in danger in the few hours that they were apart.

“Niron gon Heda?” Abby asked coming to join them. It sounded like an important title but it wasn’t one that they had heard before. Other than the word Heda, the sentence was foreign.

“It means loved one of the Commander.” Hudson explained when Clark hesitated. The statement was bold and Clarke was still getting used to it. But already so many people had come to call her that, even Lexa couldn’t stop that.

“I heard that you had some trouble with Sinclair.” Clarke said quickly to change the subject.

“It was just a misunderstanding. I explained to him that no one would be forced to fight who didn’t want to.” Abby said. There was questioning in her eyes but not in her tone. She assumed that Lexa wouldn’t force them to fight, but she didn’t know for sure.

“That’s true.” Clarke promised.

“Then there isn’t an issue.” Abby promised.

“Make sure there isn’t. I don’t think that I could stop the warriors if they thought that the Commander’s authority was being challenged.” Clarke offered. She left out the part where she didn’t think that she wanted to stop the warriors. She had made her position very clear, at least to the grounders. She was no longer part of the Skaikru. Her loyalties had to lie with Lexa and with the coalition.

“Is that an order?” Abby asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Just a warning.”

“Do you have a minute to talk? I know that you are still technically on your honeymoon.” Abby asked. Clarke followed Abby into the medical tent which was, thankfully, empty.

“Mom, I don’t want to fight-.”

“I didn’t ask you to come in here to talk politics. I just want to talk to you as a mother. See how you’re doing.” Abby said looking at the young woman before her. Having to remind herself again and again that Clarke wasn’t a child anymore. Though she suspected that she would never be able to think of Clarke in any other way then her baby.

“I’m okay.” Clarke softened. Glad for a moment that she had time with her mom and not the Chancellor.

“She’s being good to you?”

“Mom.” Clarke whined. She didn’t want to talk about her sex life with Abby.

“That’s not what I meant!” Abby insisted shaking her head violently trying to prevent any sort of mental images that she didn’t want from invading her mind.

“Okay good. Because we are so not talking about that.” Clarke said.

“I just meant, as your wife. She’s treating you okay?” Abby asked.

“She is. I see a different side of her then the rest of you. She’s not the Commander with me, she’s just Lexa. But she is very good to me.” Clarke promised.

“I wish that I could see the side that you see. It would put my mind at ease a little.”

“Good luck with that. It took me a long time to get Lexa to open up to me when we’re alone.”

“I wish we could do this more. Spend time together when we aren’t trying to keep people from killing one another.” Abby said missing the times that she and her family would be able to sit down in front of the TV projector and watch reruns of shows that they had seen a hundred times over.

“After this war is over, we’ll have that time.” Clarke promised.

* * *

Lexa had taken beatings before. She had spent the formative years of her life in training arena’s, learning how to get beat down and get back up. It taught her the importance of learning from her mistakes. That was the life that she knew. And she thrived in the arena.  

When Clarke had come back from seeing her friends Lexa was in the arena. She had started with sparring with Octavia, but Lincoln had spent most of the time coaching Octavia, micromanaging their fight. Finally, Lexa had challenged Lincoln to prove how worthy of a teacher he was. Clarke walked up to stand next to Octavia and watch the fight. Octavia wasn’t going to even hide her lust for her boyfriend. And she didn’t even need to look at Clarke to know that the blonde found it as sexy as she did.

Oblivious to the admiration of their lovers Lincoln and Lexa stood in a tense stalemate. He was physically stronger; his blows did more damage than hers did. But she was faster and she didn’t lose energy nearly as fast. The two factors evened out and their sparring session had drawn quite the crowd. There were grounders even making bets on who they thought would win.

Lincoln swung his fist, narrowly missing Lexa’s nose as she ducked away. Grabbing his attacking arm Lexa managed to punch Lincoln in the ribs sending him stumbling backward.

“Nomonjoka (motherfucker).” Lincoln groaned cradling his side.

“To hurt to continue Lincoln?” Lexa taunted.

“No Heda.” Lincoln answered dropping his arm and pretending like it didn’t still smart.

“I swear, I leave her for five minutes and she’s already getting in fights.” Clarke said, the exasperation in Clarke’s tone was real. But Octavia could pick up the amusement in Clarke’s voice.

“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it.” Octavia teased. Clarke couldn’t deny the fact that her eyes watched Lexa moved as if she were a piece of meat and she was starving. Her muscles rippling as she tensed and twisted. She had decided against putting her armor on, and she was covered only in a tank top and her trousers. A small part of Clarke wondered if Lexa did that on purpose.

Feeling Lincolns fist connect with her jaw sent Lexa stumbling, it wasn’t quite enough to lose her balance but it was enough for him to be able to gain the upper hand. He was physically stronger than her, and he could throw more power behind his punches. But that wasn’t why she was the best fighter. She didn’t need brute strength to win against him. Spitting out the blood that pooled in her mouth, Lexa caught Lincoln’s next punch before it could hit her and used his momentum to send him flying over her and onto the ground. There was a chorus of cheers from the grounders watching.

Standing over Lincoln, Lexa watched him extend his arms in submission. Lexa extended her hand and helped Lincoln up, silently thanking him for the fight.

“How angry does she look?” Lexa asked. Lincoln looked over Lexa’s shoulder at Clarke, in that moment he wasn’t sure if Clarke was glaring at him or at Lexa. Either way, she didn’t look pleased.

“I don’t know if she’s going to kill me or you.” Lincoln answered in a low voice only she could hear. Lexa turned, knowing that the longer she put off approaching Clarke, the angrier she would become. When she got within arms reach of Clarke, the blonde’s hands shot up and gripped the sides of Lexa’s chin forcing her head back so that she could get a better look at the bruise. Lexa allowed it, now that they were married it was more accepted for Clarke to fuss over Lexa’s injuries. It wasn’t perceived as weakness; it was seen as affection.

“It’s not broken.” Clarke stated releasing Lexa’s jaw but keeping her eyes hard. She didn’t want Lexa to know how much watching her fight had effected Clarke. That watching Lexa’s muscles flex with each twist her body made didn’t send jolts of arousal straight to the pit of her stomach and down further making her throb with want. Lexa was a beautiful woman, but when she fought, there was something else about her that Clarke had never let herself realize until recently. Lexa was breathtaking.

“Clarke.” Lexa said softly, her voice low in the way that Lexa knew affected Clarke. Apparently Clarke hadn’t been as good at hiding how it affected her as she thought.

“Are you still needed here?” Clarke asked looking around. There wasn’t anyone else that was paying attention to them. And Clarke needed to have Lexa. It was a compulsion that occupied her thoughts, she needed to feel Lexa under her fingertips. It had been a mistake to leave bed that morning, to let Lexa leave when they could have stayed in bed. It frightened Clarke, the intensity of the hunger she felt for Lexa. But she would worry about that later, when her need was satiated.

“No.” Lexa answered following Clarke into a nearby training tent. It was thankfully empty and with a glance Lexa told Hudson that he was not to let anyone enter. The tent flap was barely closed when Clarke pushed Lexa against the wooden support column in the center of the tent. Her mouth crashing against Lexa’s in a kiss that was all teeth and tongue.

Clarke tore at Lexa’s clothes, shoving her jacket off her shoulders leaving it in a puddle on the ground. And then her hands went to the leather ties of Lexa’s pants. In her frenzy the small knots were impossible to undo, and her patients was almost non-existent. Releasing a frustrated sigh, Clarke broke the kiss and glared hard at Lexa.

“Untie these or I will cut them off.” She growled before joining their lips once more. Lexa moved Clarke’s hands away and made quick work of the ties. Every attempt Lexa made at touching Clarke was met with rejection. Clarke gripped Lexa’s wrists and shoved them against the column behind Lexa. The Commander got the message, she was not allowed to touch.

Slipping her hand into the opening of Lexa’s pants, Clarke was greeted by the hot, slickness of Lexa’s arousal. Letting the wetness thoroughly coat her fingers before sliding her middle finger inside, Lexa’s hips jumped, bucking against Clarke’s hand.

“Did you enjoy watching me fight Clarke?” Lexa panted, Clarke looked into green eyes and saw the arrogance that was there. It made her want to fuck the smirk off of Lexa’s face. Adding another finger Clarke began a relentless pace. Lexa gripped the column behind her desperately, needing something that would help her remain standing.

It didn’t take long for Lexa to be close, with each thrust Clarke went just a little deeper, and a little harder. So much so that it bordered on painful but Lexa didn’t mind. The dichotomy of pain and pleasure only adding to the sensation. Clarke watched Lexa’s face intently, seeing the brunette’s eyes closed tightly, seeing the furrowing of her brow. Finally, Clarke pressed the pad of her thumb against Lexa’s clit and that was the last push that she needed. Her orgasm was quiet, necessary given their location, but Clarke could hear the strangled moan that did escape against her neck as Lexa convulsed around her fingers.

Clarke held Lexa as the aftershocks slowly lessened. Lexa kept her head resting on Clarke’s shoulder, face buried in the blonde’s neck.

“Is this going to happen each time I spar?” Lexa asked hopefully, lifting her head to look at Clarke. Removing her hand from Lexa’s pants Clarke was able to return to being slightly irritated that Lexa was sporting a bruise.

“Does it hurt to open and close your mouth?” Clarke asked. Lexa tested her jaw, it did hurt, but it wasn’t anything that she couldn’t handle.

“Do not worry, my abilities are not compromised.” Lexa said with a suggestive grin.

“This isn’t funny.” Clarke scolded. To her credit, Lexa at least tried to look like she felt bad for worrying Clarke.

“I have fought Lincoln many times. I knew that I could win Clarke.” Lexa offered.

“I just don’t like seeing you get hurt. I know that you can’t avoid it. But, I just…” Clarke stopped. She knew that she could never ask Lexa not to fight. It was as so much of who she was.

“You do not need to be afraid for me Clarke.”

The two stood silently, at an impasse that Clarke worried would haunt their entire relationship. Lexa would always run towards a battle to be fought, even when she should be running away from it. It was a trait that Clarke both admired and hated. But it wasn’t fair to ask Lexa to change that aspect of herself, and even if she wanted to Lexa couldn’t change it. She was the Commander and there were expectations placed on her.

“You confuse me houmon.” Lexa finally said with a laugh.

“How?”

“You do not like it when I fight, and yet the reward I get for winning is too enticing not to fight.” Lexa said referring to what had happened only a few minutes ago. Despite herself Clarke couldn’t help but let the anger and tension leave her body as she let Lexa wrap her arms around her.

“You are infuriating.” Clarke said lovingly.

When Lexa and Clarke emerged from the tent, everyone had gone about their business. The only ones who lingered were Lincoln and Octavia. Octavia had to prove to Lincoln that Clarke was more interesting in having her wicked way with Lexa than she was in hurting the Commander. Lincoln wasn’t so sure. But it only took one look at Clarke for their suspicions to be confirmed.

“Told you.” Octavia boasted. Clarke looked between the two, knowing what Octavia was referring too without asking.

“Don’t you have something better to do than speculate on my sex life?” Clarke asked good naturedly.

“Not really. Lincoln interrupted my training, and then you interrupted my training. So, really, it’s your fault that I had nothing better to do than speculate on your sex life.” Octavia answered with a shrug.

“Then we should return to your training then.” Lexa said in her sharpest Commander voice, the way the smile fell from Octavia’s face was almost comical.

“Sha Heda.” Octavia said.

“Go easy on her.” Clarke suggested. Lexa looked back at Clarke, eyebrow raised. “Okay fine, just don’t kill her.”

* * *

“Why is it, that after you and the Commander get your groove on, she kicks my ass harder?  Are you not doing it right?” Octavia asked hissing when Clarke placed some antiseptic on the gash along Octavia’s shoulder.

“I can promise you that I’m doing it right. Maybe she was punishing you for being a little shit.” Clarke asked as she continued to clean the wound. It wouldn’t need stitches; Lexa had been very careful when she had let her blade hit Octavia.

“I didn’t say anything to her.”

“If she’s hard on you, it means that she thinks you can handle it.” Clarke promised. She knew how insecure Octavia could be, and she tried to hide it as much as she could. But Clarke had gotten really good at reading the younger brunette.

“I just don’t want to let her down.” Octavia confessed finally looking away from Clarke.

“You won’t.” Clarke promised.

“They are my people now. She’s the key to them accepting me. She promised that when we come back from the war she’ll give me my first tattoo.” Octavia boasted.

“You should see if she has any artistic ability first.” Clarke teased.

“She asked me to ride with her when we go North. Like near her, not just walking with the other seconds.” Octavia had been speechless when Lexa had told her that was where she would be riding. She’d made sure to emphasize that as much as it was an honor to ride with the Commander, it also meant that the danger was higher.

“That’s great Octavia.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.” Octavia promised, she rolled her shoulder, testing the level of pain and the amount of mobility before hopping off the exam table.

“I know that you will.”

“I better get back to the training camp. Everyone is anxiously awaiting the announcement that we’re going to march.” Octavia looked at Clarke hoping that Clarke might give her some indication of when the army would march. She’d noticed the way that the warriors were preparing, they were all packed and ready to go at a moment’s notice.

“I don’t know any more than you do.”

“Just checkin’ what’s the point of being friends with the wife of Heda if I don’t get the info before everyone else?”

“Are you saying my friendship isn’t enough?” Clarke asked mock hurt.

“Shut up.”

* * *

“So we’re in agreement then?” Lexa looked up, making sure that her eyes met with each of the other clan leaders. Laying on the center of the table a map of the north that showed the path that their army would take. They would have to move quickly, once the Ice Queen got word that the army was marching they would lose the element of surprise and they would be vulnerable to attacks

“Agreed.” Was the general consensus.

“Have the first wave of your warriors prepared to march, the second wave will follow in two days’ time, then the third, and finally the support.” Lexa explained.

Lexa knew that marching the entire army up at once would be foolish, she needed to conserve the energy of her warriors. By the time the second wave arrived in the north, the first wave would be ready for a reprieve. But it also put her and her warriors at greater risk, the first to go would be the first to die.

* * *

Clarke was seething, anger and endorphins flooding her system so violently that she was sure that if it were possible her blood would actually be boiling. When she had come back to the palace, she had been told that the army would be preparing to march by weeks’ end. That wasn’t what bothered Clarke. She had made her peace with the fact that war was inevitable. What had gotten her so angry that she was seeing red, was that she didn’t hear this from Lexa. She heard it from a maid that was talking about it in the hallway.

She stormed through the hallways, everyone who was smart enough moved out of her way before she got to them. Those who weren’t paying attention had to scramble to avoid being run over by the blonde.

“Clarke, do not do anything stupid.” Talia said as she intercepted Clarke before she got to Lexa.

“Is killing my wife only days after getting married considered stupid?” Clarke asked not slowing in her stride. Had she said that to anyone else she might be facing quite a bit of trouble. But Talia understood the frustrations that came with being married to the Heda.

“I am sure that if given the opportunity Lexa would have told you herself.” Talia lied. It wasn’t that she thought that Lexa was keeping this from Clarke on purpose, it was just that Lexa didn’t always think that she needed to explain herself to many people. Clarke was the exception to that rule.

“She should have told me. I thought that was the whole point of this marriage thing, open communication.” Clarke vented.

“You cannot break years of training in just a few days Clarke. Lexa was raised knowing that she did not owe anyone explanations. Do not take it personally, she did not mean it the way that you are interpreting it.” Talia defended. They were almost at the audience chamber, and Talia prayed that Lexa was alone. She didn’t think there was a force on Earth that could stop Clarke from voicing her opinions and if it was in front of the other clan leaders Lexa would be publicly embarrassed and that was a dangerous predicament to be in.

Thankfully, when the door slammed open the room was empty except for Lexa. She was rolling the maps from the meeting still. If Lexa was startled by the violent arrival of her wife she didn’t show it. She merely looked up, her eyebrow quirked in silent question as she watched Clarke come towards her. In the split second before Clarke reached her, Lexa realized what it was that had brought Clarke to her. But didn’t have a chance to say anything in her defense before Clarke shoved her hard in the shoulder.

“A maid. I had to find out from a maid that you were planning on marching out in 4 days! I couldn’t have heard that from you earlier?” Clarke demanded. Lexa managed to use her reflexes and her years of fight training to maintain her balance though Clarke’s shove had been hard enough that she might have lost her balance.

“It was just decided a few hours ago. I didn’t have time to come find you to tell you.” Lexa explained. Talia felt like she should leave the two of them to talk, but she thought better of it. She had to at least make sure that Clarke wasn’t going to actually do harm to Lexa.

“You could have made time!” Clarke yelled. Lexa’s eyes narrowed, she had grown more accustom to Clarke challenging her, but she still didn’t like it.

“Clarke, you knew that the march would happen. I do not understand why you are angry with me.”

“We’re supposed to tell each other things Lexa. I need to know what you know, how else am I supposed to help you lead?” Lexa opened her mouth to reply, only to realize that she had no good come back for Clarke’s question. Clarke had a valid point. Talia snickered from her vantage point near them.

“I am sorry Clarke, you’re right. I should have discussed this with you.” Lexa relented.

“Wow, was that as painful as it looked?” Clarke teased. The look on Lexa’s face as she apologized was almost akin to if she had bitten into a lemon.

“Do not get used to apologies Clarke.” Lexa said with a slight frown.

“How can I help prepare?”


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War

**Phew, that last episode. :-)**

**Anywho, enjoy!**

 

Chapter 18

 

Queen Nia tried to hide the giddiness she felt when she heard that Lexa and her army were marching north. She knew that her challenge would be too much for Lexa to resist. She had been waiting a long time for this. And now, she was going to get the chance to end Lexa and her never ending quest for universal peace among the grounder tribes. The thought of it made her stomach twist, peace, what a useless concept. 

“My Queen.” Her messenger shifted nervously as he waited for her to speak. The silence had hung in the air for several moments and he was beginning to think that the news he delivered would seal his fate.

“And she leads them?” Nia asked. The prospect of a siege should have worried her. No ruler likes the idea of their capital surrounded by their enemy. But that was where Nia was different. She knew that Lexa couldn’t get through the walls, no matter how many warriors she brought with her. Her fortress had never been breached, and she would not allow it to be while she still drew breath.

“She rides in front.”

“Good.”

“What are you planning?” Roan asked, he knew that the Queen was never without a plan. He was the Prince of the Ice Nation, her rightful heir, but he knew that his role provided him with no favor from the Queen. He had been chosen out of necessity. And it made him bitter.

“We will do nothing. We will let her beat her fists against the stone walls.” Nia said. There were some in the room that nodded their agreement with her, taking her confidence and using it to calm their nerves.

“She comes to wipe the Ice Nation off of the map. She will not leave the north until she has gotten what she came here for.” Roan insisted. He didn’t like her dismissive plan. He had heard of the might of Lexa’s army; it was impressive without the other clans joining them. But now that Lexa had unleashed the entire force of the coalition, everything would bow before them.

“She will have to get to us first. You forget that there are hundreds of miles of icy road between us and them. Most of her men will die of cold or starvation before they even reach the walls.” Nia was so sure that this was true that she almost convinced him.

“Allow me to lead a small force, if we catch them unaware then perhaps we can speed some of them towards death.” Roan requested.

“No. The army will remain here and protect their home.”

* * *

“How are the warriors?” Lexa asked softly, she felt a harsh shiver run through her body as the wind snuck through the gaps in her tent and cut through the furs that she wore. She refused to use one of Raven’s heaters, instead she had insisted that it be taken to the army so that they were able to stay warm as the sun went down.

“They are hearty Heda. We have lost no one."

“Good.” Lexa answered subtly flexing her fingers to promote blood flow through her hands. Cole noticed but knew not to question it. He knew that she was doing what she thought to be best for the army. If any of them knew how cold she was many of them would die of shame 

“You should rest, tomorrow we will pass one of the Ice Nation outposts. Our scouts say that there are many a hundred of warriors.” Cole shrugged his jacket off and handed it to Lexa. She stared at the garment, he still wore enough that a man of his size would be able to stay warm, the gesture was thoughtful. And her small amount of selfishness allowed her to take the offered jacket and slide it over her shoulders, it was still warm from his body.

“Good night Cole.”

“Sleep well Heda.”

Lexa found sleep came easier when it was cold. Her body craving to rest after riding for long hours, and in sleep her body was able to warm itself by conserving energy. She curled as tightly as she could under the furs that had been given her and found respite from the bitter cold. While she dozed on the edges of sleep Lexa found her thoughts traveling to more pleasant memories.

* * *

 

_Lexa’s lungs heaved as she tried to regain her breath. Her entire body utterly spent, shaking as the last wave of pleasure ebbed. It was the early hours of the morning, closer to dawn than it was to midnight but neither of them had slept. It was their last night together. When the sun came up Lexa would lead the first of the army north and Clarke wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her wife. Not when she knew that there was a very real possibility that Lexa would die before they saw each other again._

_“You make a good argument to remain here.” Lexa said with a laugh, running her hands through Clarke’s hair and pulling the blonde to her. Pressing a lingering kiss on Clarke’s lips before releasing her hold._

_“If I had known that this was all that it would take to get you to stay…” Clarke let her statement linger as she began to place open mouthed kisses along Lexa’s collar bone, feeling rather than hearing Lexa’s laugh._

_“Enough wife!” Lexa exclaimed laughter still in her tone. Clarke settled next to Lexa, pressed tightly against the brunette though there was nothing suggestive about it. She just needed to feel Lexa, to try and commit to memory the way that Lexa’s body felt. How her taut stomach muscles trembled as she ran her fingertips across them  
_

_“I love you.” Clarke whispered softly. Lexa turned her head, the smile on her face saying the words for her. Her green eyes shining with the adoration she felt for Clarke._

_“When we win this war, I promise you, no force on this earth will ever take me from your side again.” Lexa vowed. She spoke with such sincerity that Clarke couldn’t help but believe her._

_“Just make sure that when I get up there, you’re still alive.”_

_“I will be.” Lexa said without a moment’s hesitation. Clarke sat up and reached for something on the bedside table. The sudden movement caused Lexa’s eyebrow to quirk in curiosity and watch with tired eyes what Clarke was reaching for._

_“I want you to have this.” Clarke said, though in their position Lexa couldn’t see what she held.  But when she turned, Lexa found Clarke holding her father’s watch._

_“Your father’s watch.” Lexa stated._

_“It doesn’t work, obviously. But it means a lot to me. And I want you to have it.” Clarke said holding out the precious thing to Lexa. The brunette hesitated to take it. She didn’t know what to say, she did not want to take such a thing to war with her for fear that it would be damaged._

_“I cannot take that Clarke.”_

_“Consider it my reassurance that you’ll come back. You know I’ll be furious if you don’t bring it back.” Clarke said with a humorless laugh, she was trying to keep things light but her voice broke with emotion as Lexa took the watch._

_“I am coming back Clarke.”_

_“Good, because I won’t let you make me a widow.”_

_They got very little sleep in the remaining hours before Lexa had to go join the rest of the army. It wasn’t smart. They both knew that, Lexa should be conserving as much of her energy as she could for the long march that awaited her. But neither of them were thinking about that. They were thinking with the desperation of love that threatened to be ended too soon.  
_

_When Lexa took off, at the head of the army Clarke stood on the steps of the palace as was tradition. She knew that there were many who were looking towards her. They were taking their cue from her, how they should react. If she cried, then the people would take it as an omen that the war would be lost. So she remained strong. She swallowed back the sobs that wanted so desperately to escape, and she blinked the tears that burned her eyes. She wished for the moment when she could turn and run back to her room and be alone with her grief._

Octavia looked up from the fire when she saw Lexa sit across from her. She wasn’t on watch, but she couldn’t sleep. They were going to draw first blood and her adrenaline kept her mind racing. She was surrounded by seasoned warriors. People who had taken more lives then they could remember. And the thought of battle was so common place to them that they slept soundly around her. But she just had the battle at the mountain.

It was still something that she hadn’t really allowed herself to deal with. She killed people, a small handful in comparison to every one else. But still, that had been the turning moment when she had decided that she wanted to be a grounder 

“It is alright to be nervous Octavia.” Lexa commented casually. She had a way of saying these things without making Octavia feel like she was judging. Over the past few weeks she was learning about this new side of Lexa.

“It would be kind of pointless to lie and say I wasn’t huh?”

“There is no shame in having respect for what we are about to do. Those who march into battle with arrogance have a tendency to die first. No one is above death, it will come to all of us one day. Just make sure that tomorrow is not that day.”

* * *

Lexa’s skin felt sticky with dried blood, she wasn’t even sure who’s it was, if it was her own or if it was from the Ice Nation sentries that she had cut through as if they were air. Morning had greeted the outpost attack. They ran into the waiting battle, conquering the walls as if they were nothing. The screams of the dying still filled the midmorning air. It had only taken a few hours to kill them all. Her warriors were in the process of looting the buildings to see if there was anything that they could use.

“You did well.” Lexa complimented as she came to stand next to Octavia. The younger brunette had been fierce in her attack. Her movements wild with enthusiasm and anger, there was the fire that Indra often spoke about. Yet, in her time training with Indra, Octavia had learned how to control some of those instincts.

“Thank you.”

“You should get some rest; we won’t stay here for long.”

The outpost provided them with some food stores meant to help them survive the cold winter, nothing luxurious but it would keep their belly’s full. And fuel for fires and furs to keep them warm. It was a successful day. As they marched further north, the outpost was in flames behind them.

They did this to ever outpost that they saw, every Ice nation scout they came across until they left behind them the skeletons of small towns. The resistance they met was surprisingly light, many of the Ice Nation villages cheered when they Lexa’s army appeared out of the tree line. Lexa had intended to kill every single one of them, jus drein jus daun. But when the children ran up to greet her with smiles and their parents cautiously held their children back because they were afraid Lexa might harm them. Lexa knew that she couldn’t hurt them.

“What are we going to do with them?” Cole asked.

“I cannot trust that one of them will not raise against me one day.” Lexa said. She had made that mistake before, thinking that the job was done and now she was dealing with the consequences of that leniency.

“Do we kill them?”

“They are children!” Lincoln said disbelieving that they were even considering that option. Lexa looked back where the villagers had been gathered. They were all farmers or tradesmen, their warriors had all gone to the Queen’s fortress. Nudging her horse forward Lexa moved towards the gathering.

“You will all be taken to Polis. Under guard, you will be given the opportunity to forsake your loyalty to the Ice Nation and swear fealty to me.” Lexa announced. She arranged for them to be escorted by a handful of her warriors for their protection and to guard them.

“Do you plan to do that at every village? Because if you do, we will not have any men to fight when we reach the fortress.” Cole teased as she rejoined him.

 

* * *

 

 After marching for what felt like eternity, Lexa found that they were finally getting close. And it was as lifeless as she remembered it. They marched slowly by a sign from the old world. It was falling apart and mostly covered in rust but Octavia recognized it immediately.

“The Queen’s capital in Niagara Falls?” Octavia asked. She remembered seeing pictures of it that Bellamy would show her. He told her all about it when he learned about it. She had always thought that it was wonderful that people used to use water as a way to power things.

“The ice looks solid Heda.” Cole said. No one had ever seen the river thawed, the water was always frozen.

“We’ll have to cross it at night, out in the open she has too good a view.” Lexa answered looking across the plane of ice. Soon she was joined by those nearest her, seeing what she was staring at. Octavia gasped, she had imagined what the ice fortress looked like. She knew that it had to be impressive. But she never thought that it would look like this.

They had used the shell of the building that had already stood there and reinforced it with thick grey stone and built up. Several floors of cold stone walls. And the wall that surrounded it made the gate around Camp Jaha look pathetic.

“How does the ice support that?” Octavia asked.

“It doesn’t, there is an island over there. Accessible by that bridge.” Lexa pointed to the only raised surface over the ice. She was confident that they could march over the ice without it breaking. The more separated they were the less likely they were to break through the ice.

“We’ll make camp here then.” Cole barked orders for the warriors to make up camp. they were maybe a quarter of a mile from the fortress. So close, and Lexa didn’t want to wait to attack. But in the middle of the day, crossing the white ice she knew that they would be seen and they would be cut down by arrows.

* * *

 

Across the ice field Nia saw the gathering army, she could see them move in the tree line. Her people were getting more and more nervous now that their foe was seen. Nothing in the north grew with any sort of abundance. If, by some miracle Lexa and her army were able to survive the cold, they would easily outlast the food supplies of the fortress. They would be forced to fight because their supply lines would be able to get through. But they had time before they had to face that possibility.

And so they waited, days passed and Nia waited for Lexa’s patients to run out but the Commander remained steadfast. Biding her time and waiting for Nia to come out and greet her. She wanted the Azgeda army to be hungry and weak and she would quickly get her wish. The rationing was keeping her people alive but each of them were hungry when they went to sleep at night.

“When do you think that she will attack?” Cole asked, Lexa paced bac and forth, occasionally glancing at the fortress. Though she knew the importance of waiting for Nia to make the first move, that did not mean that she enjoyed waiting.

“She will attack soon. If she has the entire army housed in that fortress, then she is going to need to feed them. She will run out of food a lot faster than she was anticipating.” Lexa said.

“We’ll increase the patrol.”

“When the fighting starts, you know what needs to be done.” It wasn’t a question, she and Cole had gone over it many times. But she needed to make sure that Cole understood it.

“I wish you would let me go with you.”

“I need you here.” Lexa said. There were few people she cared to lead her army in her stead.

They had waited so long for it, so long for the fighting to break out. So when it did, it almost seemed to take them by surprise with out suddenly the fighting began. The warning horn sounded through the forest. Within moments Lexa was at the head of her army, wondering what had caused the horn to go off. The front gate of the fortress had opened and out marched battalion after battalion. No where near the full compliment of warriors that made up the army of Azgeda. But it would be a fight.

“Tell the men to avoid fighting on the ice, but if they must, they must remember not to clump together.” Lexa instructed. Cole relayed the message as they watched as the Azgeda army took their formation, staying close to the walls. Well within the protective shield of their archers.

“We need to get them away from the walls.” Cole said.

“Give me two battalions.” Lexa said. Cole’s eyes narrowed, first in confusion and then further when he realized what she was thinking.

“You are baiting them?”

“If they think that they can overrun me, they will follow. Then, when they are beyond the reach of their archers bring the rest of the men.”

“You should let me lead them, you bring the army with you.”

“No. She needs to see me. And so do the men. I am Heda, no one fights for me.”

There was a faint murmur that spread through the Azgeda forces, they stood obediently but they didn’t think that Lexa would be stupid enough to take the bait being offered to her. Instead, they would be forced to stand out there all day. It was a beautiful day, the skies blue and cloudless, a pleasant calm before the winter storms picked up again and the sun became a pleasant dream.

“Look.” One warrior said pointing out to the horizon. In the distance it was hard to tell who it was, except that it was a lone rider. But as the rider drew closer there was no doubt who it was. Lexa road proudly across the bridge, head held high and war paint perfectly placed. Behind her, the men that she had chosen followed on foot.

“She is insane.” Another exclaimed. The call for the archers came from somewhere on the wall. A test shot, one to see if Lexa and her warriors were in range came flying over their heads. Lexa watched it as it flew, knowing that they were not close enough, but she wanted to know where it landed. It skids to a stop in front of her at least ten yards.

Nudging her horse forward she stopped just in front of the arrow. She knew how risky it was, one of the other archers might have a longer range. She could be shot down at any moment. But, she was there to pick a fight. And to do that she needed to be confident.

“So this is the great Azgeda army! Hiding in the shadows of your Queen’s walls, afraid to fight me?” Lexa’s voice carried to the warriors, goading them. It was a gamble, to think that they would let their pride dictate their actions. But it seemed to be working.

“I had heard tales of the terrifying might of Azgeda. I am disappointed in what I see.” She forced a laugh. And that’s when she saw them begin to inch away from the wall. One step, and then two, until they were walking steadily towards them. She dismounted her horse and allowed it to leave her, knowing that it would go back to camp as it had been trained.

Lexa stood with her men as she always had done during war. She would never allow them to march without her. Gripping her sword Lexa found her thoughts to be surprisingly focused. Anya had taught her that when she faces an enemy nothing else matters but that one enemy. It doesn’t matter what else is going on, Clarke, the Sky People, the coalition, none of it mattered. She just needed to focus on staying alive.

When the two forces collided it was with the sound of thunder as hundreds of blades struck one another with deadly precision. The chaos of battle surrounded Lexa as she cut down warrior after warrior, watching as they fell. Time stood still, it could have been minutes or hours that they stood out in the cold killing one another, there was no time for soreness or pain, no time to think of what they were doing or why, only that it needed to be done.

One Azgeda man raced towards her, looking as big as a bear he lunged. As he took her to the ground Lexa felt the air leave her as his weight settled on top of her and the frozen ground pushed unforgivingly at her back. His fist came across her face and for a moment Lexa was only aware of the searing pain of it. And then her knee was driving up, catching him in the groin and watching as pain washed over his eyes and he toppled off of her. She pushed out from under him and stood, picking up her sword as she went and driving it hard into his chest. The sharp blade slid through his armor and his body easily.

Hearing the approaching foot falls of Cole and the rest of the army Lexa went on fighting, she would worry about her jaw later. With the new reinforcements the battle was over quickly. Standing amongst the dead Lexa looked up at the fortress wall. For the first time she saw Nia standing there, looking down at her with hard eyes.

“Collect your dead Nia.” Lexa offered. It was a kindness that she didn’t need to extend, but she would not compromise her spirit just to be spiteful. Giving Nia the chance to honor her dead was the right thing to do. And if Nia didn’t take her offer, that was not on her.

* * *

Lexa winced as Nyko looked at her jaw, there was a harsh looking blue and black bruise forming along her jawline. He had already told her that it wasn’t broken, but he wanted to make sure that there was no crack. 

“How many did we lose?” Lexa asked while Nyko continued his exam. Cole looked up from the report.

“Twenty dead, eleven injured badly enough they should be sent back to Polis as soon as they are stable. And 30 injured but can still fight.” Cole said. Lexa’s eyes dropped, taking a moment to honor the dead that had fought with her.

“We will need to honor them.” Lexa said.

“The pyres are already being constructed.”

“Good. We have to talk about our next strategy. Nia won’t let her men come to us next time, we will have to think of another way to get past their archers.” Lexa said.

“What about mirrors?” Octavia asked suddenly. She didn’t know why she had been allowed to stay for this meeting. She was sure that they had forgotten that she was even in the room until she spoke.

“Mirrors?” Cole asked. Octavia nervously swallowed, shifting her gaze between Lexa and Cole. Receiving an encouraging nod from Lexa before continuing.

“If they bring some of their army out, expecting that their archers will protect them with their arrows, then we take away the archers. If we can get enough reflective material, we can time are attack so that it happens when the sun is shining right at the mirrors. It’ll reflect back at them and blind the archers. If we can get them at the right angle.” Octavia explained.

“We do not have mirrors to do this.”

“We have ice. Ice will do the same thing will it not Octavia?” Lexa asked.

“Yeah. Ice will work.”

“Make the arrangements, Nia isn’t going to take the defeat she suffered lightly.”

* * *

 

Inside the fortress Nia vented her anger upon her council, shouting and throwing things, demanding answers for how the men she had sent had met such devastating defeat. Not one of them had survived the fight. And they were the superior force. They should have been able to beat Lexa’s forces and have brought Lexa’s head to her on a platter.

“How did you let this happen?” Nia demanded her hand coming across Roan’s face in a vicious slap. His head jerked, and he grit his teeth in anger but he said nothing for several moments.

“With respect, with Lexa leading them they have an enthusiasm, a confidence that makes them unbeatable.” Roan almost envied Lexa for that. Her army followed her because they wanted to, because they took pride in the fact that they were a part of Lexa’s army. Nia’s army followed her because they were forced to, because the lives of their families depended on how well they served. There was no honor in that. 

“Then she needs to be taken care of. Send some of our best assassins tonight. I want her dead by morning.” Nia commanded.

“They will never reach her; her tent will be in the middle of their camp. you think that they won’t notice that one of ours in walking through their camps.”

“It will be dark, and make sure that the assassin is dressed like Trikru.”

* * *

Clarke read over the report she had been handed, her eyes greedily drinking in the words as she looked for news of Lexa. It had been two weeks since Lexa had marched and this was the first news that they were getting of how the campaign was going. She was aware of everyone’s watchful gaze, Abby and Marcus were watching her wondering if they could tell if the news was good or bad from the expressions on her face. Bellamy shifted nervously as he waited to hear if Octavia was okay. And the rest of the ambassadors waited anxiously for news of their warriors.

“They have engaged with the Azgeda army, victorious.” Clarke announced with a smile. The room erupted in applause as she news was spread. There was the list of the warriors that had been lost and what clan they came from so that arrangements could be made by their families when the time came. Clarke’s eyes moved over the list, looking for any names that she recognized. She found none, and she felt bad to admit that she was relieved. She shouldn’t be relieved, people were dead. But she couldn’t help it. 

“Niron gon Heda?” The messenger asked, trying to get Clarke’s attention. When Clarke tore her attention away from the letter she saw that he was holding out another page. Before she knew it her legs were carrying her from the dais down to the messenger. “Heda asked me to deliver this to you as well.” He said. He didn’t need to tell her that the contents of it were private.

“Mochof.” She said leaving the room so that she could alone with the letter that Lexa had written. Her heart was racing. She could barely catch her breath as she finally reaches their bedroom and closed the door, clutching the letter to her chest. Everything within her wanted to tear the letter open that moment and read it but she forced herself to wait until she crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She would probably need to sit down for whatever was written.

_Clarke,_

_Ai Houmon._

_It is cold up here in the north, like I remember it from so long ago. We use the heaters Raven has made for us and they are keeping us alive. Please tell her thank you for me. During the day I wait for the Queen to make her move. But at night, I try and image what it is you would tell me, how you would council me. You would probably tell me to be patient and not to make any quick decisions. So I am doing that. Anything to keep my promise to you._

_I love you_

_Ste yuj ai hodnes_

_Lexa_

Clarke didn’t realize by the time she was done reading the letter that she was crying. Hot tears rolling down her cheeks and droplets falling onto the paper in front of her. The first night that Lexa had been gone she sobbed, cried until she had no more tears left, and she hadn’t cried since. Until now. She could picture Lexa sitting at her war table scrawling out this letter because she knew that Clarke would be worried about her. Knowing that Clarke would be anxious for news.

It would still be weeks before she would have the opportunity to see Lexa again. And that time could not come fast enough.


	20. Chapter 20

**Damn, this last episode was painful. I'm still in a bit of denial. Not going to lie. So, I'm going to bury my head in my fics for a while. Kind of bad timing. I had another story that I was going to start posting as soon as this one was finished. I'd be interested in hearing how many of you are interested in it now that well..3x07 happened. If you guys could let me know, that'd be great. Either in an IM or a comment.**

 

Chapter 19

Dawn greeted the army with a thick fog and a bone chilling cold as they all began to rouse and light large fires to begin cooking their breakfasts. Cole sat next to the fire pit outside Lexa’s tent, he was trying not to worry. It was unlike the Commander to not already be awake. But, he didn’t want to risk waking her if she was getting some sleep. Lexa worked harder than anyone else in the army, usually the first one to wake and the last one to go to sleep. Yet he was worried.

“Where’s Heda?” Octavia asked. She had just walked around the camp with Lincoln. Checking with the sentries and making sure that they hadn’t noticed anything different. Satisfied that no one had come through the border of the camp she had circled around to check with Lexa and see what the next course of action would be.

“Sleeping.”

“Still?”

“I know, it’s strange. She deserves sleep though.” Octavia looked over at the tent, pulling her sword she pushed aside the tent opening. If she did wake Lexa, she was sure that the Commander would forgive her for it. Lexa’s tent was dark, she hadn’t lit any candles or torches for light and with the thickness of the tent walls it made the tent very dark inside. Blinking rapidly until her eyes focused in the darkness Octavia looked around. Seeing the shadows of figures of the table and chairs of Lexa’s war table.

“Heda?” Octavia asked looking around. The silence worried her. Even if Lexa was sleeping she would have woken the moment Octavia came into the tent and she would have had her blade to Octavia’s throat. Walking slowly forward, Octavia stopped when she stepped in something wet and she nearly fell.

“An assassin.” Lexa’s voice broke through the silence.

“Are you alright?” Octavia asked.

“I wasn’t sure how many more there would be. I wanted them to think that the first of them had succeeded.” Lexa answered lighting the larger fire pit at the center of the tent lighting the room. Octavia saw that Lexa hadn’t escaped the brawl completely unscathed, she had a long gash along the side of her face from where the assassin had gotten lucky with his blade.

“You should have raised the alarm.”

“What good would that have done other than alert the other assassin that their first attempt failed.” Octavia looked down at the body before her feet, as she had suspected she had stepped into the pool of blood. She was currently standing where the mans head should be.

“Where is his head?” Octavia asked. Lexa raised her hand, she was gripping the assassin’s head by a fist full of hair.

“We’re going to return him to his Queen.” Lexa answered.

When Lexa emerged from the tent holding the assassin’s head, Cole stood quickly and his eyes were drawn down to head that she was carrying. He said nothing, but the shame that he felt for letting Lexa down was overwhelming. Lexa stalked through the camp, saying nothing but as her warriors saw her walking they all stood and they began to follow.

“Queen Nia!” Lexa’s voice had never sounded more powerful as she stood just beyond the archer’s range. Lexa watched as people began to gather along walls staring down at her. But finally Lexa saw Nia. Throwing the assassin’s head, watching as it rolled towards to a stop before them. “You’re going to have to try harder!”

The warriors behind her laughed at her taunt. Above her she could see that Nia was fuming. The older woman stepped closer to the edge.

“You can’t break through the walls Commander.” Nia said with a cool arrogance that grated on her nerves.

“Perhaps. But you can’t stay in there forever, and we will stay out here for as long as it takes.”

“We shall see.”

* * *

 

Clarke rode with her mother towards the north, they had left Polis days ago with the rest of the warriors and their next ration of supplies and medical. It had been six long weeks, Clarke wondered how they were faring without medical care other than their field medics. She hadn’t heard from Lexa other than that first letter, and the news that she did hear was sparse at best. She heard of their triumphs against the Ice Queen’s army. But she also heard of how many they were losing. They were fighting a war that couldn’t be won unless they could breach the walls. Otherwise it would be a waiting game. 

Raven rode on the other side of Clarke; she hadn’t spoken to Clarke about the request Lexa had made before she left. She hadn‘t told anyone that she had enough explosives in her bag to blow a crater the size of Camp Jaha. But that was the way that Lexa had requested it, no one could know that the back up plan was to blow the Ice Nation capital into the stratosphere. It had taken some fast talking on her part in order to go with the envoy, she told them that she had to make sure that she needed to go to check on the functioning of the heaters. Luckily, Clarke had been to distracted to question it much further.

They had been riding for days when they came across the first outpost that had fallen casualty to the war. For a moment they could only stare at the ruins.

“My god.” Abby muttered finally. She knew that they were walking into a war and she would see things that she hadn’t ever seen before. War was thankfully something that she had not been exposed to. The aftermath of it she was more familiar, but she could only imagine how many people had died.

“The Commander knows what could happen when she leaves those behind who could one day rise up against her.” Hudson commented.

“Are we going to see a lot more of this?” Abby asked.

“Probably.”

“Come on, we still have a lot of distance to cover.” Clarke said nudging her horse forward.

Days later when they reached the border of the camp, Clarke nudged her horse into a gallop. The thought of seeing Lexa was too much incentive for her to go slowly. The warriors all moved out of her way, they had gotten news that Clarke and the last of the reinforcements were coming. Reaching the center of the camp Clarke slid off her horse with the expertise of a seasoned horsewoman. Lincoln was impressed, walking up to greet her with a hug.

“Well you do know how to make an entrance.” Lincoln said with a laugh. 

“Where is Lexa? Where is everyone?” Clarke asked looking around. The camp was mostly deserted.

“They should be returning soon. The Queen set out another provocation.”

“Another what?”

“She knows that we cannot breach the walls, so every few days she will march out a fraction of her army and Lexa will have to answer it. It’s usually not a problem.” Lincoln said. He could see the worry that was on Clarke’s face as soon as he even started talking and he wished that he hadn’t even said anything. Thankfully, as if on cue they heard the sound of horse hooves racing towards them. The returning army.

Lexa saw the flash of blonde hair belonging to her wife and she couldn’t refrain from smiling at the sight of her. Dismounting her horse, she dipped her hands in a waiting bowl to wash the blood off of them. She wasn’t going to touch Clarke with bloodied hands. Forgetting the fatigue, she felt from battle, her sore muscles, everything. The only thing that mattered was that she had Clarke now. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck. Clarke couldn’t explain the relief that she felt just holding Lexa in her arms knowing that at least for the moment Lexa was safe.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay.” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s ear. She never wanted to let go, as long as Lexa was in her arms that meant that she was safe.

“I should go see to my warriors.” Lexa uttered reluctantly. Clarke knew that Lexa had responsibilities, she knew that she should be helping her mom set up the medical tent but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to take the time that she could to remind herself that Lexa was alright.

“I just need a few minutes. Just to touch you.” Clarke whispered quietly. Lexa felt her mouth go dry, wordlessly nodding as she followed Clarke to her tent and shutting the front. Her guards would make sure that they weren’t disturbed.

“How was your travel?” Lexa asked trying to fill the silence that stretched between them. Clarke laughed, Lexa really could be adorable.

“Lexa, shut up and come here.” Clarke commanded. Lexa crossed the tent and took Clarke in her arms. They didn’t have time for soft, and gentle lovemaking. That was a luxury that would have to wait until the war was won. But they could satiate their need for one another. It hadn’t been something that Lexa had allowed herself to focus on. When she had been allowed silence and the ability to sleep it had only ever been when she was too exhausted to do anything to sleep. She couldn’t even remember if she was able to dream when she was that tired.

Their lips crashed together hungrily, weeks of pent up worry and emotion unleashed into one all consuming kiss. The faintest gasp from Clarke gave Lexa the opportunity she needed to slide her tongue inside Clarke’s waiting mouth engaging her in a duel for dominance. Groaning when she felt Clarke’s fingers in her hair, blunt nails scraping along her scalp holding her in place. Clarke’s touch set Lexa’s body aflame. She needed to be closer to Clarke. Needed to feel Clarke’s skin on her her skin.

Running her hands down Clarke’s back, taking a detour to run her fingers along the revealed skin along Clarke’s back. Clarke shuddered in delight at the teasing touch, she was embarrassingly wet. She knew it but she didn’t care. It had been six weeks since she had last touched Lexa, she figured she was allowed.

“Six weeks.” Clarke had meant there to be some sort of scolding in her tone. But she was sure a lot of that had been lost because of the throaty moan at the end when Lexa’s lips closed around her pulse point.

“It takes as long as it takes Clarke.” Lexa answered leading Clarke towards the bed.

“Six weeks since you’ve been in my bed.” Clarke replied pushing Lexa’s jacket off. Lexa laughed softly against Clarke’s skin. She liked seeing the blonde like this, knowing that Clarke was as impatient for her as she was for Clarke.

“I missed you too.” Lexa said laying Clarke back on the bed. Before joining her Lexa shed her clothes until she was as naked as she dared to be in the cold. The tent may have been tolerable, but it was not advisable to be naked when the temperature outside was low enough to give someone frostbite.

Lexa found Clark to be more than ready for her when she reached between Clarke’s legs, feeling the wetness there coat her finger. Falling back against the furs, Clarke parted her legs allowing for Lexa to slide her thigh behind her hand giving her better leverage. Lexa ran her fingertips along Clarke’s wetness, her touch just a whisper of a touch causing Clarke to buck against Lexa’s hand impatiently.

“Don’t tease.” Clarke growled. Lexa nodded, kissing her apology along Clarke’s jawline. Pushing her finger deep inside Clarke and feeling Clarke’s muscles tighten around her digit, pulling her inside. Clarke turned to bite into the pillow next to her, anything to muffle the sound of her screams. They didn’t have the same privacy here as they did in Polis and neither of them wanted to attract the attention of the army and flaunt to them that they were taking a moment for pleasure.

Lexa moved with determination, every stroke of her thumb against Clarke’s clit, every curl in her finger, meant to bring Clarke closer to the edge. Feeling the muscles around her fingers begin to quiver, begin to tense and clench Lexa knew that Clarke was almost there. She just needed that final push. Thrusting one more time, with her thumb applying just the right amount of pressure Clarke felt her orgasm shit her. Wave after delicious wave of it taking Clarke higher and higher. She tried to stay quiet, biting at the furs at her lips, but it was impossible until Lexa’s hand covered her lips and muffled the loudest bit of Clarke’s climax.

Her body trembled with aftershocks as she came down from her orgasm, feeling Lexa release her mouth and pull her close Clarke opened her eyes taking in the smugness of her wife’s face.

“I do not think that the Queen heard you in her fortress.” Lexa teased. Clarke scowled playfully, shoving Lexa on her back.

“She should know that while she is hiding behind her walls, you’re here with me.” Clarke answered.

“We don’t have much time.” Lexa said regretfully. She was trying to pretend that she wasn’t throbbing. That she wasn’t dying to have Clarke’s hands on her. That she could walk out of this tent and think of something other than the fact that she needed release.

“We have enough time. Let me take care of you.” Clarke murmured.

* * *

 

 “How was the booty call?” Octavia asked as soon as Clarke emerged from the tent. She didn’t need to say anything; it wouldn’t have done much good. Octavia knew Clarke too well and would have seen through any lie that she tried to concoct.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Clarke said wrapping her arm around Octavia and hugging her to her side.

“Lexa’s kept her promise, and I’ve kept mine.”

“Have you seen Bellamy?” Clarke asked. Octavia dropped her head, she hadn’t looked for her brother. Though she knew that she should have, she was still bothered with how they had ended things. She was still angry with him for going behind her back and trying to get Lexa to not allow her to go on the campaign. But he was probably worried.

“Not yet, your mom recruited him to help her set up the medical tent.”

“Do you think she’s mad that I disappeared?” Clarke asked.

“Nah, she knows that your priority was to see Lexa. I think that she would have expected nothing less.” Octavia offered.

The medical tent was busy by the time that Clarke got to it, those who had been patched up by the field healers were now being looked after by Abby and Jackson. When she walked into the med tent, Clarke caught her mothers eye. Bowing her head embarrassed, sure that her cheeks were a deep set of red. She might as well have tattooed on her forehead that she had just had sex with Lexa.

“How’s the Commander?” Abby asked genuinely concerned.

“She’s fine, she’s got a few bumps and bruises but nothing that I can’t take care of. What can I do here to help?” Clarke asked looking around.

“There are a few grounders that need stitches over there.”

“I’m on it.”

* * *

 

 

“And this will breech the wall?” Lexa asked looking down at the device that Raven had set on the table. She didn’t understand how something so tiny could break through something so solid. But from the way that Raven caught her hand to keep her from touching it, she guessed that it was more dangerous than it looked.

“This will punch a hole in anything. But how are you going to get it close enough? I’m pretty sure that they are going to notice if we just go strolling up to the gates.” Raven asked. 

“Will you teach my warriors how to work this?” Lexa asked.

“Sure, it’s not that difficult. They are rigged to a trigger. You put it where you want it, and as long as the trigger is in range once they’re armed you push the button and boom.” Raven explained holding out the trigger. Several of Lexa’s warriors took a step back at the sight, thinking that the bombs were already armed. It didn’t look that difficult but still, it was a type of weapon that they were not accustomed too.

“Do not worry about placing these, we will take care of it.”

* * *

 

Lexa returned to her tent that night, remembering who was waiting for her just inside. It filled her with an excitement. Since the attempt on her life security had tightened and now it was impossible to sneak back into the camp. The guard had doubled and Cole had chosen the sentries outside of her tent. Clarke was already inside in her sleeping clothes when Lexa went inside. 

“Were you going to tell me that an assassin attacked you in this tent?” Clarke demanded.

“Do not be afraid, you are safe here.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. An assassin got close enough to where you sleep and you didn’t think to mention it?” Clarke clarified.

“I knew that you would worry about it. I did not think that I needed to say anything if it was something that you didn’t need to worry about.” Lexa explained. Clarke rolled her eyes, that was such a Lexa thing to do. Only mention something when it was something that Lexa thought she should know about it.

“You are infuriating sometimes. You know that right?” Clarke asked wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist and pulling Lexa close. When she had heard about how the Commander had taken down an assassin without anyone knowing it, she’d been filled with a mixture of emotion. She’d been angry with the guards that were entrusted to keep Lexa safe. She was mad that Lexa didn’t say anything. But overall, she had been relieved that Lexa was alright.

“So you keep telling me.” Lexa answered dropping her jacket in a heap at the floor and unclicking her armor and leaving it on a chair. She just wanted to curl around Clarke and actually get some sleep.

“What is the plan for tomorrow? Another siege on the fortress?”

“No. The Queen rarely attacks two days in a row.”

Lexa lay on the bed, sliding under the furs and holding the edge up for Clarke. Clarke didn’t need any further encouragement. This bed was a lot smaller than the one they had in Polis. But it had enough room for each of them to cuddle. With her arms wrapped tightly around Clarke, Lexa fell into a pleasant sleep.

* * *

 

Clarke woke the next morning to an empty bed. There was nothing unique about that. Lexa was always an early riser. But as she sat up, Clarke looked around slightly disoriented because her mind was still slightly lost in sleep. Something felt odd, she wasn’t entirely sure what it was that wasn’t sitting right with her. Getting out of bed and slipping on her clothes to fight off the morning chill Clarke found a folded up piece of paper waiting for her on the war table. 

Picking up the paper Clarke found that her hand was trembling. Opening it she let her eyes drink in the words and it took several attempts before her heart would believe what her eyes were telling her.

_Clarke,_

_Today is the day that we end this war. I am sorry that I did not wake you before I left, but I didn’t have the heart too. And I knew that you would try and stop me. Don’t be afraid for me, I will see you when this is over._

_-Lexa._

Crumpling the paper in her fist Clarke cursed Lexa for sneaking away in the morning. Knowing that Clarke wouldn’t have approved of the way that she wanted to handle things. Throwing on the rest of her clothes Clarke walked out of the tent. The sun had been up for a few hours but it was still early morning, most of the more weathered warriors who had been there the longest remained in the camp but they were battle ready for when they were needed. Lexa had taken the freshest warriors with her. Those who were still hungry for the fight. Still, the air was eerily quiet. There were no distant sounds of battle. Nor were there sounds of marching armies, it was quiet. The battle had yet to begin.  

 

**Next chapter is the final showdown between Lexa and Nia and many questions are answered.**


	21. Chapter 21

**So, I was hoping to post this chapter last night. But that would have been a cliff hanger. And I didn't want to do that to you guys. Enjoy!**

 

Chapter 20

Shae had woken late into the night, feeling the first pangs of labor. Foolishly she had thought that she could stop it, convince her child to wait until they could be rescued. She had seen what had happened to the two women who had given birth to healthy, beautiful baby’s. The mothers had been killed and the babies had been left out in the cold to freeze. She did not want that fate for her child, but worse, if she was carrying the next Commander in her womb she did not want it to be raised in the North.

Closing her eyes tightly and biting her lip to stifle any sound so she would not be seen by the guards who watched her every move. She was the last of them. There had been a handful of them before her and now they were all dead because they did not produce to Commander.

Breathing deeply, Shae hoped that she could hold out just long enough.

* * *

 

Lexa knew that Nia wasn’t going to resist the challenge of marching her entire army to the front gates of the fortress. Even faced with the full might of the 12 clans, Nia was arrogant. And she believed herself to be safe behind her walls. It didn’t matter how many warriors she lost. She would rule over a land of corpses so long as it meant that she would have the satisfaction of seeing Lexa die. That was the order she had given every warrior before they marched onto the battle field, every archer would take aim at Lexa, the Commander was not to leave the field alive. 

“My Queen, the Commander does not lead them.” Nia looked down at the horde before her, looking for the familiar flash of red that would signify the Commander’s sash. In all the clashes that they had since the war started, Lexa had never been absent. Nia had mocked Lexa’s sense of honor that forced her to lead her army when she could stay behind them and be safe.

“Where is she?” Nia demanded.

“No one has seen her.”

“She is up to something. She has to be, if she is going to let the army march without her. Find her. I wand her head delivered to me.” Nia ordered. Not knowing where Lexa was made her nervous. Lexa was not an opponent that should be underestimated.

Cole watched as the full might of the Queen’s army emerged from the fortress. They had grossly underestimated how many warriors Nia still had. They thought that she had lost enough in the earlier battles that there could not be many people left. But as the hundreds poured out of the open gate with no sign of stopping, Cole turned to the gona nearest to him.

“Send riders back to the camp. Bring everyone.” Come said.

* * *

 

Shae felt her water break and stared down at the pool of liquid that stained her blanket. Before she could conceal it, the guard in charge of watching over her spotted it. He opened the cell door and walked in, grabbing the blanket he lifted it and saw what she was trying to hide. 

“Inform the Queen.”

“Stay away!” Shae said defiantly. She was in no condition to fight them off. She could barely stand on her own. When he lifted her, Shae leaned heavily against him. He didn’t care, he would carry her if he needed to. Nia would be pleased that at the start of battle an omen such as this.

* * *

 

Lexa led the small group of warriors she had chosen to come with her, Octavia behind her and the dozen or so of her best warriors. She knew that she was asking them to have a lot of faith in her, following the information of a captured Ice Nation defector. But she needed to end this war, getting the gates open was the only way to do that. Her army would be waiting for them when they finally got the gate open. And if they failed, then her army died for nothing.

Feeling the ice beneath her feet shift and crack Lexa hesitated. Searching for signs that the ice had broken through. Breathing a sign of relief when she found that it had not. The ice was inches thick if not feet, and she had purposely chosen as light as possible. Each of her warriors were instructed to bring their weapon of choice. But they would be traveling on the ice too much to risk breaking through.

“Are we sure that there is a door down here Heda?” Octavia asked silently. The stairs that they had found were

“It would seem foolish if they built stairs that went nowhere.” Lexa answered. She didn’t know what they were to expect with the door they found. If it was unguarded as Echo had told them it was, then Nia had been confident that it could not be opened. It was possible that the door was frozen shut, or perhaps they had attempted to seal it up, but Echo had seemed certain that they would be able to use it to get through into the fortress.

The door, though Lexa didn’t know if they could call it that, was a solid sheet of ice. It was almost impossible to see through the layers to make out the door. But if she looked closely enough she could see the hint of letters that had been preserved by the ice.

“How are we going to get through the ice?” Octavia asked. Lexa moved aside letting one of her warriors past. He didn’t carry a sword or a bow like the rest of them, he carried a hammer. Octavia was surprised that he could even lift it. Let along swing it with his entire body weight behind it. It took a few attempts; he had cracked the ice enough that they could break it away.

“Does that answer your question?” Lexa asked with a faint smile.

“Sorry, should have known that you would bring a human battering ram to the fight.” Octavia answered shoving at the door with her shoulder. She felt the pain of it radiate through her shoulder. When the door gave way, it was with a loud crack that echoed through the darkness in front of them.

For a moment they stood still, waiting to see if they had drawn attention. After a few moments, Lexa was sure that they hadn’t drawn any attention she led them inside. It was a basement of some sort, where they had put a lot of the old world things that had long ago been forgotten. It was a treasure trove of things, maps, objects that could tell them more about the old world. But this wasn’t the time for them to look around.

“What is the plan Heda?”

“Get to the front gate and open it.” Lexa answered. She spoke as if it was going to be simple. But she knew that it would be anything but. She only had twelve warriors, her best warriors beyond doubt but they would likely be facing hundreds when they tried to reach their goal. When they were discovered inside the fortress, the Queen would stop at nothing to kill her.

* * *

 

“You can draw this out as much as you want, but you can’t fight nature. You cannot stop your baby from coming.” Nia taunted standing at the base of the bed, watching Shae writhe and strain against her natural instinct to try and help the process. 

“My baby will never be yours."

“Your child will be the new Commander. That should bring you some joy.” Nia answered with a cruel laugh.

“My Queen, the Commander is inside the fortress.” Nia’s smile faded quickly, casting one last look at the woman on the bed before her and then she turned to leave.

“Have the guards protect this room. They will not steal this baby from me. Bring me the Commander’s head.” Nia ordered.

* * *

 

Clarke found that there was a lot that needed to be done, and she was grateful for it. Grateful that there was something that would take her mind off of the fact that Lexa was out there right at that moment and that she could possibly not come back. Grateful that she could focus on something other than how mad that it made her. So she helped Abby set up the countless beds that she knew that they would need. The battles so far hadn’t resulted in too many casualties. But her gut told her that this one was going to be different. 

“We brought with us the last of the morphine that we had. We’ll have to make it count.” Abby said looking between Clarke, Nyko, and Jackson.

“Are we…when the wounded start coming in, are we operating on triage protocol?” Jackson asked his voice catching. No physician wanted to be put in the situation where they needed to chose who lives and who dies. It would be all of their first instincts to try and save all of them. But it wasn’t likely that it would be possible to save everyone. Not with field medicine.

“We’ll do what we can for everyone. This is how its going to work, Nyko and Clarke will handle the minor injuries and those who can wait. Jackson and I will handle the more serious cases, those with missing limbs and life threatening wounds.” Abby instructed. She was more concerned with Clarke, her daughter had such a big heart that it would be hard for Clarke to walk away from someone, even if she couldn’t save her.

The sound of chaos outside the medical tent drew all of their attention, it was too soon for the wounded to start coming in. But when then walked outside, they saw everyone scrambling for the weapons. Warriors who had been told that they would not be needed because they had been fighting for so long already, they had earned their rest. Now they were being called to the front lines.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked. Nyko listened to the orders being shouted in Trigedasleng and then looked behind them at Hudson who was also reaching for his weapon. The order extended to him too.

“Everyone is being called to the front lines.”

“That’s not good right?” Clarke asked.

“It means that the Queen’s army was bigger than we thought.” Nyko said. Clarke watched her faithful bodyguard. The man who she was surprised had come to mean quite a bit to her.

“Be careful Hudson.” Clarke said. He smiled softly and then was lost in the sea of bodies as they prepared to march.

“She’s going to be alright Clarke.” Abby promised.

“I know.” Clarke answered staring at the marching army.

“How can we help?” Raven asked with Bellamy in tow. Neither of them liked being put on the sidelines. Lexa had refused to allow Bellamy to help the army, even in the direst of circumstances. Bellamy thought that it was her way of punishing him. But Clarke knew that it had more to do with her than Bellamy. Lexa knew how much Bellamy meant to Clarke, and that if anything happened to him Clarke would never recover from it. So she kept him safe by keeping him in the camp.

“Until the wounded start to arrive, we will maintain the perimeter of the camp.” Nyko said handing Bellamy a sword and leading him off. Abby was already telling Raven what she could do to help.

* * *

 

Lexa had learned early on during her training that a warrior should never show pain on the battlefield. It would only allow the enemy a target to exploit. She tried to remember that when she felt one of the enemy’s blade catch her just across her ribs sending searing pain through her body. Around her, her warriors were fighting as fiercely as she was, cutting through warriors as if they were nothing more than training dummies. Arrows flew around them, her best archers shooting from a safe vantage point allowing them to get closer to the main gate. 

Hearing the sound of Octavia hitting the ground Lexa spun, seeing the young brunette laying on her back having been knocked down by a larger warrior who now towered over her. Lexa pulled her dagger and threw it, catching the warrior right in the throat. She did not wait to see him hit the ground before turning her attention away. They were in a bottleneck. When they had reached the main floor of the fortress the warriors had started coming at them and they had not stopped.

“We’re going to get slaughtered if we stay here.” Lexa knew her gona was right when he said it. No matter how good they were, facing so many of them was only going to get them killed once exhaustion set in.

“There is a stairwell up there. It will lead to the throne room. Archers.” It was hard fought to get to the stairwell. Lexa half expected that there would be warriors waiting there too. But when they reached the narrow ascending stairwell it was surprisingly without obstruction. It didn’t give them much, but it gave them the faintest hint of a head start. Having to go two by two would slow the Ice warriors down.

“Now what?” Octavia asked leaning against the wall, taking a moment to recover what little strength she could.

“Now we separate. We no longer have the element of surprise and nothing is more important than getting the gate open. You will get the gate open or you will die trying.” Lexa commanded. She watched as each of them straightened and nodded their heads. None of them questioned, they didn’t even hesitate.

“Where are you going?” Octavia asked while the others rested for the brief moment they were allowed.

“I am going to finish what Nia started.” Lexa answered.

“I can go with you.”

“This is something I have to do alone. Besides, I need you with them. They have a better chance of success with you then without.” Lexa said with a reassuring smile. If Octavia wasn’t covered in blood and sweat she probably would have blushed.

“Just, don’t get yourself killed. Clarke will kill me.” Octavia said extending her hand to Lexa. Lexa took Octavia’s hand.

“Likewise, I made a promise to your both Clarke and Bellamy that you would return to them unharmed.”

“May we meet again Commander.”

Lexa watched them go, waiting until they disappeared down another hallway before she turned and went the opposite direction. She just needed to find Nia. The Queen was old; she wouldn’t stand a chance against Lexa. But Nia knew that. She wasn’t going to face Lexa alone, or if she did she would not allow the fight to be fair.

Ultimately, it was the sound of someone crying out in pain that drew Lexa’s attention. She could recognize the sounds. When she was a child, before she had understood what responsibility she had inherited. One of the women from their small village had gone into labor. Lexa remembered the way that it sounded, she remembered it vividly because they were trying to keep her away from it. Though as a child Lexa was curious, she wanted to know about the process of life.

She had snuck out of the tent when Anya wasn’t looking. She wanted to see it. Lexa remembered watching as the mother struggled to bring the child into the world. The midwives encouraging her, coaching her, letting her know that she should scream like a warrior when she wanted too. The sound of pain made Lexa shy away. Why anyone would want to do this to themselves was beyond her.

That was how Lexa knew that one of the pregnant women who had been taken was now in labor. The sound was unmistakable. She wasn’t sure how the pieces started falling into place. But as she got closer to the sound, step by silent step, wary of everything around her. Every shadow maybe being the hiding spot for a guard. She was beginning to understand Nia’s plan.

“Come for the birth?” Nia asked as Lexa emerged into the throne room. Lexa saw the older woman sitting proudly on her throne, beside her Roan stood in his armor and white war paint. Clearly ready to fight Lexa on behalf of Nia.

“I’ve come to kill you.” Lexa answered simply.

“I’m impressed that you have gotten in. Tell me, who told you about the passage below the fortress? A defector?”

“You do not command the loyalty you think that you do Nia.”

“We can’t all be bleeding hearts for our people.” Movement in the corner of her eye caught Lexa’s attention and she turned to see a figure slinking around in the shadows. She couldn’t get a good view of whoever it was. Only that they were carrying a weapon. Lexa didn’t know if she was supposed to see the newcomer, but if Nia was disappointed that the element of surprise was gone she didn’t show it.

“How is this going to go Nia? I fight your champions and when I best them I get to kill you? Is that how we are to end this war or are you going to fight for yourself for once?” Lexa asked her eyes flickering between Roan and the poorly hidden figure.

“You assume that you can beat them. Roan is the best swordsman in all of the Ice Nation.” Nia boasted. Roan puffed out his chest at the praise. Nia’s words were rarely kind, and though he knew that she was only saying it to try and intimidate Lexa he would take the praise when he could get it.

“Let’s get this over with then.” Lexa said swinging her sword, watching as the blood that had coated her sword splattered against the ground. Roan descended the stairs from the dais and stood before Lexa with the kind of arrogant strut that lowered her respect for the warrior already.

Roan was physically more imposing than Lexa, he would be able to over power her easily if she allowed him the advantage. But Lexa had faced many warriors that were larger than her. Gustus used to train her how to fight against those who would use their size as an advantage. The larger they were, the quicker they tired and the slower they moved. Roan looked as if he could still move quickly though.

The two warriors circled each other, each waiting to see what the other was going to do. Lexa never attacked first. Impatience was enough to cause someone to lose focus. When he finally could not stand the circling anymore he lunged at her. She dodged him easily, using the handle of her sword to hit him along the back and send him tumbling forward. But he was quick to recover, standing quickly with a look of pure fury.

They were evenly matched in many ways, blows delivered and answered almost as if they were training instead of fighting to the death. Though it was not for lack of trying, Lexa took every opportunity that Roan gave her to strike a killing blow. It was only by sheer luck that Lexa saw the attacker coming, it was in the reflection of Roan’s blade that she saw the second attacker coming at her knife drawn. Spinning out of the way Lexa grabbed the woman’s outstretched arm and spun her away from her body.

“And this is Ontari, she is particularly skilled at not fighting fair.” Nia laughed. Lexa stared at her two opponents. She should have seen this coming. Nia was never one to fight fair. Though it seemed that Ontari’s sudden participation in their fight was a surprise to Roan as much as it was to Lexa.

“I am handling this.” Roan growled. He didn’t want Ontari to take this victory from him. He would be the one to kill the legendary Heda of the coalition.

“Not well enough.” Ontari replied. Lexa studied their dynamic. They were on the same side but clearly they were not fond of one another. Dare Lexa say that they were rivals.

Lexa had thought that fighting Roan would be a challenge, but fighting him and someone else that looked to also have skills in fighting Lexa was less confident about her chances. Nia watched the fighting, her smile still firmly in place. Expecting that she would soon bare witness to Lexa’s death.

* * *

 

Clarke had never seen so much blood. She had treated bad wounds on the ground before. But this, this was the worst she had ever seen. As wounded started coming from the field, in agony and bleeding more than their hearts could pump. Her hands were coated in it, making them slick and sticky at the same time. Lexa’s words echoed in Clarke’s mind “ _Plans don’t last very long in battle”_. Their plan of who would treat who and where fell apart the moment every one of their beds was full. Clarke stepped over the dead and dying on her way to treat those still clinging to life. Whimpers and groans of pain filled her ears and would haunt her to the rest of her days. 

“Clarke I need your hands over here!” Abby yelled over the chaos. Clarke turned and saw her mother elbows deep in surgery. Clarke turned, but before she could return to the medical tent she felt a hand grip her ankle stopping her. A warrior, marked with black. He would die from his injuries but he wasn’t dead yet.

“Help me.” He whispered, the hand not gripping Clarke’s leg cradling the gash on his stomach that gushed blood.

“Clarke!” Abby called again when Clarke didn’t arrive promptly.

“I’m coming!” Clarke answered kneeling down beside the warrior. She could see that he knew that he was going to die. There was a knowing look in his eyes. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” Clarke whispered before standing and forcing herself to walk away.

Clarke joined her Abby by the surgical bed, she was amazed that the warrior on the table was still alive with how much blood she was losing. Abby was stopping the blood as quickly as she should but with how many severed veins and nicked it was a losing battle.

“We need to start removing the dead. Open up the beds.” Jackson said.

“Have one of the grounders help. The grounders treat their dead with honor. The bodies need to be taken care of.” Clarke instructed.

* * *

 

Lexa’s entire body ached, her arms like lead as they hung by her side and her chest heaved. They had been doing the give and take battle for what felt like eternity. Ontari never seemed to slow. So Lexa was intent to push aside the pain and soreness and fight because her life depended on it. She wasn’t sure when she came to the realization that she was going to lose this fight. That didn’t mean that she was going to five up. She would fight until her last breath. 

When she came to that realization, it wasn’t so much about how she was going to manage to kill Ontari and Roan to get to Nia. It was, how was she going to kill Nia despite being locked into a fight to the death with Roan and Ontari. Thankfully, she wasn’t the only one that was tiring. And while their intentions hadn’t changed they were slowing down. Lexa pulled her dagger, twisting away from Roan Lexa threw the dagger as hard as she could. Watching as moments later it found its mark, impaling Nia through her throat.

The shocked look on Nia’s face as the life bleed out of her allowed for a moment of satisfaction. Even if she died, she had done what she came to do. Roan stumbled backward, looking at his Queen and seeing as he slumped against her throne.

“Long live the King.” Lexa muttered. Ontari voiced her outrage at losing Nia with a savage roar before lunging at Lexa. The two fell to the ground, the force of Ontari hitting her forcing the air from her lungs. Ontari’s movements were frenzied, they lacked all focus she was like an animal throwing punches and scratches. Doing everything and anything she could to cause Lexa pain. Roan watched, knowing that he should be helping Ontari. Lexa had just killed his Queen; he should want to avenge her. But he stopped because of what Lexa said. She was willing to allow him to become King of the Ice Nation.

Kicking Ontari off of her, Lexa pulled herself to her feet, bloodied and bruised Lexa just wanted to stop.

“It is over Ontari. Your Queen is dead.” Lexa said. It was clear on Ontari’s face that no matter what she wasn’t going to stop.

When Ontari moved to lunge at her two things happened simultaneously. Lexa was able to get her hands around Ontari’s head twisting hard enough that the bones of her neck snapped with a loud crack. And second, Lexa felt the sharpness of Ontari’s knife slide between the plates in her armor. The force of her fall only pushing the blade deeper into Lexa’s rib cage until the blade had disappeared completely.

Lexa watched Ontari fall to the ground, her head twisted in an unnatural angle. And for a moment she stood, swaying unsteadily on her feet. Her hand cradling the hilt of the blade. Roan stared at Lexa, seeing the wound and he moved quickly to catch her before she fell to the ground and caused more damage.

“You are not allowed to die; your people will kill me without you teeing them otherwise.” Roan said pressing against the wound to try and slow the bleeding. Leaving the blade in kept the flow of blood minimal for now.

The throne room was filled with the eerie quiet that came with death. Broken only by the sounds of Lexa’s labored breathing, wheezing more and more under the strain of trying to breathe. The sound of a pain filled wail broke that silence so violently Roan jumped, jostling Lexa slightly causing her to groan.

“Take the child, once it is born, take it to my people.” Lexa instructed.

“Babies and I do not get along well.”

“Do this, and you will have your life. Take this, it will ensure that they take you at your word.” Lexa said pulling her red sash free from her army and pushing it into Roan’s hand.

“You want me to leave you to die?”

“Go.” Lexa said pushing Roan weakly, but her message was received and the newly appointed Ice King stood. Casting one last glance at Lexa as she lay on the ground staring up at the ceiling he went into the adjoining room.

The room smelled strongly of blood, looking around at the healers who were somberly moving around with their bowls filled with blood soaked towels. On the bed, Shae lay still her eyes open and unseeing. Roan knew without asking that she was dead. Attempting to fight the birth had caused irreparable damage to her and died shortly after the infant was born.

“Where is the child?” Roan asked looking around for it. He had expected to hear it crying but found that he heard nothing. One of the healers held out a bundled cloth, but the infant wrapped around it was silent.

“The child never drew breath.” Roan took the the bundle, wrapping Lexa’s sash around it and did as she had ordered him to do.

* * *

 

The sound of celebration seemed to erupt throughout the army as the coalition army stormed through the doors of the fortress, sweeping through any resistance with a new found fervor. Roan walked slowly, cradling the infant remembering what he had learned from Nia of the way that the Commander’s spirit moved on. The child may yet accept the Commander’s spirit. If that were the case, he wanted to be remembered as the one who delivered it to the coalition. 

“You there! Stop!” Cole commanded seeing Roan walking. Roan stopped obediently. Octavia saw the bundle that he carried and felt a chill run through her that had nothing to do with the cold.

“Where is the Commander?” Octavia demanded.

“She told me to bring the child to you. Giving me this to prove that my words are true.” Roan said producing the sash. Cole took the baby and looked down, finding the child to be stillborn. He turned and demanded a horse be brought to him, he would take the child to Clarke.

“Where?” Octavia repeated.

“The throne room. She was not far from death when I left her.” Roan answered surprised by the sadness he felt at relaying this information. He attributed it to the pain that he saw reflected back at him. He made no move to stop Octavia or Lincoln when they sprinted past him to the throne room. Maybe Octavia would make it in time so that Lexa did not leave the world alone.

* * *

Clarke washed her hands clean of the blood. Things were finally starting to settle down. There were still people that needed tending to, but Abby had told her that she needed to take a few minutes and collect herself. When she saw Cole riding towards them, her relief was short lived when she didn’t see Lexa riding with him. And when she saw that he was carrying something. 

“What is he carrying?” Clarke asked. Abby followed Clarke’s gaze, she didn’t know if Clarke meant to verbalize her question but when she saw that Cole was holding what looks suspiciously like a child Abby reached for Clarke.

“Clarke…”

“What. Is. He. Carrying?” Clarke repeated her voice breaking.

Cole stopped his horse and dismounted smoothly so not to jostle the bundle he was entrusted to. He made his way slowly towards Clarke and Abby, knowing the pain that he was about to inflict on Clarke.

“Where is Lexa?” Clarke demanded. She couldn’t bring herself to look at what Cole carried. Jackson took the infant and disappeared into the medical tent. Clarke felt Raven stand behind her, her hand on Clarke’s shoulder offering support. Several moments later they all heard the loud wailing of the infant.

“CLARKE! ABBY!” Octavia’s voice cut through the air and drew everyone’s attention. Clarke looked behind Cole and found Octavia racing towards them on her horse, with Lexa held in front of her. The Commander’s eyes were closed and her body limp but one of Octavia’s hands was holding the knife to try and keep it from moving. Clarke

It took many of them to get Lexa down from the horse without moving the knife too much. Clarke watched Abby begin her assessment of Lexa’s injury, she wanted to help. But she couldn’t move. She stood motionless, watching as Lexa lay unmoving and unconscious. Raven and Octavia practically held Clarke up supporting their friend as best they could, it was the only thing that they could do.

“She’s going to be okay Clarke. She’s Lexa.” Octavia promised.

“She has to be. We didn’t go through all of this for her to widow me now.” Clarke answered.

It took hours for Abby to stabilize Lexa, she had been lucky. The knife had nicked one of her ribs altering the angle of the blade just enough to avoid her heart. It still caused one of her lungs to collapse which needed fixing but by the end of it Abby was pretty sure that Lexa would be alright, unless there were any further complications.

“What should we do with the child?” Abby asked. Cole looked at the infant that had been laid to rest on a small makeshift bassinette. But it had not stopped its crying since it had been brought to them.

“It lives, that is a good sign for Heda. If that child was the newest Commander the child would not have awoken until Lexa died.” Cole explained. Lexa lay still half in her armor, what they didn’t have to remove anyway and she was covered in layers of furs to try and keep her warm. Clarke sat beside her, refusing to leave her wives side until she woke up.

 

**You are all amazing. The number of comments I have received astound me every time. I recieved such a positive response from my question about if I should post new fic's into the fandom that I'll probably be posting the first chapter of my new story later tonight if not tomorrow. Forewarning, it is a 3x07 fix-it of sorts. I know there have been a lot of those. But it'll be my take on where season 3 might go. It'll provide us (hopefully) with my version of what Clarke and Lexa would have been like as a couple, and an expansion on the 8th initiate of Lexa's conclave, and my answers to some of the unanswered questions. Anywho, look forward to hearing from you all :-)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Guys this is it! You've stuck with me till the end. This last chapter was hard to write, not going to lie. But I think it ended where it needed to. You guys are fantastic! I hope you'll follow me and read my other stuff. If you're reading my other 100 story, that should be updated sometime tomorrow.**

 

“You’re going to tear your stitches.” Clarke didn’t know how she was able to form words as Lexa continued her assault on her neck, placing open mouthed kisses along Clarke’s pulse point. Despite her words, Clarke’s hands clutched desperately at Lexa’s waist, feeling the heat from the brunette’s skin through the thin material of her shirt. Lexa had been recovering from her injuries for the past few weeks in Polis. In truth, Clarke had been surprised that she had managed to convince the stubborn Commander to remain in bed for as long as she did. Until finally, Abby had declared that it was alright for Lexa to return to light duty but nothing strenuous.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” Lexa whispered distractedly, raising her mouth to claim Clarke’s lips in a heated kiss that all but melted Clarke’s resolve entirely. They hadn’t been able to truly to intimate since the war ended and neither one of them would admit the fact that it was killing them. With Lexa’s injury physically preventing them, and Clarke needing to become interim Commander while Lexa recovered, this was the first time they were able to express their frustration at being parted for so long.

“Lex, you could hurt yourself further.” Clarke whined as Lexa’s hand tugged impatiently at the ties of Clarke’s pants.

“I hurt now.” Lexa answered. Though Clarke knew that the hurt that Lexa was talking about had nothing to do with her injury and everything to do with sexual frustration. In truth, Clarke felt herself throb at just the idea of Lexa touching her, her clit pulsed with need, thighs rubbing together just for a little bit of friction to ease the ache. The brunette seemed to sense her wife’s predicament and her hand slid under the material of Clarke’s pants, fingers finding purchase in hot, silken folds that coated her fingertips with wetness.

“ _God!”_ Clarke expelled a harsh breath as her hips bucked against Lexa’s hand. Her gasp turning into a loud moan when Lexa’s thumb began drawing teasing circles around the bundle of nerves, never touching directly but getting close enough for Clarke to nearly see stars. Lexa watched her hand as it moved within Clarke’s pants, satisfied by the reaction her touch was eliciting out of the blonde.

“I missed the sounds you make.” Lexa breathed against Clarke’s ear, taking the lobe between her lips and tugging at it gently. Smirking as Clarke bucked against her, more impatiently this time. “I miss how it feels to be inside you.”

To make her point, Lexa pushed a single finger inside Clarke as deep as she was able to go and felt Clarke clench around the digit, pulling it further in. Clarke muffled her cry against Lexa’s shoulder, but still Lexa wouldn’t be surprised if at least half the floor hadn’t heard it. At least her guard had learned by now, that not all cried that came from the Commander’s bedroom were cause for alarm.

Clarke felt the pleasure coarse through her entire body as if every nerve had suddenly become a receptor for pleasure only. Her head spun, and her breath came in sharp pants. Lexa’s fingers moving in her with a familiarity that meant she knew just how to touch Clarke to bring her to the edge, pushing her closer and closer until she was _almost_ there. And then slowing down, her focused touches becoming lazy but no less effective. It only served to keep Clarke on the edge without allowing her to go over it.

“Lexa.” Clarke pleaded. Forcing her eyes open and her head up so that she could see the brunette’s green eyes. Lexa wanted to draw this out, she wanted to savor every moment of it and enjoy what it was she almost lost. Clarke tried to inspire Lexa to move more by rocking her hips against Lexa’s hand with more intensity. Surely Lexa wasn’t mean enough to tease her when time and distance had already done that for them.

Getting the hint from Clarke’s piercing glare, Lexa kissed Clarke gently, apologetically even, before sliding another finger into Clarke and pressing against Clarke’s clit with the pad of her thumb. The reaction was instant. Clarke’s head falling backward, eyes closed tightly, mouth open as a loud cry of relief filled their bedroom. Feeling her orgasm wash over her harder than she had ever experienced before Clarke’s body shook in Lexa’s firm embrace. It felt endless, each time she thought that the pleasure had crested Clarke felt it more and more. Lexa’s fingers continuing to thrust harder and deeper, determined to prolong Clarke’s pleasure as long as possible.

Finally, when the sensitivity grew too much Clarke pushed against Lexa’s wrist and the brunette stopped her touches. Allowing for Clarke to ride out the aftershocks of her orgasm with only gentle kisses over Clarke’s entire face, her lips, cheeks, nose, eyelids, everywhere Lexa could reach.

When reality finally returned to Clarke, she felt Lexa guide them to their bed and lay her gently down upon it. Clarke felt boneless, her entire body feeling heavy and sated. Lexa lay next to her, resting on her uninjured side facing Clarke. The brunette smiling warmly, despite her own arousal she was more than content to allow Clarke the time she needed to recover. There was a bit of smugness that came along with her smile.

The two lay there for several minutes in blissful peace. Clarke’s breathing finally returning to a more controlled and calm rate.  Lexa watched fascinated as Clarke’s hand reached out, still trembling slightly, and traced the cloth over the jagged skin that was still working to repair itself. It would be an impressive scar, one that would haunt Clarke and that Lexa would wear with pride.

“I am fine Clarke.” Lexa insisted softly. She knew that there was nothing that she could say that would ever make Clarke not worry about her. Clarke would worry every time she left the safety of the capital to tour the lands of the Coalition. Just like Lexa would worry every time Clarke left the safety of their bedroom.

“Let’s keep it that way.” Clarke brought their lips together, rolling Lexa gently onto her back and sliding her thigh between Lexa’s legs. It was then that Lexa remembered her own desire. It was so easily for her to get lost in Clarke, giving Clarke pleasure was easily her favorite pass time. And Clarke’s needs, at least according to Lexa, vastly out weighed her own.

Sliding her tongue passed Lexa’s willing lips Clarke heard Lexa groan in appreciation, it always warmed her heart when Lexa allowed herself the freedom to make such noises. It wasn’t her first instinct and Clarke knew that it was just another sign of how much Lexa trusted her. It made her want to draw out more of these sounds. Their kiss growing in intensity, hungry, dominating even. And before either of them knew it Lexa was writhing beneath Clarke, desperate for Clarke to touch her.

Lexa had always been able to control her bodies reactions, even when she felt lost in arousal. But now she felt out of control, her body moving of its own volition doing anything and everything just to feel a little bit more of Clarke’s body. Desperately trying to get Clarke’s hands to touch more of her, touch her harder, do something. But Clarke’s hands stayed frustratingly still along Lexa’s hip. Her fingers burning into Lexa’s skin wasn’t enough. Clarke was still trying to be careful, afraid to hurt or exasperate Lexa’s injury. An injury that Abby had told them both was healing just fine.

“Clarke.” Lexa growled, she felt Clarke shudder against her. The rumble of sending a jolt straight through Clarke.

“No strenuous activity.” Clarke reminded reluctantly. Lexa glared, if Clarke wasn’t going to take care of her then Lexa would not hesitate to take matters into her own hands. Clarke knew that Lexa’s patience was quickly fading, she didn’t want to hurt Lexa but at the same time she couldn’t torture Lexa anymore.

Lexa watched Clarke as she slid down her body, pressing open mouthed kisses to ever bit of exposed skin she could find. Her gaze watching Lexa closely for any sign of pain or discomfort. But when she saw nothing but desperation and need she continued down further and further until her lips was trailing scorching paths across Lexa’s hip bone and along the inside of Lexa’s muscular thigh. Her eyes drinking in the sight of Lexa’s arousal. Her mouth watered at the sight. Remembering how Lexa tasted and hungry to taste it again, feel Lexa’s essence coat her tongue as she drove Lexa higher and higher towards ecstasy.

Running her tongue along Lexa, thick broad strokes of her tongue from the bottom of Lexa’s opening, dipping the tip of her tongue teasingly inside before moving up to flick Lexa’s clit. Lexa’s hips jumped from the bed, canting against Clarke’s mouth to encourage the blonde. Clarke couldn’t help but smile at Lexa’s reaction. Circling her tongue around the stiff bundle of nerves until Lexa was panting, her legs trembling, and her hands gripping desperately at the furs beneath her. She was so close. Clarke used her grip on Lexa’s hips to hold Lexa steady while she continued to devour Lexa, lapping up every drop Lexa had to offer.

“Clarke, please.” Lexa whispered like a reverent prayer to the Gods. Clarke didn’t have the strength to refuse such a plea, and as a result she wrapped her lips around Lexa’s clit, sucking gently. Lexa’s climax was sudden, surprising them both with its intensity. Lexa arched off the bed, head thrown back as a slew of Trigedasleng words falling from her lips.

Kissing her way up Lexa’s body, Clarke settled beside Lexa and saw her wife lost in the delirium of her pleasure. When Lexa’s eyes finally opened she saw Clarke watching her.

“I love you.” Clarke said pressing her lips against Lexa’s.

“I love you too.”

* * *

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Clarke asked, she had been watching as Lexa set what she would need on the table. So far there was a bowl of water, bandages, and leather bound wrap that she assumed held the tools she would need in order to tattoo Octavia’s skin. Octavia bounced on the balls of her feet, unable to contain the excitement that she felt at the prospect of this finally happening. She had thought that Lexa had forgotten her promise. That when they returned from the war that Lexa would give her her first tattoo. 

“I’m sure, come on Clarke. I’ve already gotten the lecture from Bellamy. But I want this.” Octavia stated. Indra had told her about this rite of passage. For a warrior to receive their first marking, it was a proud moment. Which was why Indra was also there. Normally, a warrior would receive a marking from their mentor.  But, Indra didn’t mind allowing Lexa to do it. Just so long as Octavia understood the honor.

“Alright, I’m not lecturing I’m just thinking about how much it’s going to hurt.” Clarke said watching Lexa unroll the instruments and seeing the sharpened instruments. Many of them looked like little picks. And then there was a small, hammer looking tool that looked ominous in so many ways.

“She is a warrior of the Commander’s army; she will endure it.” Indra said from where she sat. She was still weak, but every day she felt her strength return just a little bit. 

Octavia had no idea what image she would be getting on her arm. There was a huge amount of trust that she was placing in Lexa. Especially, having never seen Lexa’s drawing ability. But Octavia trusted Lexa. Even if it was the ugliest thing that Octavia had ever seen, she would wear it proudly because it was given to her by the Commander.

It was a process that took hours, and Octavia wasn’t going to lie. It hurt. A lot. Lexa used a small piece of charcoal to sketch an idea of the image that she wanted. In this case, an intricate design of swirls and lines. When she was done the skin of Octavia’s arm was red and irritated but the black ink that now decorated her arm was beautiful and perfect.

“It’s amazing.” Octavia said looking down at her bicep wanting to touch the ink but afraid it might hurt.

“It will take a few days for it to heal. Ask Lincoln to get you an ointment that will help with the healing and keep the skin from drying out.” Lexa instructed washing her ink stained hands.

“Thank you Heda.” Octavia said truly heartfelt. Her voice breaking with the motion that she felt in that moment. This moment, it was what she had always wanted. She was no longer a Sky Person dressed as a grounder. She was a grounder, accepted and marked by the Commander of the Coalition. She dared anyone to question that.

“You have earned it Octavia.” Lexa replied with a soft smile. She remembered when she had gone through this process with Anya. The mark that Anya had made her was one of her favorites. On her ankle there was a crude drawing of a wolf, she said that Lexa had a wolf’s spirit.

* * *

 

Peace had always been fleeting for the Grounders. Even times where there weren’t conflicts, people hesitated to call it peace. They were just moments in between war. But, now they were at peace. But now they were at peace. There was no one else to fight, the Mountain had fallen, the Ice Nation had fallen, and now the Coalition was at peace. In the months that followed Lexa would be lying if she said that she wasn’t constantly waiting for the peace to fall apart. She told all of her ambassadors that she wanted weekly updates from all of the clans. If there were any conflicts she wanted to be able to address them before they led into a bigger conflict. 

Polis flourished under the peaceful months, commerce came into the marketplace, everyday goods were exported and imported. It was a strange thing to see reports of food stores and treasury instead of casualty reports. Sitting on her throne Lexa read over the last of the reports for the day. They were in the process of establishing what Clarke and Abby called a hospital, it had kept Clarke busy and given her time to spend with her mother. Abby said it was important for there to be a place for the sick. Prevent potential outbreaks whenever illnesses came through the city.

“The child brought from the North…” Talia stopped, she had been reading about it’s progress. Lexa hadn’t seen the baby since that first glimpse. It would eventually go to the orphanage and become wards of the Commander. Lexa would occasionally go and see the children, make sure they were taken care of before they were given their assignments.

“What of it?” Lexa asked rubbing her eyes, her eyes burned from having read for so long.

“They say that he is perfectly healthy.”

“Good. Abby said that he was born stillborn?”

“He was born not breathing, but they were able to bring him back.” Talia didn’t understand the science of it. Abby had tried to explain to her how they had done it and why it worked. But Talia wasn’t really concerned with that.

“I suppose my spirit was not ready to leave me yet.”

“The Commander’s spirit will be with you for many more years.”

“Between you and Clarke, I do not think that I have much choice in the matter.” Lexa commented with a small smile.

“Heda, I want to discuss something with you.” Talia started, Lexa looked up sharply, Talia didn’t call Lexa by her title. Not in private anyway.

“Anything.” Lexa said standing and closing the distance between them. Talia looked away, looking almost sheepish.

“I want to go away from Polis for a while.” Lexa felt her heart stop at the request. That was what it was. Talia would never leave if Lexa didn’t tell her that it was alright. But the fact that she was asking, it made Lexa break a little bit inside.

“You want to leave?” Lexa asked.

“I was thinking about going to spend time with Luna.”

“For how long?” Talia looked away, she didn’t want to say the words. Leaving Lexa was something that she thought she would never do. But she wasn’t needed anymore. They were at peace, and Lexa had Clarke. That was enough for her. she had done her duty and now it was time to pass the title of Clarke.

“I have held this position until you found your own wife. I have taught Clarke what she needs to know, but she doesn’t need my instruction anymore. She will support you better than I can.” Talia heard her voice crack as her sentence went on.

“Why do you want to go? You have a place here. Who has made you feel differently?” Lexa demanded. Thinking that someone had to have said something, there was no way that Talia would want to leave her otherwise.

“You don’t need me anymore Lexa.”

“Yes I do!”

“You think that you do because you don’t know any different. Mentors know when their pupils are ready to go off on their own. Anya knew it when you stopped being her Second. Gustus knew it too, you don’t need my guidance anymore. You have Clarke.”

“That’s different.”

“Lexa, I have to do this. I have spent the majority of my life here. I want to explore; I want to see the world. One day I may come back; I won’t say that I won’t. And I will always be here if you need me. But I promise you, that you don’t need me.” Talia insisted. She saw the pain crossing Lexa’s face and that only made it harder. She was abandoning Lexa, and even though Lexa didn’t need her, that didn’t make the hurt any less.

“Go then.” Lexa said in barely a whisper. She couldn’t deny Talia this if it was something that she thought that she needed.

“Lexa…”

“May you find the peace you are looking for.” Lexa cut her off and turned away signaling that the conversation was done. She didn’t want Talia to see the tears as they fell down her cheeks and collected along the edge of her jaw.

* * *

 

Clarke was surprised when she returned back to their bedroom late that night and found that Lexa was nowhere to be found. Lexa usually was able to retire earlier now that there was peace. She was usually reading or occasionally Clarke would come and see Lexa still pouring over reports. But when she walked in and found the bedroom was empty, lit by the candles that littered the room Clarke was concerned.  Her entire body ached, she was tired, setting up the hospital was a lot of work. Still she went in search for Lexa. 

In the end it wasn’t that hard to find the brunette, she just needed to find the guards. There were always two guard waiting outside the room that Lexa occupied. They were still standing outside of the throne room. When she approached, neither of them moved out of her way in order to allow her to pass.

“Move aside.” Clarke commanded. The guards looked at one another and seemed to contemplate if they should actually move. Finally, they made the decision and they moved aside.

The throne room was dark, Lexa hadn’t bothered to light any candles and she had instructed that no one was to come in. After she had spoken to Talia, Lexa just wanted to be alone. When she heard the door open, Lexa didn’t have to look to know that it was Clarke. Her guards wouldn’t have allowed anyone else in. She sat in the doorway of her balcony, hidden behind her throne to anyone who wasn’t looking specifically for her. Her legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, she looked out at Polis. Bathed in the moonlight that shone over the city.

“What happened?” Clarke asked, the moonlight caused the streaks of tears to shimmer in the soft light. This was one of the few times Clarke had ever seen Lexa openly cry. Lexa swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, intending to answer and yet she couldn’t get the words out. “Lexa?”

Kneeling in front of the brunette Clarke tried to get Lexa to look at her, but the brunette wouldn’t. Not right away. With each silent moment that passed Clarke felt her worry grow. She couldn’t imagine what could have happened that would make Lexa so sad. Cupping Lexa’s face, she made the Commander look at her and she repeated her question.

“Talia is leaving.” Lexa answered finally. It took a moment for Clarke to understand what Lexa meant, and why it was causing Lexa such distress. But then she realized how much this was hurting Lexa and why.

“Where is she going?”

“To spend time with Luna. She said that she needs time to herself now that I don’t need her anymore.” Lexa explained. She hated how much she felt like this was a betrayal, an abandonment from someone that she had trusted. But she couldn’t help it. Talia had always been there, her entire life Talia had been there and now she wouldn’t be. And she was willingly leaving, she’d always thought that the only thing that would take Talia from her was death. Maybe that was selfish of her, in fact she knew that it was. But she couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke said knowing that Lexa wouldn’t hear anything else that she said.

“I lose everyone. Eventually. Costia, Anya, Gustus, and now Talia.” Clarke tried not to let Lexa’s words sting. Lexa didn’t mean them the way they were said. And Clarke knew that, she could be upset by them later, when Lexa wasn’t so broken.

“You aren’t losing Talia. She wants to go and see if she can be happy with Luna and her people. Don’t you want her to be happy?”

“Of course I want her to be happy. But she can be happy here right?”

“I’m sure she could. But, think about it from her perspective. Every room, every hallway probably reminds her of her wife. Think about how you were haunted by Costia. That is probably what Talia feels everyday. Don’t you want her to free from that?” Clarke asked running her fingers through Lexa’s hair trying to give her the comfort that she needed. Lexa nodded silently, she wanted the best for Talia. But that didn’t mean that she was happy about it.

“She has always been there. Since I can remember, Talia was always there. She taught me everything I needed to know. She was there for every injury, every hard lesson that I needed to learn. She was there for Costia. I don’t know how to be without having her in my life.” Lexa explained. Clarke nodded, she couldn’t imagine what that would feel like. Straddling Lexa’s lap, Clarke pulled Lexa to her and felt the brunette nestle against her shoulder. They stayed like that until Clarke’s legs went numb and she was sure Lexa’s had too, but neither of them made any effort to move. They would stay as long as it took for Lexa to feel better.

* * *

 

Talia had feared that Lexa wouldn’t come to see her off. But Lexa didn’t disappoint her. Walking down the steps to where she waited Lexa stood in front of Talia, the sadness still plain on her face. But she forced a smile. 

“This is not goodbye forever Lexa.” Talia reminded Lexa, wrapping her arms around Lexa and pulling her in for a tight hug. Lexa nodded softly against the older woman.

“I know. You are always welcome here.” Lexa vowed.

“I am only a messenger away.”

“Tell Luna, she needs to take care of you or she will answer to me.” Talia laughed and pulled away from Lexa, her arms dropping.

“I’m sure she will.” Talia answered. Looking behind Lexa, Talia’s gaze fell on Clarke. The blonde staying a respectful distance away allowing them their privacy. “Take care of her.” Talia instructed. Taking the invitation to come closer Clarke approached them.

“I will.”

“Travel safe.”

Lexa and Clarke watched Talia asked she rode off, being followed by several of Lexa’s best guards.

“You okay?” Clarke asked as they turned back to go inside.

“I will be. Things are going to change won’t they?”

“Nothing we can’t handle.” Clarke said linking her fingers with Lexa’s and squeezing gently as they stepped into the elevator.  

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I'm a little late to the party on this one. But this ship kinda drew me in. I know that there have been rumors that they might be killing Lexa off, or she'll be leaving the show so the actress can go do the Walking Dead spin-off. Eve if that's the case, I'll be finishing this story. Promise.


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